TomMcGiverin's Profile

Is it okay to pretend to love someone if you're up front about it?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 14, 2019:

Reminds me of the Clintons sham of a marriage a bit. Could never believe that Hillary actually forgave and still loved Bill after all the humiliation he put her thru. No doubt she stayed married to him and they both faked their continued marriage all for her political ambition and their shared hunger for power..... And understand that my contempt for the Clintons, as well as all corporatist pols, is not because I am a conservative, which I am not, but because I am a socialist who hates all pols that are phony and serve the status quo.

More sad evidence for mysogyny in the Land of the Unfree.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 14, 2019:

Makes sense to me. Women sure don't do mass shootings that I've ever heard about even tho there are many women who own guns, enjoy shooting, and even have military training with guns. Maybe they just don't have the same level of hatred towards others that these men have and are also not as sexually frustrated. The other piece of the puzzle may be that women do not have the same sense of entitlement as white men, who do almost all the mass shootings, seem to have. Therefore, less rage when they do not get their way in love, jobs, etc..

I am hurt and angry.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 14, 2019:

Good looking people attract more interest and people, both of the good and healthy kind as well as the bad and unhealthy. I wish I had your amount of interest in me from others, but I am grateful I have not had your kind of problems with dating. I wish I could understand better or be more empathetic, but I can't and won't pretend that I can. As one of my mentors on here says, it goes both ways. I wish I could understand how people with lots of interest from others think, but I honestly don't. Too bad having your shit together and wanting only one person is not enough these days to get interest from others and find love. I remember being younger and finding that it was often enough back then, but it sure as hell isn't enough now. Wish you the best, Marianne and that I could help....

Hey guys what do say when you meet someone in person from online dating and you are not physically ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 14, 2019:

LL- Thank you for as least asking the ? and thus showing you are more kind and considerate than most people in online dating, who would just take the easy way and ghost. Like skado said below, there is no easy answer. You could do what I do in those rare situations where someone is more interested in me than I am in them and do this: Send them a short message thanking them sincerely for meeting you and point out something positive about them so they feel some encouragement about being dateable in general, but also make it clear that you do not feel they are a match for you and that you are moving on. If they bother to ask your reason or reasons for not wanting to continue to see them or have contact, which is very rare in my experience that someone would ask, I will tell them the blunt truth, since they are an adult and by asking they are implying they are able to handle the truth, so that's what I will give them. On the face of it, asking the reasons why someone is rejecting you may seem to make no sense or be useless, but, having been on both ends of the rejection situation in online dating, it does make some sense in that otherwise the rejected have no real data or info to understand why they are experiencing so much rejection, a common experience in online dating, and it also helps give the rejected more of a realistic idea who they have a chance with in online dating and who they don't. Which, trust me, can be helpful in such in an otherwise impersonal, mysterious process as online dating is anyway. With so much rejection and ignoring that average looking and most people in online dating experience, some honest feedback can be very valuable and useful, esp. if it concerns something the rejected party might be able to do something about, like hygiene, attitude, what they said or shared that was inappropriate etc..

"Are You Pretty Enough For Him?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 14, 2019:

I just ran across a profile on Our Time of a woman from my town that had no pics of her, just two of her dog in the backyard and one of a plate of food. Someone this clueless is not even worth bothering to message and tell her to include some pics of herself.

More gangster cats

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 14, 2019:

Still makes me think of a Tarantino movie, Reservoir Cats........

I wonder how many Woodstock attendees saved those stubs?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 14, 2019:

My late wife didn't, but she had pics that prove she was there.

DC MD VA peeps. Happy hour get together posted in our group.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 14, 2019:

Wish something like that could happen in the Des Moines area on here, but we don't even have the critical mass to try it.

Joe Biden, speaking in Iowa, says 'poor kids' are 'just as talented as white kids'

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 13, 2019:

Ah, Uncle Joe, the darling of the Clinton, DLC, Dem establishment leaders who care more about stopping Bernie than winning the next prez election. He will probably be their nominee and, just like Hillary, will be a sure loser in 2020 against Trump. You heard it here first. He is just as out of touch and apathetic about average people as Hillary, just less smooth......

"Are You Pretty Enough For Him?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 12, 2019:

Objective beauty, as he defines it, is a real issue that does matter a lot to both men and women. The proof of that is which sort of people on dating sites get their messages read, much less replied to. If your pics are not attractive enough, people will swipe away or reject you on that initial fact, no matter what you say in your message or in your profile essay. Having said that, we have had many discussions already on these boards on the concept of leagues and classes of looks, so I will not repeat all of that here, except to tie it to this video by saying that some if not much of the frustration of online dating is the fact that most, if not all, of us, are trying much of the time to date out of our league or class of looks by pursuing people who are too good-looking for us, based on objective beauty. So we get rejected by them because we are below their level of objective beauty. I had a dating and relationship coach take a look at my dating activity on Match and I asked her if I appeared to be trying to date too much out of my league in who I was messaging, etc. She said I was trying to do that some of the time, but not often enough for her to be concerned about it or for it to be that unusual compared to most people. She said that the point is that when you pursue people outside of your level of looks you can never expect a reply, because you will almost never get one. Perceived beauty, as he defines it, will only come into play with online dating after you have already met the other person's standards for objective beauty, which means it will never have a chance unless your photos are already impressive or your beholder has very low or loose standards of objective beauty, both very rare these days. Very few people who shine or have great in person charisma to compensate for their lack of objective beauty will get that chance with online dating. Those people are better off putting their energy and focus into meeting people IRL and dating organically instead of online.

At current rates a federal reserve board study shows that the top 10% will own 100% of the wealth in...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 12, 2019:

In less than 33 years, the US will look like a Mad Max movie and I will be dead, hopefully......

When Black Panthers Carried Guns, Conservatives Supported Gun Control [buzzfeednews.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 12, 2019:

I was alive back then too. The issue of who, as far as racial groups, were allowed to carry guns and own them has always been about who should hold the real power in the society. Nowadays tho, poor whites are deluded enough to think that owning and carrying guns gives them real power in this society when the clear truth is that real power these days in America is about being wealthy, not having guns.

Curious what men here think when a woman describes herself as “about average” on a dating site ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 11, 2019:

I have been on Match for almost two years and the vast majority of female profiles my age describe themselves as " About Average" in the body type category they choose for themselves. I have gotten to the point that I will not bother messaging the woman if she does not include a full body shot photo of herself in the profile pics, because I will not just take someone's word about their body type, nor should they take my word about my body type. We all know damn well that body type matters to almost all people on dating sites, be they male or female. Too bad some will not admit that harsh truth. BTW, you forgot two other options that I believe are still in the Match list of body type categories, namely Curvy and Big And Beautiful, the latter being a euphanism for the most part, at least in my book......As far as your argument about "average" meaning about 10-20 lbs over the medical ideal, that weight is about average body type in my mind, but, as I said, I long ago quit assuming that body type came with the use of that term on dating sites.....

What to do?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 11, 2019:

Bernie got played last time when he accepted the compromise with the party leaders and Hillary supporters to let the party continue to have superdelegates and not let them vote until the second ballot at the convention. He should have known that the party establishment would be ready for him in four years and rig things with a large, diluted field of candidates so that no one candidate would win on the first ballot and thus the superdelegates would once again be able to nominate another corrupt, corporatist centrist like Biden on the second ballot, which is probably what will happen unless Bernie and Warren join forces to unite their supporters and win on the first ballot. Most of the superdelegates are already elected officials and they have no shame. Harassing them will not get them to change their votes for the nominee, altho it might make you feel better.

Got my T shirt and pen!

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 11, 2019:

Considering how recently you joined, you made level 8 in record time...

Had a nice day with my new girlfriend, Renzie, up at Lake George on a brunch cruise.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 11, 2019:

Friendships are very crucial, esp. if you are not close with family, as is my case. What is consistently disappointing is that same sex friendships are hard to find among single men my age. I have tried to become friends with other single men I have met thru Meetup groups and a couple singles groups, but with no luck. These guys just don't seem motivated or interested in making any male friends, they are totally focused on finding a woman to date and seem to consider male friends to be a distraction or waste of their time, even tho we both could use the support, friendship, and encouragement of another friend who is going thru the dating struggles too like them. My one recent friend happens to be married and very socially active. Go figure. But even tho he is encouraging about my dating efforts, he doesn't have any patience or interest in hearing about my negative experiences with it. For that, I have to rely on other friends or vent about it here, where, also, the tolerance is often very limited in what people are willing to hear.

Honey, where is the cat?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 10, 2019:

Reminds me of the neighbor cat I knew years ago that was smart enough to know how to hide behind trees from humans.

Only atheists.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 10, 2019:

Living in San Fran, you should have tons of non-believing men to choose from, unlike us folks here in flyover land. The stats are definitely on your side in that locale.......

Jeffrey Epstein, accused sex trafficker, is dead by suicide, found in his Manhattan jail cell

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 10, 2019:

The house of cards was just preserved by this convenient death, what do you mean Paula? His death covers it all up for the guilty members of his sex ring.

Jeffrey Epstein dies while in DOJ supervised prison, shortly after being taken off suicide watch.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 10, 2019:

Either way, it's no surprise. This was like Jack Ruby and Oswald after the JFK assassination. There was no way he was going to be allowed to rat out all the VIPS that he stood to get a deal for testifying against concerning his sex ring. If he didn't kill himself, he was going to be whacked anyway and he undoubtedly knew that.

Well, here I am single again....

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 10, 2019:

Sometimes you can't save a drowning person because they don't seem to even want to try to survive or just don't have it in them to survive any longer. Sounds like you did as much as possible for her. Time to save yourself and not let her pull you under. Like, LL, I am curious if it's someone from this site, so I can stay clear of her myself.

The Fugs I could not get high! A over the top band of dubious merit! Still love their ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 10, 2019:

Beat all hell out of Afroman's " Because I got high"....

On a positive note.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 10, 2019:

I am exactly who I say I am on here, for better or worse. Too bad there is no one local to date from Agnostic. Still feel fairly alone on this site.

Arlo Guthrie - Alice's Restaurant 1967 [m.youtube.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 10, 2019:

So many times in my life, living here in Iowa, I have experienced what Arlo's character does in the song where the draft board tells him, " Kid, we don't like your kind.....".

Shadow doing his tech support "Have you tried turning it on and off again?"

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 9, 2019:

Looks like a hip kitty to me....

‘Straight Pride’ Leader Slips Up Pleading Case To City Council

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 9, 2019:

Very funny. Some shit is so strange you just can't make up anything funnier or weirder than that.....I'm sure that will have a long life on You-Tube....

Iowa Religious Extremist Who Burned Library Books Faces The Law [au.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 9, 2019:

His attitude is not surprising as he lives in the western part of Iowa, a cultural wasteland and backwater, as far as this Iowan is concerned. There are no universities there, almost everyone is conservative, white, and religious, and Steve King represents them in congress, a man who is openly as racist as Trump. What does surprise me, since Orange City has a college that is conservative Christian, is that some brave souls organized a Pride event. That part is encouraging. About the only liveable parts of Iowa are in the central and eastern parts of the state where there are some universities which attract educated, diverse, and tolerant people. The rest of the state outside the larger cities are mostly filled with rubes, hicks, and other ignorant, narrow-minded types that are best to avoid at all costs....

[thoughtcatalog.com] 40 questions single women are tired of hearing. Do you ask any of them?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 8, 2019:

The only one I have ever asked, if any, is some variation on how long have you been single/widowed/divorced, and only to get some idea how long they have been on their own, how settled into being on their own they are, etc. I would only ask this of someone I met from a dating site, otherwise it is none of my business. I also agree with the short list of platitudes at the end of the article, all of which I get sick of seeing used here on Agnostic way too much of the time: Don't worry. The right one is out there. Your right one will come along as soon as you quit looking, etc. All of which are magical thinking and empty platitudes. The reality is that being alone when you prefer to be coupled sucks and others who tell you different are trying to make themselves more comfortable with you or get you to stifle your unhappiness about your situation.

Mass shootings. Perhaps it's a societal issue like obesity and religion?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 6, 2019:

Nobody but the police or military need automatic weapons or ones that can easily be converted to automatic weapons. If you have so little trust in your police and military to think that they will be against you should the government decide to impose martial law and become a dictatorship, then you have bigger problems than you will be able to solve with just a large group of preppers, rednecks, and conspiracy nuts armed to the teeth, but too disorganized to beat the combined forces of the police and military who will be much better organized and with integrated communication systems. I can only hope in that case that the grunts in the police and military will stand down and side with the common people as they did at the end of the Soviet Republics in the 80s.

Janis Joplin Big Brother and the Holding Company - Piece of my heart [m.youtube.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 5, 2019:

It's really annoying here in central Iowa that most women, both my age and younger, only know of Janis from two songs, mainly from her glorified country song, Me And Bobby McGee by Kris Kristofferson, which was a big hit for her even tho it's nothing like her real music (but here in country music land everybody has heard that one and usually likes it best) and then the cover of this song by country singer Faith Hill, which sounds very little like Janis's sound. Man I get sick of how country music dominates the culture here, but I'm too old, tired, and weak to want to move and start over on my own. I tell the women who sing the Faith Hill cover of this or Bobby McGee to please do me a favor and try singing a real Janis song sometime instead of these two lame songs that Janis is connected to, since the songbooks usually also have Get It While You Can, Down On Me, Cry Baby and Try Just A Little Bit Harder, and Little Girl Blue, in other words real Janis songs with soul.

Shirt is slightly altered...(just like me!). Advertising slut.😂

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 27, 2019:

Thanks for promoting the site Marianne. You make a good Vanna....

Well, Ladies, who wants to take Bachata lessons with moi?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 26, 2019:

A straight man who can dance is so far ahead of the game with most women who love to dance that he can be below average looks and still get lots of interest from attractive women. So many of said women are tired of dancing with gay men or else straight men who are full of themselves.

I just told my friend I think I am the runaway bride of dating!

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 26, 2019:

May well be true. You seem to attract quality men compared to the rest of what's out there, but maybe deep down you don't want to be coupled with anyone. Something to ask someone more qualified than me, like an experienced therapist. Like Deiter said, wish I was as spoiled with good choices as you seem to be.....

The Horrors of Jeffrey Epstein’s Private Island | Vanity Fair

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 26, 2019:

Sometimes the only justice in this life comes only in vigilante or revenge style. If the father or mother of one of those girls ever catches up to him and blows him away, I wish I could be on their jury to nullify any murder charges against them.......

A few suggestions for the guys on dating sites: First, post a picture of YOU and not some actor.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 25, 2019:

Like Sticks says all the time, it goes both ways (with both genders) when it comes to being deceitful and being shallow in online dating or dating in general. Having this debate over and over with each gender defending their fellow gender members becomes really old and tiresome. Let's all be honest enough to just admit that for once and quit waging gender wars on here.

Alaska is Far Out ! Anybody travilin' up this way is welcome to look me up.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 25, 2019:

I leave Sun. on a cruise from Seattle to AK, but it only goes as far north as Juneau, so I won't see you.

Does Uncle Sam Exist?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 25, 2019:

I don't give a damn, fit that into your poll......

With all kinds of room on the bed to curl up and nap, of course Chloe chooses the newly laundered ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 25, 2019:

Cats target the warmest spot in the room better than a heat-seeking missile.....

Gangster cats:

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 24, 2019:

Reservior cats, from Quentin Tarantino, coming soon to the big screen........

friends are important...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 24, 2019:

Yes and no. While making platonic friends thru a paid dating site like Match happens all the time and there is nothing wrong with that, I recently had an experience with Match what makes me beg to differ on all the happy talk of collateral friendship from dating sites. I met a woman for coffee after trading a bunch of long messages with her and much sharing of personal info. On paper we looked to be very compatible, which she even admitted later after rejecting me by a message the day after we met in person.She also admitted that, unlike me, she had never felt any physical attraction for me based on my pics but still decided to meet me in person because even tho she said that she felt it was pretty unlikely or completely unlikely that she would feel attraction for me after meeting me, she thought I seemed compatible enough to possibly be good friendzone material, so she wanted to meet me for that reason. As I told her in my reply to her rejection message, her attitude about meeting with a man from a dating site after giving him reason to think she was open to and likely interested in seeing if there might be more than friendship, with all the long, friendly, enthusiastic messages, is very patronizing, at least in my book. To have this secret agenda of interviewing and auditioning a guy for solely a friendzone relationship while giving him reason to think that a romantic relationship is actually on the table if very selfish, arrogant and patronizing to the guy. And I told her so. I said guys and women too, for the most part, do not join paid dating sites for the main purpose of making platonic friends and her private agenda was insulting and hurtful, at least to me. This is why, as I told her I do in my online dating, that if I see a woman's pics and don't feel any attraction, I don't message them. If they message me, I reply and simply say I'm not interested. I don't think it's right to play games like she did and lead people onto thinking they have a chance to be more than friendzone when it's already been decided in advance by the other person. Doing that is cruel and selfish. I told her to shove her strategy for finding male friends and maybe join a Meetup group that is not centered around dating to meet platonic men, that way nobody is mislead.

Sweet photos of elderly couples in love [huffpost.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 23, 2019:

Further proof that even in old age you can still look beautiful and still be loveable, at least to your devoted partner.

Ooooh, that's how it works.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 23, 2019:

That's because Repubs love all tax breaks and would like to eliminate all taxes if they could on the upper classes. The are also somewhat bigger warmongers than Dems. That's how they create deficits...

One of ours, tired of being teased with the laser pointer:

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 23, 2019:

Feline assassin, I figured they existed.....

The conservative scare in our country may be self limiting.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 23, 2019:

I hope you're right, but I'm not counting on it.

Back from the third date. Meh. Oh well. Happens sometimes.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 23, 2019:

So am I understanding you right that you gave him three dates to see if he was right and are now dropping him? If so, that sounds fair. After three I usually know, at least on my end, if I am all in, physically attracted, and comfortable with the person to want to invest seeing them regularly or not at all romantically.

Munchie was being annoying, as per usual, so my husband shut him out of the office.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 22, 2019:

Kitty looks like he's trying to squeeze under the door and might make it thru....

My date for tonight had to reschedule because some family stuff came up.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 22, 2019:

I can relate. I try to move on and not bring up past feelings about being stood up in the past when I am meeting someone new, but at the same time, you never forget the feelings from past stand ups. It happened to me twice in a four month period in the first half of this year with online dating.

I guess even the seemingly perfect relationship is really wrought with problems.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 22, 2019:

Sounds right up there with falling in love with an alien from a spaceship. That woman is nuts.....

Why can't cigarettes just go extinct already?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 22, 2019:

I'm kind of apathetic to their continued use. Their life, their choice, not my problem. Ever since Iowa passed its Clean Air Act 11 years, ago, I've been able to enjoy smoke free bars and restuarants so I could finally go sing karaoke and go hear live music without a ton of secondhand smoke. The right side won for once, then it was no longer affecting me.

Missed opportunity.....

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 22, 2019:

Sounds like my luck, but I won't lose sleep over it. JWs are too batshit crazy to be compatible with me.....

Agnostic radio Station?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 22, 2019:

The idea of this reminds me a lot of the story of Air America, an experiment in lefty talk radio to counter all the right wing talk radio in the US. It ultimately failed to stay in business, altho MSNBC ended up being a similar format with TV, tho no one should have any illusions that MSNBC, owned by General Electric, is not just as pro-corporate as the right wing talk stations and is also the network that fired Phil Donahue and cancelled his show for opposing the Iraq War as well as doing that to Ed Shultz for wanting to cover Bernie Sanders more during the last prez cycle. There is also Free Speech TV on cable and satellite TV that does have more genuine lefty content, such as Democracy Now! I am annoyed by NPR and won't listen to its talk shows because, despite it common rep as being liberal, it is liberal only on cultural issues, but not at all on inequality, war, or corporate greed and misconduct. And no wonder because of how in the last couple decades NPR started taking all that corporate money, just like the Dem party began doing in the late 80s, in the form of corporate "underwriting" or advertising on programs. Both groups lost their souls over that. Nowadays, NPR is a lot of smug, PC programming for the comfortable and well-educated, at least their talk shows, and I just can't stomach that or feel comfortable with it. The only programming I listen to at all on my local public radio station are Marketplace and a few music shows that are produced in my state that have alternative, indie and blues music featured as well as classic rock because their content is so much better than the crap that is now left on commercial, non-satellite radio for the masses.

I am so not looking forward to Saturday I have to go to my sister's Memorial I'm finally at the age ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 22, 2019:

Same here. All the relatives of my parent's generation are gone. It's depressing to know that my generation is next.

The power of Christ compels you!! [youtu.be]

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 21, 2019:

Or, as Richard Pryor said in the SNL sketch of The Exorcist II, " The bed is on the floor, the bed is on the floor, the bed is on my foot!...."

This is a post in response to another thread where someone was accused of being an ableist for ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 21, 2019:

I agree with you viewpoint on this. Like Deiter said, we all reject people for dating all the time for all kinds of reasons that have nothing to do with bigotry or being illegally discriminatory. I have never personally been accused of being a bigot or unfairlly discriminatory for rejecting someone for dating, altho I suppose I could have been for rejecting someone for being too overweight, too plain looking in their face, too poor, too unintelligent, too thin, etc. If anything, I am probably too much or overly tolerant in being open-minded towards dating someone who is religious, but not strongly so.

Man tries to guilt me into meeting him 2,000 miles away.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 21, 2019:

I make no secret of my unwillingness to date LD as well as the reasons why not. I guess I should be grateful that I am undateable or unattractive enough that nobody LD has ever tried to push me into meeting them LD, lol....

I had a date yesterday with a guy I was talking to on okc back in April.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 21, 2019:

Good for you. I had a pretty disappointing one yesterday. After trading several long positive messages with her over a few days, we met for coffee and talked for over two hours. She seemed very excited to see me when we met and thru most of the conversation, but I could see her expression change in the final half hour or so. Then, when we walked outside to our cars she kept her distance and remarked about my Bernie sticker on my car and how I needed to vote for whoever the Dem candidate is to get rid of Trump. I told her there is a lot of time left until then to see if the nominee is not Biden or Mayor Pete, so that way I could honestly support the nominee instead of holding my nose and voting. She said she would have to message me some more before deciding to meet again. This morning she sent the expected rejection note and kept it very short, impersonal and vague. " Didn't feel the same chemistry or connection. I 'm looking for something different". I was really disappointed but not surprised as she majored in poli sci in college, her father is a poli sci prof and politics is very important to her, as it is to me. She ended up being like someone strongly religious is with all of us, unwilling to agree to disagree. But there were probably another reason or two. I sent her a reply asking her to be more specific and honest, but we'll see if I get that. It sucks that this woman was otherwise, on paper, the first really compatible one I had found on Match in two years that didn't have any of the usual dealbreakers that I keep talking about hitting in these forums, plus she was cute, at least to me. So it goes.....I have some of my hope back, but it's still frustrating. So close, but so far....... Update: She replied back with a longer, more specific list of reasons she rejected me and claimed that our political diff was not a factor. Sorry I may have assumed wrong and mislead you all. I don't agree with most of her criticisms she made in her long reply, but I won't repeat them here either. Carry on. I have another woman interested in meeting for coffee after I get back from my Alaska singles cruise trip that has traded a few messages with me from Our Time and we'll see how that goes in early Aug..

Remind me...Never bite that wire again!!!!

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 21, 2019:

Curiosity shocked the cat, better than being killed, I guess....

What number R U ???

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 21, 2019:

I'm usually 4 or 8.

The universe provides such sweet opportunity! I was just in line at the grocery store with a young ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 21, 2019:

Wish I met women like you in the grocery store....

This sums it up, right here.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 21, 2019:

Twisted, I wish you weren't so hard on yourself. I saw that you took yourself off the dating option in your profile, but I think you are a cool person and attractive outside too. If you lived in my area and wanted to meet, I would in a heartbeat. So give yourself some credit.

Keeping it short; not to bore you.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 20, 2019:

Reminds me of something I told my late wife a long time ago after we would watch the X-Files together. I told her that just like Mulder told Scully in an espisode, that she was " my human credential". Those who know the show will get it.

Two people walking in opposite directions, heads down, scrolling on their cell phones, walk smack ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 20, 2019:

I own only a tracphone, not a smartphone, and I only use it when I am away from my home landline. I can self entertain with my own thoughts if I am away from home without company or else bring a book to read while I wait on something or need to kill time.

Evidently they made the musical "Cats" into a movie. Here's the trailer. [youtu.be]

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 20, 2019:

So who is that playing Grisibella and singing Memory? I'm guessing it's Idris, right? The cast is certainly interesting, but I'll pass on seeing it. The trailer sure looks surreal...

The Cats Trailer Looks Great, You Weirdos

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 20, 2019:

Actually, the song you are referring to, the only hit song from the show, is called Memory and yes, it is simple and repetitive, but when performed well it is really touching and beautiful, even if the song has become a cliche with all the times it's performed at talent shows and elementary school music concerts.

Evidently they made the musical "Cats" into a movie. Here's the trailer. [youtu.be]

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 20, 2019:

I was really impressed with the costumes of the original productions of Cats, as well as how well the actors moved and danced like cats.

The Cats Trailer Looks Great, You Weirdos

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 20, 2019:

I am by no means a hater of Cats, but I will pass on seeing this movie version. I am fine with holding to my own memory of seeing it here in Iowa a long time ago with a national tour of it and my dvd recording of it from PBS of a Broadway production of it. I can only assume the film version will not hold up to the older stage versions of it.

Josh and Shannon Harris separation: The author of abstinence book I Kissed Dating Goodbye is ending ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 20, 2019:

I view the goings on of Fundy Christians, even the celeb ones, with sort of a detached take like an anthropologist of watching a primitive tribe. What a strange bunch they are. I really don't care enough to want to make sense of what they do in their private lives.....

Big game hunter killed when shot elephant collapsed on top of him

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 19, 2019:

Poetic justice or karma in action. Bravo...Appears the female elephant outsmarted the douchebag.....

The real midlife crisis confronting many Americans

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 19, 2019:

Describes my last decade to a large degree. I was childfree by choice, so I dodged that obligation, but I married a much older woman who got dementia from inherited genetics and was caring for her for several years, but not that involved with looking after my parents because my father was pretty self sufficient until about a year or so ago and he looked after my mother after her stroke at the start of the decade, with help from my younger sister. Now that all three of them are dead, both parents and my late wife, I have a lot less stress in my life, but I have my own health challenges with age and such. Glad I am financially secure enough that money is no worry unless I have a stroke sometime and need long term care. Otherwise, I am going to travel and try to enjoy myself as long as I can since I have no one to look after or stress about now except myself.

What do you think the world be like with out religion?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 19, 2019:

Probably calmer and more peaceful, but I could well be wrong about that.......

I like what this little guy is saying lol

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 19, 2019:

The cat appears to be highly intelligent, more so than most voters, and is keenly aware of both those facts regarding Trump and God. It does know however, the reliable times that food appears each day.

Why do people resent having a christian witness to them?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 19, 2019:

Yup, building solidarity within the group and group loyalty.

They can sense brain death...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 19, 2019:

Forget about brain death. A lot of chronic Fox News viewers make me wonder if they ever had a brain to begin with........

I wish to share a piece I wrote some time ago to describe my relationship with my second wife, Pat:...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 19, 2019:

Resonates with me too and reminds me of my marriage to my late wife. I hope I get to experience something like that again, but if not I am grateful for what we had before she got dementia. It's more than lots of divorced couples ever get to experience.How long ago did she die?

This always made sense to me: “Being a Humanist means trying to behave decently without ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 19, 2019:

Sounds like the best def I've ever heard of it. Kurt was the man. I still miss him..

Off to Stainsby Folk Festival for the weekend.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 19, 2019:

Sounds fun. I like folk music too. Where the hell is Stainsby?

1. How many are on this site looking for a companion?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 19, 2019:

I came here looking for women to date and quickly learned that is useless for my age group and area. As someone else said, the pickings of compatible women in my area on here is even thinner than on Match, where I've been for two years and will stay with besides here. There are a good number of compatible women on here, but they all live hundreds or more miles away. Yes, I am financially able to date LD or relocate but I won't do it for reasons I have spelled out ad nauseum on here. Emotional drain and risk. Needing my local friends too much. Already moved too much in this decade. Too emotionally tired from losing both parents and my late wife's dementia followed by her death. I will stay here to live or die, even tho with age, like you say FJ, the dating pool shrinks to a puddle in my area esp. with age and my being so far out of the mainstream culture and lifestyle here. And the bitch of it is, that few women on Agnostic would move to Iowa anyway to be with me, between the weather and the backward culture of even the Des Moines area, where I live, compared to where they already live, and I don't blame them. Every woman from here that I have got to know that would be compatible to date has told me they would never move to Iowa. As to your last paragraph, I too feel too old to start over or move and family life is everything to the vast majority of women on Match here in Iowa, so very few will want a non-family-oriented Agnostic hipster like me without children. Also the vast majority of women on Match my age all have kids and almost all of them, as well as almost all of the women who don't have kids, want only family men with kids. Very different dating pool than what I'm told they're like on the coasts or on here.

Wanted to gather advice on the following dilemma: I have a problem with men and their facial hair...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 18, 2019:

I've never really liked the way I look with facial hair, so I've almost never kept it on me. I have been clean shaven in my photos and most of the time I go out socially but it doesn't seem to help on dating sites for me. You appear to be a small minority of women in the dating scene, just like me. Welcome to the freaking club.....I think that a common reason that men who are in their 30s or older do the facial hair is to compensate, distract, or balance out their look after they begin balding or become bald. To me, that looks stupid, but it seems to be popular and common, so, what do I know?

New Jersey judge who showed leniency to rape suspect from "good family" resigns

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 18, 2019:

Big surprise. American justice has always had different standards for people based on their race, class and level of money. Can't understand why anybody acts shocked anymore, but it is still wrong....

If you dont' like America, Why don't you just leave?....

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 18, 2019:

Good rebuttal. Also, we have the right to stay and fight for improving things. Just because someone supports the status quo does not make them right or entitle them to the final word or say on things. The Native Americans can testify to how that sometimes works out with people that want to change things sometimes getting their way.

There's all kinds of ways to love...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 18, 2019:

My attitude is this "Early on learn about their past to see if they are compatible and a risk worth taking in investing myself in a relationship with them. After gathering enough data to decide that I'm all in, then learn about their past to understand how they need to be loved". Ronnie Raygun, who I despised but at least had this right, said, " Trust, but verify"..

Some not so bright atheists (even when they call themselves "brights" - a sad example of collective...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 18, 2019:

Just another example of one group of bigoted, mentally ill people projecting onto and bashing another group of similar people. Kind of like The Taliban and America's Repub party.

Meet Max Lynx, the educational animal ambassador who takes a moment to get some good scratchin’ ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 18, 2019:

So cute and fluffy....

Date Bar Burnout

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 18, 2019:

Make whatever you want. They should just be grateful to have any treats that taste better than cardboard, but then again, my standards are low when it comes to free food.....

Keep people in your life😊

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 18, 2019:

That's my motto and how I've been living since a was a young adult, including dumping family when they become more toxic than positive.

Meeting/A Negative Experience

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 18, 2019:

Didn't vote as I am not qualified, have never met anybody from here in person. I traded PMs with a couple people, one man, one woman, about meeting them for a drink or coffee and both ghosted me once I suggested concrete plans for doing that. Asked the woman to coffee, the guy said he wanted a beer together, even tho I don't drink. Got a feeling a dodged one with each of them, but I know that will sound like sour grapes. You might add an option for those like me who've never met anyone, just to get a tally of them.

A Little baby lizard found his way into my house.