Trump Claims the Medical Deep State Sabotaged His Election

President Trump reportedly flew into a rage, lashing out at his own Food and Drug Administration following an announcement six days after the election, that an experimental coronavirus vaccine from pharmaceutical giant Pfizer is more than 90% effective, claiming this proves the “medical deep state” deliberately tried to sabotage his electoral prospects by delaying the results till after the election.

I can see the President’s point here. After all, everyone knows the pharmaceutical industry has always been a seething, hotbed of left-wing, socialist debauchery. Gee, I wonder if this is the same “medical deep state” that saved his ass when he got Covid-19 a month or so ago? I guess it’s time for Rudy to hold another press conference at Pfizer Total Landscaping, and get to the bottom of this mess.

The funny thing is, you’d assume a President would be applauding the fact we may finally have a vaccine that could save millions of lives - but our President’s only concern is the timing of the announcement and its possible implications for his reelection. Of course, to be completely fair, it really wasn’t very nice of all those 245,000 Covid-19 victims to up and die like that - just to make the President look bad.

That said, the truth be known Mr. President, even if Pfizer had announced a cure for the coronavirus, cancer, heart disease, herpes simplex 2, or even athlete’s foot many months ago - I still wouldn't have voted for you. Frankly, if these election results really are the work of a “medical deep state,” then I say “thank you medical deep state!” Thank you, for finally ridding us of these 300 pounds of disgusting, self-indulgent narcissism - all stuffed into a $5,500 suit.

[johnnyrobish.medium.com]