Getting something pasta censors. The longer you look, the better it gets.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Feb 12, 2023:

Looks like Anime Pasta.

zeuser replies on Feb 13, 2023:

Probably hentai pasta.

Getting something pasta censors. The longer you look, the better it gets.

Pralina1 comments on Feb 12, 2023:

I hate u

zeuser replies on Feb 13, 2023:

Aww, come on now! 😇

My kind of yoga, anything else is a stretch for me. ;)

ThinkingFree comments on Feb 12, 2023:

Love the "slide show" !! 😄😊😀😁

zeuser replies on Feb 12, 2023:

More fun than the ones I've had to sit through.

My kind of yoga, anything else is a stretch for me. ;)

Betty comments on Feb 11, 2023:

QR code? Now, that's an idea. lol

zeuser replies on Feb 11, 2023:

Let us know how it works out for you!

Planet of the howler monkeys.

dkp93 comments on Feb 11, 2023:

Can we please stop denigrating beautiful, innocent animals by comparing them to walking trash like this waste of skin? I'd elect a howler monkey over her any day! She is an awful human.

zeuser replies on Feb 11, 2023:

Good point. I'll send an apology to the howler monkey association today.

St. Hubert Catholic High School Students Bashed for Racist Video

anglophone comments on Feb 10, 2023:

What sort of totally evil shitbags was it that encouraged those students to have such vile attitudes in the first place?

zeuser replies on Feb 11, 2023:

Probably their anti-choice, LGBTQ-hating, casually racist parents. That would be my guess.

Eating granny.

ThinkingFree comments on Feb 10, 2023:

Donuts !!! 🤣😂🤣😂

zeuser replies on Feb 10, 2023:

That one fired up your competitive spirit, eh? LOL

Seriously? Not even one you cut in half?

Garban comments on Feb 9, 2023:

Forgetting puppy treats, the big career limiting move.🤣

zeuser replies on Feb 9, 2023:

You only make that mistake once. LOL

Ron and Marge, quite a pair.

silverotter11 comments on Feb 8, 2023:

These are great memes. It does make me sad though. If only those feckless cunts would spend as much time coming up with solutions for the poorest of their constituents as they do trying to trigger the dems and progressives.

zeuser replies on Feb 9, 2023:

@pamagain You'd have to think that a bunch of the people who voted for these two toolbags actually agree with them. So, in a sense, they represent them at least. Nothing to be proud of, mind you.

“I believe that the first test of a truly great man is his humility.

Mcfluwster comments on Feb 9, 2023:

"see something divine in every other man" I would like an example of the persons in his thoughts if possible

zeuser replies on Feb 9, 2023:

I just stumbled across this quote, I have no idea who he had in mind. Good question, though.

Ron and Marge, quite a pair.

silverotter11 comments on Feb 8, 2023:

These are great memes. It does make me sad though. If only those feckless cunts would spend as much time coming up with solutions for the poorest of their constituents as they do trying to trigger the dems and progressives.

zeuser replies on Feb 8, 2023:

They are finished with policy and all in on performance. It's a lot easier to blame shit on people, even imaginary, than it is to do something and be responsible for its success or failure.

It's under water, just like Miami!

Pralina1 comments on Feb 7, 2023:

These are great 🙌🙌🙌🙌♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I am gonna steal them all ...

zeuser replies on Feb 8, 2023:

Use them judiciously with my compliments. ;)

Talk louder, hon. LOL

Betty comments on Feb 7, 2023:

Never mess with an angry cat. lol

zeuser replies on Feb 7, 2023:

He should have *led* with the catnip. Heh

It's under water, just like Miami!

Garban comments on Feb 7, 2023:

Supreme bean, yes! Instead of bread and wine, expresso and biscotti.

zeuser replies on Feb 7, 2023:

Hail Arabica, blessed be thy name! 🤣

Just a few from our favorite sunshine state.

TheDoubter comments on Feb 7, 2023:

what a travesty

zeuser replies on Feb 7, 2023:

Giving that medal to Rush still steams me every time I think about it.

Be like the princess, little one.

MerlinZap comments on Feb 5, 2023:

Pity the poor unfortunate guitarist.

zeuser replies on Feb 5, 2023:

I don't think he knows he is supposed to be a guitarist.

I just found this one, and I knew I had the right audience here. LOL

racocn8 comments on Feb 3, 2023:

Can I get a hint, or even a spoiler? ...ooops, yeah, never mind. I figured I should be looking for a penis...

zeuser replies on Feb 3, 2023:

I saw the wine glass first, then realized that wasn't "it".

I just found this one, and I knew I had the right audience here. LOL

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 3, 2023:

She is a dick....

zeuser replies on Feb 3, 2023:

She's just wearing one. You have to wonder who she got it from.

At least he checked in to see.

ThinkingFree comments on Feb 2, 2023:

🤣😅🤣😅🤣 "shit!!"

zeuser replies on Feb 2, 2023:

It doesn't pay to be the early worm.

Take precautions, it's cheaper than stitches.

Garban comments on Feb 2, 2023:

Is Barbie tired of drunk ass Ken?

zeuser replies on Feb 2, 2023:

Wouldn't surprise me. ;)

Storm coming.

glennlab comments on Feb 1, 2023:

I love a good storm.

zeuser replies on Feb 1, 2023:

@glennlab It takes less than a minute to last for the rest of your miserable morbidly obese batshit crazy life.

Storm coming.

glennlab comments on Feb 1, 2023:

I love a good storm.

zeuser replies on Feb 1, 2023:

Me too!

The ending has to be believable.

Theresa_N comments on Feb 1, 2023:

I like the groundhog one.

zeuser replies on Feb 1, 2023:

It's very timely. Nobody ever talks to the woodchuck.

At least he checked in to see.

joeandbarb comments on Feb 1, 2023:

the first one could be trump and melania down in mar a lardo!

zeuser replies on Feb 1, 2023:

If there were more ketchup....

At least he checked in to see.

glennlab comments on Feb 1, 2023:

He could have hot fingers on that waffle iron.

zeuser replies on Feb 1, 2023:

Maybe write some syrupy prose?

No brush required.

glennlab comments on Feb 1, 2023:

They all kind of make you think, good set.

zeuser replies on Feb 1, 2023:

Thanks, man.

Making the sign of the bat to protect us from all super-villains.

HankSherman comments on Feb 1, 2023:

Ain't no protection from congressional ignorance

zeuser replies on Feb 1, 2023:

Not even Batman would help there, although Bruce Wayne could probably afford a senator or two.

Arni is still funny

zeuser comments on Jan 31, 2023:

I'll be Bacharach?

zeuser replies on Jan 31, 2023:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz That is definitely a factor.

Arni is still funny

zeuser comments on Jan 31, 2023:

I'll be Bacharach?

zeuser replies on Jan 31, 2023:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz That's good, but the original (unspoken) gag "I'll be Bach" overlayed with "I'll be Bacharach", a liiving composer, sems funnier. That's what I was going for, anyways. ;)

Trump Could Face Charges For Stormy Daniels Payments As Manhattan DA Reportedly Convenes Grand Jury

glennlab comments on Jan 30, 2023:

Since he was an un indicted, unnamed co conspirator in Cohen's case, it is about freaking time.

zeuser replies on Jan 31, 2023:

@glennlab I'm serious, and don't call me Shurely.😉

Trump Could Face Charges For Stormy Daniels Payments As Manhattan DA Reportedly Convenes Grand Jury

glennlab comments on Jan 30, 2023:

Since he was an un indicted, unnamed co conspirator in Cohen's case, it is about freaking time.

zeuser replies on Jan 30, 2023:

@SeaGreenEyez I'd say "that sucks" but that's too easy and cheap of a pun, and everyone here knows how I detest puns. LOL

An honest mistake...

glennlab comments on Jan 30, 2023:

I didn't know they made ball deodorant.

zeuser replies on Jan 30, 2023:

Um, yeah. We know. LOL

Trump Could Face Charges For Stormy Daniels Payments As Manhattan DA Reportedly Convenes Grand Jury

glennlab comments on Jan 30, 2023:

Since he was an un indicted, unnamed co conspirator in Cohen's case, it is about freaking time.

zeuser replies on Jan 30, 2023:

Well, he was president when this came out. But it's been 2 years, so yeah, waaay past the due date.

That's when I switched to data design. 😜

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 29, 2023:

I would have switched to guiding assholes...

zeuser replies on Jan 29, 2023:

I bet you'd be good at it. ;)

Republicans misbehaving.

joeandbarb comments on Jan 29, 2023:

The GOP base is mostly retired people on social security and medicare and they still vote for them. I wish someone could explain that to me

zeuser replies on Jan 29, 2023:

It's the same way street magicians amaze the rubes - misdirection.

Cat fishing technology upgrade.

glennlab comments on Jan 28, 2023:

I attended that last meeting way too many times.

zeuser replies on Jan 29, 2023:

My favorite thing in those meetings was, after they had beaten whatever topics they were going on about to death, some smartass suckup would start asking dumbass questions.

Those are my eyes, dude!

MerlinZap comments on Jan 28, 2023:

I may know a few "Prattlersnakes"!

zeuser replies on Jan 29, 2023:

I sure do.

Cat fishing technology upgrade.

joeandbarb comments on Jan 28, 2023:

I too love drugs and hate working!

zeuser replies on Jan 28, 2023:

Get in line!

Republicans misbehaving.

TheDoubter comments on Jan 28, 2023:

jordan turned a blind eye to doctor who was sexually abusing female athletes.

zeuser replies on Jan 28, 2023:

And so far he has gotten away with it, which is reeeeally galling.

Cat fishing technology upgrade.

silverotter11 comments on Jan 28, 2023:

*LOVE* what's for dinner!!!🤣🤣🤣Actually they're all good!

zeuser replies on Jan 28, 2023:

All I know is that I never forget my reading glasses. LOL

Where vultures gather, pick other routes you'd rather.

ThinkingFree comments on Jan 27, 2023:

. . . . . I'm not your first creepy clown !!! 🤣😂😅🤣😂😅

zeuser replies on Jan 27, 2023:

The heart wants what the heart wants. LOL

The Trump legacy lives on, unfortunately

zeuser comments on Jan 26, 2023:

I don't want facts. There it all is, in one phrase.

zeuser replies on Jan 27, 2023:

@anglophone Yeah, you're right.

Nude puppetry isn't quite as titillating as it sounds.

Redheadedgammy comments on Jan 26, 2023:

You know, I still remember my first grade teacher!!! 🤣🤣🤣

zeuser replies on Jan 26, 2023:

Me too. I can't tell you the name due to security measures. Heh.

Last one from Epicurus for a bit, so I thought I would end with a contentious one.

zeuser comments on Jan 25, 2023:

In the highly unlikely event that I ever have a wife again, I will keep this up my sleeve. ;)

zeuser replies on Jan 26, 2023:

@Diogenes Sorry, partner.

I will continue my posting of items from the FFRF newsletter.

glennlab comments on Jan 25, 2023:

06 @zeuser you out there

zeuser replies on Jan 25, 2023:

Yeah, gotcha buddy. ;)

Coming soon to a half-full arena near you.

silverotter11 comments on Jan 24, 2023:

I've read his rallies just are not drawing the crowds AND venues are getting hard to find. People have heard don lardo doesn't pay his bills.

zeuser replies on Jan 25, 2023:

@silverotter11 Yes. I've run into that problem m'self.

Coming soon to a half-full arena near you.

silverotter11 comments on Jan 24, 2023:

I've read his rallies just are not drawing the crowds AND venues are getting hard to find. People have heard don lardo doesn't pay his bills.

zeuser replies on Jan 24, 2023:

*Heard* about how he's a deadbeat? Hell, being a deadbeat is built into his brand, FFS.

Coming soon to a half-full arena near you.

bookofmorons comments on Jan 24, 2023:

I am so sick of his face and his voice. Put him in jail please

zeuser replies on Jan 24, 2023:

You got a lot of company,

Snow problem, dear.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 24, 2023:

Snow shit.... California is at 250% of normal snowpack this year...

zeuser replies on Jan 24, 2023:

Good news. Not enough to fix years of draught, but a step in the right direction.

Coming soon to a half-full arena near you.

Redheadedgammy comments on Jan 24, 2023:

Just hope the media doesn't cover his bullshit this time around!

zeuser replies on Jan 24, 2023:

Oh, they';ll cover it. They need the eyes he attracts to sell you beer, candy bars, and car insurance.

Analyst asking probing questions.

glennlab comments on Jan 24, 2023:

Got some good ones an some groaners. I've stolen the good ones.

zeuser replies on Jan 24, 2023:

I have to include some groaners. I have a reputation to uphold. LOL

What's in a name? ;)

AnneWimsey comments on Jan 24, 2023:

a Toaster!!!!!!!!

zeuser replies on Jan 24, 2023:

Not a sin!

Rev up your engine!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 23, 2023:

*sighs* The word "macaroni" when the song was written was English slang for something good or wonderful....

zeuser replies on Jan 23, 2023:

@Lizard_of_Ahaz Good! LOL

Rev up your engine!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 23, 2023:

*sighs* The word "macaroni" when the song was written was English slang for something good or wonderful....

zeuser replies on Jan 23, 2023:

That's comedian's license, similar to poetic license, but done purely for the sake of a gag.

When you let the perps investigate themselves.

glennlab comments on Jan 22, 2023:

I'm pretty sure Alito was the source of the leak to try and take some heat off when it actually came out. It wasn't his first leak.

zeuser replies on Jan 23, 2023:

I think you're right. That guy is evil, a coward, a medieval thinker, and he looks like smegma smells. IMHO of course. 😠

That's six of one....

joeandbarb comments on Jan 22, 2023:

Prism, light sentence! I hate to say it but I wont be able to stop myself from telling that joke sometime today.

zeuser replies on Jan 22, 2023:

Good! Humor is meant to be shared.

...and a half dozen of the other...

RusselHappy comments on Jan 22, 2023:

Rappers might actually see this as a new fashion trend- Remember the time when hip hoppers wore loose pants to expose their underwear/buttocks? 🤔

zeuser replies on Jan 22, 2023:

Just a matter of time, I guess.

It is sometimes my privilege to bring some international sensibilities to this site.

glennlab comments on Jan 20, 2023:

Thanks for classing up the joint!

zeuser replies on Jan 20, 2023:

De nada.

Just because it's Friday, here are some of my extras.

glennlab comments on Jan 20, 2023:

She doesn't know how wrong she is.

zeuser replies on Jan 20, 2023:

Looks to me like she is out of options.

Some are kind of tasteless but then so is the orange stain.

zeuser comments on Jan 20, 2023:

Yeah, I'd vote for the leakage. And David Hogg deserves a lot of credit for his balls in the face of ignorant gunsuckers.

zeuser replies on Jan 20, 2023:

@glennlab That's cuz repubs lie to pollsters. LOL

MAGAts worm their way into the body politic 🪰

of-the-mountain comments on Jan 20, 2023:

When these Obstructionist regressive republican fascists gain full support from the 121 congressmen and senators that planned, organized, supervised, sponsored, and took direct involvement in the 6th January insurrection!!! The republicans party is nothing but an overt criminal organization owned...

zeuser replies on Jan 20, 2023:

Yeah, you're right.

I find your lack of faith....disturbing.

CurmudgeonBoy comments on Jan 20, 2023:

Do they serve children?

zeuser replies on Jan 20, 2023:

Only if you can prove you are an atheist. ;)

Tom terrific is struggling these days.

glennlab comments on Jan 20, 2023:

He must have been a really bad dog.

zeuser replies on Jan 20, 2023:

Five to nine for pissing on a hydrant. Luckily, that's roughly one human year. ;)

Trump and lawyer sanctioned almost $1 million for ‘frivolous’ lawsuit against Hillary Clinton

OldGoat43 comments on Jan 20, 2023:

The old blond schmuck is starting to regret his evil ways.

zeuser replies on Jan 20, 2023:

No he's not.

Help wanted: Stand up people only.

glennlab comments on Jan 19, 2023:

That last one scared me the 4 trump years.

zeuser replies on Jan 19, 2023:

Me too. We all survived, but the question is, for what?

Breakfast is what you make it.

zeuser comments on Jan 19, 2023:

The fourth bowl will be cereal. Or maybe pizza. Heh.

zeuser replies on Jan 19, 2023:

@AnneWimsey After three bowls first thing in the morning, anything in the fridge or on the table is fair game.

Musical humor.

joeandbarb comments on Jan 18, 2023:

Poor Jerry Lee Lewis.. I guess those kind of things happen when you marry your under age cousin

zeuser replies on Jan 18, 2023:

I'm thinking those great balls of fire have an insect-related cause, but that is just speculation.

Musical humor.

jeshuey comments on Jan 18, 2023:

Kinda makes ya wonder what the horse called him.

zeuser replies on Jan 18, 2023:

We'd need to get that straight from the horse's mouth. My guess would be "Lardass".

Clean underwear can save your life.

HankSherman comments on Jan 18, 2023:

Why is there one that stands out in particular??

zeuser replies on Jan 18, 2023:

Personally, I like 'em all.

What does an AI roll since it doesn't have eyes?

glennlab comments on Jan 17, 2023:

phone for a modern princess.

zeuser replies on Jan 17, 2023:

@glennlab Well, not for ALL boys. ;)

The difference should be obvious.

OldGoat43 comments on Jan 17, 2023:

Donny boy probably saw it as an opportunity to make a few million extra bucks on the side... Or maybe wield an extra dose of power among foreign brokers.

zeuser replies on Jan 17, 2023:

I predict he will still try to use what he has left to blackmail the US. I don't think it will work, but he will try.

What does an AI roll since it doesn't have eyes?

glennlab comments on Jan 17, 2023:

phone for a modern princess.

zeuser replies on Jan 17, 2023:

A princess phone. Remember those? A mark of affluence and status for girls when I was growing up.

Clean underwear can save your life.

silverotter11 comments on Jan 16, 2023:

The last one - hahahaha!

zeuser replies on Jan 16, 2023:

It's a funny -not funny gag.

Never a borrower nor a lender be. Especially not the good bra.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 16, 2023:

One question.... why?

zeuser replies on Jan 16, 2023:

She probably paid a fair amount for it, societal nudity standards aside.

Clean underwear can save your life.

Betty comments on Jan 16, 2023:

You don't need 30 seconds in my head to get freaked out.

zeuser replies on Jan 16, 2023:

Now I wanna see! 😜

That's the truth.

vocaloldfart comments on Jan 15, 2023:

But this is the very basis of our civilisation. The scientific community regulates what is being read, debated and discussed. One dare not go against the accepted paradigms. This is also true in education, medicine, government and industry etc

zeuser replies on Jan 15, 2023:

I don't know if I'd call that the basis of our civilization. But I agree with Heinlein. If someone or some community forbids you reading certain things, that's wrong, and it never ends well.

A silver lining hidden in the cloud containing the end of the world.

glennlab comments on Jan 15, 2023:

I've got to agree with Gemma.

zeuser replies on Jan 15, 2023:

If not the first thing, it's still in the top three.

Something I remember everytime I visit there

zeuser comments on Jan 15, 2023:

It could maybe be philly guys seeing what other people call a cheese steak.

zeuser replies on Jan 15, 2023:

@glennlab We are talking about being judgmental, but I take your point. 😉

BREAKING NEWS. This man is a person of interest in the FAA computer failure on Wednesday. 😁

Sierra4 comments on Jan 13, 2023:

His supervisor has already resigned.

zeuser replies on Jan 13, 2023:

"Looks like I picked a bad day to quit heroin."

It's a burden we all must bear occasionally.

glennlab comments on Jan 12, 2023:

Whole new meaning to hitting bottom.

zeuser replies on Jan 12, 2023:

Well yeah, for some of us. ;)

The kiss of death.

joeandbarb comments on Jan 11, 2023:

McCarthy wont last through Feb

zeuser replies on Jan 12, 2023:

@joeandbarb Great scenario assuming we can survive two years of constant destructive fuckwittery. I guess we gotta try.

Sometimes, you just have to speak up.

tinkercreek comments on Jan 11, 2023:

Hahaha, what a great set! BUT “stay fresh, cheese bags” 😅😅😂😂🤣🤣😃

zeuser replies on Jan 12, 2023:

For a PG audience with an R undertone.

The kiss of death.

joeandbarb comments on Jan 11, 2023:

McCarthy wont last through Feb

zeuser replies on Jan 11, 2023:

The question is who do we get next, and will they be any better?

These are hilarious because you can tell they are all based on experience. 🤪

Betty comments on Jan 10, 2023:

These are great. Thank you so much for the laugh. :)

zeuser replies on Jan 10, 2023:

The kids made the suggestions. But you're welcome

Never hurts to ask.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jan 10, 2023:

Except I'd expect William to be the coke head, wife cheater.

zeuser replies on Jan 10, 2023:

I bet you most of them take a bump from time to time. I'm talking the good stuff, too.

Almost two years to the day of the January 6th coup attempt in the USA and a few days after a ...

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2023:

The question makes an unnecessary distinction between the most rabid repubs and cults. They are essentially the same thing.

zeuser replies on Jan 10, 2023:

@JonnaBononna Good point.

Just a suggestion.

LucyLoohoo comments on Jan 10, 2023:

Maybe he needs to try another activity?

zeuser replies on Jan 10, 2023:

That is another great suggestion.

Just a suggestion.

Betty comments on Jan 10, 2023:

Someone is not enjoying themselves.

zeuser replies on Jan 10, 2023:

Doesn't look like either one is having a good time.

Always happens this time of year.

Betty comments on Jan 9, 2023:

I enjoyed these. Thank you. :)

zeuser replies on Jan 9, 2023:

My pleasure. ;)

He should carry a rasp for just these situations.

Betty comments on Jan 9, 2023:

Thank you. Another fun set. :)

zeuser replies on Jan 9, 2023:

You're welcome. I like this set too!

Truth from George.

dalefvictor comments on Jan 8, 2023:

Can I now falsify a mess of diplomas and place them on a wall and stand in front of it showing people just how smart I am?

zeuser replies on Jan 8, 2023:

Sure. If you want them to believe you though, you have to show that you know something about what the diplomas say.

Consider this your final exam.

Betty comments on Jan 8, 2023:

Good funny set. Thank you.

zeuser replies on Jan 8, 2023:

Thanks, Betty.

Rep.

Redheadedgammy comments on Jan 7, 2023:

What a darling baby boy! 😍

zeuser replies on Jan 8, 2023:

I'd volunteer to baby sit that little booger.

[tiktok.com] Bcz when u know , u know ✌🏻

mcgeo52 comments on Jan 8, 2023:

“Vote ‘Present’ or we cancel the prom at your girlfriend’s high school.”

zeuser replies on Jan 8, 2023:

That had to hit home. I hear he already rented the tux.

Check yourself....

RusselHappy comments on Jan 6, 2023:

Got a couple of very good jokes but the best one for me was the joke about paying for an unaffordable luxury house. I’ll laugh if I ever hear this from a real estate agent 👍😃

zeuser replies on Jan 8, 2023:

You'd need to find one who tells the truth.

A specialist is only good if their specialty comes up.

glennlab comments on Jan 7, 2023:

Poor Flip.

zeuser replies on Jan 8, 2023:

If his name was Bob Smith, the grim reaper probably would have paid closer attention. LOL

Piling on Kevin just one more time.

OldGoat43 comments on Jan 7, 2023:

965 people have been charged with crimes from Jan.6

zeuser replies on Jan 7, 2023:

@OldGoat43 And not by law, by monetary privilege. 🤬

Piling on Kevin just one more time.

OldGoat43 comments on Jan 7, 2023:

965 people have been charged with crimes from Jan.6

zeuser replies on Jan 7, 2023:

Should be at least 3 times that many, including members of congress and Trump's staff.

Some of us were a little embarrassed

glennlab comments on Jan 7, 2023:

Do they charge extra for the live sex show?

zeuser replies on Jan 7, 2023:

It's cheap, the elephants work for peanuts.

I recently spent $6,500 on this registered Black Angus bull.

waitingforgodo comments on Jan 6, 2023:

Tastes like peppermint, smells like incense, but friends said I had a cow of a time at the music festival. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rw1_FNdy-Y

zeuser replies on Jan 7, 2023:

I have the original vinyl of this and other greatest hits of the SAC. Very nostalgic.