2 Different America's

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 15, 2018:

I think its vital that we focus on commonalities & the goals we want to achieve. Everyone wants to see high paying jobs, affordable healthcare & the like. What the sticking point is...how to achieve those things. We might do well to decide on common goals & work our way backwards on how to achieve them. Once we set a groundwork of achievement & established some trust, then we can tackle stickier issues.

How do you stay grounded?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 14, 2018:

My bank account & budget won't allow anything else.

Given that we first see people... why are we offended that people don't notice our personalities?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 14, 2018:

Initially, looks is what attracts us. We're monkeys in shoes for all intents and purposes. But there needs to be "substance" to keep attraction going. Speaking only for myself, "substance" thst keeps me attracted is intelligence, wit, sense if humor, kindness, capable of taking care of themselves, drive, determination, kindness, empathy, self control....& all these things take time to reveal themselves. One normally has their best foot forward during the initial meeting & follow up encounters. As familiarity grows, so does comfort & the more personality & character are revealed.

Inquiry To All

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 14, 2018:

I have been dealing with depression for a very long time. Its never easy & I'd rather stay home with a good book than have to go out anywhere. I'm also aware that i have an addictive personallity & I cannot just let myself go. There is a hard & fast limit for my proclivities & I stick to them if & when I allow myself to indulge. My shrink is cool. I stay on my meds & everyone is relatively happy.

How do you get tasks accomplished?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 13, 2018:

I'm a list person. I write a list of tasks to accpmplish. Large tasks, like putting in raised bed gardens, get broken into smaller, incremental tasks until the project is complete. Hateful tasks get a timer. When its something I really don't like doing, I set a timer for 30 minutes & work as fas as i can to get as much done as possible within the 30 minute timeframe. Then i take a break & do a more likeable chore (like tend to chickens, pack eggs, etc) then another 30 minutes on the hateful task. Folding clothes out the dryer & putting them away instead of a clothes basket saves a lot of time too.

What's everyone doing for Tommy Jefferson's birthday today?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 13, 2018:

After sleeping most of yesterday after out patient surgery, I roasted boneless skinless chicken breasts wirh garlic, onion & black pepper, diced that up & mixed with celery & fresh green beans that had been blanched, & a ground mustard, olive oil, & fresh lemon juice "vinegrette" for lunch today.

Life and Death decision This may seem silly, but trust me, I'm going somewhere with this! If ...

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 13, 2018:

Worm food, alien food, 6 of one, 1/2 dozen oth the other.

What do you say to your son if they start gravitating toward evangelism.

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 13, 2018:

Both my sons were raised to be critical thinkers, to question, to research using reputable sites & citations & to be able to lay out a well founded arguement based on fact. They were both exposed to religion & going to church. They both became agnostics in their teens & only more skeptical as they have grown older (both now in their 30s). If they started to gravitate to religion, those would be interesting conversations.

Can you describe your boogey man or is he just plain too scarey?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 13, 2018:

My boogey man used to be being abandoned & being alone. It scared the B Jesus out of me. Then i got a healthy dose of life. I walked the hall way of a hospital for 3 days, in between work shufts because FMLA did not exist, not knowing if my 2 month old son would live or die. (Unknown virus) the doctor told me to "make arrangements". Kiddo pulled through (he's 33 yrs this year). I don't fear being abandoned, it happened already. I don't fear being alone, I'm strong enough to survive that in great comfort. I've learned not to fear but to plan ahead, to find out all I can, educate myself, & learn how to fight & win against whatever comes.

Hi, so I had a sad day.

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 13, 2018:

Think, "would mom want to live like this? Unaware & tortured in mind?" Yes, its hard, I know, from experience. But you lost your mom a while ago. Now, there is this tortured stranger driving her body. You & your sister are, in my opinion, doing the right thing & doing it together. My mother is in a very similar state. I have 2 older sisters who are "believers" & feel that our mother's suffering is "God's plan" & makes her "more Christ-like".

Do you have a motto or mantra that helps guide your day to day life and interactions with others?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 13, 2018:

In the workplace its "remember, you have a mortgage" Outside work, on my own time, its "do i really have time for this? Is it worth it?"

Is an affair always wrong????

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 13, 2018:

Have you thought about the ground rules/boundaries you want to operate within in order to date other people? Have you discussed opening up your marriage? Is your partner agreeable to you having other sex partners? If you answer "no" to any of these then yes, its wrong, in my opinion. That said, have you considered exactly what type of relationsjip you will be looking for? Friends with benefits? a strict sexual relationship? dating with intention to create a relationship? A committed secondary relationship with emotional connection to add to your existing primary relationship? There is a lot here to consiser before you even open this topic of conversation with your spouse. (Edited to correct typos. )

Could a computer create a more fair/functional society for mankind?...

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 11, 2018:

Pretty sure, as a species, humans would not be happy being tasters in a pie factory, even if you paid them. (Translation: no matter how perfect the situation, someone is not gonna be happy)

Anyone listen to Zuckerberg today?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 10, 2018:

I loved Zuckerberg's response to the question of whether he though facebook handles personal sara better than the federal government. I laughed myself silly when he said yes. Granted, its true..but still.

Yeah I made it to level 7! What happens at this level? I haven’t seen anything new

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 10, 2018:

So at what level do you get a case of Jameson & a brace of fire breathing whores?

Online dating profile specifics.

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 10, 2018:

I had a profile on a dating site & I specifically said "no 1 night stands, no FWBs, & no drinkers" . Jumpin Jesus on a pogo stick that was all I got. 1 guy said he wasn't a drinker, he was a "former alcoholic" which was a kinda red flag but he didn't come across weird & it turned out we had mutual friends. We meet for dinner h he ordered his 3rd whiskey neat to come with his entree. When I said, "I thought you didn't drink." He said, "oh i don't...not like i used to." That was the only date for him. Others ended up dirty talking by the 3rd message exchange, revealing they were just looking for a hookup. Yup. Not so much.

We humans are very complex.

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 9, 2018:

I've been in poly relationships since 1995. 1 lasted 17 years (I'm still very tight with his ex-wife & his ex girlfriend. We all lived under tbe same roof for years. He lost 3 women in 10 months because he couldn't & refused to stay on his meds). My current relationship is going on 6 years. Everyone I date knows about my other relationships up front & my partners know who I'm dating. Everyone meets. If a prospective date isn't comfortable with me being poly, he can go fish in another pond cause its not gonna work. None of us is swingers so anyone coming in thinking its an automatic orgy is gonna be grossly disappointed in more ways than 1. I recognize that i cannot be someone's end all, be all. They are going to want things sexually, mentally or emotionally that i cannot provide & I don't see why they can't turn to someone else for what they need. Yes, ground rules are negotiated & in place before the fact (example: safe, sane, consensual, use protection at all times, blood tests are a regular, no marks above the collar bone, etc) Yes, there are people who are hardwired to be monogamous. Some of us are not. Its just quirky nature. I don't expect anyone to "settle" because i definitely don't & won't.

Favorite duets?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Sausage gravy & homemade biscuits. Giblets & gravy over rice As for singing Ed Sheeran & Andrea Bocelli

Wicca Status

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Many are drawn to wicca's aspects of nature worship as a way to "live more naturally & in tune with mother earth"...foraging, planting lovely wee gardens, raising animals, gathering around a bonfire under a full moon, eating, drinking, having a good time... thats great & all but when I was a kid, that was all part if being poor & surviving & having a good time without a bunch of falderall & gobbledygook. Living country life "by the signs" is a thing. Butchering after this moon, harvesting on that moon, planting potatoes when the moon is x & tomatoes when its y. "& don't plant onions too near your taters or the taters will cry their eyes out."

What are your views on the Epicurean Paradox?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 9, 2018:

Isn't this kinda why we are "non-believers"? I'm not able to wrap myself around the idea of a "loving" god that has a scortch earth policy, an "only" god who is jealous of other gods that don't exist, a god that gives humankind "freewill" only to damn everyone who doesn't believe to an eternity of torment, not to mention a god who "has a plan" but lets innocent children suffer & die.

What is your favorite place to eat that is not fast food?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 8, 2018:

Fast food is a total no go for me due to recent diagnosis of gluten issues. Fave restayrants are J kogi - Korean street food joint, Fresca - a vegetarian/vegan restaurant, a few sit down sushi joints & a few local Indian restaurants.

I'm suddenly amazed realizing the foods I hated as a child .

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 7, 2018:

My dad was a decent cook but everything was cooked to death & loaded with grease. My mother would fuck up the recipe for ice. The foods from my childhood either got left behind or got a recipe makeover. & now that i have to avoid gluten, even more have been left behind.

Ever get songs in your head that are there for months.

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 7, 2018:

Lol. Thats my ring tone for my every other weekend guy.

You give an inch .

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 7, 2018:

My mother is the cruise director on my guilt trip. A card & postage is my salvation on thst front.

Do you think the guy should always make the first step and why?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 7, 2018:

I don't think that way & have been known to make the first move. Usually asking if he'd like to go for coffee, lunch, something of thst nature. I also normally don't recognize when a guy is flirting with me. I just figure he's being nice unless he makes his interest blatantly apparent.

Do you think the world would be a better or worse place if everyone suddenly could read each ...

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 7, 2018:

Nope. My thoughts are a run of scathing commentary & 4 to 12 letter profanities. I'm pretty sure that I could not stop myself from thinking my son's girlfriend is a selfish, entitled, overly spoiled little cunt when she's yammering on about trivial bullshit. If she could read my mind, i'm sure she'd have an apoplectic, hissy fit. Yeah, not a good idea. I have enough trouble controling my expressions as is.

Whats on your mind when having sex?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 7, 2018:

Alternates betweeen executing my devious & sensual plan to have my partner make certain sounds/statements during a rousing bout of slap & tickle and enjoying the sensations of being on the recieving end of my partner's equally well thought out plan...& trying to remember to use my words & not chi strikes when overly stimulated.

Spreading The Word!

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 7, 2018:

I put a bumper sticker on my car that said, "sorry I missed church. I was busy practising witchcraft & becoming a lesbian." My mother wouldn't let me park in her driveway.

What's a nice and natural way of opening a conversation?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 7, 2018:

Well, some form of "hello" is a good start. If they are a stranger, (and I do hope you took time to see if they are wearing a wedding band before approaching) tell them you found them attractive, striking,etc and felt compelled to come over and introduce yourself. If they are someone you've met before, tell them you find them attractive, striking, etc & would like to get to know them better. Be sure to have topics of conversation/questions in mind. Nothing is worse, in my opinion, than being approached by someone & then they can't carry a conversation in a tin bucket & I have gotten beyond the point, in this life, of being polite & trying to carry the conversation for both of us. (This is the reason I like to set up initial meetings in book shops with coffee. If they don't like books/aren't "a reader" we are not going to get along. If they are, topics of convo will leap off the shelf.)

Serious Post.

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 5, 2018:

Check out net nanny. Also, there are gadgets that can be added (hardware) to lock down internet when adukts are not around.

How do you do on this test?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 5, 2018:

$180. Too bad dropping acid & going to church isn't on there. What would that be worth?

Did you floss this morning?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 5, 2018:

Yup. Carry floss every where I go. I have floss stashed everywhere....with toothbrush & paste. (I wore braces as a kid. Can't stand something twixt my teeth.)

Here is an old saying .

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 5, 2018:

I'm with Stephan Frye on this on. Why would i want to believe in such a mean, capricious, hateful, uncaring, malevolent creature who makes sure Osteen has a mansion & Creflo Dollar gets his plane but God allows children to die horrifically of cancer, starvation & in wars. "Worship & love only me, put me first in everything & I will give you eternal life in a beautiful place but ignore me & I will torture you forever. Oh wait, John Wayne Gacy gave his life to me & asked for forgiveness just before he died so he's saved. This person who's never heard of me died. Yup sinner...going to hell." Fuck that. (Edited to correct typos)

After a stressful day, what do you do to relax at home?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 5, 2018:

I go to the gym & do a hard work out. Leave all the stress & anger & aggression on the weight bench & elliptical trainer. Feel gobs better leaving the gym wet with sweat. Of course a rousing bit of slap & tickle, a "grudge f*ck" in the common vernacular works too....if you happen to have a FWB handy....which I do not (there's an application).

So recently my girlfriend passed away.

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 5, 2018:

You have my sincere condolences. Your loss makes that type of reality tv buffoonery just that much more irritating. To watch someone purposefully prey on people who are grieving a loss & are looking for a shred of hope or closure or assurance is galling. & when she just walks up to a random person & starts fishing for a reaction.. I swear, (colloquialism follows) I'd pay cash money to see her roll up on the wrong one on the wrong day & get her ass wore like a hat.

Hi friends.

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 5, 2018:

Oh honey, here, I got this. If you don't want to stand up & say you aren't interested in attending & you prefer to keep your "spiritual life" a private matter for fear of retribution, retailiation or negative backlash to your career path.... Day of event, you are swamped. Desk piled high, dead line looming, omg you are probably gonna have to stay lat...there is just no way you could possibly tear yourself away... Or (depending on your sick leave policy) Go in stating you are not feeling well (if you wear make up, skip blush that day to look peaky/pallid). You can than say you just do not feel up to attending such an event, then excuse yourself & hurry to the ladies room...or call out sick. If this is standard behavior in your workplace & the expectation is that you conform to the religious standard, you may want to either start documenting issue/time/place/what was said and or done/who witnessed that from work email to private for date/time stamp & gear up for a fight or start looking for another position. (Been there, done that.)

For all you partners and co-inhabitants out there; [theatlantic.com]

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 5, 2018:

We follow a "wash as you go" rule. Its the sight of the accumulation of all those grubby dishes that is so daunting. & who doesn't get a bit perturbed when the dishwasher is empty & no one bothers to put dirty dishes in it & instead will drop them in the sink for someone else?

How do you feel about people who just want to put people down, whether it's in opinions or ...

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 5, 2018:

I have commented on posts, voicing my opinion on the topic, without personal attack or name calling because, its about a topic, stick to facts & in cases where i speak to my own experience, I reference exactly that. Some topics are hot button issues &, in my opinion its takes on an imperative to maintain focus on the topic & choose words carefully, while still making the point, which does not includes throwing personal shade at the OP. (Edited because I left out 2 words...) That said, in responding to hot topic posts, the OP may have emotional investment in the topic or, because of being attacked by others, may feel all responses that are not lock step with their idea constitutes a personal attack. In those case i review my response because I have a type of dyslexia which skews my comprehension of written word (edit above & below) & I can inadvertantly leave things out even after reviewing multi times before posting. If i wasn't clear, i apologize & offer clarity. If I was clear & what i've written is misconstrued, experience has taught me to keep it moving, no response other than "you're right" will be good enough to the OP & i have too much real life stuff going on to concern myself with "overly butt hurt random internet fuck # 239".

How would you react?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 4, 2018:

I would definitely voice my opinion on this & your husband needs to speak up too. I have 4 grandkids & if either of their parents say no , whether its an outing, event, food stuff, whatever, I follow those rules because.... I do not want to undermine their authority as a parent with their children & I want to be welcomed into their homes & lives as a support, not a bone of contention.

We have a new sandwich

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 4, 2018:

Is that german bologna & fake cheese or pressed ham?

Does this bother you?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 4, 2018:

The majority of my customer interactions are over the phone & are seldom pleasant. I investigate 'unauthorized usage' of a public utility, identity theft & the like. I am in Virginia, & work in a rather religious part of said state. When i've caught someone dead to rights, it can get ugly fast with me being cussed out & called (& this is a colloquialism) everything but a child of god. If they are foaming at the mouth pissed off & profane, I always end the call with "& you have a blessed day" just to twist the proverbial knife.

Would you love to hate or hate to love ? The two are so close yet so far apart which is you ?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 4, 2018:

Hate is not the opposite of love. Hate is still an emotional investment where you care if the person is happy or miserable or if they live or die. The opposite of love is apathy...where you truly don't care & where this person does not cross your mind unless they are brought up by others or you randomly stumble over something that sparks remembrance.

How would you describe your sexual appetite as you have grown older.

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 4, 2018:

I have always been adventurous. That hasn't change as I've aged. As for urgency...desire is great, waiting whets the appetite. As for kink...its only kinky the first time, then its a "yes", a "take it or leave it", or a "no"/hard limit issue (some things do not have to be actually experienced to be a hard limit/no.)

Going to spend the rest of this week with my ex. Is it the best thing for my heart?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 4, 2018:

I will tell you the same thing I told my sons 20 years ago: Relationships are like milk. If you pour a glass & take a drink & taste that its gone sour, you don't put it back in the fridge thinking it will be better in a couple of months. You broke up for a reason. Yes, its hard to be alone but its better to be alone & happy than miserable with someone you know can't commit & you live in fear they will bolt at any minute. Move on. Work on yourself. Reflect on what qualties you desire in your next partner. Learn how to salsa. Go to poetry slams. Find a new hobby. Become an advocate for something you are truly passionate about. If its meant to be, let him be the one to come back then you can make your decision.

This is what I'm battling right now trying to explain to people my body doesn't work the way it ...

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 4, 2018:

Every single day ?

Now level 7 yea! Actually don't care, but I am the guy that wears atheist t shirts whenever I go to ...

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 3, 2018:

Congrats. Does this mean you get points to spend, new spells, & extra dice to your dice pool? ?

Personally, I'm against abortion but I know there are instances where it is a medical necessity.

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 2, 2018:

Personally, I'm against other people sticking their noses into &/or legislating my reproductive rights. If birth control were as cheap & readily available as viagra, with the same "you go get em" attitude, the "stigma" associated with using the pill would be highly diminished. Then, there's Plan B...that you have to ask for...from behind the counter...& show id...& sign for...a pharmaceutical walk of shame if you will. & abortion as birth control....do not get me started on that fallacy perpetuated by the "moral majority". I should have had a hysterectomy in my mid 30s due to fibroids, endometriosis & debilitating effects of my menses but due to insurance regs & religion in medicine, I got to wait till my mid 40s, used a control method that gave me osteopenia at 40 & had periods lasting over 30 days. I'm not a fan of random group agreement on My medical needs.

What character traits indicate someone is a "good" person?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 1, 2018:

I look for answers to the following: how do they treat animals, wait staff & cashiers, & people who can do absolutely nothing for them, like small children? How do they speak of the homeless, mentally ill or mentally challenged, those in dire economic straits not of their own doing? How do they give back to the community/society? Or do they? Do they read? What books are on their bookshelf/in their e reader or audio library? (If they say they aren't readers/have no books....run away.) Are they able to have a political or religious discussion with someone on the opposite side of the debate without becoming angry, shouting or it devolving into a lot of name calling & physical threats. Are they good to their word? Do they lie about things that don't matter?

Even though I have become an agnostic atheist I still feel pulled in by Pantheism, seeing a God just...

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 1, 2018:

I think the things that I miss most is the "community" (people connected & local) & the ritual. Ritual is comforting & gives a sense of balance (think about when your timing in tbe morning is a little off & the mental/emotional impact that has). Of course you add a protection facet that says if you have enough faith & believe, a big, all powerful, magical being will look after you & make it ok, gives you a sense of assurance in a crazy world.

Does anyone still balance their checking account?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 1, 2018:

I keep track of what goes in & out, what hits & when & a running tally on my balance as things come & go. Checkbook, no but definitely keep a registry.

How do you feel about the person you're dating talking about their ex?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 1, 2018:

Exs are going to come up on conversation as in, "when i went to over there with my ex, ...." or "i realized giving up things i want to do just because my ex wasnt into it is not good for a relationship." Now if its nothing more than a "my ex bitchfest" yeah, not so much.

Gastric Bypass surgery vs natural weight loss?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 1, 2018:

I resolved a health issue back in July 2017 which has allowed me to start to lose weight. Add in nutrition/diet changes & exercise, I'm down 40 lbs. Some people I work with who were/are morbidly obese have been getting the surgery & I've been getting a lot of judgmental comments about how I'm losing weight "the right way". I know a couple of people took the surgery as a lazy way out. The majority got the surgery because health issues caused by excessive weight outweighed the risk of the surgery & they seem to be doing well. I try to encourage them, ask questions on nutritional education, exercise & such & suggest using a lot of the extra benefits we have for health & nutritional counseling, the discounted gym membership, etc. I try to encourage them & offer my support to them. I think one of the missing components in most failed weight loss endeavours is a truly invested support group helping & encouraging in one's weight loss efforts. I know i would not be doing as well as I am if i did not have the support I do. I know for a couple of people, their doctor had them go to nutritional counseling & meet with a physical therapist/trainer & they had to lose a certain amount of weight before the doctor would consent to do the surgery. I'm not sure but isn't that the norm?

Gastric Bypass surgery vs natural weight loss?

SallyInStitches comments on Apr 1, 2018:

I resolved a health issue back in July 2017 which has allowed me to start to lose weight. Add in nutrition/diet changes & exercise, I'm down 40 lbs. Some people I work with who were/are morbidly obese have been getting the surgery & I've been getting a lot of judgmental comments about how I'm losing weight "the right way". I know a couple of people took the surgery as a lazy way out. The majority got the surgery because health issues caused by excessive weight outweighed the risk of the surgery & they seem to be doing well. I try to encourage them, ask questions on nutritional education, exercise & such & suggest using a lot of the extra benefits we have for health & nutritional counseling, the discounted gym membership, etc. I try to encourage them & offer my support to them. I think one of the missing components in most failed weight loss endeavours is a truly invested support group helping & encouraging in one's weight loss efforts. I know i would not be doing as well as I am if i did not have the support I do. I know for a couple of people, their doctor had them go to nutritional counseling & meet with a physical therapist/trainer & they had to lose a certain amount of weight before the doctor would consent to do the surgery. I'm not sure but isn't that the norm?

Have you ever looked back on something did and wondered how you survived?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 31, 2018:

Ages 18 to 23 years. Lucky.

What was your best experience with drugs or alcohol? Your worst experience?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 31, 2018:

Best experience: as a teen, dropping blotter & going to Sunday Night Sing Along at church. Worst experience: 1500 miles from home & my then pos drunk off his ass now ex husband came home & beat me senseless, broke my jaw kicking me with steel toed boots (glancing blow, otherwise he'd have killed me). Neighbors stopped him by busting the door down. I was 19. I still have a crooked smile due to slight nerve damage.

What's your favourite building?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 31, 2018:

Old city hall in Richmond, Va, USA. My parents were married there 2 Feb, 1949. It now belongs to Virginia Commonwealth University.

Would you dare to have sex in a church?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 29, 2018:

Done it. Add a confessional to the bucket list. Those are fun when the service is going on.

What's your favorite insult?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 29, 2018:

I worked in a cell phone provider call center as a supervisor. I got the escalated calls from people upset that we had disconnected service for non-payment. After being harangued for 15+ minutes, I tended to not really care what i said as long as my tone was polite & professional. When accused of disconnecting service as a racist act, I had to explain we had no demographic info on file & no way to know her race, but a color was invoved. It was green & we had not seen enough of that from her. Another woman went on a tangent, repeatedly call me a bitch then asked "do you know you're a bitch?" I told her yes, i was aware & had been aware for many years but that did not change the fact a payment was due. No real point in becoming invested in someone else's drama.

Does cutting roses make a rose bush produce more?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 29, 2018:

If its a rambler rose, it should not be cut back hard. It does need support to run on, like a fence or trellis. If its a bush type, they should ve pruned in the fall.

People that won't take no for an answer

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 29, 2018:

Yup. Back in the lare 90's a coworker kept asking me out. No was said politely & firmly, the polite, firm & clear & finally, I just looked him dead in the eye & said, "I'm not sure how I can say no without be rude so since you have ignored no & polite downs, let me be blunt, if you were my only option for a date, I'd become a full fledged lesbian. I have a girlfriend. She bought a bigger dick than you can ever grow. I'm not interested in you. Do we need to get management & HR involved?" & that was the end of that.

Jehovah's Witness was canvassing the neighborhood yesterday.

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 28, 2018:

There are a few things: Tell them we only discuss religion in the bathtub naked, invite them in & start to disrobe. Tell them they have come at a bad time, you are prepping for a ritual & its your turn to pick up the sacrificial goat & say in a most reverent tone "hail satan". Tell them you're a witch & always wondered about why they are involved in such an intricate death cult then start asking why they shun blood magick. Those 3 have them fleeing...we've been put on a do not convert list.

What's the biggest benefit to dating you?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 28, 2018:

To answer this question, a story is required. I'm in a poly relationship. We are at our friends' prenuptial celebration & adult libations are flowing & I, for once, had drank freely & was feeling my liquor when i walked over to my boyfriend who was talking to a guy i didn't know. Bill introduces us & Guy says: "so this is your girlfriend" Bill "yes" Guy: "& thats your wife." Pointing across room. Bill "yup" Guy: " so i know what she does (pointing at wife) but (& in a snarky voice, points at me) what does she do?" Me; (before Bill could answer) "I cook like a 3 star Michelin chef & fuck like a porn star. What do you do?" Bill lost his shit laughing, Guy was struck speechless, wife thought it was hysterical & i remembered why I stopped drinking. So, biggest benefit of dating me....I have a twisted sense of humor, I'm a damn fine cook & I guess i do fuck like a porn star....just with a lot of discernment & discretion of partners.

I find myself using the expression, “Thank God!” in a pretty regular manner.

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 28, 2018:

I use a lot of "god" language too but i am sure that it can't be misconstrued as a religious cry for deliverance to a higher power. Can't really see my independent, fundamental, quiver full, so-baptist-people-think-she's-catholic, uterus like a clown car sister dropping f bombs as an opening adjective to Jeses' name or popping off in exasperation with "jumping jesus on a pogo stick". The tamest i get is when i mutter "jesus, mary & joseph....W.T everlovin F?" Pretty sure anyone who overhears it knows I don't darken church doors. & I really can't see me hollering "OH YES VOID DON'T STOP" in the middle of hot, sweaty, circus sex when my first language involves the invocation of "god" in a variety of ways to communicate a wide range of emotional responses.

Making whites white again.

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 28, 2018:

White, distilled vinegar is touted for removing yellowing from whites. It has a standardized acid level that cider vinegar doesn't, hence its use for pickling & preserving. A soak in hot water with vinegar, then a wash with blueing may do the trick if the item is made with natural fibers. If there is a nylon/poly fiber mix, it may not work as the man made fibers may be the culprit of the yellow tint (their base color may be yellow).

Q: What is your favorite starch/complex carb

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 28, 2018:

I had to go gluten free & gf bread & pasta leaves a lot to be desired, especially when you made your own. Quinoa is my go to grain just for its overall versatility. & with it being early spring, asparagus is a fave right now too.

Are you a jealous person ?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 28, 2018:

From my experience, i only feel "jealousy" when i don't get what i need from a relationship. Since no one is a mind reader, if I'm feeling jealous then I need to speak up & communicate my needs. If this person either can't meet that need, ignores my need, or can't understand my need & the whys, its my responsibility to decide whether or not this need is make or break. Do i need to 1) communicate more effectively, 2) reconcile my need won't or can't be met 3) determine if this is a relationship i can stay in or trade in for something different. If the person i'm with decides the grass is greener elsewhere & I'm not worth negotiating with regarding an open relationship, I just remember this: he may not value me but someone else very well may. Its better to be alone & happy than together & miserable.

‪Professor Marston and the Wonder Women...‬‪ Have you seen it?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 28, 2018:

Haven't seen it but spent 17 years as part of a triad. They can be wonderful things. Many hands make light work & you aren't alone, always someone to turn to. They can also, from what I've seen, be a real sh*t show, a "2 against 1" or "monkey in the middle"scenario.

You're on a long flight next to a believer who wants to talk deeply about their faith/proselytize.

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 27, 2018:

I tell them i like mythology though i tend to stick with Greek/Roman, & Norse mythos. Then i go into all the virgin births, gods hung on trees/sacrifices, resurrection stories, the similarities between christianity & egyptian mysticism...once they start getting pissed off, I smile, asked them to forgive me & spend the rest of the trip reading with my earbuds in.

For the mature members out there, a question.

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 27, 2018:

I have no qualms stating what i enjoy sexually &, to be honest, its a wee bit silly, not to mention frustrating, to have someone fumbling about, giving it the old college try & failing miserably at everything but pissing me off. This is my safe word, don't ever do that, these are all hard limits, i like x, y & z, if you ever ignore my safe word...I am vindictive & have skills you do not want to see.

Worst date?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 27, 2018:

Many years ago (20) Met online, chatted (good conversation), traded pics (nothing remotely risque'), met for dinner & a movie. His pic was at least 10 years old & a good 90 pounds lighter. He couldnt carry in-person conversation in a tin bucket. He asked which movie i wanted to see (action movie) then bought tickets for a chick flick ?. We go in & he tries to hold my hand...felt like a glove stuffed full of warm oatmeal...& damp. I exited to the ladies room & went home.

How important is physical attraction?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 27, 2018:

Dated a guy i found attractive. He was nice enough, & interesting, but he was very busy & did not have time or energy to devote to a relationship. We went out a couple of times & the 3rd date he kissed me. It was the literal kiss of death for that relationship. No spark, zero chemistry, for both of us. The end.

Is there better men on here after you get higher points.

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 27, 2018:

I'm kinda diggin the guys on here. For the most part they are smart, funny, witty, engaging, interesting. No one has sent me a dick pic (bonus), or a sleezy "hey baby i want to do this to you" email. Responses & posts strike me as, for the most part, thoughtful, insightful, & looking for actual dialogue/conversation. I could kevetch that no one has attempted to strike up personal conversation but, lets be honest, its just as easy for me to do that &/or make the first move if someone strikes my fancy.

Have you ever been attracted to someone who you're not normally attracted to?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 27, 2018:

Yes. They were funny & kind, highly intelligent & very attractive. It definitely went somewhere.

Why do women on dating sites want someone that can make them laugh?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 27, 2018:

A guy has to have a sense of humor & be able to laugh at himself & the absurdity of life. Its an important quality to have.

Is chivalry dead?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 26, 2018:

I'd like to think the classic ideal of chivalry has given way to common courtesy & kindness. I've held doors for men & women, given up my seat on public transport to the elderly & hugely pregnant. If I'm on a date & dressed to the 9s in high heels, having a hand to help me out of the vehicle or an arm to hold over rough pavement is logical & much appreciated but in all honesty, not expected when i'm sporting tennis shoes & jeans.

What was the most embarrassing moment in your life?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 26, 2018:

I was in my 20s...it involved blue raspberry edible body paint that could be used as lube, a forgotten ob-gyn appointment, a substitute doctor old enough to have delivered Methuselah....it looked like I'd been assassinating smurfs with my cooter....I changed doctors.

Have you dated someone YEARS younger or older?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 25, 2018:

I tend to date younger guys...guys my age aren't interested because I'm "too busy" & "just go all the time" & if i'm going to be sitting around, not doing much of nothing, a fishing pole better be involved. My current boyfriend is 20 years younger, & i was dating a guy 11 years younger but that went the way of the wind. Just because I'm someone's grandma does not mean I have to hang up my hiking boots for orthopaedic flats & exchange my corset & garter belt for an apron.

So what do you do when is time for a group prayer at work or dinner table?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 25, 2018:

I absent myself, if at all possible, from "grace" time. If its an opening/closing prayer, I do not bow my head or close my eyes. & if anyone sees me, they aren't going to say anything...they weren't praying either. & if they do say something, they risk the sharp side of my tongue.

Who would you be in a post-apocalyptic society?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 25, 2018:

I'd be "the hearth witch". Cooking, preserving, storing, growing, keeper of the larder & trying to keep folks healthy with a bunch of "voodoo brews" as my sons call herbal teas (helped their coughs, sore throats & aches). Amazing what you can do with a cat skinner. I was raised on a farm so hunting, fishing, farming, raising chickens, rabbits & hogs (& butchering same) & foraging were all part of daily life. Those would be important skills in a post apic world.

Are you a romantic?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 25, 2018:

Yeah, for all the good it does me.

Has anyone met someone in person here?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 25, 2018:

Not yet, but Hope springs eternal...& hold hands with Sarcasm & Reality...(statistically, at my age, I have a better chance of getting killed in a plane crash than finding a mate...& I don't fly). ?

What do you do with the hours between midnight and 2 am when sleep is elusive ?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 24, 2018:

There are otber people in my house so I try not to go into common areas, otherwise, I'd be doing laundry, cleaning, etc. I usually go soak in a hot bath & read a book & let the water elevate my body temperature. Once out of bath, I go to bed in the all together & as my body temperature falls, finding sleep becomes easier.

Schedules

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 24, 2018:

I work M-F 730am - 4pm. My commute is an hour, 1 way. Then I have gym which is 45 to 90 minutes, depending on what day it is & I strive for 5 days per week in the gym. Once home its tend my chickens, take care of my elderly dog, clean & pack eggs, household chores, pack lunch, lay out work clothes, pack my gym bag, get cleaned up & go to bed, usually around 9pm weekdays, to be up at 5 to do all over again. Here's the thing, I will totally find time to carve out of my schedule to get to know someone as long as he doesn't come off as needing to be the center of attention and makes demands of my time unreasonably.

Do humans have a innate affinity for drugs & is this natural behaviour for humans?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 23, 2018:

It falls under the "action/reward" brain stimulous from what i understand. That brain gratification phenom that we get from good wine, fine liquor, increfible chocolate, hot sex, or drugs. It feels good & our brain goes "thats nice, want more, crave more" & so the cycle begins. Until the negative impacts of behavior outweigh the gratification/crave factor, humans will indulge. Lets be honest, we're monkeys in shoes with a superiority complex...its only the "ew factor" that keeps us from flinging our feces at other people we detest...hence the verbal/written "shyte talk" for which some folks are famous.

Your thoughts on this: I would like to start a 'campaign' to change "In God We Trust" to "E ...

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 23, 2018:

There is a marker that is use to show its a genuine bill which leaves a black mark, usually on $50 &$100 denominations....no rule on where you mark...just sayin.

How to explain what an atheist is to children?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 23, 2018:

Unless they bring it up, its a non-issue. Its not like you're bringing around your same sex partner. Check w/ the parents & see what they say. If the kids invite you to church, decline politely. If they ask you if you've heard about god, say tes, you know those stories & change the subject. Until they try to pin you down, its a non-issue. When they make the move to pin you down, be honest, forthright, & just tell them you don't believe & if you need to, the why.

My girlfriend and I are planting a food forest.

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 23, 2018:

I'm in Virginia. I have apple & pear trees & I raise chickens. I'm working to build raised gardens to have more uniformed growing areas. I plan on growing the standard "garden fare". I forage for poke sallet, cresses, & dandelion greens. Looking to take classes to forage & identify mushrooms.

Does anyone have any ideas on what I could grow in pots for extended periods of time?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 21, 2018:

Depends on space. Windowsills are good herb space for chive, badil, time, etc. Rosemary, once established, is more like a shrub & can be trimmed...like bonsai. If you have a patio or balcony, tomatoes would need a large pot but they can do very well.

Islam is an all encompassing life view, a theocracy.

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 21, 2018:

Since there is no example given of what is said, its rather difficult to give an answer to your question. If the statement is patently false or is an actual racist statement/name calling, I'm gonna call you on your bullshit, whether its about muslims, immigrants, race or gender, etc. With the logic in your post, the question could be turned, asking why does the right lose their collective minds when christians & christianity is criticized & want to cloak themselves as martyrs while screaming "religious persecution"?

I couldn't find one, so I've created a group for Autoimmune Disorders and Rare Disorders.

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 20, 2018:

I don't have the disposable income nor the patience & fortitude to argue with my insurance company to get a diagnosus of celiacs so after 18 months & $2000 out of pocket, they can tell me the 3 issues I don't have (diabetes, issues with cortisol, adrenal fatigue). But, if eating gluten free makes me feel better, thats great. So, I get to be "1 of those people" who avoids gluten like the plague but i try not to be "1 of those people" demanding others bend over backwards to accommodate my eating (good thing I love to cook). They still don't know why commercial beef makes me violently ill & laid out for 3 days.

Being dyslexic can be funny but also difficult for some folks to take seriously.

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 19, 2018:

My parents were told I didn't apply myself, tjat I was lazy, stubborn, obstinate & acting out of disrespect. I had to write sentences as punishment, was grounded & generally had to work myself silly to make As & Bs. I had 5 subject notebooks dedicated to a single subject, taki g my own notes & using class notes & handouts. I was in college before I was tested. It exhibits in anything that requires a formula (maths, science, & diagramming in English). Once i knew what it was, I could get more help with it & focus on areas of strength.

If you could improve one of the following areas of your life: Love, Social Network, Career and Sense...

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 18, 2018:

I am working on my social networking. Its hard for me to make connections because i tend to be quiet & cautious until i get to know someone because I don't want to hurt feelings with my twisted sense of humor or sarcasm. I also know that the 'getting to know you' aspect of socializing usually has that 'best foot forward' thing going on. Its not until people become comfortable that the real personality becomes exposed & I do not suffer fools lightly. Imagine my initial shock, then anger when this person i was getting to know voiced their "sorrow" for my "situation" with my "mixed" 3 yr old grandson (his mother is Punjabi). I smiled & said, "I'm shocked you noticed. Most people don't recognize me as black but then again, we don't make it a big deal since my dad being white & marrying a black woman could have gotten them both lynched in 1949." She just stared, mumbled something about work & walked away. I tend to have a small circle of friends & keep most others in the acquaintance category until i'm sure they aren't a waste of time & flesh.

What are your pet peeve markers you look for on a first date?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 18, 2018:

Are they on time? How do they treat wait staff, cashiers, etc? Hygiene, good or not? Manners? Body language (are they physically closing off or open, eye contact, fiddling, overly attached to electronics, smile actually genuine or just the polite "how much longer" smile)? Does the real person compare to written communication/photos? Had a guy who treated wait staff like crap, no 2nd date there. Had another guy say he did not drink, was a "former alcoholic" & proceeded to have his 3rd bourbon with his entree saying, "this is nothing. I used to be really bad". No 2nd date there either.

Ladies I have question for you. What do you think about facial hair?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 17, 2018:

Depends on whether or not a guy looks good bald, bearsed, etc. I know, based on my age, skin tone, facial shape that I cannot pull off a teal colored, shoulder length bob. Not happening. I'd broaden & squash my facial appearance & look jaundiced. That said, I'd much rather see a guy bald than with a comb over or a bad tupee or holding on to those last 6 strands of hair way dow their back of what used to be a mullet (party is over, call it). As for mutton chops...not a fan.

Favorite quote

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 16, 2018:

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. Winston chuchill

Okay so I post quite openly on social media.

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 16, 2018:

Wonder what her view is on Muslims, democrats, homosexuals, etc. In my experience, xtians paint everyone else with a pretty broad brush but when it comes to them as an individual person or church, its all " I'm/we're not like "them"/that. We're "real xtians".

Are You Dominant Or Submissive?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 16, 2018:

Sexually, I am a natural switch. I'm not hardwired either way. That said , I do not submit to anyone I do not know & trust completely & I am not a trusting person. Outside of the bedroom, I tend not to think of behavior in terms of dominant or submissive but acting out of respect, deference or social contract based on position, age &/or situation.

Public speaking/performing. Terrifying or fun? I'm all ears!!

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 15, 2018:

I don't like to be in the spotlight but there are times that its required in my current profession (court representations, presenting to directors, auditors, training classes). I am comfortable doing so as long as I am prepared. Spur-of-the-moment presentations are hateful to me & I have no qualms asking questions & making it clear in correct instances that their lack of foresight does not constitute my emergency. In actual emergency fill-in situations, no problem.

If you're not married, would you marry again?

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 13, 2018:

I married young, it didnt last long. Never did it again. Came close, dodged that bullet. Now I just happily wallow in sin as my uber religious sister calls it.

This is a question for those who have had strong feelings for another but could never get those ...

SallyInStitches comments on Mar 13, 2018:

After a particularly nasty breakup of a 17 year relationship, I took time off from finding a relationship to focus on myself, to figure out what makes me feel happy, as an individual, & to work on learning to be happy alone. I worked on improving myself, finding hobbies I enjoy, took dance classes, made new friends & generally just took it easy on myself. I've dated, made new friends, have a very stable relationship (but I only see him every other weekend....)& my tolerance for buffoonery, passive-aggressive behavior, & other things I do not value in someone I'm dating has greatly diminished & I don't waste time on the wrong people. learn your value & worth.