So I woke up and my dog is laying on the back patio covered in dirt with a rabbit in his mouth.

EricJones comments on May 4, 2023:

Easter came late this year.

The same throughout the history

EricJones comments on May 4, 2023:

AR-15's are much faster and more popular. They're always on the front page of the newspaper.

Don't flatter yourself Bud

EricJones comments on May 4, 2023:

I think she's cute too, but lets not rush things ok?

He is goal focused.

EricJones comments on May 4, 2023:

Maybe he's a science major.

It stresses men out

EricJones comments on May 4, 2023:

Does make it easier for the dog(s) to get a drink.

Germans work hard, just look at this

EricJones comments on May 4, 2023:

Smarter than most of the high school grads in this country.

"Our judges are as honest as other men and not more so.

EricJones comments on May 4, 2023:

The scales of justice seem to be very tilted toward party and now religion too. The conservative catholics on the supreme court seem to be voting catholic law, not federal law.

The First of May...

EricJones comments on May 1, 2023:

I went to michigan state and one may first was #1. Howling wind, wicked cold-I don't think it made it out of the 30's all day.

A holy place of worship cannot be wrong

EricJones comments on May 1, 2023:

Does anybody proof read these things and think before they put them up? Or is that the whole idea.

Along the same lines as my previous post

EricJones comments on May 1, 2023:

I was gonna say this has to be related to the last post.

Times have changed, so has Jesus.

EricJones comments on May 1, 2023:

More like redneck jesus.

This is more useful in real life

EricJones comments on May 1, 2023:

Does it come with a loaf of bread?

Creative Artwork

EricJones comments on May 1, 2023:

Does hulk lift and lower the lid for everyone? Or is it just a reminder for guys to put the lid down for their spouse.

Rest in chaos, Jerry.

EricJones comments on May 1, 2023:

He wouldn't have it any other way.

Mostly asshole…

EricJones comments on Apr 30, 2023:

If that's a small, closed room that idiot is going to get a taste of his own stupidity.

Inquiring minds want to know, do they protest too much?

EricJones comments on Apr 30, 2023:

Go for the low hanging fruit. Besides most of them are probably adulterers anyway.

Why I am an atheist.

EricJones comments on Apr 30, 2023:

Especially when it's mid-service and full of people.

Praise the.....

EricJones comments on Apr 12, 2023:

Now that robert has cte, maybe they should pray for that.

Be careful what you ask for...

EricJones comments on Apr 12, 2023:

Especially at a vampire convention.

The day the laughter died.... Al Jaffee passes away at 102 years of age.

EricJones comments on Apr 10, 2023:

His kind are few and far between. He was a true original. Rest in peace.

Just so you know

EricJones comments on Apr 10, 2023:

Once you you read the first line, the rest is just a waste of ink, because roughly 90% of the population already knows the rest. The other 10% of the population have never been married.

Easter finale...

EricJones comments on Apr 10, 2023:

Cute

Not bragging or anything....

EricJones comments on Apr 10, 2023:

I don't think that's something you should be putting on your resume.

Thinly veiled threat.

EricJones comments on Apr 9, 2023:

It's going to be hard finding a lot of people who don't know who Alex Trebek was, and he was still young in that ad. And the answer is "what is milk"

Steal this unique idea for tonight

EricJones comments on Apr 8, 2023:

Does "X" mark the spot?

Happy good friday

EricJones comments on Apr 8, 2023:

He's an idiot-I'd tell her 3 hours. I'm not giving her a chance to get away

Schrodinger Plates?

EricJones comments on Apr 6, 2023:

I think I would place some pillows on the floor before I go for the save on this one.

Agnostics, look what we've done. Now Jebus is telling his father.

EricJones comments on Apr 6, 2023:

He's all talk and no action.

That's gotta hurt.

EricJones comments on Apr 6, 2023:

Thats why I go barefoot.

Every issue ..

EricJones comments on Apr 6, 2023:

And the rest of it is clothing ads with skin over bone models.

EricJones comments on Apr 6, 2023:

I'm keeping away from this family.

Happy Wednesday, hope you all have a great evening!

EricJones comments on Apr 6, 2023:

Peeps are made about 20 miles from me and if you use them for communion, you're gonna need a liter of wine to wash them down. As far as anybody growing up to be president-trump never grew up.

OK, I'm confused, did I get this from here or am I posting it here.......lol

EricJones comments on Apr 6, 2023:

Works for me.

I have sympathy for the guy.

EricJones comments on Apr 6, 2023:

Just check for termites every month or so.

A vision of loveliness.

EricJones comments on Apr 6, 2023:

Beauty is in the eyes of the person with good vision.

It used to be occasionally, now it's almost every day.

EricJones comments on Apr 6, 2023:

Every time I hear an interview with some ultra conservative or maga nutcase.

Never mind Jesus' resurrection. You are never too old for Easter eggs. 😁

EricJones comments on Apr 5, 2023:

Easter monday is a great day-all the chocolate is half price.

Ok, this is totally wrong

EricJones comments on Apr 5, 2023:

Sometimes you have to be a bit more specific

Sorry, sorry!

EricJones comments on Apr 5, 2023:

Was he in the horror section or the cookbook section?

We need a positive attitude

EricJones comments on Apr 5, 2023:

The street in front of my house would be a forest.

Finish the sentence...

EricJones comments on Apr 5, 2023:

We can't say that because we've never had a woman lead this country, at least so far.

An english man visits Scotland The English man checks into his room at the inn and fancies a ...

EricJones comments on Apr 4, 2023:

Why do Scots wear kilts? Sheep can hear zippers.

I've just got to tag @pralina1, who has done the overnights for years now.

EricJones comments on Apr 4, 2023:

I agree. I just retired after working into the wee hours for 40 years and that's not happening. My partner would call me around 4 am every day for the last 5 years, even the when she was in hospital for the last 2 months of her life, and she would talk 20-30 minutes and not say anything. And I'm trying to get to bed.

“We must look beneath every stone, lest it conceal some politician ready to sting us.

EricJones comments on Apr 4, 2023:

I think politician is the correct term for this day and age.

The good old days....

EricJones comments on Apr 3, 2023:

That's the problem with getting old-you look back and realize"I can't do that any more".

Full credit

EricJones comments on Apr 2, 2023:

They did follow the instructions as written.

Is it Russian made?

EricJones comments on Apr 2, 2023:

Rednecks joining the war effort?

Phones are really busy.

EricJones comments on Apr 2, 2023:

Only until I get into your office.

Yeah, right

EricJones comments on Apr 2, 2023:

Get used to sleeping on the sofa dude.

Works for me…

EricJones comments on Apr 2, 2023:

Sooner or later ya gotta turn the lights back on.

The real story the Bible hid from you

EricJones comments on Apr 2, 2023:

I have #13 living in my garage. Was born under my porch last fall, and moved into the garage when it got cold to over winter with some of my outside cats.

Be reasonable yo!

EricJones comments on Apr 2, 2023:

From the looks of the background it's not going to matter much anyway.

I became a believer

EricJones comments on Apr 2, 2023:

At least from this angle.

“It’s not just the books under fire now that worry me.

EricJones comments on Apr 2, 2023:

In my area a lot of extreme right nut cases are trying to get on school boards just so they can get control of the schools and force them to teach an extreme right agenda.

Hay, I think it's funny!

EricJones comments on Apr 2, 2023:

And don't forget to give him a 5 gallon container of vaseline, so when the other inmates pin his ass to the floor

I know it's wrong, but....;

EricJones comments on Apr 2, 2023:

Boom.

I'm just sayin, anything for a holiday.

EricJones comments on Apr 2, 2023:

Finally, a saint worth worshiping.

Yeah, just sayin...

EricJones comments on Apr 2, 2023:

I worked in pharmacy for 40+ years-metric is easier. I also use a metric tape measure, again easier

Official fast food of the right wing.

EricJones comments on Apr 1, 2023:

So that's how he fed the multitudes-snuck a few family buckets in the back door.

Technically...

EricJones comments on Apr 1, 2023:

As long as it involves god or the church, it's not porn.

Legal problems...

EricJones comments on Apr 1, 2023:

That's a good one.

April Fool!

EricJones comments on Apr 1, 2023:

That would have been fun, especially since the camera that was supposed to record the first step didn't deploy right and nobody could see what was happening. Heart attacks all around.

Hey, here's a tweet from Jagger!

EricJones comments on Apr 1, 2023:

Abby road is so true. I put a you tube video on for my birds of a walking tour of Tokyo. I kept seeing young couples walking, holding hands, and with cell phones in the other hand glued to their faces.

“That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the ...

EricJones comments on Mar 30, 2023:

Ain't that the truth

I can verify this post's content.

EricJones comments on Mar 30, 2023:

When one gets sore, just switch to the other.

Posting one for all those indignant women.

EricJones comments on Mar 30, 2023:

That also could accidents because of very distracted drivers.

Looks like home!

EricJones comments on Mar 30, 2023:

Putting the urinals together with the sink, interesting idea.

That's what happens when you try to date two women,

EricJones comments on Mar 30, 2023:

Or maybe it was Jake and you weren't talking insurance.....

He tried to warn them to no avail

EricJones comments on Mar 30, 2023:

That's the problem with historical movies-everybody already knows how it's going to end.

My new reading list

EricJones comments on Mar 30, 2023:

Nice ones.

The Popey is a rapper

EricJones comments on Mar 29, 2023:

Vanilla ice has some competition.

Who would have thunk it...

EricJones comments on Mar 29, 2023:

Mine just kock stuff off the counters and shelving.

In between, we garden.

EricJones comments on Mar 29, 2023:

My mother and grandfather came to this country from England after the war. If there's one thing the English are known for, it's planting a garden. It's in my DNA.

　　　　　　　　　　　　　

EricJones comments on Mar 29, 2023:

That's why I have all the ev's in my house on the same channel. I can do things and still catch the movie. If I sit down to watch, it's game over, I'm out.

What was it like growing up?

EricJones comments on Mar 29, 2023:

I think a few daddies have anger issues.

My salad diet is not going as planned, so I just lie about it.

EricJones comments on Mar 28, 2023:

It's all in how you word it.

That's how I like it. Simply elite. 😆

EricJones comments on Mar 27, 2023:

Before I fry something I put a bit too much olive oil in the pan, then when it's ripping hot I place a slice of bread in the pan to fry and soak up the excess oil. Yum.

The difference between the geography of women and men

EricJones comments on Mar 27, 2023:

You'll get no argument from me.

Introverts can never unite, unless remotely…

EricJones comments on Mar 27, 2023:

I walked out of a bachelor party after about 10 minutes, so I agree with #1

I guess he didn't want to embarrass them.

EricJones comments on Mar 27, 2023:

Well, he's right

If they sewed the conductor's music sheets together as a prank, then the score would be tied, too.

EricJones comments on Mar 27, 2023:

I think Carl had a very sheltered childhood.

Such accolades to a pioneer in literature

EricJones comments on Mar 27, 2023:

If you're reading them you can use 2 hands. It's looking at the pictures that you only need one hand.

Location please. ;)

EricJones comments on Mar 27, 2023:

Just roll me up and smoke me when I die.

I prefer Chengiz Khan

EricJones comments on Mar 25, 2023:

The old testament god has more blood on his hands than adolf hitler but christians seem to forget that. And that's the god that jesus worshiped.

What's the rush?

EricJones comments on Mar 25, 2023:

Only because 3 bucks won't get you in the door at starbucks.

Mine is one of those tough old houses. 😆

EricJones comments on Mar 25, 2023:

Wallboard vs plaster. Not a fair fight.

You will see clearly

EricJones comments on Mar 25, 2023:

Just far enough below the line that you don't have to explain it to your little kids.

Always with the excuse...

EricJones comments on Mar 25, 2023:

The blame anybody else for the damage you did party.

Coming soon to a police station near you....

EricJones comments on Mar 25, 2023:

I can't wait until the other inmates pin his ass to the floor and shave off his comb over.

What a beautiful analogy! I get emotional.

EricJones comments on Mar 22, 2023:

Unless you're running for president and have to pay hush money and then get caught, and your wife finds out about it on the front page of the paper.

Let us not pray to be sheltered from dangers but to be fearless when facing them.

EricJones comments on Mar 22, 2023:

I used to be a volunteer firefighter. Here's to all those who run in when everybody else is running out. To all those in blue, olive drab, and anybody else who puts the saftey of others above their own.

🤣🤣🤣

EricJones comments on Mar 22, 2023:

Sparky, my shih tzu will sit outside in a thunderstorm, absolute downpour, and hates a bath.

So true, so true...

EricJones comments on Mar 22, 2023:

That's why I prefer potato chips. I have a cat that does that. He picks his wet food up with his paw and then eats it and then licks his paw.

The plan did not pan out as planned.

EricJones comments on Mar 22, 2023:

He'll probably use the stolen election defense. Claim he won by 100 million votes and that makes him president for life. Which should be enough for his lawyer to plead insanity, which trump already proved he is. And when he gets out, he'll have a job as a viagra spokesperson.

Yes, they deserve much better. 😆

EricJones comments on Mar 13, 2023:

If califorina grapes/raisins can have "I heard it through the grapevine", why can't potatoes have "I only have eyes for you"?

They don't get it either by the look of it.

EricJones comments on Mar 13, 2023:

Pete and Repete

A big wet mess.

EricJones comments on Mar 13, 2023:

Florida and Texas idea of sex ed.

One of my humor gurus when I was a whipper snapper.

EricJones comments on Mar 13, 2023:

They could and did lampoon anything and everything they could and it was clean humor. They deflated a lot of egos.First thing I did was go to the back cover and try to figure it out, then fold it. Happy 102 and many more.

Just remember this

EricJones comments on Mar 11, 2023:

It takes a brave man to have a hangover.

So stupid they can't even tell when they are being openly mocked...

EricJones comments on Mar 11, 2023:

They're too stupid to know they're morons.