Larry Adler the great harmonica player who exiled himself to the the UK. (your loss our gain) Told this wonderful joke ;
A guy goes to audition for an orchestra. He sees the orchestra manager but the manager says " We have no openings. " Undaunted he picks up a violin and plays like Paganini but the manager says " We have no openings. " Next he goes to the piano and the guy is like Lizt, still " We have no openings. " The guy then proceeds to play every instrument in the orchestra in turn, each time like a virtuoso Still the reply is the same " Sorry you sound great but we have no openings at the moment. " In desperation the guy grabs the manager by the lapels, his face red with rage and his words spitting into managers face screams " Give me a fucking break you waste of good oxygen. You wouldnt know decent music if it plopped out out of your rancid arsehole! " To which the manager exclaims " Ah thats different, now we can always use a good conductor "