Social life is a full contact sport!

O yes.. I have had this experience. I used to try so hard before.but now.. I think about a situation, and start to think of the outcome..and ahhh why bother.. it'll probably end up the same as all the times before.. a disaster lol

I definitely can relate to the experience of watching other people pair off, or group up, to chat, when I am on the "outside" of those groups/pairs. But I can also relate to the idea that "I am not as important OR as awkward as I might think I am, so probably no one is thinking about me as much as I am thinking about me."

I've noticed an interesting dichotomy within the postings for this group (introverts). There seems to be a lot of "I hate people/they're so stupid/I'm so lonely." There's some research that indicates that introverts are more intelligent than extroverts. And because we listen more than we talk, we have more time to think about what someone has said, and more time to JUDGE it. If I perceive the people around me as dumb, I have less desire to interact with them. I'm going to end up lonely if I follow that practice. One thing that may help is to try to find common ground with someone. Try to direct the conversation away from something you find boring ("You know, Jerry/Maria/Abdul/whoever, I'm not as much of an expert at this subject, and don't know as much about it, as you do. Could we talk about something where I can contribute as much as you can?" ) and find a topic that allows you to like the person because you have more interest in the subject. People are not INTENTIONALLY stupid; they're not behaving this way to piss you off. They just are not operating at your level, or they are not talking about things that you share an interest in. That doesn't mean you have to avoid them. It just means you have to find subjects you have enough interest in, or enough desire to ask questions about, at least for the duration of a single conversation/cup of coffee/meal. It is difficult to assuage loneliness if one is not willing to interact with people.

I had a friend in college whose mantra was, "F' em if they can't take a joke." I have often fallen back on that idea when I think that "I'm not doing this right/not talking about the right thing/being weird in a conversation." Ultimately, people don't think as much or as often about us as we think they do. And even if one does act a little strange from time to time, the law of averages says that it's going to be occasional enough to not dramatically influence how others perceive us. Don't THINK about what you are saying or doing; just speak or act, and then introspect later.

Yes. Of course almost anything is hard for me to do. But mix in people and almost impossible. And everybody on dating sites always wants to go and do. Finding someone who wants to be companionable is impossible.

I am definitely an introvert, but I like to say random shit to peole and sometimes I actually find a good person to talk to

Yup, that's ironically funny...we are not alone but we are lonely ?

I did have it. I stopped caring so much about what other people think. I wish I could tell you how it happened. I guess that I learned the idea that many people were vain, shallow idiots, and what are they doing judging me? I understand feeling isolated. At one time I liked being alone, but now not so much. I like to be around people more. It does not help that I had many people in the past working to kick-in my self-esteem. Keep trying, even if it is a little thing like asking a server for more water. Then perhaps you can work up to doing a Meet-up. It is hard. Please don't give up. I used DBT therapy and a good therapist to help me when I had a problem.

Yes. I have experienced that and still do from time to time. Much therapy and self esteem work has helped me accept myself and be ok with people.

Most introverts don't feel crushing lonliness. You might need to visit one of the mental health groups for support.

Are you coming off a traumatic event?

Nope... Just be yourself...