Mysterious Swarms of 6-Foot Drones Causing Anxiety in Colorado

Mysterious nighttime visitations from of huge swarms of 6-foot drones that appear to be running very deliberate search patterns and to which the US Army and the Air Force deny belongs to them - are leaving residents of northeastern Colorado confused and a bit frightened.

Now my first guess is, Amazon’s prime services were prevented from completing their one-day delivery promise because of what turned out to be a bogus street address - so a pissed off Jeff Bezos sent out the Amazon Air Force to investigate just what the hell’s going on. Meanwhile, local authorities tried to calm residents fears, by pointing out that the drones “don’t seem to appear threatening.”

Really? Well then, just what exactly would these drones need to do before authorities feel they “appear threatening?” Wear leather jackets with gold wallet chains, smoke unfiltered Camel cigarettes, shout insults and obscenities and hurl empty beer cans down from the sky?

For heaven’s sake, how long before authorities get it into their thick skulls that the good citizens of Colorado don’t want a bunch of “punk drone gangs” hanging out in their neighborhoods?

[johnnyrobishcomedy.com]