This guy ends up in prison. First day and he is in a cell with 2 other guys. After the hellos etc. the two guys start to talk to each other. ! St guy says " 27 " 2nd guy laughs. Second guy says " 73 " 1st guy laughs. Well the newbie is obviously puzzled by this and asks whats going on? " It`s like this " one on the inmates explains. " We have been in here so long that we know all of each others jokes. So now we call out the numbers of them instead. "
So the newbie says " So if I say 52 that would get a laugh? "
" Not the way you tell it " says the 1st guy.
About a week later when he has really settled in the newbie tries " 288 "
They both throw their shoes at him
" Whats wrong with it this time? " says newbie and the others answer in unison
" Its two gross "
7
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1 comment
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Have you not gone decimal over there yet?
FrayedBear
Level 9
Mar 13, 2018
3
Kinda schizo Money and building is metric. Roads and beer is imperial.
A joiner goes to a timber yard and asks " How much is your 4x2? "
The guy says " Your cant call it 4x2 now. Its all metric. So you should have said, how much is your 100x50 "
" Okay how much is your 100x50?
" 30 bob per foot "
@273kelvin Reminds me of the Lancashire lad looking in the pastry shop window in Oldham. They have a delicious confectionery in the shop window. He goes in and asks "How much is a slice of that gattux in the winderr"
Shopgirl " That's not gattux sir, that's gatto and it's £3.50 a slice".
"Bollo, to that!" Replies our Lanky lad.
@FrayedBear The same Lancashire lad goes into a jewlers and says " Me dogs just died. Can thee make us a statue of it? "
" Of course sir. Would you like it eighteen carrot? "
" No, I wants it aitin a bone "
@273kelvin ROFL
@273kelvin Ahh, the Lancashire royal "we" - I still get stick from using it!
@FrayedBear I went to a hardware shop in Wigan and asked for some Turps The guy asked " Does thee want audio turps or video turps? "
@273kelvin Wigan still that behind the times? Even down here they are throwing DVDs out - turps wheee! Took me a while to get into the accent/ spelling to understand. ?
@FrayedBear Okay how about the ladies in an Blackburn zumba class. When the instructor said " Now ladies hands on thighs " They all did an impression of the first of the 3 monkeys
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