zeuser's Profile

Good idea! 😂🤣

Indubitably comments on Dec 25, 2019:

At my age, I get up and go to the Jim in the middle of the night!

zeuser replies on Dec 26, 2019:

Just once? Stop bragging. 8-)

Trump praises Gabbard for not voting to impeach: “I give her a lot of respect.”

Mofo1953 comments on Dec 23, 2019:

Trump praise, kiss of death for her campaign

zeuser replies on Dec 24, 2019:

Her campaign was on life support before she even started, but yeah, the manchurian canteloupe's principled endorsement (I kid) should be the end of the line for her.

I mean it.

Killtheskyfairy comments on Dec 24, 2019:

My dad used to call me that when I was little!🤗

zeuser replies on Dec 24, 2019:

Some things never change!

This was 5 years ago but that cutie is my daughter.

zeuser comments on Dec 23, 2019:

She is a sweetheart! And that's the better definition of a holy trinity than what they try and sell you. What is that little punkin's name?

zeuser replies on Dec 24, 2019:

@SarahSiddons Let her teach you even as you teach her. 8-)

This was 5 years ago but that cutie is my daughter.

zeuser comments on Dec 23, 2019:

She is a sweetheart! And that's the better definition of a holy trinity than what they try and sell you. What is that little punkin's name?

zeuser replies on Dec 24, 2019:

@SarahSiddons Awww, watch her closely, she will grow up sooo fast.

‘Trump is terrified’ and ‘addicted to conflict’: Psychiatrist Justin Frank on the ...

zeuser comments on Dec 23, 2019:

What did someone say? He's as crazy as a box full of scorpions on meth. That checks.

zeuser replies on Dec 23, 2019:

@d_day As Foghorn Leghorn put it, " That boy, I say that boy, is as sharp as a sack of wet mice."

Eddie Murphy on SNL

Cutiebeauty comments on Dec 23, 2019:

Funnyman! I missed it though... I was asleep by 10 p.m. I tried to stay awake but I couldn't ..

zeuser replies on Dec 23, 2019:

@BestWithoutGods That's what I did.. He' still got the chops.

So, sitting on the throne in a Walmart bathroom, i look over & someone has printed, neatly, in black...

zeuser comments on Dec 22, 2019:

I saw a scene like this in a movie once. Yeah, it was a period piece.

zeuser replies on Dec 22, 2019:

@txtreehugger C'mon, you giggled a little. Admit it. 8-)

So apparently George Conway has deemed the hashtag for the impeachment to be IMPOTUS.

zeuser comments on Dec 20, 2019:

Mr. Conway is the hero these times require and deserve.

zeuser replies on Dec 20, 2019:

@BirdMan1 You can't hear the ones who still can reason because it's muffled with their heads up IMPOTUS's arse.

When a hint is not enough

zeuser comments on Dec 20, 2019:

Hairiest balls I've ever seen.

zeuser replies on Dec 20, 2019:

@St-Sinner I believe it depends on the establishment, but yes.

I think it is clever to hold off on submitting charges to the Senate, what do you think?

zeuser comments on Dec 19, 2019:

I LOVE the idea. In the meantime, continue investigating and maybe add an article or two. Let the articles drop after the primaries, so Republican senators don't have to worry about being primaried.

zeuser replies on Dec 19, 2019:

@darkstar24 The dam is about to break there, and wouldn't it be nice to add a money laundering article of impeachment?

The righteous indignation of the republicans yesterday was nauseating.

zeuser comments on Dec 19, 2019:

Fear keeps them from doing that. Fear of being a target of the moron's tweets, and fear of a primary challenge from a more rabid Trumper.

zeuser replies on Dec 19, 2019:

@TheoryNumber3 And you can even leave out the cats part.

I'm glad I'm not a cat! 😂

zeuser comments on Dec 18, 2019:

Oh man, EVERYBODY want to be a cat. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVhAGPYhvHo

zeuser replies on Dec 19, 2019:

@BestWithoutGods Can't blame you there.

be careful! this is serious stuff that's infiltrating the minds of the unsuspecting.

zeuser comments on Dec 18, 2019:

Propaganda is propaganda. People will believe a lie if they want it to be true, or if they are afraid that it is true.

zeuser replies on Dec 18, 2019:

@genessa I know. The best lies are always subtle, and contain enough of a grain of truth to sound plausible.

Well that's good to know😂😊👍

zeuser comments on Dec 18, 2019:

As most vacuum cleaner jokes, this sucks. 8-)

zeuser replies on Dec 18, 2019:

@Beowulfsfriend Never go for any where you use a coupon.

Well that's good to know😂😊👍

zeuser comments on Dec 18, 2019:

As most vacuum cleaner jokes, this sucks. 8-)

zeuser replies on Dec 18, 2019:

It's a pun, not my opinion of the gag, which is pretty good.

If there was an announcement a Trump Tower was being built in Russia and it was kept out of the ...

Freedompath comments on Dec 15, 2019:

Whatever game that trump and Putin have working on, most likely cannot be understood by liberals...hopefully we can throw in a few republicans, too? My intuition tells me it a sick kind of gravitational pull to one another. And that want be changing from what I have seen and heard! The Republicans...

zeuser replies on Dec 15, 2019:

My dad once told me, if you can't figure out why things are happening, the answer is money. The republicans have been paid off or threatened with promised funds being cancelled, sort of like what happened to the Ukrainians, only domestically. When you are motivated solely by money, patriotism, love of country, all that stuff, it's just what you say to get elected. Your soul is gone, replaced by dollar signs and shame.

I'm not really following the impeachment that closely, for the sake of my mental health.

zeuser comments on Dec 14, 2019:

Right now, it's like a dog licking its balls. Unappetizing at best, but you just can't stop watching.

zeuser replies on Dec 15, 2019:

@LucyLoohoo This is all I do, no singing or dancing. Just pick out the ones you like. 8-)

Now let's make the sign of the shoe to save our soles.

Killtheskyfairy comments on Dec 11, 2019:

How do you make the sign of the shoe?🤨

zeuser replies on Dec 12, 2019:

@Killtheskyfairy The sign of the cross is forehead, heart, left shoulder, right shoulder. I guess the sign of the shoe would be left foot, right foot. Like the hokey pokey. 😊

" There was no canoodling with the Russians."

OldGoat43 comments on Dec 12, 2019:

Tweety had trouble figuring out how much to pay the "entertainers" on the poles.

zeuser replies on Dec 12, 2019:

No worries, he, um, stiffed them.

He's the most ridiculous [theguardian.com]

zeuser comments on Dec 12, 2019:

Holy fuck, how many other times has this idiot done things like this?

zeuser replies on Dec 12, 2019:

@Frctnal I know, and we only find out about a very few, I'm sure.

Now let's make the sign of the shoe to save our soles.

Killtheskyfairy comments on Dec 11, 2019:

How do you make the sign of the shoe?🤨

zeuser replies on Dec 12, 2019:

It's a play on "making the sign of the cross."

“It is not enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well”.

zeuser comments on Dec 10, 2019:

Descartes went into a bar and ordered a beer. After he finished, the bartender asked, "Would you like another beer, Monsieur Descartes?" The old philosopher answered, "I think not", and he disappeared.

zeuser replies on Dec 10, 2019:

@Fernapple Let's hear YOUR Descartes joke, wise guy. 8-)

Yup bad day

Killtheskyfairy comments on Dec 10, 2019:

I think he’s having a good day. He’s a sitting duck and all that buck does is eat his lunch. It could be much worse. My ex husband went on a boy’s weekend camping trip with my younger brother and our grade school aged sons. He took a cooler full of steaks and hamburgers because real men...

zeuser replies on Dec 10, 2019:

At least you get to tell the story...

Mysterious ways indeed!

JackPedigo comments on Dec 9, 2019:

Sounds like Michele Bachman - no head.

zeuser replies on Dec 9, 2019:

And the faint aroma of toe jam.

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

zeuser comments on Dec 8, 2019:

Not to argue with the Mahatma, but that's always been how I defined integrity. Maybe they are two sides of the same coin.

zeuser replies on Dec 9, 2019:

@altschmerz Oh koan.

When the timeouts aren't working

Killtheskyfairy comments on Dec 8, 2019:

Actually, you don’t need it until they are teenagers.

zeuser replies on Dec 9, 2019:

And ankle monitors. Lordy I wish I put ankle monitors on them a couple of times.

This is good advice. Plus a basic truth.

JackPedigo comments on Dec 8, 2019:

Funny and coincidentally I'm rebuilding a nesting box and trying to figure out a way to invite only god free birds. FFRF has birdhouses for sale with their name all over them.

zeuser replies on Dec 8, 2019:

I've never met a bird pushing the Pentecost. The FFRF birdhouses can't hurt, though.

This is good advice. Plus a basic truth.

St-Sinner comments on Dec 8, 2019:

It is speaking to me directly. I want people to argue so I can win, and they and their God can lose.

zeuser replies on Dec 8, 2019:

Some arguments you can't win, and some you probably shouldn't have to begin with. But we're all on our own path, SS, so do what's right for you.

This De Vos bitch is despicable. [salon.com]

zeuser comments on Dec 8, 2019:

I'd love to see her go down in flames and wind up in the pen.

zeuser replies on Dec 8, 2019:

@Infoguy211 Or at least the pillory.

The hottest gift this holiday season: Your Own Set of Facts! - The Washington Post

zeuser comments on Dec 6, 2019:

Everyone for whom I would purchase these already has a set of their own facts. So more effective marketing might be the key.

zeuser replies on Dec 6, 2019:

@GeorgeRocheleau I'll give that a try!

Men Beware! New product arrival. Nature's Jacket We make mangoes out of lemons

ProudMerrie comments on Dec 5, 2019:

I can't imagine why any woman in her right mind would wear something so damned ridiculous.

zeuser replies on Dec 5, 2019:

Who says only women would wear it?

“Mistakes are, after all, the foundations of truth, and if a man does not know what a thing is, ...

zeuser comments on Dec 5, 2019:

The only people who don't make mistakes are the ones who aren't doing anything at all. Decades ago when I was working temp I screwed something up, my supervisor told me this and I never forgot it.

zeuser replies on Dec 5, 2019:

@wonderandlisten When I was a supervisor later in my career, I said it many times. As a result, I had a very loyal staff who tried a lot harder to do it right, unafraid that a mistake would count against them if they made it while exerting honest effort.

Bigamy! The only occasion where two rites make a wrong! ( The late, great Bob Hope ) :-)

Athena comments on Dec 5, 2019:

This also works with two "rights" as in two Mrs. Rights. Rite or Right, I miss Bob Hope.

zeuser replies on Dec 5, 2019:

He was the speaker at my college graduation in 75. Met him in the men's room prior to the ceremony. We, uh, hung out together for a bit.

Christmas is coming....

zeuser comments on Dec 1, 2019:

Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus...

zeuser replies on Dec 1, 2019:

@St-Sinner Just trying to give him a steady rhythm, but yeah, I guess it's better to be quiet.

The White House Says Nursing Home Regulations Are Too Tough : NPR

zeuser comments on Dec 1, 2019:

Sounds like he's cannibalizing a big part of his base here.

zeuser replies on Dec 1, 2019:

@altschmerz I don't think that would do it. He was right about that one, sadly. It would be fake news.

The White House Says Nursing Home Regulations Are Too Tough : NPR

zeuser comments on Dec 1, 2019:

Sounds like he's cannibalizing a big part of his base here.

zeuser replies on Dec 1, 2019:

@altschmerz He is noted for doing things that directly harm his base, and they still love him. This move is reprehensible, to be sure, but there's so much horror in his "policies" that it's hard to call one any worse than any other one. By any metric though, this is outstandingly awful.

Wrong choice

Killtheskyfairy comments on Dec 1, 2019:

And I’m pretty sure most women wouldn’t buy clothing from a man who killed his wife and got away with it.

zeuser replies on Dec 1, 2019:

@Athena Sometimes you just forget to switch the phaser back to stun. But seriously, I knew about the wife and the swimming pool, wasn't aware there was more than one incident in his past.

If you have a phobia bout this, sorry in advance... [facebook.com]

EyesThatSmile comments on Dec 1, 2019:

I get FB, so it works for me. Interesting to watch a snake climb or get on a rope.

zeuser replies on Dec 1, 2019:

Yeah, that was something. Who knew?

I'd remember too.

Killtheskyfairy comments on Dec 1, 2019:

People were doing that at lunchtime on a week day in the 60’s??

zeuser replies on Dec 1, 2019:

@Killtheskyfairy Just trying to be informative. 😊 Some of my posts to the laughs group have gotten backlash, so I like to be sure.

I'd remember too.

Killtheskyfairy comments on Dec 1, 2019:

People were doing that at lunchtime on a week day in the 60’s??

zeuser replies on Dec 1, 2019:

Well, this is a just for laughs gag. But I imagine there were more than a few folks who liked this stuff back then.

A Mormon is seated next to an Irishman on a plane.

Killtheskyfairy comments on Nov 30, 2019:

I didn’t realize the Irish had such a reputation for being so sexually liberal. Isn’t that country effectively run by the RCC?

zeuser replies on Nov 30, 2019:

They just decriminalized abortion. The Irish are at heart druids who were subjugated by St. Patrick when he came with a hit squad and slaughtered all the practicing druids and chieftains. Druidry was a lot earthier than what the catholics perpetrated on the celts.

My friend and his wife in couples therapy.

zeuser comments on Nov 30, 2019:

THIS brings back memories.

zeuser replies on Nov 30, 2019:

@St-Sinner Nope. But pleasantly in the rear view mirror, and getting smaller and smaller every day.

somebody in the military get rid of this imbecile! [msn.com]

DenoPenno comments on Nov 29, 2019:

"somebody in the military get rid of this imbecile! " I think he might be aware of it. That's why he made the secret trip in the first place. He has to keep our military as an ally.

zeuser replies on Nov 30, 2019:

After this nonsense with firing the secretary of the Navy, my fear is that he is going to start purging the generals who were all against his stupid pardons.

This is my kind of 'spirituality.'

zeuser comments on Nov 29, 2019:

I dunno, real turkey gave its life for me.

zeuser replies on Nov 29, 2019:

@JackPedigo Yeah, you're right.

Sock rocket?

glennlab comments on Nov 27, 2019:

Another Reagan, what is it about the republican party that they seek out mentally deranged people to lead their party?

zeuser replies on Nov 28, 2019:

They are the only ones available.

I saw this the other day and thought it was amazing how similar things are today.

zeuser comments on Nov 24, 2019:

I remember reading this column when it was first written back in the 70's. It was hilarious then, and scary how similar it is to what they say these days.

zeuser replies on Nov 24, 2019:

@NHjulie Art was unforgettable, they don't make them like that anymore.

Wife cheats on her husband with the mailman.

Wangobango3 comments on Nov 23, 2019:

"....... the breakfast was my idea..."

zeuser replies on Nov 23, 2019:

Yeah, that's how I tell it too.

Who needs glasses when you can do that😂🤣😂🤣

Beowulfsfriend comments on Nov 22, 2019:

The simple life of being a Potato Head. Just imagine. What society would exist in a Potato Head world?

zeuser replies on Nov 23, 2019:

I dunno, BF, you could only get fried one time.

I think we all knew he was a traitor, this just proves it more [amp.businessinsider.com]

silverotter11 comments on Nov 22, 2019:

That gop member nunez, jordan, etc. *do NOT* see or understand this is even more troubling to me. Those members of the gop more loyal to trump, their cush jobs and tax payer paid perks than up holding their swore oath to protect and defend the Constitution and all it stands for are the real ...

zeuser replies on Nov 23, 2019:

They see it. They are in on it.

Meanwhile, in Bloom County...

Killtheskyfairy comments on Nov 22, 2019:

Makes no sense.🤨

zeuser replies on Nov 22, 2019:

Well, it's a satirical comic. The anxiety closet is a running gag. This comic looks like an affirmation that Ms Hill is a bad ass. And you know what? She is!

Laughing my donkey off. 😂🤣

ToolGuy comments on Nov 22, 2019:

What is work?

zeuser replies on Nov 22, 2019:

@Heidi68 Your time will come. 😘

Laughing my donkey off. 😂🤣

ToolGuy comments on Nov 22, 2019:

What is work?

zeuser replies on Nov 22, 2019:

The closest I get to work these days is pushing myself up out of the recliner to visit the commode and get another wine.

Trump is on record as saying "I am the POTUS and I can do anything I like without question"! Lets ...

zeuser comments on Nov 21, 2019:

After we kick him out, prosecution for treason is entirely possible.

zeuser replies on Nov 22, 2019:

@Freedompath Yeah, but *we'd* enjoy the hell out of it.

I always wondered where they kept this stuff...

EdEarl comments on Nov 20, 2019:

Where do they holy fuck?

zeuser replies on Nov 20, 2019:

Great cartoons invite the observer to write their own gags.

If I were Donnie I'd be looking for my fly fishing waders, he's in such a sea of shit now! :-)

zeuser comments on Nov 20, 2019:

This will freeze up his heart or cause an artery in his brain to pop. Walter Reed Hospital ought to make up a suite for him for when it happens.

zeuser replies on Nov 20, 2019:

@Austin-Cambridge Get the flatbed they use for livestock, that oughta work.LOL

If I were Donnie I'd be looking for my fly fishing waders, he's in such a sea of shit now! :-)

zeuser comments on Nov 20, 2019:

This will freeze up his heart or cause an artery in his brain to pop. Walter Reed Hospital ought to make up a suite for him for when it happens.

zeuser replies on Nov 20, 2019:

@Austin-Cambridge That would be sweet! Won't happen, fun to imagine.

Walter Reed takes a chance.

EMC2 comments on Nov 19, 2019:

As we all have become numb to shocking news I will now say this; I believe it is possible that Trumpy became emotionally dismantled and they needed to get him away from personnel. They probably sedated him and then shit their pants this is what we have

zeuser replies on Nov 20, 2019:

This is my theory as well. I don't think he's been seen in public since then, has he?

This adminstration could have been so fabulous.

zeuser comments on Nov 19, 2019:

Don't drag her into this.

zeuser replies on Nov 20, 2019:

@KKGator Probably be a better veep than our current empty suit.

This adminstration could have been so fabulous.

zeuser comments on Nov 19, 2019:

Don't drag her into this.

zeuser replies on Nov 19, 2019:

@BirdMan1 I think that's Ru Paul In the meme, but I like your version better.

Just in time for xmas, for those hard-to-buy-for republicans on your list....

silverotter11 comments on Nov 18, 2019:

Fun! trump needs to join his friends already in jail!