zeuser's Profile

Trumpsmellydumpitis? Just a suggestion.

annewimsey500 comments on May 23, 2024:

Spock!!!!! Step back and disinfect your hands, ASAP!

zeuser replies on May 23, 2024:

Scrub off those Klingons!

dementia seems to be a Trump trait

zeuser comments on May 23, 2024:

Steal everything you can, get outta there, shut the fuck up. Good strategy, seems to be working for her and Saudi sucking hubby. 😡

zeuser replies on May 23, 2024:

@pamagain I'm not wrong. LOL

Plunging into the pun job.

michelle666gar comments on May 22, 2024:

Pinhead!!!! Great horror movie!!!

zeuser replies on May 23, 2024:

Anything with that many wieners can be a little intimidating at the very least!

Plunging into the pun job.

silverotter11 comments on May 22, 2024:

FUN set! Giggles and groans and my first cup of coffee - perfect morning.

zeuser replies on May 22, 2024:

That's what I like to hear!

Plunging into the pun job.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 22, 2024:

Lady truer words were never spoken....

zeuser replies on May 22, 2024:

Everybody needs a reason. LOL

Plunging into the pun job.

Betty comments on May 22, 2024:

What! You didn't like my wiener head? 🤣 Great set, Z. Groans and chuckles all round. Thank you. :)

zeuser replies on May 22, 2024:

I shoot for one, settle for the other. You're welcome!

Plunging into the pun job.

glennlab comments on May 22, 2024:

Nailed the storm trooper.

zeuser replies on May 22, 2024:

Always just a bit off.

Yes, he really said it!

zeuser comments on May 21, 2024:

The easiest lies are the ones you tell yourself.

zeuser replies on May 21, 2024:

@silverotter11 Make the lie a big one. Like my dad used to say, if you're gonna steal something don't steal an ink pen, steal a million dollars.

Now you, you watch me not care..

glennlab comments on May 21, 2024:

More Bacon

zeuser replies on May 21, 2024:

You are the bacon king, mon ami! 🥓

Now you, you watch me not care..

Betty comments on May 21, 2024:

Oh no, not the bacon!!! 😂 Thanks for the chuckles, Z. :)

zeuser replies on May 21, 2024:

You're welcome!

Now you, you watch me not care..

PaddyO comments on May 21, 2024:

Thanks for the humor. I think it may have fired some of my serotonin receptors!

zeuser replies on May 21, 2024:

Fantastic!

Now you, you watch me not care..

EricJones comments on May 21, 2024:

Prince charmings chances with snow white are gonna be zero if he uses that alarm clock.

zeuser replies on May 21, 2024:

Yeah, but no "me too" moment either.

Baked treat made from dill dough.

silverotter11 comments on May 21, 2024:

Highly amusing set Z! Dibranches, lololololol

zeuser replies on May 21, 2024:

That's what's in the picture, after all! LOL Thanks hon.

The prosecution has rested.....

pamagain comments on May 20, 2024:

"The cheese stands alone....."

zeuser replies on May 21, 2024:

Same color as Velveeta, fake cheese..

Turns out Alito is a big Phillies fan. This guy ain't havin' it.

PaddyO comments on May 21, 2024:

The conservative judges are infesting our democracy with there own beliefs. That not only needs to stop, some of the government supporting religious organizations also needs to end. No tax breaks for the superstious. Tired as hell of these con men ripping people off. Apparently the rubes are ...

zeuser replies on May 21, 2024:

Top to bottom, you're right buddy.

Baked treat made from dill dough.

annewimsey500 comments on May 21, 2024:

I am not a a racoon....I think.......

zeuser replies on May 21, 2024:

No, you're not a raccoon, Annie. Me neither, but the Google search results are pretty convincing. 🦝😂

Baked treat made from dill dough.

Betty comments on May 21, 2024:

Funny set, Z. Thank you for the chuckles. :)

zeuser replies on May 21, 2024:

You're welcome!

Baked treat made from dill dough.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 21, 2024:

That tree adds a whole new dimension to "morning wood..."

zeuser replies on May 21, 2024:

I was wondering who would cover that one first. Nice work. LOL

Finally, an arrest

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 20, 2024:

How creamy peanut butter was invented....

zeuser replies on May 20, 2024:

That's just nuts.

You know, if I take down the pony tail I think I've got the hair for it. LOL

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 20, 2024:

As long as that happy meal ain't a fish sandwich....

zeuser replies on May 20, 2024:

With cheese!

You know, if I take down the pony tail I think I've got the hair for it. LOL

Betty comments on May 19, 2024:

Funny set, Z. Thanks for the giggles. We should all have a "smart tv."

zeuser replies on May 19, 2024:

You and everybody else, apparently! LOL

You know, if I take down the pony tail I think I've got the hair for it. LOL

Redheadedgammy comments on May 19, 2024:

I want that smart TV!! 🤣

zeuser replies on May 19, 2024:

That seems to be the most popular item!

Another lazy day but I have to go shopping for new tennis shoes!!! 🥳🤘😂

zeuser comments on May 19, 2024:

That woodpecker came at me when I had a house with shake siding. I secretly switched out the red bull with kombucha. Good set MG. Get the Nikes. 😜

zeuser replies on May 19, 2024:

@michelle666gar I get whatever has 4E or 5E. NB is always a good choice.

I sense a socially conscious business opportunity.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 19, 2024:

A professional wood chipper and tractor works wonders if you want to do this professionally....And if you can get hold of an old cement tower with a truck you can just add 2 scoops of bullshit to each scoop of Nazi then mix well and compost then sell the mixture to farmers... this is known as the ...

zeuser replies on May 19, 2024:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz I can't argue. It's more of a hobby with me, though, and I deal with domestic asswipes.

I sense a socially conscious business opportunity.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 19, 2024:

A professional wood chipper and tractor works wonders if you want to do this professionally....And if you can get hold of an old cement tower with a truck you can just add 2 scoops of bullshit to each scoop of Nazi then mix well and compost then sell the mixture to farmers... this is known as the ...

zeuser replies on May 19, 2024:

Yeah, but you can't beat the simple satisfaction of tossing one shovel of dirt at a time. I'm just a dilletant here, anyway.

You know, if I take down the pony tail I think I've got the hair for it. LOL

michelle666gar comments on May 19, 2024:

I really like the genius TV, save a lot of time and money!!! Lol

zeuser replies on May 19, 2024:

Yeah, but I understand it's pay per view. 😉

Doctor's orders!!!

zeuser comments on May 19, 2024:

Hmmm.Is it working?

zeuser replies on May 19, 2024:

@Betty Good point.

What time is it now?

silverotter11 comments on May 19, 2024:

Seriously worst pun ... *EVER!* LOL internet broke me and witch doctor LOLOLOLOLOL

zeuser replies on May 19, 2024:

I specialize in the lowbrow, you know that! LOL

Real Defendant Trump has a platform, even if the rest of the GOP can't be bothered.

zeuser comments on May 5, 2024:

All the billionaire oligarchs are salivating at the thought of finally, finally grinding all of us under their jackbooted heels.

zeuser replies on May 19, 2024:

@annewimsey500 I'll invest. About time.

Notice the slope on those pyramids.

Polemicist comments on May 19, 2024:

Hilarious hieroglyphs amid the hustle and bustle as they hurried to be burried (sic). The base length of the pyramid was 2 times pi, the height was 4, and the length of each of the 4 lateral edges was pi times phi (the golden ratio). The base angles were alpha and the apex angles were beta where ...

zeuser replies on May 19, 2024:

Sounds plausible. LOL

What time is it now?

michelle666gar comments on May 18, 2024:

Is that a prison tattoo? Lol!!!

zeuser replies on May 19, 2024:

Maybe there a tat artist in that jail. So possibly.

What time is it now?

glennlab comments on May 18, 2024:

The internet has ruined me, good set.

zeuser replies on May 18, 2024:

Happens to everybody who's playing attention. Thanks, buddy.

What time is it now?

Betty comments on May 18, 2024:

Looks like he found a use for that nipple. 😂 Do you think it will start a new fad? ;) Thanks for the chuckles, Z. You're the best. :)

zeuser replies on May 18, 2024:

Thanks, hon.

Hey, she's good at it.

PaddyO comments on May 17, 2024:

I wouldn't put it past trump to shoot for the hand job at the defendants table. I wouldn't put it past her to try it!

zeuser replies on May 17, 2024:

Yuck! 🤮

Notice the slope on those pyramids.

Betty comments on May 17, 2024:

Apparently they carry "air phones" too. Jumping of any building is too high for me. ;) Good set, Z. Thanks for the chuckles. :)

zeuser replies on May 17, 2024:

You bet!

Hey, she's good at it.

HippieChick58 comments on May 17, 2024:

Good stuff!

zeuser replies on May 17, 2024:

Thanks!

And this crystal will help with that rheumatism.

Betty comments on May 17, 2024:

Fun set, Z. Thank you for the chuckles. :)

zeuser replies on May 17, 2024:

You're welcome!

And this crystal will help with that rheumatism.

EricJones comments on May 16, 2024:

The only paino player who will wear out her shoes before her fingers. The amulet will keep the philosophers going for decades. In addition to "farewell to arms" they could also display "the legend of sleepy hollow" with the headless horseman (or in this case horsewoman). There are some really ...

zeuser replies on May 16, 2024:

Glad you liked them!

And this crystal will help with that rheumatism.

silverotter11 comments on May 16, 2024:

The Apple dis is too funny!! Oxford comma jabs are always appreciated! LOL Fun set, Z. Went well with my first cuppa coffee!

zeuser replies on May 16, 2024:

Wake up with the Z-man. I need a theme song. 😄

Nope, I have not.

DenoPenno comments on May 16, 2024:

I can only imagine that she has told him she will not be sitting in court with him during his trials. I don't see any of the kids there either. Well, Bump, you are on your own.

zeuser replies on May 16, 2024:

Eric showed up a couple times, but he was probably coerced into doing it.

And his mother is luggage.

glennlab comments on May 15, 2024:

good set

zeuser replies on May 15, 2024:

Thanks, man.

And his mother is luggage.

Betty comments on May 15, 2024:

One stop shop. So who will be your victim with the voodoo doll? 😂 Please don't say it's me... You always get a chuckle out of me. Thanks Z. :)

zeuser replies on May 15, 2024:

I was just there for the live bait. LOL You're welcome!

Well that’s a big oops

zeuser comments on May 15, 2024:

Yikes! Trés embarrassing! 😲

zeuser replies on May 15, 2024:

@Betty Ooops, fixed it.

That's one reason us old guys switch to New Balance. Plus, they come in 5E.

glennlab comments on May 14, 2024:

I hope Ed enjoyed his last birthday.

zeuser replies on May 14, 2024:

He had a helluva good ride, didn't he?

So crazy you can smell the batshit miles away.... [dailykos.com]

zeuser comments on May 14, 2024:

Yeah, he wowed 'em at Wildwood all right. Diapers over dems, you betcha. What a pathetic buffoon. A churl. A moron.

zeuser replies on May 14, 2024:

@silverotter11 Also, did you know he played Conrad Birdie (meant to resemble an Elvis-like character) in the movie version of "Bye Bye Birdie"?

That's one reason us old guys switch to New Balance. Plus, they come in 5E.

Betty comments on May 14, 2024:

Fun set, Z. Thanks for the chuckles. :)

zeuser replies on May 14, 2024:

You're welcome, Ms Boop. ;)

Don't hate me because I create beauty...

EricJones comments on May 14, 2024:

That's the conversation my late girlfriend and I would have. She used to call me speedy and it wasn't because I was a fast distance runner.

zeuser replies on May 14, 2024:

TMI, EJ. LOL

The teacher asked the class to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.

zeuser comments on May 14, 2024:

You would think that teachers would learn not to engage with little Johnny by now. What is this one, Johnny joke 57,352? LOL

zeuser replies on May 14, 2024:

@Betty The gag always relies on a naive teacher as much as it does little Johnny. And as usual, the teacher doesn't get any of the credit. ;)

Don't hate me because I create beauty...

Pralina1 comments on May 14, 2024:

Those are great 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂i have to take the mcd one , i think is soo accurate 😂😂😂😂😂😂

zeuser replies on May 14, 2024:

Thanks. Help yourself. Consider these all free for the taking, which is of course how I got them. 😏

So crazy you can smell the batshit miles away.... [dailykos.com]

zeuser comments on May 14, 2024:

Yeah, he wowed 'em at Wildwood all right. Diapers over dems, you betcha. What a pathetic buffoon. A churl. A moron.

zeuser replies on May 14, 2024:

@silverotter11 South Philly boy. He had a set of pipes.

Don't hate me because I create beauty...

Redheadedgammy comments on May 13, 2024:

Obi Wan Cannoli, wins the internet today!! 🤣 Great set!!

zeuser replies on May 14, 2024:

Thanks, hon. ;)

Don't hate me because I create beauty...

Moravian comments on May 13, 2024:

Dancing with the tsars Love it.

zeuser replies on May 14, 2024:

Thanks. I liked that one a lot too.

Don't hate me because I create beauty...

Betty comments on May 13, 2024:

Gotta keep on top of the browser history. It'll give you away every time. 🤣🤣🤣 A fine set, Z. Thank you for the giggles. :)

zeuser replies on May 14, 2024:

Don't let anybody look! Thanks, Betty.

Don't hate me because I create beauty...

silverotter11 comments on May 13, 2024:

Everyone loves a talented beaver for goodness sake!~ LOL Fun set Z!

zeuser replies on May 14, 2024:

I'm not even gonna ask.. LOL

Unfortunately, for me it means a lot of ads for compression socks.

silverotter11 comments on May 12, 2024:

Another very fine and hilarious set Z.! lolololololol

zeuser replies on May 12, 2024:

Glad you liked 'em!

Unfortunately, for me it means a lot of ads for compression socks.

Betty comments on May 12, 2024:

Some men must need a confidence boost. 🤣 Boomers would not have been the largest demographic had we been idiots. ;) Fun set, Z. Thanks for the chuckles. You did gooooood. :)

zeuser replies on May 12, 2024:

My pleasure!

I bet lil donnie is happy it's Saturday and no court.

backtobasics comments on May 11, 2024:

It looks like New Jersey took a page from djt's lawyers and demanded payment upfront before they would allow him to hold his rally today.

zeuser replies on May 12, 2024:

I read that this rally was a literal showcase for his worsening slide into dementia. But at least Wildwood got the cash. I hope they waited until the check cleared.

Although I suspect some of you might like that just a little too much...

Pralina1 comments on May 11, 2024:

The bitch i am bright as fuck , i think i stoled from u or glenn months ago and u know i printed it , bcz ,, hello ???😂😂😂😂

zeuser replies on May 11, 2024:

Every so often, a duplicate slips through. Hey, it happens.

Bonus Trump Word Joke ca.

HippieChick58 comments on May 11, 2024:

Except this would not be a surprise to Melania, she isn't that dumb. He's been doing this their whole marriage. He just wants a chick on his arm for show. There has never been a question of fidelity. She looks the other way.

zeuser replies on May 11, 2024:

Well, it's a joke. It's not a stretch to imagine he met Melania in a club like the one in the story.

Although I suspect some of you might like that just a little too much...

Betty comments on May 11, 2024:

Funny set, Z. Who would want to be in the placebo group? The other groups looks like fun. ;) Thanks for the laughs. :)

zeuser replies on May 11, 2024:

You're welcome!

As zydeco bands say, "Somebody SCREAM!"

Betty comments on May 11, 2024:

Oh oh, Merv is going to get covered. 😂 Thanks for the giggles, Z. :)

zeuser replies on May 11, 2024:

You're welcome!

Thursday night gonna clean the other bathroom!!! 🎉🥳🎊

zeuser comments on May 9, 2024:

ATM magenta! *snort*

zeuser replies on May 10, 2024:

@michelle666gar And you always run out of magenta first, for some reason. LOL

Wait'll I post this in my funny pictures facebook group. They'll be soooo jealous.

silverotter11 comments on May 9, 2024:

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! Thanks Z.

zeuser replies on May 9, 2024:

No problem!

Wait'll I post this in my funny pictures facebook group. They'll be soooo jealous.

Betty comments on May 9, 2024:

Oh, Granny, your ducks are a little rough this morning. 🤣 I so look forward to your sets each day, Z. Thank you for the chuckles. :)

zeuser replies on May 9, 2024:

You're welcome, hon.

He couldn't stiff his caddy if he carried his own bag.

EricJones comments on May 9, 2024:

Maybe if his nanny would change his diaper once in a while. Granted he'd probably want her to play with him for a bit, stroke his egos till he can't take it any more.

zeuser replies on May 9, 2024:

I don't know if there are changing tables in the court's restrooms. That's possibly a big issue if they have to call a "code brown" for cinnamon Hitler.

He couldn't stiff his caddy if he carried his own bag.

Betty comments on May 9, 2024:

He is a full blown narcissist.

zeuser replies on May 9, 2024:

And that is the very best thing about him. I think he's definitely a sociopath, and probably a psychopath. Oh and he smells like shit. Literal shit.

That's the beauty of using simplistic labels to hide the real agenda.

backtobasics comments on May 9, 2024:

Chip needs to get a new job, he is unqualified for the one he has now.

zeuser replies on May 9, 2024:

In this congress, he has a LOT of company.

Did Nazi this coming... Was it starvation or Mercury poisoning?... [dailykos.com]

zeuser comments on May 9, 2024:

And they don't know who this joker will draw more votes from. Because even though he volunteered this information, bizarre as it is, people will still vote for a guy with a dead worm in his brain. This is where we are. 🙄

zeuser replies on May 9, 2024:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz That's trending right. Long ways to go to November, though, and a lot of voters are stupid. But still, encouraging.

Trump Dining Pal Complains Women No Longer Fear Men Popular Neo-Nazi Christian Nationalist Nick ...

zeuser comments on Apr 25, 2024:

MTG would stomp the living shit out of this idiot, then perforate him with her AR. Good one, Johnny.

zeuser replies on May 9, 2024:

@annewimsey500 Even maggots get rid of rotten meat.

Did Nazi this coming... Was it starvation or Mercury poisoning?... [dailykos.com]

zeuser comments on May 9, 2024:

And they don't know who this joker will draw more votes from. Because even though he volunteered this information, bizarre as it is, people will still vote for a guy with a dead worm in his brain. This is where we are. 🙄

zeuser replies on May 9, 2024:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz Sounds about right. Anything for a buck.

Bonus, Catwoman thinks I look cute.

michelle666gar comments on May 9, 2024:

Good ones!

zeuser replies on May 9, 2024:

Thanks, MG!

Bonus, Catwoman thinks I look cute.

glennlab comments on May 8, 2024:

good set

zeuser replies on May 8, 2024:

Thanks, man.

Bonus, Catwoman thinks I look cute.

Betty comments on May 8, 2024:

A pinata into S&M. 🤣 Cookie monster is going to be disappointed...🤢 '😂😂😂 Funny set, Z. You out did yourself. Thank you. :)

zeuser replies on May 8, 2024:

Aw, thanks Betty. 😊

On a Klingon ship, this would call for an assassination.

Betty comments on May 7, 2024:

Mentos and diet coke. 😂 Sticky...😂 You picked some good ones, Z. Thanks for another round of chuckles. :)

zeuser replies on May 7, 2024:

@Betty True that.

On a Klingon ship, this would call for an assassination.

Betty comments on May 7, 2024:

Mentos and diet coke. 😂 Sticky...😂 You picked some good ones, Z. Thanks for another round of chuckles. :)

zeuser replies on May 7, 2024:

SLOOOSH, a caffeine and mint laden apocalypse! You're welcome!

On a Klingon ship, this would call for an assassination.

michelle666gar comments on May 7, 2024:

Good ones Z!!!

zeuser replies on May 7, 2024:

Thanks, MG!

Abandon all hope, you who enter here. But see if you can get them to grate some parmesan for you.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 6, 2024:

Rick-Rolling should be considered a felony......

zeuser replies on May 7, 2024:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz I guess you get out of it what you put into it.

Abandon all hope, you who enter here. But see if you can get them to grate some parmesan for you.

michelle666gar comments on May 7, 2024:

Now I have that stupid song stuck in my head! Lol!!!

zeuser replies on May 7, 2024:

Hah! I got you too! 🤣

Trump should have been disqualified in 2016.

zeuser comments on May 6, 2024:

He'd never wear that jacket. He's a self-made man. A genius, and a stable one at that, cuz he has horse sense and a very good brain. 🙄

zeuser replies on May 7, 2024:

@annewimsey500 You will notice the "rolling my eyes" emoji.

The best laid plans of mice and men?