zeuser's Profile

Jesse Dollemore - DOJ Says it's Prepared to Prosecute Steve Bannon IN A SINGLE DAY!!! ...

zeuser comments on Dec 7, 2021:

Good. I'd be in favor of loading up his sentence to include hard labor and the requirement that he takes a shower, at least once. ;)

zeuser replies on Dec 8, 2021:

@LucyLoohoo LOL I promise, Lu!

The very worst of them all……

zeuser comments on Dec 8, 2021:

Yeah, I'd like 20 stamps...oh, wait... I thought I was in the post office there for a minute. ;)

zeuser replies on Dec 8, 2021:

@phxbillcee Yeah. I'm not sure that's a thing anymore, been a while since I saw wanted posters in the post office. I'm probably dating myself here.

An assembly of church messages brought to you by your friendly FFRF community.

zeuser comments on Dec 8, 2021:

I'd go see the ladies who cast off clothing of every kind. In the church basement, no less.

zeuser replies on Dec 8, 2021:

@JackPedigo Guess it depends on how much fund raising the ladies would be prepared to do.

An assembly of church messages brought to you by your friendly FFRF community.

zeuser comments on Dec 8, 2021:

I'd go see the ladies who cast off clothing of every kind. In the church basement, no less.

zeuser replies on Dec 8, 2021:

@JackPedigo I doubt that nudists would put up with how I look without any clothes for long. Friday afternoons in the church basement, that's my jam.

An assembly of church messages brought to you by your friendly FFRF community.

zeuser comments on Dec 8, 2021:

I'd go see the ladies who cast off clothing of every kind. In the church basement, no less.

zeuser replies on Dec 8, 2021:

@JackPedigo That's a gamble I'd be willing to take. ;)

Jesse Dollemore - DOJ Says it's Prepared to Prosecute Steve Bannon IN A SINGLE DAY!!! ...

zeuser comments on Dec 7, 2021:

Good. I'd be in favor of loading up his sentence to include hard labor and the requirement that he takes a shower, at least once. ;)

zeuser replies on Dec 8, 2021:

@LucyLoohoo Unless he goes commando. Ew, that disgusted even me. LOL

Ash heap of history material.

anglophone comments on Dec 6, 2021:

I wonder just how the United $tates of Absurdity elected such a dangerously deluded idiot as its president.

zeuser replies on Dec 7, 2021:

@Redheadedgammy I've seen this myself. I don't like the trend. I've lost friends. :(

Ash heap of history material.

anglophone comments on Dec 6, 2021:

I wonder just how the United $tates of Absurdity elected such a dangerously deluded idiot as its president.

zeuser replies on Dec 6, 2021:

I saw it happening, and I can't really explain it to myself satisfactorily.

Ash heap of history material.

Mofo1953 comments on Dec 6, 2021:

And yet he leads by far of all potential candidates for the republican party, amazing!

zeuser replies on Dec 6, 2021:

They hate him, but they are scared of him. Profiles in lack of courage.

It's about that time of the year to roll this old chestnut out for one more solstice.

p-nullifidian comments on Dec 5, 2021:

Well, there’s always Festivus for the rest of us! 😉

zeuser replies on Dec 5, 2021:

Time to break out the pole!

It's about that time of the year to roll this old chestnut out for one more solstice.

Theresa_N comments on Dec 5, 2021:

Mostly it's bah humbug for me, but I don't resent others celebrating the change of seasons. It's just this whole holiday is just an inconvenience for me.

zeuser replies on Dec 5, 2021:

It triggers a lot of people, that's for sure.

It's about that time of the year to roll this old chestnut out for one more solstice.

bobwjr comments on Dec 5, 2021:

I call bullshit

zeuser replies on Dec 5, 2021:

Then I take it back. Have a crappy nothing. 🤣

It's about that time of the year to roll this old chestnut out for one more solstice.

Canndue comments on Dec 5, 2021:

Bullshit. Celebrations and traditions are essential for happiness. We should promote as much as we can. They just don’t need to be based on religion…

zeuser replies on Dec 5, 2021:

It's a gag.

I now want a box of these for our tree.

zeuser comments on Dec 4, 2021:

Technically, if you have a tree, it should say "pagan". But I'll let it slide just this one time. ;)

zeuser replies on Dec 4, 2021:

@azzow2 Good, good.

Just in time for Xmas.

St-Sinner comments on Dec 4, 2021:

Perfect. I want it. Is it on Amazon?

zeuser replies on Dec 4, 2021:

I wouldn't doubt it.

More FFRF stuff

zeuser comments on Dec 2, 2021:

Good stuff, JP. ;)

zeuser replies on Dec 3, 2021:

@JackPedigo Good, I'm not going anywhere.

It's that time of year.

bobwjr comments on Dec 2, 2021:

Santa's special present

zeuser replies on Dec 2, 2021:

The original yule log.

Things can often be perplexing.

dalefvictor comments on Dec 1, 2021:

Come on, the cake was put in the oven while talking to the tomatoes.

zeuser replies on Dec 1, 2021:

That would make a certain amount of sense. You have to suspend disbelief, but yeah. ;)

Things can often be perplexing.

bobwjr comments on Dec 1, 2021:

Good mushrooms got any left over

zeuser replies on Dec 1, 2021:

I wish. It's been years.

Things can often be perplexing.

ChestRockfield comments on Dec 1, 2021:

To be fair, even without the picture I think most would be confused if told to bake a cake at 120 degrees...

zeuser replies on Dec 1, 2021:

Just like there is such a thing as poetic license, I'm using gag license here. ;)

Fund-duh-mentalist history channel....

Beowulfsfriend comments on Nov 30, 2021:

Unless you go with the fan theory that the Flintstones comes after the Jetsons. There are some weird and oddly intriguing points made for why. And then, there is the Jetsons Flintstones movie in which, at the end, the Jetsons need to reverse Elroy's time machine to go home.

zeuser replies on Dec 1, 2021:

I always thought Jane Jetson was the hottest Hanna-Barbera wife.

Politics Horsey style

silverotter11 comments on Nov 30, 2021:

Fun fact!! I enjoy Horsey! The truth is hard for white folk to take. It is a fact that percentage wise poor whites get far more free give-aways than others and it's not just because whites make up the majority of the current population in this country.

zeuser replies on Nov 30, 2021:

@silverotter11 I think that's what the culture issues are all about, notably the ones involving racism, white grievance, and self-righteous religious dogma. IMHO, of course.

That rascal. What's a mother to do?

BestWithoutGods comments on Nov 29, 2021:

I was once a Moron (oops, Mormon) missionary. After the mission, I studied the church in detail, discovered that it's a scam, and left it behind. I am happy to be free from Moronism.

zeuser replies on Nov 29, 2021:

I'm happy for you too.

Good to do this every so often.

St-Sinner comments on Nov 29, 2021:

Facebook goes around it and screws us any way.

zeuser replies on Nov 29, 2021:

Use the canine approach. Let's see Zuck screw around with THAT. ;)

Just in time for Xmas.

Willow_Wisp comments on Nov 29, 2021:

Christianity isn't fully understood in the Chinese sweat shop where this play set is manufactured, where Jesus is the anti-monster hero, IRL Jesus is the monster and Godzilla would be the hero.

zeuser replies on Nov 29, 2021:

@Canndue No, no, of course Godzilla is real. ;)

Just in time for Xmas.

Willow_Wisp comments on Nov 29, 2021:

Christianity isn't fully understood in the Chinese sweat shop where this play set is manufactured, where Jesus is the anti-monster hero, IRL Jesus is the monster and Godzilla would be the hero.

zeuser replies on Nov 29, 2021:

Well yeah, assuming either one of them was real. Not the sweat shop though, that's real enough.

Just in time for Xmas.

MerlinZap comments on Nov 28, 2021:

I want one!

zeuser replies on Nov 28, 2021:

Have you been a good boy?

The worst capitalist saying "Never mind the quality , Feel the Width" Please do not say this ...

zeuser comments on Oct 27, 2021:

It's a lot easier to be sloppy and verbose than it is to be clear and concise.

zeuser replies on Nov 27, 2021:

@Mcflewster People tend to pick the easiest way. Communicating the same thought with fewer words is work, and work is unpopular.

You always need that one percent of inspiration.

bobwjr comments on Nov 26, 2021:

Big groaner

zeuser replies on Nov 26, 2021:

Not to Dickens.

I suppose ball manipulation is out of the question too.

waitingforgodo comments on Nov 24, 2021:

This outrageous joke is distasteful and the epitome of self-serving sexism. The men voting this up should be deeply ashamed. Women should be treasured.

zeuser replies on Nov 25, 2021:

Sorry, bud. I suggest you block me.

All menus these days [youtube.com]

zeuser comments on Nov 24, 2021:

You know, avocado is the one food that I am allergic to, and you're right, they put it on everything. WTF eats avocado on toast, FFS?

zeuser replies on Nov 24, 2021:

@St-Sinner I would prefer to eat the peach.

All menus these days [youtube.com]

zeuser comments on Nov 24, 2021:

You know, avocado is the one food that I am allergic to, and you're right, they put it on everything. WTF eats avocado on toast, FFS?

zeuser replies on Nov 24, 2021:

@St-Sinner The thing is, before I developed the allergy maybe 10 years or so ago, I *loved* making guacamole. *sigh*

But…….The truth isn’t the truth!! (As Giuliani said)

glennlab comments on Nov 21, 2021:

I look forward to reading both their obituaries

zeuser replies on Nov 21, 2021:

I keep two bottles of champagne in the fridge. One is for when Dubya leaves us. Guess who the other one is for.

Some things you learn when you are young stay with you.

St-Sinner comments on Nov 21, 2021:

You are just giving away men's secrets

zeuser replies on Nov 21, 2021:

I bet little girls licked the beaters too, so it's an equal opportunity phenomenon.

Cheerful news from PEW Research... [pewforum.org]

zeuser comments on Nov 20, 2021:

I bet a strip club would boost attendance. I like to think outside the box, ya know?

zeuser replies on Nov 20, 2021:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz Oh it def wouldn't work unless you brought in outside talent.

Just lookin' around.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2021:

Unfortunately that corrupt judge got Rittehouse off but now hopefully the DOJ will have it's innings and the little prick will go to Club Fed for a very long time... Sad part is that judge will probable face no punishment for his part in all this.

zeuser replies on Nov 20, 2021:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz Yeah, they'd probably need some social justice law office to do it pro bono, or maybe get a go fund me thing going.

Pah! No candidate for soulmate. 😆

KateOahu comments on Nov 20, 2021:

Reason number 213 to not have a cat.

zeuser replies on Nov 20, 2021:

@MsKathleen I like 'em, but I and my daughter both are allergic. However, yes, a lot of cats are really just cold blooded pricks.

Pah! No candidate for soulmate. 😆

KateOahu comments on Nov 20, 2021:

Reason number 213 to not have a cat.

zeuser replies on Nov 20, 2021:

I get sort of a vague sense that you don't really like cats. ;)

Just lookin' around.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2021:

Unfortunately that corrupt judge got Rittehouse off but now hopefully the DOJ will have it's innings and the little prick will go to Club Fed for a very long time... Sad part is that judge will probable face no punishment for his part in all this.

zeuser replies on Nov 20, 2021:

I think the families can pursue this murderer for civil damages. That's not the same thing as a criminal conviction, but it would at least be a small measure of justice.

Follow me for more quick and easy recipes.

Cast1es comments on Nov 20, 2021:

Saw this on facebook .

zeuser replies on Nov 20, 2021:

Where do you think I steal most of these?

No DNA testing required here.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 19, 2021:

McTurtle makes the Clampetts look like rocket scientists...

zeuser replies on Nov 19, 2021:

The Clampetts were never stupid, just unsophisticated. They were smart enough not to consort with the Russians and suck Trump's dick.

Well, we addressed this particular deadbeat problem. For now.

RobertNappi2 comments on Nov 19, 2021:

I'm so grateful this POS is gone!!!

zeuser replies on Nov 19, 2021:

He ain't gone, but he ain't in the white house either. Good first step. Next step ought to be Leavenworth.

Glenn Kirschner - Steve Bannon's Ridiculous Court Performance Exposed [youtube.com]

zeuser comments on Nov 18, 2021:

Proof positive you don't need to be smart or look good to be a wildly successful criminal racist traitor. He plays to his audience, and among that mangy disgusting pack of prolapsed assholes, his star burns the brightest. Dickwad.

zeuser replies on Nov 18, 2021:

@LucyLoohoo That could certainly be part of the otherwise unfathomable reason.

Could be funny at pet store

zeuser comments on Nov 18, 2021:

I call bullshit. Real hamsters are gluten free.

zeuser replies on Nov 18, 2021:

@bobwjr Good point.

You can't tell just by looking..

tinkercreek comments on Nov 17, 2021:

Tsk, tsk, men and their secrets.

zeuser replies on Nov 18, 2021:

Hey, he came right out and admitted it, right?

That rascal. What's a mother to do?

St-Sinner comments on Nov 17, 2021:

He was caught with Mary Magdalene doing nothing

zeuser replies on Nov 17, 2021:

Are you sure about that? 😜

Any takers?

zeuser comments on Nov 16, 2021:

Awww.

zeuser replies on Nov 16, 2021:

The hart wants what it wants. I'm slipping, that obvious pun eluded me til just now.

Owning the antediluvian libtards.

Diogenes comments on Nov 16, 2021:

... and it rained for 40 days and 40 nights and covered the whole flat-world. How did they know this?

zeuser replies on Nov 16, 2021:

When you just make shit up, anything becomes possible.

I posted this several years ago on Facebook. It has aged quite well

DenoPenno comments on Nov 16, 2021:

I recall a relative telling me Ted Nugent was "woke" but I'm not. Ridiculous, and so is that relative.

zeuser replies on Nov 16, 2021:

Can one be both woke and brain dead simultaneously?

I found it never hurts to state the obvious.

dalefvictor comments on Nov 15, 2021:

Are you supposed to park under the sign?

zeuser replies on Nov 16, 2021:

Only if you want to get hammered.

“Think for yourself, or others will think for you without thinking of you.

zeuser comments on Nov 14, 2021:

When two people agree on everything, you can be sure that one of them is doing all of the thinking.

zeuser replies on Nov 14, 2021:

@Buttercup Good point.

I posted this several years ago on Facebook. It has aged quite well

phxbillcee comments on Nov 14, 2021:

& I'll bet they both have shitty drawers...

zeuser replies on Nov 14, 2021:

Trump is known to wear diapers. All that adderall makes your intestines run like Usain Bolt.

This! This is what we all need!

Beowulfsfriend comments on Nov 12, 2021:

How about, "The Four Gospels, as Read by the Original Members of Kiss." Anything for a buck - I saw you can now get a Kiss Kasket for eternity.

zeuser replies on Nov 12, 2021:

I wanna be cremated. Are there any Kiss Ashtrays? I bet they're cheaper.

We all thought Reagan was an anomaly.

OldGoat43 comments on Nov 11, 2021:

They now view their "fans" as a base for political power. It seems to be the beginning of a new phase of glory for the "Ignorant Americans".

zeuser replies on Nov 11, 2021:

Hell, just make the whole government a reality show and have elimination contests for policies, kind of like Survivor.

And put the fire in my burning hair out with a ball-peen hammer.

Canndue comments on Nov 11, 2021:

Hmmm…talking in tongues…..is that just practice?

zeuser replies on Nov 11, 2021:

Could be.

And put the fire in my burning hair out with a ball-peen hammer.

bobwjr comments on Nov 11, 2021:

Unless it's a pagan church with dancing naked service

zeuser replies on Nov 11, 2021:

Yeah, ok, I'm down for that too. LOL

We all thought Reagan was an anomaly.

HippieChick58 comments on Nov 11, 2021:

I just don't see this as being a good thing. Ronnie should have proved to us that celebrities have name power, but they don't make good leaders.

zeuser replies on Nov 11, 2021:

Media exposure is free advertising. Politicians, actual politicians, spend tons of money on advertising and media purchases. These celebs have a running head start with name recognition already in place. I'm surprised it has taken this long to really get rolling.

Beat-boxing Pontiff.

zeuser comments on Nov 11, 2021:

Plus all the altar boys think he's rad.

zeuser replies on Nov 11, 2021:

@BD66 I know, right? LOL

Sad to say………It’s happening……very slowly but surely.

zeuser comments on Nov 10, 2021:

Yeah, I think you're right. I heard Howard Stern is thinking of primarying Trump. Just what we need, one more has been celebrity with no verbal filter throwing his hat in the ring.

zeuser replies on Nov 11, 2021:

@CuddyCruiser I'd vote for Eddie Murphy, though. LOL

Give yourself one point for each one that applies to you.

Sticks48 comments on Nov 10, 2021:

I LOVE BLACK COFFEE!!!! You left off main lining.

zeuser replies on Nov 10, 2021:

Well, I stole the meme, so don't blame me. LOL

Give yourself one point for each one that applies to you.

KateOahu comments on Nov 10, 2021:

I hate coffee…unless it tastes like ice cream, so there is really no point.

zeuser replies on Nov 10, 2021:

To each their own. I drink one cup a day. I grind my own beans and use a French press. It's good, IMHO. I don't go over the top like the things in the post. That's just meant to be funny.

When they tell you god is real....

zeuser comments on Nov 9, 2021:

Um, that's blasphemy!

zeuser replies on Nov 9, 2021:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz No, not seriously. This, however, would be a probable response from the brainwashed true believers.

I bet nobody warned then about this part of the gig until it was too late.

AnonySchmoose comments on Nov 9, 2021:

Lincoln was 6'4", Roosevelt 5'10", Jefferson 6'2", Washington 6'2". Roosevelt is too big.

zeuser replies on Nov 9, 2021:

You seem to know a lot about how tall the presidents were. Comes in handy debunking a gag like this one. :)

Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has left the screen....

KateOahu comments on Nov 8, 2021:

I’m impressed.

zeuser replies on Nov 8, 2021:

I didn't etch these, if that's what you're thinking. I could've done the last one, but that's it.

The greatest omission in life is to risk nothing.

JackPedigo comments on Nov 8, 2021:

Some would advocate one has to step outside their comfort zone in order to evolve.

zeuser replies on Nov 8, 2021:

@LenHazell53 Sometimes, you are forced out of your environment: job change or loss, relationship changes, your protector or your dependent dies or goes out of business, illness or infirmity, imminent threat, you get the idea.

The greatest omission in life is to risk nothing.

JackPedigo comments on Nov 8, 2021:

Some would advocate one has to step outside their comfort zone in order to evolve.

zeuser replies on Nov 8, 2021:

Now that is true. That has been my experience.

I can see this this happening.

Theresa_N comments on Nov 8, 2021:

Sometimes I feel really stupid, but I did not get it.

zeuser replies on Nov 8, 2021:

Bean gave Einstein a question even he didn't know the answer to, but it only cost him 5 bucks whilst the genius Einstein had to cough up 500 bucks.

I bet he WISHES he said some of these.

racocn8 comments on Nov 7, 2021:

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. A penny saved is a government oversight. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. He who hesitates is probably right. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame....

zeuser replies on Nov 7, 2021:

Really, this deserves its own post. Good material.

I bet he WISHES he said some of these.

waitingforgodo comments on Nov 7, 2021:

Confucian: it's such a terrible shame Confucian: to know that he is to blame https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jUvhJ_Tgzw

zeuser replies on Nov 7, 2021:

This comment is a pretty good pun, a little bit of a stretch, but I'll allow it. ;)

I bet he WISHES he said some of these.

AnonySchmoose comments on Nov 7, 2021:

lol... Why not sprinkle these throughout the Analects?

zeuser replies on Nov 7, 2021:

The fortune cookie people probably have the rights sewed up. 😜

I bet he WISHES he said some of these.

Willow_Wisp comments on Nov 7, 2021:

Confucius is the bases of modern comedy, and there are historians that claim the guy never existed. The top person misquoted on the Internet is Buddha, and placing a close second is Einstein. Jesus would be number three but everyone has a Bible so they don't try to put words into his mouth they ...

zeuser replies on Nov 7, 2021:

Well, I don't think anyone actually thinks Confucius said any of those things in the post. Think of it as if Confucius had a modern writer composing his sayings. :) As far as misinterpreting biblical prose, well shit, that's been going on for centuries.

You need to think about this one for a minute.

KateOahu comments on Nov 6, 2021:

Not even ten seconds...

zeuser replies on Nov 6, 2021:

That's good!

Groucho nails it one more time.

St-Sinner comments on Nov 3, 2021:

Ha.. Ha.. correct. But he maybe worth something in China with his in-laws because what influence they can wield on the US Senate.

zeuser replies on Nov 3, 2021:

@St-Sinner I'll answer that one. She knows Mitch. Cash flow is cash flow, a buck is a buck.

It is well-packed

zeuser comments on Nov 3, 2021:

Betcha can't eat just one.

zeuser replies on Nov 3, 2021:

@St-Sinner it's more of a challenge.

Understanding the Trumpanzee……..

zeuser comments on Nov 2, 2021:

The Q guys are gathering in Dallas thinking JFK Jr will show up alive and offer to be Trump's running mate. No, really. https://www.rawstory.com/qanon-jfk-jr/

zeuser replies on Nov 2, 2021:

@silverotter11 No, I believe you. That rings a bell.

How to tell when the owner is a cheapskate that you don't want to work for...

St-Sinner comments on Nov 2, 2021:

Lol..... Correct. There is a labor shortage, especially of patient severs.

zeuser replies on Nov 2, 2021:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz I think the recognition that you *could* work from home, and that you *always could have been* working from home was the trigger.

How to tell when the owner is a cheapskate that you don't want to work for...

St-Sinner comments on Nov 2, 2021:

Lol..... Correct. There is a labor shortage, especially of patient severs.

zeuser replies on Nov 2, 2021:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz That is exactly what a lot of them are doing. It's not a shortage. It's an epiphany that has turned into a tidal wave.

How to tell when the owner is a cheapskate that you don't want to work for...

St-Sinner comments on Nov 2, 2021:

Lol..... Correct. There is a labor shortage, especially of patient severs.

zeuser replies on Nov 2, 2021:

That's a myth. There are a lot of patient servers, just not a lot of those willing to work for crap wages only to have customers shit all over them.

Understanding the Trumpanzee……..

zeuser comments on Nov 2, 2021:

The Q guys are gathering in Dallas thinking JFK Jr will show up alive and offer to be Trump's running mate. No, really. https://www.rawstory.com/qanon-jfk-jr/

zeuser replies on Nov 2, 2021:

@silverotter11 No! She'll be dead, but you'll be in the hoosegow, over *this shit*. LOL

Ok, ok, one more Halloween-themed gag.

HankSherman comments on Nov 1, 2021:

Clearly the counselor did not know his clients.

zeuser replies on Nov 1, 2021:

Yeah, and it's no reflection on them.

I generally don't post just text. But I did laugh at this one. Who would want to do this?

Pralina1 comments on Oct 30, 2021:

I have pre paid for my cremation as I don’t have any family in usa . My directions are for my jar to travel to Milan and to my sisters house ( my best friend in life 🙌) . I want my friend Cleo to spread my ashes in my sisters living room . So she has to clean after me one more time ...

zeuser replies on Oct 30, 2021:

Sounds like you've got a handle on it. 😁

The confluence of technology, religion, and marketing, all evident in one aggressively useless ...

AnonySchmoose comments on Oct 29, 2021:

Agressively useless white bread too.