Jerry Falwell Jr. Took Testosterone Supplements to Win Wife Back From Pool Boy

In an interview with Vanity Fair journalist Gabriel Sherman at their 500-acre Lynchburg farm, Jerry Falwell Jr. blamed the erratic behavior that got him fired from his position as President of the fundamentalist Christian Liberty University, on the “testosterone supplements” he was taking in an effort to win his wife Becki back from their pool boy - with whom she had been having a seven-year affair. In response, former pool boy Giancarlo Granda offers quite a different story, claiming the Falwells began “grooming" him when he was only 20, bought his silence with luxury vacations, rides on Liberty’s private jet, and an ownership stake managing a Miami Beach hostel. In addition, Granda claimed Falwell Jr. frequently enjoyed watching, while he was having sex with Falwell’s wife Becki.

Wow, sounds like that pool boy must have been packing a helluva lot more than simple cleaning supplies! Speaking of the pool, word has it that both Becki and the pool boy - loved going in “the deep end.” Now, I’m certainly no competitive swimmer, but my guess is they were using a lot of “backstrokes” in that pool. Of course, we always knew that Jerry Falwell Jr. was a “big prick,” we just didn’t know this “big prick,” was also a “limp dick.”

Anyway, so Jerry Falwell Jr. is claiming he took a “testosterone supplement” to win his wife back from the pool boy? Well, I’ve never heard of cocaine being referred to as a “testosterone supplement” before, but OK - whatever you say, Jerry. Funny, how testosterone supplements cause “erratic behavior,” and Ambien causes “racism.,” but only for right-wing zealots. Who knew?

That said, I rather suspect old Jerry and the pool boy may have had a few escapades together themselves, and perhaps Jerry was actually more interested in trying to “win the pool boy back” from his wife, than he was in “winning his wife back from the pool boy.” Not that any fundamentalist bigot like Jerry would ever have an issue admitting that he occasionally batted from either side of the plate.

Now, the Bible tells us that Jesus “rose again” on the 3rd day. Wonder if we can say the same for Falwell’s penis? My guess is, Becki didn’t feel much like waiting around for three days to find out. What I don’t get is, if he was sexually impotent, and impotence is basically caused by lack of blood flow to the penis, then why couldn’t a big-shot evangelical leader like Falwell, just command his penis fill up with “the blood of Christ?” Why, problem solved and - thank you Jesus!

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