Dogs domestic and wild.

Zealandia comments on Aug 2, 2022:

I didn’t like dogs as a child, then my sister got rotties when I grew up, so appreciate them now. Any chance you can post a piccy of a dog carving? Would like to see one.

Zealandia replies on Aug 3, 2022:

@Castlepaloma Thanks, that’s really cool and nice workmanship. Great that they’re selling well and people obviously appreciate them.

Eating lots of highly processed foods is linked to faster cognitive decline.

godfree2 comments on Aug 2, 2022:

I think when neurology studies become more mainstream the link between nano particulates from internal combustion engines causing disorders the tide will change

Zealandia replies on Aug 3, 2022:

@Redheadedgammy Yeah, it’s a bit of a worry. What surprises me is how recently tyre dust has been identified as an issue that requires further investigation. EV’s are great emissions wise, but obviously generate even more tyre dust as they’re heavier. Might be a challenge to find suitable replacement compounds.

Eating lots of highly processed foods is linked to faster cognitive decline.

godfree2 comments on Aug 2, 2022:

I think when neurology studies become more mainstream the link between nano particulates from internal combustion engines causing disorders the tide will change

Zealandia replies on Aug 3, 2022:

Here’s the article. We obviously spell “tyre” incorrectly in Oceania. https://www.kuow.org/stories/scientists-pinpoint-chemical-that-s-been-killing-coho-salmon-it-comes-from-car-tires

Eating lots of highly processed foods is linked to faster cognitive decline.

godfree2 comments on Aug 2, 2022:

I think when neurology studies become more mainstream the link between nano particulates from internal combustion engines causing disorders the tide will change

Zealandia replies on Aug 3, 2022:

@Redheadedgammy There’s some interesting stuff coming out re dust emitted from tyres as they’re used. Just to highlight not about the impact, as that’s still unknown, but the ubiquitous nature of tyre dust. Lemme see if I can find it….later….

I see the murderers of Tiananman Square have got very upset at Nancy Pelosi going to Taiwan.

AnneWimsey comments on Aug 2, 2022:

And i/we should care becuz.....?

Zealandia replies on Aug 3, 2022:

@Druvius That’s the final outcome, agree that there’s a whole lot of other things that could happen before a nuclear war to make Chinese overreaction a shitshow for the rest of the world.

A guy runs into a bar and just starts jogging in circles around the interior with his eyes shut.

Zealandia comments on Aug 2, 2022:

He’ll be well rested and ready to run a marathon in the morning, that’s for sure.

Zealandia replies on Aug 3, 2022:

@Lilac-JadeCanada Hahahahaha, yeah exactly. Got his priorities right there.

A guy runs into a bar and just starts jogging in circles around the interior with his eyes shut.

Zealandia comments on Aug 2, 2022:

He’ll be well rested and ready to run a marathon in the morning, that’s for sure.

Zealandia replies on Aug 2, 2022:

@Lilac-JadeCanada There is… https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11053337/Moment-Welsh-rugby-player-crashes-beer-slide-challenge-sends-pints-FLYING-VIDEO.html I thought this was hilarious.

I see the murderers of Tiananman Square have got very upset at Nancy Pelosi going to Taiwan.

Zealandia comments on Aug 2, 2022:

Interesting how China is overreacting so much to a relatively minor event. Seems like the Chinese Government is.currently feeling vulnerable. I don’t think a visit by Nancy Pelosi warrants that level of response.

Zealandia replies on Aug 2, 2022:

@anglophone Good points you made there. Especially about the resilience of a culture. Tibet comes to mind. I think people underestimate the importance of cultural factors.

Why isn't holy water used in vaccines? Because you can't take the lord's name in vein.

Zealandia comments on Aug 2, 2022:

Worth a stab.

Zealandia replies on Aug 2, 2022:

@Lilac-JadeCanada That’s a good one.

A guy runs into a bar and just starts jogging in circles around the interior with his eyes shut.

Zealandia comments on Aug 2, 2022:

He’ll be well rested and ready to run a marathon in the morning, that’s for sure.

Zealandia replies on Aug 2, 2022:

@Lilac-JadeCanada Bar none!

It takes time.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Aug 2, 2022:

But won't crack under the stress.

Zealandia replies on Aug 2, 2022:

Scratching the glass is problematic though.

Why isn't holy water used in vaccines? Because you can't take the lord's name in vein.

Zealandia comments on Aug 2, 2022:

Worth a stab.

Zealandia replies on Aug 2, 2022:

@Lilac-JadeCanada It certainly is. We’ve got an old saying…. ….as a poke in the face with a blunt stick. My mate used to use it. Anything similar?

A jumper cable goes into a bar… The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start ...

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Aug 2, 2022:

Or get charged.

Zealandia replies on Aug 2, 2022:

Might be a shock to the system.

A jumper cable goes into a bar… The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start ...

LenHazell53 comments on Aug 2, 2022:

A looped, twisted and scruffy bit of string goes in to a bar, the barman asks "Are you a piece of string?" "No" the string says "I'm a frayed knot"

Zealandia replies on Aug 2, 2022:

That’s even worse than mine! Deserves a repost on the main Cheesy Jokes board.

Should "fuck" be a restricted word on this website?

Zealandia comments on Aug 1, 2022:

In my experience it depends really on the cultural viewpoint on the use of the word. I’m a kiwi, but spent many years living in the UK. So in New Zealand Aotearoa, the word “bugger” is acceptable, in the way people would say “darn” as a mild expression to show disappointment or ...

Zealandia replies on Aug 2, 2022:

This is English comedian Michael McIntyre’s take on the kiwi accent, it’s hilarious. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JrUlE8U3eg I had a workmate in England, she would just approach me and the request was”Just say six please.” Nah. Pleaaase…ok Then she’d roar with laughter. “Now say Deck”….ok. Absolutely folded over with mirth. The other colleagues weren’t sure what to do. I didn’t mind, as I knew that one of her best mates was a kiwi.

Should "fuck" be a restricted word on this website?

Zealandia comments on Aug 1, 2022:

In my experience it depends really on the cultural viewpoint on the use of the word. I’m a kiwi, but spent many years living in the UK. So in New Zealand Aotearoa, the word “bugger” is acceptable, in the way people would say “darn” as a mild expression to show disappointment or ...

Zealandia replies on Aug 2, 2022:

@FvckY0u Hahahaha, that’s a good one. Yes, most Americans probably wouldn’t be aware of the meaning. I recall Sherlock smoking shag tobacco too? Apparently the worst ever chat up line is: Lots of seagulls in this room… Fancy a shag? 😂 That’s pretty cringe worthy isn’t it.

Should "fuck" be a restricted word on this website?

Zealandia comments on Aug 1, 2022:

In my experience it depends really on the cultural viewpoint on the use of the word. I’m a kiwi, but spent many years living in the UK. So in New Zealand Aotearoa, the word “bugger” is acceptable, in the way people would say “darn” as a mild expression to show disappointment or ...

Zealandia replies on Aug 1, 2022:

@FvckY0u Very funny. One I remember is travelling in the North of England years ago and a hefty bus driver announced that the fare was 50p, “luv” I figured out later on that he said it to everyone. Your London colleague probably wouldn’t be at all offended if you’d asked mind if I could have a suck on your fag. Pimping a male escort would be the last thing on his mind. There’s a kiwi saying Sweet as” which means very satisfactory or excellent…..I think you can see where this is going…. Kiwi filmmaker was having an animated discussion with a female colleague in LA, he said sweet as to signify his approval of her point. The executive looked puzzled and then glanced at her apparently well toned bum….lol. He had to hastily clarify. Fanny pack is very rude here too. Called bum bags. Think that’s enough for now….

Should "fuck" be a restricted word on this website?

snytiger6 comments on Jun 18, 2022:

I think that certain words in user names can easily be offensive, whether or not the person wishes to provke a response. By limiting opportunities to offend, the site will have more regular users than it would have it allowed it.

Zealandia replies on Aug 1, 2022:

@FvckY0u Yeah, no one will probably know or understand what you’re saying. Could have quite a bit of fun with that, especially if you mix them up.

Should "fuck" be a restricted word on this website?

snytiger6 comments on Jun 18, 2022:

I think that certain words in user names can easily be offensive, whether or not the person wishes to provke a response. By limiting opportunities to offend, the site will have more regular users than it would have it allowed it.

Zealandia replies on Aug 1, 2022:

@FvckY0u if you actually walked a Christian through what “Gadzooks” really means and the implications of using it in an ironic or flippant way, I’m sure that they would find it deeply offensive.

Should "fuck" be a restricted word on this website?

Zealandia comments on Aug 1, 2022:

In my experience it depends really on the cultural viewpoint on the use of the word. I’m a kiwi, but spent many years living in the UK. So in New Zealand Aotearoa, the word “bugger” is acceptable, in the way people would say “darn” as a mild expression to show disappointment or ...

Zealandia replies on Aug 1, 2022:

@FvckY0u That’s an interesting example re the usage of chicken breasts. I wonder what it was called instead of breast? Of course you’ll be aware of words commonly used in the USA that are no longer in currency in England itself. One that comes to mind is turnpike. I visited America many years ago and caused a lot of consternation when I innocently asked for a rubber to remove something written with a pencil. I honestly didn’t know the difference at the time.

I think the mechanic at my local garage has amnesia.

FrayedBear comments on Aug 1, 2022:

Yeah, LED's have been around a while.

Zealandia replies on Aug 1, 2022:

Maybe an old fashioned mechanic, doesn’t like the new fangled stuff.

Should "fuck" be a restricted word on this website?

snytiger6 comments on Jun 18, 2022:

I think that certain words in user names can easily be offensive, whether or not the person wishes to provke a response. By limiting opportunities to offend, the site will have more regular users than it would have it allowed it.

Zealandia replies on Aug 1, 2022:

@FvckY0u In reference to my other comment, if I think you’re a good all round bloke, I could maybe call you SirGadzooks? 😂

Should "fuck" be a restricted word on this website?

Zealandia comments on Aug 1, 2022:

In my experience it depends really on the cultural viewpoint on the use of the word. I’m a kiwi, but spent many years living in the UK. So in New Zealand Aotearoa, the word “bugger” is acceptable, in the way people would say “darn” as a mild expression to show disappointment or ...

Zealandia replies on Aug 1, 2022:

@FvckY0u Good point, the concept of swear words almost certainly has a religious origin, well in English anyway. Plus English is a relatively new language. Are you aware of minced oaths? Blasphemous curses modified so that they don’t apparently incur the wrath of some deity. A good one is “Crikey “ which actually means “God strike me”. I find them interesting, only to show that the meaning and implications of words changes over time. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minced_oath This article discusses the religious origins of minced oaths: https://theconversation.com/zounds-what-the-fork-are-minced-oaths-and-why-are-we-still-fecking-using-them-today-141423 Who knows, one day in the far future, many people will be wondering about why it was such a big deal to use the word fuck.

I would like to address the issues of moderators who block people from groups.

Zealandia comments on Jul 30, 2022:

Hey everyone on The Senate Seems like a pretty grand title, not a term used in my flavour of democracy…. How’s it going. Dipping my toe in here…I usually keep a pretty low profile. I was blocked from a group, even though I’d been very polite and neutral to provocative comments by ...

Zealandia replies on Aug 1, 2022:

I realised why the word Senate is unfamiliar to me. Because in NZ we don’t have one, the concept simply doesn’t exist. I can explain if anyone is a constitutional nerd. However to people with a republic based viewpoint on democracy, it sounds bat shit crazy. Works for us though.

If a plane has a small crack in it, is that called an airline fracture?

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jul 31, 2022:

Call a taxi.

Zealandia replies on Aug 1, 2022:

Plane and simple.

I would like to address the issues of moderators who block people from groups.

Zealandia comments on Jul 30, 2022:

Hey everyone on The Senate Seems like a pretty grand title, not a term used in my flavour of democracy…. How’s it going. Dipping my toe in here…I usually keep a pretty low profile. I was blocked from a group, even though I’d been very polite and neutral to provocative comments by ...

Zealandia replies on Jul 31, 2022:

@Redheadedgammy Thanks 🙏

I would like to address the issues of moderators who block people from groups.

Zealandia comments on Jul 30, 2022:

Hey everyone on The Senate Seems like a pretty grand title, not a term used in my flavour of democracy…. How’s it going. Dipping my toe in here…I usually keep a pretty low profile. I was blocked from a group, even though I’d been very polite and neutral to provocative comments by ...

Zealandia replies on Jul 31, 2022:

@SpikeTalon Think you.

The numbskulls and idiots in Australian and New Zealand sport are equating the removal of prejudice ...

Marionville comments on Jul 30, 2022:

It’s not the players who objected that is the problem it’s the leaders of the evangelical churches which these guys attend and who are feeding them this bigotry. They are told to fear and to oppose any LGBT rights measures which sport and society tries to promote. It’s significant I think ...

Zealandia replies on Jul 30, 2022:

@Marionville Thanks. So hopefully Tom will compete again in the future.

New Zealand police have classified the Proud Boys as a terrorist organization : NPR

Seriousreason comments on Jul 2, 2022:

Just another pathetic virtue signal. Demonizing social clubs is just a pointless task here . There are no Proud boys in NZ . N Z police like any govt funded organisation. Feeds on the propoganda concocted by a dishonest media .who accentuate the buzz words l ike Far Right meaning ...

Zealandia replies on Jul 30, 2022:

The following report adds a bit more context: New Zealand’s government has declared that the American far-right groups the Proud Boys and the Base are terrorist organisations. The two groups join 18 others, including the Islamic State group, that have been given an official terrorist designation, making it illegal in New Zealand to fund, recruit or participate in the groups, and obligating authorities to take action against them. It’s not virtue signalling. Proactive policing. The US groups are not known to be active in New Zealand, but the South Pacific nation has become more attuned to threats from the far right after a white supremacist shot and killed 51 Muslim worshippers at two Christchurch mosques in 2019. In the US, the state department only lists foreign groups as terrorist entities. But the Proud Boys were last year named a terrorist group in Canada, while the Base has previously been declared a terrorist group in Britain, Canada and Australia. In a 29-page explanation of the Proud Boys designation published Thursday, New Zealand authorities said the group’s involvement in the violent attack on the US Capitol building on 6 January 6 2021 amounted to an act of terrorism. I just don’t understand how a “left wing country” can be ranked as the most libertarian nation in the world. America only makes it to 15th.🤣. . https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/libertarian-countries

The numbskulls and idiots in Australian and New Zealand sport are equating the removal of prejudice ...

Marionville comments on Jul 30, 2022:

It’s not the players who objected that is the problem it’s the leaders of the evangelical churches which these guys attend and who are feeding them this bigotry. They are told to fear and to oppose any LGBT rights measures which sport and society tries to promote. It’s significant I think ...

Zealandia replies on Jul 30, 2022:

@Marionville Yes, it is. Was wondering, has Tom Daley retired, or is he just having a break?

The numbskulls and idiots in Australian and New Zealand sport are equating the removal of prejudice ...

Marionville comments on Jul 30, 2022:

It’s not the players who objected that is the problem it’s the leaders of the evangelical churches which these guys attend and who are feeding them this bigotry. They are told to fear and to oppose any LGBT rights measures which sport and society tries to promote. It’s significant I think ...

Zealandia replies on Jul 30, 2022:

Footage of the protesters in Birmingham was shown on the TV news in NZ Aotearoa.

Reminds me of chocolate cheesecake topped with Raspberries... very well done!

Zealandia comments on Jul 28, 2022:

Nice. I always perceive stout as a winter drink, although I know it is consumed year round in warmer climates. Where’s the brewery?

Zealandia replies on Jul 29, 2022:

@FrostyJim Thanks for the info. Like the T-shirt!

Reminds me of chocolate cheesecake topped with Raspberries... very well done!

Zealandia comments on Jul 28, 2022:

Nice. I always perceive stout as a winter drink, although I know it is consumed year round in warmer climates. Where’s the brewery?

Zealandia replies on Jul 29, 2022:

@FrostyJim Any details on the can?

Vintage beer photo from New Zealand, in the 1940’s.

LenHazell53 comments on Jul 28, 2022:

sTAGED, LOOK CLOSELY ALL THE BOTTLES ARE EMPTY

Zealandia replies on Jul 28, 2022:

Good point, I hadn’t noticed that.

Someone called me lazy today. I almost replied.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jul 27, 2022:

Yeah, wouldn't want to waste your precious time.

Zealandia replies on Jul 28, 2022:

@Lilac-JadeCanada Thanks, just the way the website works.

Someone called me lazy today. I almost replied.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jul 27, 2022:

Yeah, wouldn't want to waste your precious time.

Zealandia replies on Jul 28, 2022:

@Lilac-JadeCanada How did you respond without typing two characters?? Do tell.

Someone called me lazy today. I almost replied.

LiterateHiker comments on Jul 27, 2022:

Good joke! I have never been called lazy in my life.

Zealandia replies on Jul 28, 2022:

Neither have I to my face. Although a mate once observed that if my Dad was any more chilled out, he’d be dead. Just reflecting, maybe that was a sarky observation about my work proclivities?

Someone called me lazy today. I almost replied.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jul 27, 2022:

Yeah, wouldn't want to waste your precious time.

Zealandia replies on Jul 27, 2022:

!!

A perfectionist walked into a bar. Apparently it wasn’t set high enough.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jul 27, 2022:

Did he end up in limbo?

Zealandia replies on Jul 27, 2022:

No, unfortunately perfectionists are inflexible and unable to bend over backwards for this kind of situation.

My neighbor rang on my doorbell at 3 am... can you believe it!?

Betty comments on Jul 24, 2022:

You should have offered them a triangle. lol

Zealandia replies on Jul 25, 2022:

@Betty Glazed drumsticks never go amiss either.

They want to predict the winner of the race.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jul 24, 2022:

Boring, huh?

Zealandia replies on Jul 25, 2022:

I just tell the interviewers to jog on.

I grilled a chicken for 2 hours... It still wouldn't tell me why it crossed the road.

FrayedBear comments on Jul 24, 2022:

When you've eaten it give the bones to the FBI they'll extract a confession out of them even if it is bs.

Zealandia replies on Jul 25, 2022:

@phxbillcee Guantanamo style?

I grilled a chicken for 2 hours... It still wouldn't tell me why it crossed the road.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jul 24, 2022:

Did you have specific questions ready, or did you just wing it?

Zealandia replies on Jul 25, 2022:

Clucked out there unfortunately.

I grilled a chicken for 2 hours... It still wouldn't tell me why it crossed the road.

FrayedBear comments on Jul 24, 2022:

When you've eaten it give the bones to the FBI they'll extract a confession out of them even if it is bs.

Zealandia replies on Jul 25, 2022:

I wonder how you waterboard a chicken?

My partner asked for a little peace and quiet whilst cooking dinner.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jul 23, 2022:

Yes, food can be burnt quite nicely without all that racket to help it along.

Zealandia replies on Jul 24, 2022:

@Lilac-JadeCanada I just say char grilled. Sounds better than char burnt.

My partner asked for a little peace and quiet whilst cooking dinner.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jul 23, 2022:

Yes, food can be burnt quite nicely without all that racket to help it along.

Zealandia replies on Jul 23, 2022:

Some people like their food well done. Not necessarily done well.

I was going to make a joke about oxygen... But I aired on the side of caution.

FrayedBear comments on Jul 21, 2022:

Sure it wasn't flatulence & you farted?

Zealandia replies on Jul 22, 2022:

@FrayedBear I thought she was born in London, turns out it was Oxford.

I was going to make a joke about oxygen... But I aired on the side of caution.

FrayedBear comments on Jul 21, 2022:

Sure it wasn't flatulence & you farted?

Zealandia replies on Jul 21, 2022:

@FrayedBear I saw a documentary on the BBC about Miriam, I think she was living with her partner in QLD at the time. It was a roadie documentary called “Nearly Australian”. I just thought it was a bit odd that England celebrated a “national treasure” who didn’t actually live there and identified themselves as an Aussie. Presumably the British taxpayer fund her trips to the UK for work. She’s not exactly a spring chicken, so probably doesn’t go very often now.

I was going to make a joke about oxygen... But I aired on the side of caution.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jul 21, 2022:

Good move....you wouldn't want anything to blow up in your face.

Zealandia replies on Jul 21, 2022:

@Lilac-JadeCanada More cows than people here, so it comes from the dairy air.

I was going to make a joke about oxygen... But I aired on the side of caution.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jul 21, 2022:

Good move....you wouldn't want anything to blow up in your face.

Zealandia replies on Jul 21, 2022:

Yeah, that would have been an absolute gas, man.

I was going to make a joke about oxygen... But I aired on the side of caution.

FrayedBear comments on Jul 21, 2022:

Sure it wasn't flatulence & you farted?

Zealandia replies on Jul 21, 2022:

I had an oxygen mint afterwards, it was a breath of fresh air. Miriam Margolyes lives in Oz, doesn’t she? https://www.theguardian.com/film/2022/jul/20/miriam-margolyess-arnold-schwarzenegger-fart-feud

My next door neighbour has just bought a few old automobiles, including a Dodge Omni.

FrayedBear comments on Jul 19, 2022:

What's a Dodge Omni?

Zealandia replies on Jul 20, 2022:

@FrayedBear Yes, the Oz/Kiwi version of the Honda Fit is called the Jazz. My car still has the original electronic toll collection unit for Japanese motorways built in under the steering wheel. An automated voice message in Japanese activates every time I open the door. Apparently it’s reminding me to insert the ETC or Electronic Tolling Card.

My next door neighbour has just bought a few old automobiles, including a Dodge Omni.

FrayedBear comments on Jul 19, 2022:

What's a Dodge Omni?

Zealandia replies on Jul 19, 2022:

@FrayedBear Derived from the Chrysler Alpine that was manufactured in Europe apparently. Were the Alpines imported into Oz? I don’t recall them, although it seems that they sold in small numbers here. BTW, there’s a fair number of Yank Tanks from the 50’s and 60’s on TradeMe and on the road, people are importing them from the States. I like looking at them, although all I’m interested in now personally is something that gets me from A to B reliably. My Honda Fit Jap import meets my needs perfectly.

My next door neighbour has just bought a few old automobiles, including a Dodge Omni.

FrayedBear comments on Jul 19, 2022:

What's a Dodge Omni?

Zealandia replies on Jul 19, 2022:

Dodge Omni was a sedan produced by Chrysler USA during the 1980’s. As far as I can tell, it wasn’t sold in Australia or NZ.

I always take a second pair of trousers when I go golfing... in case I get a hole in one.

FrayedBear comments on Jul 14, 2022:

Funny you should mention that. Within an hour of taking up residence in this timy houde I'm currently minding I locked myself in. As a result of trying to get out I got about 7 holes in the seat of my trousers. The plus side is that I'm still alive & about an hour & a half of repairing saw the ...

Zealandia replies on Jul 15, 2022:

Glad to read that you’re still alive after that experience and that you managed to extricate yourself from the house. Plus repair the trousers. I recall many years ago, the boss at the office where I worked somehow managed to lock the car in the parking space downstairs, with the engine still running! One of those Holden Commodores. I don’t recall how long it took for staff to find out.

I always take a second pair of trousers when I go golfing... in case I get a hole in one.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jul 14, 2022:

Par for the course.

Zealandia replies on Jul 14, 2022:

Thought I’d putt it out there. Pretty rough though.

My girlfriend just dumped me.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jul 12, 2022:

Them damned grammer poleese!!!

Zealandia replies on Jul 14, 2022:

@Lilac-JadeCanada Nice that you’re enjoying time together, a night in on the tiles. I bought cuff links made from scrabble tiles years ago, for something different.

My girlfriend just dumped me.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jul 12, 2022:

Them damned grammer poleese!!!

Zealandia replies on Jul 13, 2022:

A local café sign is informing passers by that pie’s are available. That’s really stretching the apostrophe usage.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and trembles? A nervous wreck.

Zealandia comments on Jul 11, 2022:

Shiver me timbers.

Zealandia replies on Jul 12, 2022:

@Lilac-JadeCanada I thought that was a groat comment.

My friend who is a dairy farmer, has decided to study medicine.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jul 12, 2022:

Probably milked the cows for all they were worth.

Zealandia replies on Jul 12, 2022:

He felt seen, but not herd…..His family said how dairy.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and trembles? A nervous wreck.

Zealandia comments on Jul 11, 2022:

Shiver me timbers.

Zealandia replies on Jul 12, 2022:

@Lilac-JadeCanada I’m doubloon down here.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and trembles? A nervous wreck.

Zealandia comments on Jul 11, 2022:

Shiver me timbers.

Zealandia replies on Jul 12, 2022:

@Lilac-JadeCanada Plundered it from somewhere….pretty shallow isn’t it.

How many Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? None. It's already enlightened.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jul 11, 2022:

Very bright people.

Zealandia replies on Jul 12, 2022:

Yep, pretty switched on.

My friend David had his ID stolen... Now he’s just Dav.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jun 28, 2022:

So if asked, he just shows his entification?

Zealandia replies on Jun 29, 2022:

He’s still an entity.

Watched a documentary about people walking on fiery hot coals. It was sole destroying.

FrayedBear comments on Jun 19, 2022:

You also saw the news item of nearly 30 burning their feet in Switzerland or somewhere closeby & thought "what a bunch of nutters"?

Zealandia replies on Jun 19, 2022:

@FrayedBear Yeah, maybe the organisers didn’t wait for the fire to settle down into embers before starting the walk. Reading further, it was apparently a “team building exercise” whatever that means. Did the exact opposite of team building as far as I can see. I found this little nugget: A few years ago, 30 people were injured at an event organised by motivational speaker Tony Robbins. The 'Unleash the Power Within' event in Texas saw dozens of people attempting to walk over a bed of hot embers but suffered burns to their feet and legs Probably channeling Tony Robbins there! Unleashing the power of going to hospital more like it.

Watched a documentary about people walking on fiery hot coals. It was sole destroying.

FrayedBear comments on Jun 19, 2022:

You also saw the news item of nearly 30 burning their feet in Switzerland or somewhere closeby & thought "what a bunch of nutters"?

Zealandia replies on Jun 19, 2022:

Yes, I did see the article and think that. Apparently it’s possible to walk across hot coals for only a short period without causing harm. The length was probably miscalculated. You’d think that the session would be stopped after the first couple of people raised concerns.

I've just started knitting for the Mafia. They call me Scarf Ace.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jun 14, 2022:

A purl of a name, & you could play a hand of cards too.

Zealandia replies on Jun 16, 2022:

@Lilac-JadeCanada Agree, best not to needle them unnecessarily. Otherwise, one of them might deck you.

I've just started knitting for the Mafia. They call me Scarf Ace.

FrayedBear comments on Jun 14, 2022:

Could be worse. You could be called new jersey boy.

Zealandia replies on Jun 15, 2022:

I’m not that keen on concrete overcoats. I met an Italian American guy through work whose grandfather was a doctor in New York. Apparently his grandfather used to have local Mafia members as clients. Lots of incentives to do well in your job there.

I've just started knitting for the Mafia. They call me Scarf Ace.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jun 14, 2022:

A purl of a name, & you could play a hand of cards too.

Zealandia replies on Jun 15, 2022:

Yeah, the Mafia are a tight knit bunch.

My partner and I were having an argument about whose turn it was to do the laundry.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jun 12, 2022:

Were you clapped in irons?

Zealandia replies on Jun 12, 2022:

@Lilac-JadeCanada She got me totally pegged, if you get my dreft.

My partner and I were having an argument about whose turn it was to do the laundry.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jun 12, 2022:

Were you clapped in irons?

Zealandia replies on Jun 12, 2022:

I saw sense and folded in the end.

A friend has bought an old aircraft, taken the wings off, and turned it into a restaurant beside the...

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jun 6, 2022:

May as well be a taxi.....not in service.

Zealandia replies on Jun 6, 2022:

It looks Uber cool though.

When Joseph Swan developed an experimental light bulb, did a candle appear above his head?

FrayedBear comments on Jun 4, 2022:

Could have been a kerosene lamp.

Zealandia replies on Jun 4, 2022:

Good point.

At university I’m taking a class on Braille.

FrayedBear comments on Jun 2, 2022:

Australian bank notes now include braille identification.

Zealandia replies on Jun 3, 2022:

Unfortunately NZ doesn’t. The UK notes have sequences of raised dots in the top left hand corner to assist with identification.

The waiter told me that their restaurant had an all-you-can-eat buffet. I couldn't ask for more.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jun 2, 2022:

Well ya gotta ask for more.....that's what all you can eat means....gluttony abounds.....

Zealandia replies on Jun 2, 2022:

Well, there was this girl at the restaurant only choosing vegetables. I thought, I’ve never seen herbivore.

At university I’m taking a class on Braille.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Jun 2, 2022:

Just don't get arrested....

Zealandia replies on Jun 2, 2022:

No worries, I put some feelers out, just to make sure I don’t rub anyone up the wrong way.

Mr. Bigger and Mrs. Bigger have a baby. Who’s the biggest in the family?

Zealandia comments on May 31, 2022:

Still sizing up this joke…

Zealandia replies on May 31, 2022:

@Lilac-JadeCanada Yeah, the English are a bit prissy about the usage of that word. I used to respond to any comments by politely explaining that in NZ culture, it’s perfectly acceptable to use that word and that if they didn’t believe me, Google it. People often didn’t know how to respond and dropped the topic….

Mr. Bigger and Mrs. Bigger have a baby. Who’s the biggest in the family?

Zealandia comments on May 31, 2022:

Still sizing up this joke…

Zealandia replies on May 31, 2022:

@Lilac-JadeCanada I got told off if people overheard me using the word in the UK.

My wife says she's leaving me because of my obsession with supermarkets.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on May 31, 2022:

And help out to her car too?

Zealandia replies on May 31, 2022:

Yes, I refuse a tip if offered as well.

Mr. Bigger and Mrs. Bigger have a baby. Who’s the biggest in the family?

Zealandia comments on May 31, 2022:

Still sizing up this joke…

Zealandia replies on May 31, 2022:

@Lilac-JadeCanada This is how we pronounce “Bigger” in New Zealand: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUNJd06iyWU It’s an everyday saying here when something goes a bit pear shaped.

My friends ask me how I smuggle so much chocolate into the cinemas.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on May 24, 2022:

And not likely noticed if you were on Mars.

Zealandia replies on May 24, 2022:

I took in a real Bounty of chocolate in each time. I was Purdy good at it. The cinema manager Mr Big would have lost his Temper if he knew how much I was smuggling in.

Just had or should I say TRIED to have to have, a phone conversation with Henry's Mum, Naomi.

Zealandia comments on May 20, 2022:

I had a quick look online, the teacher should be following the Australian legislation. The Education and Training Reform Act stipulates that public school education must be secular. Schools are not permitted to promote “any particular religious practice, denomination or sect, and must be open to ...

Zealandia replies on May 22, 2022:

@Triphid Not sure what objective this answer achieved. Relies on the assumption that I’ve closely read your postings and am aware of where Henry lives. Which is incorrect. The post was actually intended to be a curious and friendly question. Clearly this tone was interpreted incorrectly.

Just had or should I say TRIED to have to have, a phone conversation with Henry's Mum, Naomi.

Zealandia comments on May 20, 2022:

I had a quick look online, the teacher should be following the Australian legislation. The Education and Training Reform Act stipulates that public school education must be secular. Schools are not permitted to promote “any particular religious practice, denomination or sect, and must be open to ...

Zealandia replies on May 21, 2022:

@Triphid Thanks for clarifying that Henry lives nearby you in NSW. Can you please explain to me how I’d be aware that Henry and family actually live in Australia? And how I was jumping to conclusions re his whereabouts? I was aware that you did, given that the post I submitted mentioned Australian legislation. The quote had a question mark at the end. “Unless Henry and family don’t live in Oz?” The question mark signified that I wasn’t sure of Henry’s whereabouts from the information provided in the post. People make phone calls all over the world these days. I could have assumed (possibly incorrectly) that he was living in Oz. Therefore my question was reasonable, given the lack of detail re Henry’s location in your post. In my opinion, Budgie was making a valid comment.

Just had or should I say TRIED to have to have, a phone conversation with Henry's Mum, Naomi.

Zealandia comments on May 20, 2022:

I had a quick look online, the teacher should be following the Australian legislation. The Education and Training Reform Act stipulates that public school education must be secular. Schools are not permitted to promote “any particular religious practice, denomination or sect, and must be open to ...

Zealandia replies on May 21, 2022:

@Budgie Precisely, people live all over the place now.

Just had or should I say TRIED to have to have, a phone conversation with Henry's Mum, Naomi.

Zealandia comments on May 20, 2022:

I had a quick look online, the teacher should be following the Australian legislation. The Education and Training Reform Act stipulates that public school education must be secular. Schools are not permitted to promote “any particular religious practice, denomination or sect, and must be open to ...

Zealandia replies on May 20, 2022:

@anglophone No worries, glad that the info was helpful. My opinion is that working in those types of jobs is a privilege, not a right and that the outcome should be loss of employment. She’s a substitute, so clearly knows better.

Why was the snowman looking in the bag of carrots? He was picking his nose.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on May 19, 2022:

And in front of everybody, too.

Zealandia replies on May 20, 2022:

Was the scenter of attention as well.

I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected.

Dyl1983 comments on May 18, 2022:

But your Prime Minister's a great man... I mean, anyone who'd be willing to make an total ass out of himself, for the enjoyment of others, has to have a heart of gold!!! Look at that!!! Hilarious!!!

Zealandia replies on May 18, 2022:

Yeah, BoJo is literally a clown….although he’s not my PM any more as I moved countries. I need to update my location. The post was a dig to my Aussie mates across the ditch, as there’s federal elections on Saturday to choose a new Prime Minister.

Not sure about my new sat nav.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on May 15, 2022:

Maybe cheetah & shut it off.

Zealandia replies on May 18, 2022:

@Lilac-JadeCanada At least you don’t find them boaring….I thought the Lion pun was pushing it a bit in the groan factor…

Not sure about my new sat nav.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on May 15, 2022:

Maybe cheetah & shut it off.

Zealandia replies on May 18, 2022:

@Lilac-JadeCanada Very amoosing…

Not sure about my new sat nav.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on May 15, 2022:

Maybe cheetah & shut it off.

Zealandia replies on May 18, 2022:

The sat sav was clearly Lion….

I asked the waiter if my pizza would be long. He said, “No, it’ll be round.”

FrayedBear comments on May 11, 2022:

What a square! Here in Oz they just throw them at you like a frisbee whether in square or round box. Some now match the shape of the box but New Zealanders, like with their disappeared glass milk bottles, are probably wondering how that can be achieved.

Zealandia replies on May 12, 2022:

@FrayedBear Judging by earlier comments, your kiwi mate sounds like a real character. Isn’t the Sally Army looking after him now? He was way ahead of his time re the prediction of glass bottles phasing out. Presumably you remember the tyrant Rob Muldoon? He seriously considered building nuke power stations. Paperwork was secret, only discovered when he stepped down. He also triggered a constitutional crisis, you have to be pretty special to achieve that. Oz is the one intending to build nuke powered subs, that won’t be allowed into NZ waters under current legislation! NZ electricity generation is 80% renewable, Oz is 24%. I actually thought Oz would be higher than that.

I asked the waiter if my pizza would be long. He said, “No, it’ll be round.”

FrayedBear comments on May 11, 2022:

What a square! Here in Oz they just throw them at you like a frisbee whether in square or round box. Some now match the shape of the box but New Zealanders, like with their disappeared glass milk bottles, are probably wondering how that can be achieved.

Zealandia replies on May 11, 2022:

@FrayedBear More imported help moving to Oz now the borders are reopening, if the local media are to be believed. I haven’t seen milk bottles or round pizza boxes here. Checked online, can’t get milk bottles delivered in my area. Probably because it’s a peninsula and not worth the drive in and out. I tried a Domino’s five buck pizza recently for the heck of it, wasn’t very impressed. Bizarrely, Apple patented a round pizza container. I thought that they had better things to do: https://www.theverge.com/2017/5/16/15646154/apple-pizza-box-patent-come-on

Outstanding in its field.

FrayedBear comments on May 11, 2022:

Looks like the usual Australian road worker only now they have to wear day-glow uniforms & traffic has slow to at least 40 kph if not come to a stanstill so that you are forced to see them doing bugger all - even when they've gone home for the night or weekend!

Zealandia replies on May 11, 2022:

I know the feeling. Ratio seems to be one person working and two watching sometimes.

Sweet dreams with a bite.

FrayedBear comments on May 5, 2022:

Is it different to humans told to count sheep?

Zealandia replies on May 5, 2022:

We’re probably way down the list of preferred meals for sharks anyway.

I’m reading a book on the history of glue.... I can’t seem to put it down.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Apr 30, 2022:

Are any pages stuck together? Or is it just a very binding tale?

Zealandia replies on Apr 30, 2022:

Not sure, the story is a bit tacky at times though.

Toll Booths are nothing but Bill Gates.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Apr 28, 2022:

With windows!

Zealandia replies on Apr 28, 2022:

That are prone to crashing, for no known reason.

Be careful with time machines.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Apr 27, 2022:

So time got past her, did it?

Zealandia replies on Apr 27, 2022:

Yeah, she wasn’t too hot on the appliance science.

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It’s hardly ever for them.

waitingforgodo comments on Apr 23, 2022:

They love pavlova.

Zealandia replies on Apr 24, 2022:

Yep, it makes them drool.

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It’s hardly ever for them.

K9Kohle789 comments on Apr 23, 2022:

If you are sitting down eating a meal they bark to draw you away from the food and think abandoned food is up for grabs. Don't be fooled; dogs are always trying to one up you.

Zealandia replies on Apr 24, 2022:

My sister’s dog once put an entire muffin in its mouth at the dinner table when it thought no one was watching…. I saw it though and alerted my sister. At the command of “give” it returned the food.

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It’s hardly ever for them.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Apr 23, 2022:

Nosy....they want to know who is calling on their humans. Then they can tail wag approval, or growl their disapproval.

Zealandia replies on Apr 24, 2022:

@Lilac-JadeCanada Yeah, it’s a hilarious video. The dog only stops when it’s gently touched by the door.