If we are unable to take the step to be vulnerable enough to really love another person then we will never achieve that state of love. The world is full of broken people, we have to push past that, use our common sense and then take a leap of faith if we want to find someone we can truly trust and love. Not an easy thing to do but it is possible, I'm proof of this, I was broken, parts of me still are but I found love and I did it by taking a chance.
@Surfpirate That's so wonderful to hear! I've met someone who takes me at my worse and when I'm good. Good relationships are hard to find.
@MichelleGar1 Good relationships are a lot of hard work, worth every bit of the struggle. I trust those who have stood by me in the bad times, anyone can be beside when the sun is shining and all is well but the people you trust are those who have stood by you to hell and back and would do it again with a smile.
I'm still of the opinion that alone time is me time, and I'm kind of into me for the first time in my life I think. I love it.
@Willow_Wisp I think we are programmed to believe that we need to collapse our persona into a relationship in order to find love but that has not proven to be the case for me. That's what I tried to do with my first marriage, it only led to a ride on the crazy train that could have end both our lives. She got the kids, I paid but never saw them again - a deal with the devil but if you love your kids you do what you must.
I was lucky, I made it through that depression, found the love of a good person who managed to see the good that was still left in me. It's not a Disney story but it is real and wonderful in it's own way.
@Surfpirate Right, but I really hate the drama, people come in a range of emotional phases. There can be great times, but they slowly evaporate and in the end it's petty quarreling to keep their lives entwined.
I just walked away after signing everything over to my spouse.
I amputated my heart, but I saved years of necessary legal negotiations.
Worth it, as a precautionary tale.
@Willow_Wisp Your heart is still intact or you wouldn't be able to write this post, hang in there. That which doesn't kill us may not make us stronger but at least it didn't kill us.
@Surfpirate It's been twelve years so it's too early to say what'll kill me.
I'd put even money on another cardiac arrest which is a high probability after my last one, which was my first one, my starter heart attack. Yay sudden heart conditions... so I need to spend my time saying exactly what's on my mind. It's connection and I need connection.
I've recently softened my position on men, now I only mostly dislike them.
So I'm making progress.
It's like learning to endure children.
Sometimes they can even be sweet.
@Willow_Wisp There's some good guy's out there. I've had my share of assholes but I wind up being an asshole back and it doesn't work out, oh well! Mine likes that I can be mean. Lol
It is hard to let our guard down after getting hurt or disappointed. But I would say that is part of self growth. Hard to apply, easier said than done.
If by being mean, you mean no longer putting up with sexism, bad behavior, and abuse, I guess I’m never going to have a boyfriend and I’m just fine with it. Since I’ve been divorced, there has not been one day when I’ve said to myself, I wish I was still married or I wish I had a man.
@Killtheskyfairy He told me I was nice a year ago and now I'm mean but he likes me this way!
But yeah no time for any of that garbage! I don't miss my ex husband either! I had to endure abusive behavior.
@MichelleGar1 I was on vacation on Prince Edward Island touring the Anne of Green Gables house a couple of years ago. For a moment I felt sorry that I had no one with which to share the beauty and joy.
Suddenly a man next to me on the tour started berating his wife about what do you mean Anne was a fictional character in a much beloved girls book and why the fuck did we drive out this far to see this crap? He was nasty and exactly like the monster I had married. I couldn’t stop smiling and I appreciated every minute of my remaining vacation. I am grateful every day to be free of him!
@Killtheskyfairy Some relationships are so toxic! I feel sorry for that lady! I hope she already left him or is doing well for herself! I would of been thinking like you if I heard some idiot berating someone.
A huge commitment!!
@EyesThatSmile Very HUGE commitment! Lol
Masturbate yourself then.
That's if you can still orgasm & want to.
@FrayedBear I have to, I'm in a long distance relationship, so I always go fuck myself! Lol
@MichelleGar1 I'm told that you can now get remotely controlled prosthetics to pleasure each other. Perhaps even a fully operational robot?
@FrayedBear Huh, something for him and I to think about......
@MichelleGar1 you don't sound enthusiastic. Is this relationship based on co-dependency?
@FrayedBear Lol!!! No codependency between the two of us.
Posted by backtobasicsEveryone benefits from a better education system, not just those that have children in it.
Posted by backtobasicsThe same people that used to put the word colored on water fountains and bathrooms are now putting biological on bathrooms.
Posted by backtobasicsWords to live by
Posted by backtobasicsHow the Puritans Thanksgiving should have gone.
Posted by glennlabLeave the kids alone.
Posted by mistymoon77Get your mind out of the gutter.. just passing along some tidbits of knowledge here.. ;)
Posted by glennlabLet's give peas a chance.
Posted by backtobasicsThe shortest distance between two points is a straight line... Unless you are traveling on a the surface of a sphere.
Posted by bookofmoronsGoing for Level 9. maybe this road will help
Posted by glennlabDeath is nature's way of telling you it is time to slow down.
Posted by glennlabOctober's PSA
Posted by glennlabWe haven't had any pot posts in awhile
Posted by bookofmoronsWhen a picture is worth a thousand words
Posted by noworry28Evangelicals and Conservative Christian Nationalists today.
Posted by glennlabMy heart goes out to those suffering in the wake of both the recent hurricanes, Will the idiots that don't want to help stop lying.
Posted by glennlabGood old Betty calling a spade a fucking shovel.