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Have you ever wondered why Donald tRump buys his shoes and socks from England and not America?
It is because British made footwear ALWAYS has the letters T.G.I.F, (Toes Go In First) printed in huge letters on them.

Triphid 9 July 3
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0

You're assuming he knows how to read...

idunno36 Level 4 July 21, 2020
2

Aussie humour. Dont you love it. Here is another :- A British man is visiting Australia. The customs agent asks him, “Do you have a criminal record?” The British man replies, “I didn’t think you needed one to get into Australia anymore.”

Moravian Level 8 July 7, 2020

We've lowered those restrictions a little over the last hundred years and now they ONLY apply to the English Nobilty and those from the Upper and Middle Classes, 'Commoners and the like are quite welcome here.
Sarcasm most defintely intended btw.

@Triphid Each country has it's national stereotype, the brash American, The Englishman abroad who speaks loudly and slowly in English and expects to be understood, the drunken Scot ,the Aussie with a chip on their shoulder. You do occasionally meet them.
I met an Aussie couple last year who were on a house exchange holiday in the village. She talked incessantly and he hardly spoke. She started going on about "the ten pound poms" as if they were a lower form of life which annoyed me a bit as I have family who emigrated on the assisted passage scheme and my cousin has recently been given some national award, something like an Aussie MBE for his service to the community.
So I said " I take it your family go much further back then. As far as Botany Bay?. This stopped her talking, for about two seconds.
She is probably back home now talking about her holiday and the crap weather,the warm beer, the unfriendly locals,
I later found out that the exchange was with a retired church minister here and done through the church. Figures

@Moravian We love the Scots, the Irish (Paddies), the 'Taffies' (Welsh), in fact most nationalities including the 'lower class Pommies' as well, it's in our nature I suppose but those stuck-up self-righteous, Upper and Middle Class, Pommies, Egocentric Texan Seppos and the Aussies who deny their 'Convict heritage' out-right really get up our noses big time.
Yeah my paternal line here comes from a relative, long dead now, who was shipped here in chains as a 13 year old for the "dashed audacity" of poaching a mangy rabbit to help feed his hungry family from the Estate of a British Lord.
Plus 2 Uncles who served in WWII both with the Brits in Africa, one at Tobruk and later in Europe, the other at Kokoda and in the islands with, in his words, " those bloody useless Seppos."
Both of them got S.F.A. for their sacrifices btw.
Me, I'm bloody proud that I had a 'convict' ancestor and 2 Uncles who fought in WWII.

@Triphid A fascinating story. I remember a BBC TV drama set in a penal colony on the coast of Australia in the early days. I don't know how accurate it was but they were brutal times.
I think the ANSAC troops were used in a similar way to the Scottish regiments in the empires wars.
They were fearless fighters so they were put at the forefront of any offence so the casualties were
much higher.
In WW1 and 2 the % of soldiers killed that were from Scottish regiments was far higher than from English regiments. Visit any village in the highlands and there is a war memorial with a huge list of names.
I recently read "birds without wings" by Louis de Bernieres. He writes about the Gallipoli battle but from the Turkish viewpoint and how one morning they awoke and the allied troops, mostly ANSAC soldiers had gone.
Thousands were killed on both sides in a futile battle for a useless piece of land.
One of the many shameful episodes in the history of the British Empire.

@Moravian Yep, it was the ANZAC who actually devised a way to evacute everyone from Gallipoli though, as usual, the Pommie Commanders laid claim to devising it, falsely.
Australia and New Zealand lost countless sons, fathers, brothers and husbands at the Gallipoli Debacle/Massacre and even more still on the battlefields of France as well.

@Triphid Australia had over 500 killed in the Vietnam war. The Poms can't be blamed for that.
I admire our then PM, Harold Wilson, for resting great US pressure to join then in their military adventure.
A pity Tony Blair didn't have the guts to do the same in Iraq.

Aussie humour. Dont you love it. Here is another :- A British man is visiting Australia. The customs agent asks him, “Do you have a criminal record?” The British man replies, “I didn’t think you needed one to get into Australia anymore.”
OK, if that's typical Aussie humo💔r I should probably pack up and move there!
Here's one I like (from Woody Allen): I'm not afraid of dying. I just don't want to be there when it happens...

1

Stops you from getting Mixamytoesies

273kelvin Level 8 July 4, 2020

Funny you should mention that disease, though incorrectly spelled I might add, since it WAS you lot that brought Rabbits, Foxes and Goats to Australia in the first place, let them ALL go feral and now WE have to contend with them and the damages, etc, that they cause.

@Triphid Yes know all about the stupid introduction of alien species OZ but the word was deliberately misspelt. Mix-a-my- toe-sies (getit)

@273kelvin Yeah I got it, but,imo, somewhat a very droll attempt at humour.
Oh, and I forgot earlier to thank you for all of those land-grabbing Upper Class 'Squatters' you exported into Australia as well.

@Triphid Hey don't look at me cobber. My ancestors were only a "being caught" away from being yours. 🙂

2

He can Put On His Shoes ?????

GEGR Level 7 July 4, 2020

Good question.

Well once he started buying English made shoes, etc, with the instructions, etc, it became to first and only personal acheivement of his entire life, imo.

1

this one gets the painful groan

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