I'm dating a great Christian guy. He is Anglican. I feel worried that it will bother him that I'm agnostic. Sometimes I feel like I don't believe in God at all. I guess I just have never been that religious. I feel so alone. I love this guy and I'm afraid he will break up with me over this. I once told a guy I dated that I struggle with my faith and he broke up with me. I feel so hurt and betrayed by Christians. They preach love but it's all conditional. I feel like maybe all Christians will act this way. What sucks is that I have fallen in love with one. Any advice?
As a former Anglican I can attest to the comparative liberalness of the tribe but in the end I think the core differences between a “believer” and the other will eventually cause more friction than you may want in a very serious relationship. Just an assumption on my part… every situation is it’s own ballgame, so to speak. Good luck.
You're "dating" a religious person?
You need to sit down and have a serious talk with him
You might have found a great lover...but you didn't find a person who thinks like you....
...and that's so important.
HippyChick58 sums it up well...IMO.
Here's two memes for you to "think about"
What seems like 'love' (often just lust) today can be a source of frustration in the future. Beliefs are a major source of connection in a relationship and this one will stifle any future growth.
You're very young, keep looking around for someone who shares your worldview or lack thereof. Now is the time to be checking out lots of potential partners to find just the right fit. Being alone is good, it gives you space to figure out who you are. If you're afraid he will break up with you it shows you can feel the unbalance in the relationship. A good relationship will give you confidence. And yes, Xian love is conditional, essentially do it my way. You deserve better.
the only way to have a relationship that lasts is to be honest from the start. Otherwise you are only prolonging and making worse an eventual split that will be even more heartbreaking.
If you feel hurt and betrayed by Christians then why are you dating a Christian? You can't be that desperate.
How much of your integrity and self-respect are you prepared to sacrifice?
If he is so insecure that he cannot tolerate your agnosticism, he is NOT a worthy catch.
Beautifully put!
What hold has he got over you? Are you prepared to betray yourself to yourself for what that man seems to be offering you? What will you do if you realise that nobody has ever demonstrated the existence of any god, let alone his god?
You could lead him on a while and break up later, if you prefer.
That would be dishonest.
Obviously, some people didn’t get that this was tongue-in-cheek.
@Betty I don't agree with doing it either, but it's become clear to me with online dating that many people do play that game, use people for a while and then reveal who they really are when they are done and ready to leave. Way more selfish than I would ever be..
@MsKathleen There was nothing to indicate that it was.
@MsKathleen It would have been helpful. I tend to take the written word at face value.
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