zeuser's Profile

Meeting at his golf course without clubs? Hmmmm.

silverotter11 comments on Sep 15, 2022:

Love Mike Luckovich!

zeuser replies on Sep 16, 2022:

He rarely misses the mark.

It's your problem, not mine.

ThinkingFree comments on Sep 15, 2022:

I like "your father gave me $20" 😄😄😄😄😄

zeuser replies on Sep 15, 2022:

Anything for a buck!

It's your problem, not mine.

silverotter11 comments on Sep 14, 2022:

Yeah, #1 came up frequently during my career in the printing industry. My supervisor at my favorite job said to me one time, "You're a real pain in the ass but way too good a worker to fire." My attitude stemmed from not taking any crap from the men/boys and not letting them get away with it ...

zeuser replies on Sep 14, 2022:

@silverotter11 I have an old friend who made a career out of color separation for high end printing. His job vanished like 10 years ago. They kept him because he was good, like you. Then the tech took it over.

It's your problem, not mine.

silverotter11 comments on Sep 14, 2022:

Yeah, #1 came up frequently during my career in the printing industry. My supervisor at my favorite job said to me one time, "You're a real pain in the ass but way too good a worker to fire." My attitude stemmed from not taking any crap from the men/boys and not letting them get away with it ...

zeuser replies on Sep 14, 2022:

You have a LOT of company. Hopefully, it's in the rear view mirror for you.

It's your problem, not mine.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 14, 2022:

I am #1.....

zeuser replies on Sep 14, 2022:

I knew you were. ;)

It's your problem, not mine.

Lorajay comments on Sep 14, 2022:

Pinocchio is the winner for me today.

zeuser replies on Sep 14, 2022:

For a puppet, termites are, well, terminal.

Meeting at his golf course without clubs? Hmmmm.

OldGoat43 comments on Sep 14, 2022:

I sure hope that the FBI had their parabolic sound receivers focused on that meeting.

zeuser replies on Sep 14, 2022:

I sure hope so!

It's your problem, not mine.

Diaco comments on Sep 14, 2022:

Yeah, Marry me! :D 😆

zeuser replies on Sep 14, 2022:

You gotta make promises that you can keep, you know?

Meeting at his golf course without clubs? Hmmmm.

glennlab comments on Sep 14, 2022:

I almost posted 3 of them. You have great taste.

zeuser replies on Sep 14, 2022:

When I beat you to posting something, I feel like I'm standing on the shoulders of giants. ;)

Meeting at his golf course without clubs? Hmmmm.

Redheadedgammy comments on Sep 14, 2022:

Excellent memes here! 😍

zeuser replies on Sep 14, 2022:

They almost write themselves.

Yeah, me too.

glennlab comments on Sep 13, 2022:

I've known quite a few whose last words were shit, that didn't work. Lesson learned.

zeuser replies on Sep 13, 2022:

@glennlab Atta boy!

The sisters of eternal agony teach you about sex.

ThinkingFree comments on Sep 13, 2022:

OMG, my sides hurt !! So funny. Thanks, Len !!

zeuser replies on Sep 13, 2022:

Glad you like 'em!

The sisters of eternal agony teach you about sex.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Sep 13, 2022:

The nun one - when I first started teaching, I took a job at a catholic school (hard times, needed experience), and a nun asked me to speak to her marriage class (I was married with 3 little kids). The kids were rather bored and uncaring about my "talk" until I casually mentioned that I had lived ...

zeuser replies on Sep 13, 2022:

@silverotter11 When you got 'em alone, they did a lot more than talk. ;)

To all my British and Commonwealth friends

p-nullifidian comments on Sep 13, 2022:

For all these years the words “Her Majesty” and “James Bond” have been inextricably linked. It’s going to be hard for me to adjust to hearing 007 refer to His Majesty! 😂

zeuser replies on Sep 13, 2022:

That's what Camilla said.

Yeah, me too.

glennlab comments on Sep 13, 2022:

I've known quite a few whose last words were shit, that didn't work. Lesson learned.

zeuser replies on Sep 13, 2022:

So far, it looks like it worked. BUT, don't get cocky. ;)

Yeah, me too.

phxbillcee comments on Sep 13, 2022:

Nice selection, & a few I stole...

zeuser replies on Sep 13, 2022:

Good! That's what I did to get them! LOL

The sisters of eternal agony teach you about sex.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Sep 13, 2022:

The nun one - when I first started teaching, I took a job at a catholic school (hard times, needed experience), and a nun asked me to speak to her marriage class (I was married with 3 little kids). The kids were rather bored and uncaring about my "talk" until I casually mentioned that I had lived ...

zeuser replies on Sep 13, 2022:

Catholics have a very counter-intuitive view of marriage, and sex in general.

Boy, does THAT guy deserve it. Unfortunately, there is no hell, dammit.

silverotter11 comments on Sep 12, 2022:

👏👍😈All good ones!

zeuser replies on Sep 13, 2022:

Thanks!

Elephantine logic.

ThinkingFree comments on Sep 12, 2022:

The picture you paint is the truth !!

zeuser replies on Sep 12, 2022:

The people being portrayed have a different perspective. A guilty one.

Boy, does THAT guy deserve it. Unfortunately, there is no hell, dammit.

Garban comments on Sep 12, 2022:

All cherries!

zeuser replies on Sep 12, 2022:

Thanks, G!

Video emerges of Trump moving boxes of documents from maralargo to bedminster in May 2021 ...

glennlab comments on Sep 11, 2022:

Bribing a judge to halt the investigation now seems all the more likely.

zeuser replies on Sep 12, 2022:

@glennlab Whatever it was, it was illegal and the judge is corrupt and openly criminal.

Video emerges of Trump moving boxes of documents from maralargo to bedminster in May 2021 ...

glennlab comments on Sep 11, 2022:

Bribing a judge to halt the investigation now seems all the more likely.

zeuser replies on Sep 11, 2022:

It's just as likely he is blackmailing her.

On the back of the picture, a set of fingerprints.

Redheadedgammy comments on Sep 10, 2022:

I really hope to see a picture of trump just like this one for his presidential portrait. 😍

zeuser replies on Sep 10, 2022:

Or on the post office bulletin board.

Logic-problem characters make strange bedfellows.

Garban comments on Sep 10, 2022:

Note to self: Take spicy salsa to hell.

zeuser replies on Sep 10, 2022:

Right! Great after-life hack! 😜

You gotta tug back. That helps.

glennlab comments on Sep 10, 2022:

He is even losing his grip on the MAGA crowd. If they can be defeated or held to minor victories, it could be the coup de grac

zeuser replies on Sep 10, 2022:

I hope so, buddy.

How many dogs in that picture?

phxbillcee comments on Sep 10, 2022:

They're all pretty good, but I'm still biased in favor of Calvin & Hobbes...

zeuser replies on Sep 10, 2022:

Can't go wrong with Calvin.

Oldie but goodie.

DenoPenno comments on Sep 10, 2022:

I've always found it so fascinating that you have to be American born to run for POTUS and so many people believed Trump. This makes everyone involved in the political process extra stupid right along with the masses. Duh! It gets worse when you see and hear things like it continuing to be said ...

zeuser replies on Sep 10, 2022:

Proof is for libtards.

Manipulating America's Gullible Assholes

glennlab comments on Sep 8, 2022:

my eyes

zeuser replies on Sep 10, 2022:

@joeandbarb We know that, in her past, she, um, *did things* for cash. So yeah, that's plausible.

Dedicated to all the waitresses in my life who ever called me "hon". ;)

glennlab comments on Sep 10, 2022:

Bird is worried that first you jumped out of a perfectly good airplane, then you don't flap.

zeuser replies on Sep 10, 2022:

A legitimate concern. LOL

Manipulating America's Gullible Assholes

glennlab comments on Sep 8, 2022:

my eyes

zeuser replies on Sep 9, 2022:

@joeandbarb I wonder what the pre-nup says about who controls the money if papa smurf does hard time in the can?

I've never ever been above shameless plugs.

silverotter11 comments on Sep 8, 2022:

On the floor groaning 🤣😈🤣.

zeuser replies on Sep 9, 2022:

But it's a good groan. LOL

Snap....what a happy sound, snap is the happiest sound I've found. LOL

ThinkingFree comments on Sep 8, 2022:

😂😄😅😂 Thanks for the laughs, Z. "Boom" is my favorite !! ❤️

zeuser replies on Sep 8, 2022:

That's why I led with it, I like it too. You can't go wrong with Unger, may he RIP. I met him once, got an autograph on one of his compilations.

Manipulating America's Gullible Assholes

glennlab comments on Sep 8, 2022:

my eyes

zeuser replies on Sep 8, 2022:

@LucyLoohoo I bet Epstein had her doing some things that were worse.

On the next episode of "Hoarders"....

HippieChick58 comments on Sep 7, 2022:

Gollum wanted the ring just to have it, Trump wants the secrets for his own profit. I prefer Gollum. Trump is an opportunistic bastard.

zeuser replies on Sep 7, 2022:

Gollum is also better looking. ;)

A ducky and a horsey, maybe?

JackPedigo comments on Sep 7, 2022:

When we were kids my brothers and I would play slapstick skits for my parents. A crazy guy named Soupy Sales was the rage and we would fill pie tins with whipping cream and hit each other in the face. Unfortunately he was often banned for some of the 'obscene' things he often said. ...

zeuser replies on Sep 7, 2022:

I remember Soupy. His show came on right after school and before suppertime. White Fang, Black Tooth, and Pookie were his puppet co-conspirators.

A ducky and a horsey, maybe?

silverotter11 comments on Sep 6, 2022:

🤣🤣🤣God of Slapstick🤣🤣🤣!

zeuser replies on Sep 6, 2022:

Piety is a necessity. Heh.

And they never had to be recharged...

glennlab comments on Sep 5, 2022:

That would be hell, no coffee.

zeuser replies on Sep 5, 2022:

Grounds for a lawsuit?

Cartoonish in just about every way.

DenoPenno comments on Sep 5, 2022:

I don't believe this because Trump would want something in return. LIke maybe money.

zeuser replies on Sep 5, 2022:

Or, like, a golf tournament?

And they never had to be recharged...

Garban comments on Sep 5, 2022:

No coffee in hell? Perhaps I should reconsider Pascal’s Wager?

zeuser replies on Sep 5, 2022:

That would have to be Folger's wager. ;)

And they never had to be recharged...

phxbillcee comments on Sep 5, 2022:

You always come up with good ones, bro...

zeuser replies on Sep 5, 2022:

I've got a secret pipeline. LOL

What would one do with a second mustache?

Kynlei comments on Sep 4, 2022:

No nerds allowed in heaven? Oh thank god 😂😂😂

zeuser replies on Sep 5, 2022:

I know, right? LOL

What would one do with a second mustache?

AnonySchmoose comments on Sep 4, 2022:

good group

zeuser replies on Sep 5, 2022:

Thanks!

Mad Magazine has been onto TFG for a LONG time.

OldGoat43 comments on Sep 4, 2022:

I'm sure the FBI has figured out how the trump clan distributed the Top Secret files to their buyers. The family mules are very handy.

zeuser replies on Sep 4, 2022:

I'm guessing the saudis are in the crosshairs here. Thanks Jared, you fucking tool.

Kinda sorta somewhat good.

glennlab comments on Sep 4, 2022:

Another good set.

zeuser replies on Sep 4, 2022:

Thanks, Glenn.:)

Maybe more than two. Plus, labels can be counterproductive.

glennlab comments on Sep 3, 2022:

Widow is an new take on an old one, but it's still funny, good set.

zeuser replies on Sep 4, 2022:

The classics never die!

I vote for the big hoosegow in east Kansas.

alliwant comments on Sep 3, 2022:

"Driving Miss Lindsey" is WICKED! I like the idea of Supermax myself (Florence, CO). Whoever goes there just disappears until their obituary.

zeuser replies on Sep 4, 2022:

I've heard of that place. Sounds ok to me.

Deep breath, now breathe out.

Garban comments on Sep 3, 2022:

All good, but being a fisherman I must go with the “other bowls with intelligent life”.🤣

zeuser replies on Sep 3, 2022:

@AnneWimsey No, of course not! LOL

A few for the weekend…

zeuser comments on Sep 3, 2022:

I'd go with "orgy".

zeuser replies on Sep 3, 2022:

@phxbillcee And what, Bill, you wouldn't? ;)

Deep breath, now breathe out.

Garban comments on Sep 3, 2022:

All good, but being a fisherman I must go with the “other bowls with intelligent life”.🤣

zeuser replies on Sep 3, 2022:

It's a legitimate fish philosophical question.

Deep breath, now breathe out.

phxbillcee comments on Sep 3, 2022:

Nice mix...

zeuser replies on Sep 3, 2022:

Thanks, man.

I vote for the big hoosegow in east Kansas.

JackPedigo comments on Sep 3, 2022:

How about a straight jacket (orange of course) in solitary confinement in the countries top insane asylum.

zeuser replies on Sep 3, 2022:

I can see some benefits from that method.

That look is not extinct, even if the diplodocus who sported it has been long since fossilized.

glennlab comments on Sep 2, 2022:

Live music, sure.

zeuser replies on Sep 3, 2022:

@glennlab Most guys don't show their asses, Glenn.And the ones that do probably aren't aware of it. Heh.

Barricaded at work because there was a robbery at the bank next door and the suspects ran away! ...

zeuser comments on Sep 2, 2022:

Nice! My money is on Sheen, FWIW.

zeuser replies on Sep 2, 2022:

@phxbillcee Wow, I’d pay to see THAT snort-off!

That look is not extinct, even if the diplodocus who sported it has been long since fossilized.

phxbillcee comments on Sep 2, 2022:

Some good ones here, but I love the "Identify it" one,...

zeuser replies on Sep 2, 2022:

Hits a little close to home, but yeah I like it too. LOL

That look is not extinct, even if the diplodocus who sported it has been long since fossilized.

glennlab comments on Sep 2, 2022:

Live music, sure.

zeuser replies on Sep 2, 2022:

@Beowulfsfriend Hey, goatees are always in fashion. They have through the centuries traditionally been a symbol of rugged masculinity. ;)

I vote for the big hoosegow in east Kansas.

racocn8 comments on Sep 1, 2022:

As a foreign agent, he should go to Guantanamo so he and his USSS buddies can keep their relationship going.

zeuser replies on Sep 2, 2022:

I really like this idea.

We are now at DEFCON 1.

racocn8 comments on Aug 31, 2022:

Trump's main argument is "Where will you find a jury to convict me?" (My experience is that judges have several ways of avoiding jury nullification.)

zeuser replies on Aug 31, 2022:

That's not an argument, that's a threat. Jury tampering, well, I just have to assume that he'll try that. Gonna be messy no matter what.

I'm still your number 1 source for bathroom humor. Heh.

Lorajay comments on Aug 31, 2022:

You are definitely the king of the bathroom.

zeuser replies on Aug 31, 2022:

And proud of it too!

We are now at DEFCON 1.

glennlab comments on Aug 31, 2022:

Terrible thing to happen to him, terrible I tell you. Part of me hopes he stokes out before he's indicted, part hopes it's after and part that he lives a very long life to suffer all that he is guilty of.

zeuser replies on Aug 31, 2022:

That is a conumdrum!

We are now at DEFCON 1.

Lorajay comments on Aug 31, 2022:

It is definitely ironic that Trump May finally be brought down by a lawsuit especially since he loves to sue people.

zeuser replies on Aug 31, 2022:

And the fact that it will be about the same things (but much much worse) he accused Hillary of doing in order to get elected is the cherry on top of the irony cake.

MSNBC - Watch Rachel Maddow Highlights: Aug. 29 [youtube.com]

silverotter11 comments on Aug 30, 2022:

The average citizen wouldn't see it but if people the U.S. has out there gathering info or 'spying' are pulled out I think you could make a case that those people were outted in those top secret documents that trump stole. That is a really bad thing.

zeuser replies on Aug 31, 2022:

That very thing has been happening. Did you know that 45 had over 20 private phone calls with Putin over the course of the last year of his admin, and that none were recorded or memorialized in any way? Gee, I wonder what they were talking about?

Cut the cord!

glennlab comments on Aug 30, 2022:

Loved Nancy!

zeuser replies on Aug 30, 2022:

That one seems to be the clear favorite.

In his own words, and yeah, the smell of flop sweat is pungent and palpable.

Redheadedgammy comments on Aug 30, 2022:

I wonder how often he has to change his depends every day? 🤔

zeuser replies on Aug 30, 2022:

We'd have to ask Lindsey, I believe that duty falls to him for the month of August.

Someone deserves some ice cream. 😄😔

phxbillcee comments on Aug 29, 2022:

Let me guess, he lives in her basement...

zeuser replies on Aug 29, 2022:

She tryna get rid of his ass.

You have to read the signs, then heed the signs.

glennlab comments on Aug 29, 2022:

I find the wood one hard to believe.

zeuser replies on Aug 29, 2022:

I know, right? Who actually uses that old piece of wood? LOL

Discombobulated

zeuser comments on Aug 29, 2022:

Should be incarcerated.

zeuser replies on Aug 29, 2022:

@NostraDumbass Yeah, I can get behind that idea.

And these aren't funny, either.

ThinkingFree comments on Aug 28, 2022:

I didn't "get" the princess one ?? 🙃

zeuser replies on Aug 28, 2022:

It is a take-off on the fairy tale "the princess and the pea".

Natural mood enhancement for carnivorous big lizards.

ThinkingFree comments on Aug 28, 2022:

I liked "So long" and irritable vowel. Z , you're the laugh-maker !! 😂

zeuser replies on Aug 28, 2022:

I just steal 'em and post 'em. Y'all pick out the ones your like. ;)

Marjorie Taylor Greene’s home swatted a second time in two days | The Hill

zeuser comments on Aug 28, 2022:

Keep that Glock loaded, oiled, and ready Marj, and point it right at the cops the next time they come by. Then they will know not to mess with you again. I'm just jivin' you, hon. Just resign from congress and live under an alias in a different place. That will be safer for you.

zeuser replies on Aug 28, 2022:

@Garban I'd be ok with that.

Hmmm, I think I can dope out the rest of this one in spite of the redactions.

glennlab comments on Aug 27, 2022:

Was he eating it, throwing it, or demanding that some one get it off his tie?

zeuser replies on Aug 28, 2022:

We'd need to go see the judge for that clarification. All of those scenarios are well within the range of plausibility.

Speaking of redactions...

glennlab comments on Aug 27, 2022:

And most claim to be christians whose whole faith is based on someone else paying their debt.

zeuser replies on Aug 27, 2022:

@Redheadedgammy You could come up with some of your own, I am sure!

Natural mood enhancement for carnivorous big lizards.

glennlab comments on Aug 27, 2022:

I need to teach my dog to shake like that.

zeuser replies on Aug 27, 2022:

I know, right?

Speaking of redactions...

glennlab comments on Aug 27, 2022:

And most claim to be christians whose whole faith is based on someone else paying their debt.

zeuser replies on Aug 27, 2022:

I bet you and I could go back and forth for a couple of hours just trading contradictions that xtians indulge in every day without any sense of irony or shame, nor any inclination to listen to why their contradictions are in fact contradictions. That actually sounds like a fun parlor game.

Watch your own self!

Austin-Cambridge comments on Aug 27, 2022:

A workplace for masochists? :-D

zeuser replies on Aug 27, 2022:

Looks like you have to supply your own gear.

Watch your own self!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2022:

Factory warning signs in the Deep South because "Hold ma beer an watch dis...."

zeuser replies on Aug 26, 2022:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz Yeah, I know. I run into them from time to time myself here in North Kackalacky,

Watch your own self!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2022:

Factory warning signs in the Deep South because "Hold ma beer an watch dis...."

zeuser replies on Aug 26, 2022:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz Sweet sea mother.

Right wing lunatic accidentally makes a sexual reference while spewing hatred [youtu.be]

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 26, 2022:

This guy looks, talks, and sounds just like the MAGA yahoos that I have seen around my town. I agree they are nuts and there is no point wasting breath or energy on them. They certainly have the authorities here intimidated and in my town, they are also part of the majority view, unfortunately. Most...

zeuser replies on Aug 26, 2022:

If you can, get outta there.

Watch your own self!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2022:

Factory warning signs in the Deep South because "Hold ma beer an watch dis...."

zeuser replies on Aug 26, 2022:

There are dumbasses all over the country. This is not region-specific.

Looks like the patriarchy wins this time.

ThinkingFree comments on Aug 26, 2022:

Maybe I shouldn't say this, but I didn't get the toaster one. 🙃

zeuser replies on Aug 26, 2022:

It's a premature e-toast-ulation. With a toaster, you can just push it back down, but the analogy to guys, well, bread is not toasted. :(

Watch your own self!

AnneWimsey comments on Aug 26, 2022:

Apparently there was an incident.....any info?

zeuser replies on Aug 26, 2022:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz I think they call him Stumpy.

Listen to Uncle Joe. Take notes, fer fuck's sake.

glennlab comments on Aug 26, 2022:

great set

zeuser replies on Aug 26, 2022:

Thanks, buddy.

Oh those wacky confederates, er, I mean, republicans.

Garban comments on Aug 25, 2022:

Melania has the Victoria Secrets, but she only shares with the pool boy.🤣

zeuser replies on Aug 25, 2022:

You mean the tall one that Barron sort of looks like?

Farts and broccoli, a naturally nutritious combination leading to clouds of phosphoric emissions.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 24, 2022:

Optimistic pessimism at its finest.....

zeuser replies on Aug 24, 2022:

You can be an optimist and still hedge your bets.

Excellent point....

zeuser comments on Aug 24, 2022:

Jersey boy trying to be a PA senator. Just such a wrong decision. Belly flopping Oz, tone deaf, proven charlatan, and a fucking Jersey boy. Holy shit, what was he thinking?

zeuser replies on Aug 24, 2022:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz That's him all right.

Excellent point....

zeuser comments on Aug 24, 2022:

Jersey boy trying to be a PA senator. Just such a wrong decision. Belly flopping Oz, tone deaf, proven charlatan, and a fucking Jersey boy. Holy shit, what was he thinking?

zeuser replies on Aug 24, 2022:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz Yep. He is a shameless huckster, which is why the talking yam decided to endorse him.

Uh oh, seven years bad luck, starting now. LOL

ThinkingFree comments on Aug 24, 2022:

Love the spoiler alert !! 😂

zeuser replies on Aug 24, 2022:

Yeah, keep your mythology chronology straight.

Uh oh, seven years bad luck, starting now. LOL

glennlab comments on Aug 24, 2022:

The phone contract hit a little close to home.

zeuser replies on Aug 24, 2022:

Right, was that "free" iPhone worth it?

Don and Hersch, quite a pair.

glennlab comments on Aug 24, 2022:

They made their beds, now they can sleep in them.

zeuser replies on Aug 24, 2022:

Herschel evidently doesn't sleep in beds, he breeds in them.

Ribs for Lucille.

AnneWimsey comments on Aug 23, 2022:

Oh, finally a proper description! I am sarchotic!

zeuser replies on Aug 24, 2022:

I have to agree. LOL

Boxed up and ready to burn.

glennlab comments on Aug 23, 2022:

He needs to be charged, convicted and sent away.