The perfect footwear for a day at the beach!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 10, 2021:

Bring real beer not that shit Redneck crap like Buttwiper...

"Ward, don't be so tough on the Beaver." "Mom, I'm Wally! Shit, you've been smoking my stash, too!"

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 10, 2021:

Every little bit helps when you are dealing with kids...

Still in a Friday state of mind...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 10, 2021:

Ahh yes I remember those days well...

At least this one never claimed he was a "stable genius"...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 10, 2021:

Prayer fail....

god i wish that were me.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 9, 2021:

Never underestimate us old fuckers we still know how to start a fire in the bedroom....

I like this tee shirt

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 9, 2021:

Question is where could they be deported to?... I can't think of any country stupid enough to take them....

Great sign should be more if them

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 9, 2021:

....................

Don't hire this guy to do your roof repair, your insurance rates will increase, and he will just be ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 9, 2021:

Jesus is that you?...

That's what happens when you've been sheltered and isolated for your whole life.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 9, 2021:

https://youtu.be/D0qDW9shiD8

Also, I'm slightly dishartened about how few people in CO are still active here.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 9, 2021:

Maybe you should consider looking around more and finding out about new places. If you did you might find Colorado isn't the end all be all place you seem to think it is now.

Our Government Is Creating A Cryptocurrency | What You MUST Know - YouTube

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 9, 2021:

Credit cards are a form of crypto currency... so is what is in your bank account. Most people don't realize what a crypto currency is and think crap like "BitCoin" is a good investment. News flash it isn't while bank accounts are insured against losses by the government bit coin is not. Private crypto currencies have zero value and are a scam and many of these are being run up in price by billionaires who will then cash out and devalue them leaving the gullible stuck with a bunch of worthless ones and zeros in the cloud.

Gonna need extra TP after that!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 8, 2021:

Has to be better than the book "Chicken soup for the soul" I wouldn't even use that one to wipe my ass with for fear of a horrendous rash....

Well, maybe that and several million dollars

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 8, 2021:

Oddly I wrote a paper on religion and how it affects people a few years back which was picked up to be taught in a class on sociology maybe I should have asked for an honorary degree?...

Follow me for more dating tips

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 7, 2021:

Find me in the fertilizer isle.....

Two sleezeballs

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 7, 2021:

Must have been Jello shots....

It's not all just Florida man

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 7, 2021:

Newsflash those are in the men's department at a Floriduh Walmart near you.....

To those who don't like door to door salesmen... (coming to a town near you)

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 7, 2021:

Big Pharma should be socialized and the profits used for research instead of lining billionaires pockets instead of looting the economy for billions every year by inflating their prices for medications people need but can't afford because their health insurance refuses to cover it.... Same goes for health insurance. #MedicareForAll would give us more hospitals, more doctors and nurses, better coverage and no medical bankruptcies...

Pray for rain

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 5, 2021:

I would be happy to stop by and piss on it for them...

If something here offends you

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 5, 2021:

If I haven't managed to offend you yet please be patient I will get around to you sooner or later....

I like turtles...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 4, 2021:

So did you want to bring your girlfriend on a date along with us?...

Dawkins would be proud...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 4, 2021:

Being an atheist only means believing in one less god than they do....

Yes, if done right!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 4, 2021:

If she doesn't want the sex why does she want the guys?...

Hell, Caesar...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 4, 2021:

At least he got the point....

This is so true! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 3, 2021:

And so many men wonder why women get involved with guys like that and then say we are all the same...

now you tell me

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 3, 2021:

Punctuation and spelling is at times more important than grammar....

Be a fun-loving twister. 😉

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 3, 2021:

Insanity is the best defense against a hostile world...

Fun exercise

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 3, 2021:

I'll go for beaver but not squirrel....

“I’m alright.” Really

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 3, 2021:

Damn it thanks to you I ended up having "second breakfast" and it didn't taste all that good the first time....

Always better to ask for forgiveness than permission???

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 3, 2021:

..........................

& don't bring up "Cults of Personality" like Stalin's Communism or Mao's Cultural Revolution.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 3, 2021:

Mao was a Buddhist and also believed in I Ching while Stalin was not the dictator he was made out to be he was a part of a committee which ended up assassinating him for actually trying to put more power into the hands of the people. The Royals had never allowed power to people which was the driving force behind the revolution to begin with. The problem with revolutions is that power once attained is not easily surrendered. Also Stalin was raised and educated Orthodox Catholic as well as creating the first public hospital system Russia ever had saving millions of lives. He was a complex personality and not what so many false historians of the McCarthy era made him out to be. Yes he had his bad points in trying to keep royalists and the church from taking back the power they had lost many people did die, but he also had his good points and many of the deaths he was blamed for were actually caused by others like Hitler and the committee... Oddly many of the deaths blamed on Stalin happened after his death which makes it ridiculous to blame them on him...

Sorry from fb but not bad [scontent.fbne6-1.fna.fbcdn.net]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 3, 2021:

No religion is peaceful... It takes a peaceful person to promote peace and a fool to promote war as a solution... "Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel" Samuel Johnson "Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent." Issac Asimov

Is this what is meant by "funny, not funny"???

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 2, 2021:

Problem we have is that the Moderates in the DNC help them keep control more often than not...

PSA for summertime

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 2, 2021:

Had to snake that one in there didn't you?...

Free Britney

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 2, 2021:

And people saying his going to prison was "an injustice" not because he didn't do it but because his lawyer is claiming that he had an immunity deal with the previous prosecutor that was never put in writing.... I guess we are going to start seeing a lot of this new "Cosby defense" just like we saw a rash of the "Twinkie defense" with Harvey Milk.... From "it wasn't me it was the Twinkies" to "it wasn't me it was the Puddin..."

Y'all know who you are, BFD just so you enjoy them.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 1, 2021:

Same here....

Adjusting to my business. So accurate.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 1, 2021:

Forgot to add in "or have a tendency to drink your meals and snacks..."

Drama Queens

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 1, 2021:

Summer vacation is school was invented for exploiting children as a labor source...

Got to love the marketing genius

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 1, 2021:

Pity the country is so corrupt.

Circle of life... sort of

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 1, 2021:

People are afraid of my cat because he is rather large and he has been known to slap the shit out of dogs even a pitbull.... Cats being afraid of dogs is a myth....

My dating profile attracts most of these

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 1, 2021:

When you are looking for an angel fish but all you find are dog fish....

Diseased ones, at that!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 1, 2021:

The Republican party has been a bag of dicks ever since Tricky Dick and Joke McCarthy took over....

The absolutely very least...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 1, 2021:

............................

Taking the easy way out

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 30, 2021:

Amazing how many people buy Hall's cough drops who can't spell what they are made from....

It's like Vegas except instead of losing a few grand you lose your life/freedom

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 30, 2021:

Gee sounds just like the GQP without the ability the Chinese have to build anything of value...

Love sharing this one when the Christians start preaching

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 30, 2021:

I get so tired of people telling me that by being an atheist I am "worshiping Satan" and when I tell them that to worship something you have to first believe in it they try telling me that "I just don't realize I am worshiping Satan..." They are unaware just how stupid they sound saying it too...

probably some repeats - probably some repeats

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 30, 2021:

........................

I just collect anything that brings even a quarter smile to my face

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 30, 2021:

Couple good ones in that set...

Look at them yo-yos.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 29, 2021:

https://youtu.be/0WPzFnZkZmI

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 28, 2021:

Better going between her legs....

Nuckin' Futs!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 28, 2021:

"Think of it as evolution in action..." Larry Niven

I think it's more like Bridge

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 28, 2021:

More like jumping out of a perfectly safe airplane with no parachute....

Real doggy treat

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 28, 2021:

Peeping Rover?...

Pilot lounge.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 28, 2021:

Where the pilots all get blind drunk....

CrossFit. Nailed it!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 28, 2021:

At the end of a long hard workout even Jebus needs some down time I guess....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 27, 2021:

Problem is that this is so common... Some women seem to enjoy messing with men's heads like this and then complain how they "can't find a decent guy..."

I have to agree!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 27, 2021:

Assbook is so full of shit anymore it isn't good enough to suck....

Follow me for more household tips

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 27, 2021:

......................

🤔😳👍🤪😴🥇🥇😎😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 27, 2021:

Just toss another kilo on the fire and that party is fucking lit....

Kissing Booth Trio...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 27, 2021:

Meanwhile in Oklahoma...

Well, they do have the same hair...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 27, 2021:

Probably wonders why all his kids are so good looking....

Can I at least get a thank you?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 26, 2021:

Thanks and how about one back?...

Some people get upset so easily

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 25, 2021:

If I still drove I would try this as a practical joke....

Yes, I'm an expert in being stupid. 😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 25, 2021:

And learned more crap the hard way...

I've got nothing to say... [dailymail.co.uk]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 25, 2021:

Seen this video before... unbelievable how many people both female and male who do stupid shit like this every day. I have seen it happen several times and every time I do I can't help but watch because it is like a train wreck you see it and can't help but watch even though you can't believe your eyes...

I never thought about this before. I guess I won't be donating this way anymore.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 25, 2021:

Donating it to charity?... probably not I bet the Waltons line their pockets with those "donations..."

They'd get just as dirty, but in a different way, as the ball pits in McD's...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 24, 2021:

https://youtu.be/D0qDW9shiD8

Wonder what the Right would make of this?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 24, 2021:

Probably breakfast....

I need the address for this place!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 24, 2021:

..................

When I was married, I made the comment to my wife that after shaving in the morning I felt 10 years ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 24, 2021:

People keep telling me how lucky I am to have 100% VA disability.... They can't understand why I tell them they can have it all for the last 40 plus years of my life back.

She must have been going way past when she just needed glasses

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 24, 2021:

.......................

Damned foreigners

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 24, 2021:

.........................

Just when you think you had enough..

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 24, 2021:

.....................

It could have been.. jeebus on a fucking cupcake.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 24, 2021:

She really loves it when I say "Jesus Fucking Christ at a Gay orgy..."

A good reminder for us all.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 23, 2021:

No the leading cause is doing stupid shit like that their whole lives.... Stuff like that makes you an old man really quickly I can tell you from experience...

WTF is this?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 23, 2021:

What it is happens to be Christians trying to make it all about them again....

Same name, different meanings!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 23, 2021:

Magic 8-ball?....

Another modern day remake.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 23, 2021:

Must have been Bearly There Goldilocks her cousin...

They really should have included this in the beatitudes

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 23, 2021:

Even more blessed are those who can laugh at the human race because we have an endless cornucopia of amusement....

Probably fake, but nice to see a busybody get what they deserve

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 23, 2021:

Karma is a real bitch ain't she?...

A modern day remake.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 23, 2021:

Give a cat a roll of paper towels and you will have an endless supply of confetti....

Ménage à squirrel? Q. does this violate the 'no porn' rule?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 23, 2021:

Redneck porn?...

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 23, 2021:

Now that the pandemic is ending and people like Bezos are still buying super yachts I feel the time is right after all one yacht at a time and you can build a fleet...

Deep thoughts with Ernie!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 22, 2021:

Kind of a waste cooking her.....

Very weird! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 22, 2021:

Well to be truthful McDonald's food tastes like shit so this toy does fit in quite well...

The teacher told me

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 22, 2021:

People with guns kill people....

She was awarded half of everything. 50/50 split.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 22, 2021:

"Life in Mississippi" By Mark Twine....

Strange how prevention works

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 22, 2021:

Three are still in the hospital and the mortality rate for this outbreak so far is 40% This just took place and Floriduh still hasn't reported deaths or infections for the last few weeks...

More hypocrisy from the Left

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 22, 2021:

More stupidity from the far Reich....

But ossifer, it's medical. I have a doctor's note.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 22, 2021:

Hey where did you get that picture of my cat?...

WOW!!!! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 22, 2021:

Trying this again it seems to be a problem link.... https://youtu.be/ryxY4wK76-I

So much 🙄🙄🙄

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 22, 2021:

Light bulbs are a government conspiracy so they won't use them....

Fuck the Police!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 21, 2021:

Best use it could possibly be put to I am sure...

So, why do you think Texas has such a lower proportion of Corona Virus vs.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 21, 2021:

Actually it is your lower population and political posturing that makes it seems as if your numbers are lower. When you look at those numbers Texas reports by population you will find Texas has higher numbers both in numbers of cases and number of deaths and it is pretty obvious that Texas way under reports their real numbers.

If you can't sell it for its original use, make up a new one

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 21, 2021:

....................

Preposterous!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 21, 2021:

Well postprediliction to you....

Wise advice.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 21, 2021:

I shave my head because hair implants look ridiculous and I refuse to look like a white haired Bozo...

George: the misunderstanding.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 21, 2021:

Of course the retraction was only after poor George was admitted to the ER and his wife arrested for attempted Homicide....

here’s some more

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 21, 2021:

That last one is so accurate for people who think they can treat a cat just like they treat their dog....

I’ve been gathering these

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 21, 2021:

I always loved Groucho Marx his comebacks were superb and he was never at a loss for words...

Going for quantity and not necessarily quality

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 21, 2021:

That last one for me is just a normal part of life these days....