How do you deal with the 'at work circles dilemma'. So you show up to a new job, everyone is nothing but smiles and happy and you're thinking to yourself, 'how long will it be before everyone hates my guts', because you're quite, bust out the work, and don't talk crap about other people. It seams like its only matter of time until the talkers start to get paranoid about you because your not affirming any of there statements. Not sure if anyone else gets this.
I get around it by being a listener and being sympathetic without really stating a strong opinion. Doesn't always work, especially in a really clique-y environment, but in general I just try to be friendly to everyone and not say much. I'm okay not being part of a clique.
I have worked most of my career as a technical specialist. Whether I'm primarily a programmer, a systems specialist, or a service tech, I'm Support. I'm an introvert who can play the extrovert for short periods of time; this means that I don't need to feel like I'm part of a "circle", or concern myself with others' personal feelings, it's the process that's important to me. I behave professionally, and may make a friend or two at work, but it's not a priority. Because my work is solving problems and helping people work smarter, people are usually happy to see me show up - and I'm happy to help people calm down in a crisis, and figure out how to work through it.
Goes on a lot! Most jobs are like middle school! If you are lucky a supervisor will recognize the good work you do and insulate you from your peers resentment, which can make your job miserable and chances for promotion zero. You just have to fake being polite, compliment their ties, ask about their dog, and ask how their weekend was. Complain about the weather and scoot back to work. Try not to take sides, stay neutral.
Just an fyi, I worked in a military environment for a long time, dog eat dog survival of the most charismatic, shit you not. No option to go it alone or be self employed. I would like to here form people that actually deal with others. I guess it comes down to the boss or the leader, its been a crap shoot for me. My ethic was to bust my ass and the proof is in the work, a good leader will see that but you would be surprised how many would prefer the lip service.
Welcome to the real world. Who cares what they say, think,or are if it doesn't affect you. Are you there to make friends? Not me. Never at work because I am an introvert for the reasons you expressed. Do a good job, don't abuse sick leave, don't foster complaints from the public, & use their rules against them. Then retire & never see any of them again. Rejoice!!!!
@Countrywoman wow, thanks for welcoming me to the real world, what a crappy comment and its a no brainier if you're not affected. Thank you for your sparkle of wisdom. I don't take kindly to being talked down to, have nice day.
@CandR Wow. Dooood, the world is crappy. Welcome to it is the truth. Trouble with the truth or do you just want 2 faced nicities which you just complained about. as you receive from your. You asked the question? I answered. Don't like the answer? Don't ask the question. One would think the military would toughen their men up....unless they took too many head shots. Have a nice life.
@Countrywoman Thanks, think my throat just shrank and inch because I still haven't choked down any crap yet. lol
A long time ago, when my daughter became a sergeant for the first time (that is, after the most scary test she had ever encountered) to qualify, the light bulb over her head lit... Bark to get the job done, never forget kindness, and always bring something yummy to the parties. If the proof is in your work, you have done your best within your rank and at your level-just one of the ants. Shmoozing (being charismatic) on base appears to be done by ants who feel they should be something more after being reminded that they just aren't. I think "lip service" is a bandage to cover something really crappy and ugly up. The boss doesn't prefer lip service to good work. That may be a boss who likes to see a subordinate wriggle and attempt to 'kiss ass'
@Countrywoman This gets my vote!
I rarely go into the office so I don’t have to deal with them in person that much.
Never had that problem, picked a profession where I could work alone no matter the employer.
Posted by KilltheskyfairyIntrovert thoughts…
Posted by KilltheskyfairyIntrovert thoughts…
Posted by KilltheskyfairyIntrovert thoughts…
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