I think we should make that the "easter movie" like we made Die Hard the xmas movie.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 20, 2025:

Japan is Taco Bell's idea of heaven....

If Julius Caesar had been from New Orleans would he have said etouffee Brutus?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 20, 2025:

Probably something more like "toi aussi" Brutus...

That explains the rainbow glow..

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 19, 2025:

I want that lamp....

Can someone call me a taxi?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 18, 2025:

Aren't youtube videos wonderful?... I knew someone a while back that saw one on how to make diamonds in a microwave using just charcoal, peanut butter and gasoline.... Unsurprisingly she blew up the microwave. I am not making this up.

Dog shaming, I doubt he cares.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 18, 2025:

Yep and we drank in the school library....

Today I noticed that my windows were dirty so I threw my computer into the washer.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 18, 2025:

I bet that cleaned the viruses off your hard drive...

It is what I do best...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 18, 2025:

Ah my favorite hobby and something I have never met anyone better at than I am.... Simply by using facts...

There is one place left where I get the chance to do this.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 17, 2025:

Those dictionaries hurt when they hit...

The day after tax day celebration....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 16, 2025:

So his name was Shit Dick?....

Damn!!! Look at the doughboys ass!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 16, 2025:

Boy I bet he makes a lot of dough....

That shit never comes out.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 15, 2025:

Do they still take lions and tigers?.... Oh my...

I wonder how much extra it cost for the peephole.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 14, 2025:

Or even worse a mongoose....

Faith-based personal finance.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 11, 2025:

Good way to leave it with a broker.... That way he doesn't steal it or lose it all...

Atheist universe-- real id and social security

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 11, 2025:

I have real ID, Login.gov and direct deposit...

Oh yeah? I "love" you too, asshole.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 10, 2025:

Ahh the life of a big pharma researcher.... 5 cents of chemicals, 25 cents in marketing and a penny's worth of research equals $5,000 a pill...

Everyday is a struggle but I'm trying! 😁

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 10, 2025:

The only ones "persecuting" Christians are other Christians and the people Christians persecute....

Maybe trying Eddie out at first base is a better idea.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 9, 2025:

Mole man.... He's our catcher...

Deport those lazy martians!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 8, 2025:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-ptgNVvugg=JayReed

It starts with a back rub.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 8, 2025:

That is what you call "rubbing her the wrong way..."

It starts with a back rub.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 8, 2025:

She ended up with the deluxe rub...

Deport those lazy martians!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 8, 2025:

So many financial planners working for Uber eats these days...

The second part shows cross pollination.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 6, 2025:

Les bee n porn....

I guess that's where the "arm" part comes from...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 5, 2025:

Taking eat me to a whole new level....

..........

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 4, 2025:

You hear that Trump voters?.... You deserve it.

You gotta use whatever skills you have to beat Johnny Law!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 4, 2025:

Oh that last one fits Trumpanzees like @alienbeing perfectly...

My head hurts, it's been a day!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 4, 2025:

https://youtu.be/5bwc3a1O9lY?si=tmdGzL9AJ14vZQfG

A real stem-winder...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 3, 2025:

Never had any fucks to give...

AND, they don't call him "Honest Abe" for nothing! 😁

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 2, 2025:

Actually he got the moniker "Honest Abe" because as a referee for cock fights he was considered to be extremely unbiased....

..............

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 2, 2025:

People and their phones these days...

AND, they don't call him "Honest Abe" for nothing! 😁

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 2, 2025:

The only thing people watch the Dallas Cowboys for are their cheerleaders...

Is it already??? Time is going by fast!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 1, 2025:

Surprised they didn't have that warning on the menu...

Here are a few I never got around to posting last year. Hope you like 'em.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 1, 2025:

"History is written by the victors..." Both Trump and Putin are in very deep shit then aren't they?....

But to be honest, I sort of dig great Uncle Billy Goat. I have a goatee, too. LOL

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 31, 2025:

DonOld Dumbass history lesson...And oh the hilarity continues.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye03wwtK3a4=I%27veHadIt

I hope I can get some sleep tonight!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 31, 2025:

75 MPH?... Must be in the slow lane...

We don't have enough beaver jokes here, so I thought I'd help out. LOL

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 30, 2025:

That wasn't pizza they served it was a giant soda cracker with spoiled ketchup and wax on it...

I've been going through a lot this week, I'm starting to feel normal again!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 29, 2025:

Balancing where?...

Binary punchline.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 29, 2025:

...

Pro tip: put on waterproof clothes before you poop.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 28, 2025:

Try the farm down the road....

It's been a very tough week!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 28, 2025:

Christian Metal is almost as bad as regular Christian Rock....

Better than tiresome, I guess.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 27, 2025:

You damned near needed a forklift to move those from one room to another...

I think he'll enjoy the part about knotty knot holes.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 26, 2025:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0udRQkHDsiM=PatrickFitzgerald=0

I think he'll enjoy the part about knotty knot holes.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 26, 2025:

Each death is an individual extinction event...

Technically, it's "longerant". But that's not funny.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 25, 2025:

Having an artistic child is so much fun....

Sometimes, you don't need any more amazing shit.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 24, 2025:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajEOZ4tBqjQ=ThomasNicolai

Sometimes, you don't need any more amazing shit.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 24, 2025:

Why I call them "dumbphones..."

In the spring a young mans fancy turns to thoughts of what bracket is my team in, what are they ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 23, 2025:

Thankfully I have no interest in watching grown men who are being paid huge sums of money to play with their balls.... If I was I would watch a gay porn site.

With trump and musk gutting the weather service and especially the hurricane hunters near the ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 22, 2025:

Maybe he doesn't like it when they forcast his speeches... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3hyN_z22Mc=TrendFeed

I thought that's where Australians wash their hands.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 21, 2025:

The question remains.... Is that an island atoll....

I guess HIPPA serves a legitimate purpose.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 20, 2025:

Danny are you getting high again?...

I like big balls, he likes big balls.....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 19, 2025:

The easy way to judge size is the more they brag the less they have to brag about...

I was wondering if the 2 NASA astronauts got paid time and half for all the extra time they spent on...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 18, 2025:

...

I was wondering if the 2 NASA astronauts got paid time and half for all the extra time they spent on...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 18, 2025:

It only seems fair but if they are military that doesn't happen....

More than just the village idiot!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 18, 2025:

The senders made these public. They were reproduced this weekend in the Washington Post Sent: Thursday, Feb. 13, 2025, 8:00 AM To: Visit Lauderdale Subject: Canadian Visitor I am 61 years old. Since I was a child, Florida has been a travel destination for my family. Miami, Ft Lauderdale, Clearwater, The Keys, etc..... My family, my friends, my neighbors, and a great many Canadians will be boycotting all travel not only to Florida but all American destinations. This is sad but necessary since your president has insulted all Canadians and stated that the US does not need Canada. He threatened our livelihood and more recently our sovereignty. Thank you for some of my best memories Sent: Monday, Feb. 10, 2025, 12:12 PM To: Travel Oregon Subject: A note from your neighbour, Canada My partner and I love visiting Oregon, especially the coast. We love the endless beaches, the spectacular scenery, we love how dog friendly you are and we love your beer too. This year we planned another visit to the Oregon coast, spending a bit longer than we normally would, and invited close friends to come along with us. Unfortunately, due to the rhetoric of the President of the United States in regards to our home, Canada, we are cancelling our trip. After such a long and prosperous relationship, I can tell you that we feel betrayed by our southern friends. We will miss our visit and spending money in your lovely state. As a Canadian, it’s my duty to say “Sorry,” but I’m not sure I mean it. Sent: Tuesday, March 4, 2025, 7:34 AM To: Alouette Beach Resort Subject: RE: News from Quebec - Vacation 2025 in OOB - cancelling plans As you know, our family has been a faithful group visiting Old Orchard [Beach in Maine] over the past 20 years or so However, considering the actual context prevailing in the US with the new president, the tariffs and sanctions he and his administration have decided to impose on our beautiful and friendly country, we do not feel that it’s the right time to book our summer vacations. We are sorry to change our plans but it is one of the ways we choose to manifest our opposition to what is happening in the US. Unfortunately, we do not feel as the longtime friends we used to be Sent: Saturday, Feb. 22, 2025, 2:06 PM To: Visit Lauderdale Subject: Love FL but... Hello. We’re a retired Canadian couple who have taken to spending the fall months in the Fort Lauderdale area. Despite the exchange rate, we keep going because we love the people, the bars and restaurants, the beaches, the shopping - did we mention the bars and restaurants? LOL Unfortunately, there are those in the US who seem to have forgotten the support and friendship that has historically linked our two ...

I always wondered how she made that sound.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 18, 2025:

I can't say I blame him for flossing at the beach...

More than just the village idiot!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 18, 2025:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TCEu7-RG8s=BrianTylerCohen

More than just the village idiot!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 17, 2025:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKfEPzTg1WI=AmericaUnfiltered

A shutdown is a shutdown, riiiiigghht?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 17, 2025:

Congratulations West Virgina on your votes for Trump... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRvbdidqAhs=MorePerfectUnion

A shutdown is a shutdown, riiiiigghht?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 17, 2025:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umR89o-xFHU=StephenWoodford

A shutdown is a shutdown, riiiiigghht?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 16, 2025:

I just made some popcorn... https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2025/3/16/2310613/-Transplant-Surgeon-Deported-Despite-Judge-s-Order?pm_campaign=trending=sidebar=web

A shutdown is a shutdown, riiiiigghht?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 16, 2025:

With all these Tesla vehicles burning and their record of spontaneous combustion how do they get away with calling that terrorism?... https://www.tesla-fire.com/

Ides of March Caesar special.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 16, 2025:

Missed a few...

I was supposed to post this yesterday!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 16, 2025:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsBZBUtR2xQ=OccupyDemocrats https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIHh_QvsjgQ=OccupyDemocrats

Glad I had a chance to explain that to y'all. LOL

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 15, 2025:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAvEkczWzUA=JimmyKimmelLive

Everyday physics example.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 14, 2025:

A lot of people these days aren't sure if they have health insurance from one week until the next...

If god made man in his own image ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 13, 2025:

Then how come we aren't all invisible?....

Plus, alcohol never goes sour on you. Going down at least.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 13, 2025:

At least the band is wearing the right color.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90o62QZG3TY=BlueManGroup

This hour less of sleep sucks!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 13, 2025:

That's my kitty.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyhJ69mD7xI=GeorgeThorogoodVEVO

"When a man unprincipled in private life, desperate in his fortune, bold in his temper, possessed of...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 12, 2025:

How little of that describes the Dumpster child as he has all of the vices but none of the talents Hamilton described....

I would prefer to put my trust into the Acme Corporation.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 12, 2025:

It seems as if Elon has been buying his "Starships" at Acme.... Kind of funny calling a rocket that can't even make it to orbit even without a payload a starship.... Ironic in a way isn't it?...

Is there a way to just kick him out of the white house and possibly the United States????

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 12, 2025:

Those Irish gophers must be huge at Turnberry...

Old donnie boy keeps saying the American economy is headed in a different direction.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 12, 2025:

...

Al can also vacuum seal your food for just a small fee.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 12, 2025:

...

Al can also vacuum seal your food for just a small fee.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 11, 2025:

It often seems as if people go out of their way to help me piss them off.... "If you can wake up in the morning with nothing hurting anywhere, it's a sign you have died during the night..." Louis Wu The Ringworld Throne

You need to play to your strengths.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 10, 2025:

Art is subjective...

I can't decide if I'm a pizza slut or trailer burger slut, all I know is that I'm hungry! ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 9, 2025:

I want that teeshirt.... ever since "Yum brands" took over their pizza tastes like shit...

Very little smiling as well.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 8, 2025:

I remember a certain presidential candidate a while back that couldn't even move his lips after a botox treatment...

Here's the one where Mateesh inventsh impresionalableism..Gimme another shot. hic

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 7, 2025:

I guess she wants to know how deeply she can put him in debt before she runs off with the next sucker....

Oh how I wish!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 7, 2025:

Elon..."just a little off the top please..."

We sure hope so but unfortunately this POS survived! 😔

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 7, 2025:

And turn him into a tree-hugger....

Looks suspiciously similar to the DOGE boys.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 6, 2025:

Better looking and far more intelligent...

Don't be a dick!!! 🤣🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 6, 2025:

People are lucky if it is me answering them and not my cat...

Hey, it's cheap and it's fun. Then the squirrels have to go and ruin it.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 5, 2025:

He has Trump's spine also....

Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not an AA sponsor.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 4, 2025:

Makes me want to go to medical school....

Well it's Monday! Time to do some work!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 3, 2025:

Because reading is so last century...

Trump-Zelensky shouting match exposes clash between US and European powers In publicly berating ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 3, 2025:

"In publicly berating Zelensky, Trump sought to appeal to domestic disillusionment with the Ukraine war, which enjoys no significant support outside of the affluent upper-middle class base of the Democratic Party" I have a news flash for you the war in Ukraine enjoys support in a majority of the people in this country... That includes many Republicans the only people who are against it are the fake "tech bros" like Musk and the low IQ Trumpanzees who spend more on their firearms than they do on the rusty old trailers they live in.

Rookie mistake.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 3, 2025:

About to make a concrete impression?...

Sure seems that way sometimes...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2025:

That is my cat's flag.... https://youtu.be/VzgQW-pRqO0 LMAO... https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2025/3/2/2307333/-GOP-Senator-Marshall-Of-Kansas-Goes-To-NW-Kansas-Town-For-Some-Loving-But-All-He-Gets-Are-Boos?pm_campaign=trending=sidebar=web

Sometimes, that's just not the right job for you....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2025:

LOL.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5ot2QOKw1E=TimesRadio

What did I just read?!?!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 1, 2025:

https://youtu.be/i6_mZbrbm9g

Check the co-pay first. Trust me on this one.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 28, 2025:

Looks like one of the imports we get from Texas in that "hot tub".... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrU6F-S8VMo=DarkBrandon

What did I just read?!?!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 28, 2025:

...

Hey, hey now, I took lessons on the accordion when I was younger!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 27, 2025:

...

But he can make the other guy sweat. LOL

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 25, 2025:

Wrong flag....

If I worked for the government and got that email from musk about what I did last week, I would have...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 25, 2025:

I just would have told him that I did more real work than he has done in his lifetime...

And now for the dumb blond/bimbo joke of the week-Karoline Leavitt.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 24, 2025:

You are giving the Trump administration far too much credit.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkwRyh9m8Xk=TheLateShowwithStephenColbert https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5nIPFtBNOk=TheLateShowwithStephenColbert https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCf1ETBMjtM=TheLateShowwithStephenColbert https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCpfqB-2m4k=TheLateShowwithStephenColbert https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rtnm1vrCptY=TheLateShowwithStephenColbert https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06muRo_gkPM=TheLateShowwithStephenColbert https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UEhMDAlX1Y=LastWeekTonight https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69p0rRQEoJI=TheDailyShow

Watch out who is giving you advice.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 24, 2025:

Keeping your mouth closed is the beginning of true wisdom....

What? Melt your own butter!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 23, 2025:

Yeah every single day...

FYI, I opened an account on bluesky.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 22, 2025:

Was it hard?

I actually hired an empire storm trooper to shoot the guy who made the Endor meme. But he missed.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 21, 2025:

No lifeboats and the Coast Guard isn't coming to their rescue either...

I solve this particular "problem" by simply not shaving at all.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 20, 2025:

As stupid as people are proving themselves to be these days I wouldn't be a bit surprised to see bank robbers opening accounts to electronically transfer the funds...