I had hoped this would be a place to find a female partner, but all the profiles I look at, their ...

Organist1 comments on Oct 29, 2021:

There are no men on the East Coast here that I know of. It's frustrating.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 30, 2021:

@Organist1 You've got it, Gail. We need partners who are independent and open-minded, and in my dating pool most of the women are so family-oriented, as they call it, that they would never think of being independent or balanced in their relationships with their families, much less with their partner. So I simply don't fit in with the mainstream lifestyle and culture of most women in my dating pool. The men here are likely, as you say, of the same mentality as the women, but I can only guess on that.

I had hoped this would be a place to find a female partner, but all the profiles I look at, their ...

Organist1 comments on Oct 29, 2021:

There are no men on the East Coast here that I know of. It's frustrating.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 30, 2021:

@Organist1 Thanks for your perspective. I need to hear from women that are not so picky, narrow-minded and traditional like all the farmer's daughter types that dominate my dating pool. Most of them would never accept a man who wants to split expenses evenly from the beginning of dating, etc. They still expect the man to pay everything from the first meeting on, at least for a while, or else they feel he is either too cheap for them, doesn't appreciate them as important or is not romantic enough, etc. and all other kinds of reasons to reject him as not having the right chemistry or any physical attraction for him as he is "treating them too much like a friend". I think their attitude is bullshit, since all of them seem to have as much money as me and have their own money to spend. I won't play their games or jump thru all their hoops. Your new guy sounds like a man after my own heart. He sounds like a cool, honest, down to earth guy. I hope it works out for you both. I think the key is to find someone as open-minded as we are, but they are few and far between, at least on paid dating sites, in places like Iowa, where conformity and acceptance is everything to most people who grew up here.

I had hoped this would be a place to find a female partner, but all the profiles I look at, their ...

Organist1 comments on Oct 29, 2021:

There are no men on the East Coast here that I know of. It's frustrating.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 30, 2021:

@Organist1 Same with me, in my years here on Agnostic, I have made several female friends that I would love to try dating if they lived in my area, and vice versa, but neither of us, in each case, are really that interested or willing to try dating hundreds or more miles apart. with the odds of LD dating succeeding being so slim. Realistically, dating needs to be 100 miles or less apart to begin with. and even then, only if early on there is a clear and mutually agreeable plan for one of the parties to eventually move to where the other lives, even if it's not living together. Your reasons for rejecting me, totally appropriate and reasonable as they are, are quite different than what keeps squashing me in my dating pool, maybe because you are more open-minded and less rigid than women in my dating pool. My physical condition is fair to good for my age, and my education level is high, but my rejection by women is mostly about cultural and lifestyle traits the women are so rigid and picky about. They only want family men with kids, men who drink moderately or more, and men who are religious, like them. It's funny how your standards are so different and so less narrow than theirs.

I had hoped this would be a place to find a female partner, but all the profiles I look at, their ...

BitFlipper comments on Oct 30, 2021:

Maybe all those females have found partners.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 30, 2021:

Could well be true, Dave, but I kind of doubt it. Non-believer, non-conformists, that most of us are, it usually takes a lot of luck and time to find compatible partners, esp. if you are older and no longer part of the usual networks that used to connect you to other singles: work, school, single friends, church. By our 60s, most of us don't have any of those in our lives much, if any at all, as non-believers, so that pretty much leaves bars and dating sites. And, at least for me, the quality of singles in bars these days is pretty bad. Plus, I don't drink, and only visit bars for live music and to sing karaoke. And meeting people to date thru bars involves having some skills or game, as the kids call it, in selling yourself to women, etc., and by now I zero courage or confidence in doing that to some strange woman I meet there that may, for all I know, be really drunk, only friendly to me because she is loaded, as I, being a non-drinker who doesn't hang around with any heavy drinkers, am pretty clueless when some people are loaded. And even if the woman was friendly to me and it was the alcohol supplying the friendly vibe, I wouldn't be interested, as she likely is promiscuous, and may well be carrying STIs. The book I'm reading about the history of seeking love in America, quoted a 2019 Stanford U. study that found that out of hetero couples, 39% met thru dating sites or dating apps, 27% thru bars or restaurants, 20% thru friends (and probably mainly or exclusively other single friends-most of us older folks have only married friends who don't know any singles), and 11% thru work. That leaves 3% misc. sources, most likely chance encounters at public or private events, public facilities, transportation encounters, etc. It would be really interesting to see either a study of how hetero couple met that was either exclusively people in their 60s and 70s when they met, or some other kind of study that teased out how the methods of meeting, as general trends, differ according to the age of the singles when they met. I bet as people get older, say 50s or older, church and dating sites become an even higher % of cases for how people met. So that pretty well leaves me with just the 39% dating sites option.

Just curious what people are feeling about dating apps.

twill comments on Oct 28, 2021:

With online dating we all end up seeing depressing patterns. I might soon be diving back in. Wish me luck if I do

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 30, 2021:

@twill In a nutshell, yes, it seems to be. Or, as Deb put it, it's a jungle. Either way, it is brutal, competitive, and most people in it seem to have very calloused hearts, whether their skin is similarly thick or not.

Now posing for his first encounter from behind

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 30, 2021:

I can only hope, but I doubt he will get sent to a real, as they say in Office Space, "Pound me in the ass, prison"......

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 30, 2021:

@bobwjr Do they make those, that cover the cornhole in the rear, lol? Like Peter Gruber's neighbor says in Office Space, "You make sure to watch out for your cornhole....".

I had hoped this would be a place to find a female partner, but all the profiles I look at, their ...

Organist1 comments on Oct 29, 2021:

There are no men on the East Coast here that I know of. It's frustrating.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 30, 2021:

@Organist1 Gail, I really think the problem is nothing about you personally, just that, like me, you are a poor match for your particular local dating pool, whether it's here on Agnostic, or a regular paid site like Match. We misfits just don't mesh with the mainstream culture and lifestyle, in most cases, of the majority of singles our age in those local dating pools, on any site. And you are also right about many, if not most men in our age group. Personally, I think they are wasting their time by always chasing younger women on dating sites who, realistically, are never going to want them, unless the man is very financially well-off or good-looking. And anyway, in that first one, that is really more of a business transactional relationship, which none of us here want anyway. I have heard plenty of stories on here and from women on Match that so many men in their 60s or early 70s are not wanting to date anyone their own age, or esp. anyone even a few years older, still chasing younger women in vain, unless they are just wanting sex from women their own age or a little older as a casual, temporary thing, on the assumption that women in that age range are desperate and lonely, waiting to be used and discarded.

I had hoped this would be a place to find a female partner, but all the profiles I look at, their ...

Organist1 comments on Oct 29, 2021:

There are no men on the East Coast here that I know of. It's frustrating.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 30, 2021:

That is really surprising, since that region is so less religious than the Midwest or the South, so you would think that Agnostic.com would have a decent number of compatible non-believing men for you to connect with. I am sorry to hear that. As far as compatible women in my age group, I searched the Nearby Members list from your profile page, and found only one woman with a 50% or more compatibility rating that was still active on the site, so, if the men are anything like the women on Agnostic for that region, you're right, the cupboard is pretty bare....

I had hoped this would be a place to find a female partner, but all the profiles I look at, their ...

Julie808 comments on Oct 30, 2021:

There are definitely lots of females who visit the site regularly, but they might not be in your geographic area and/or might not be seeking a romantic partner. My first thought when joining this site was to meet people near me, but of the dozen or so who signed up in my geographic area, they ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 30, 2021:

Almost all the women in my whole state of Iowa are level 2 or less, because they quickly saw it was not a dating site for them, at least not with any local options for that, so they soon left rather than participate in the site and move up in levels. And I did try spreading the word about this site after I joined, mentioning it to people at the local Unitarian church and also talking it up to everyone a few years ago at the annual Pride Festival booth for the Iowa Atheists and Freethinkers group, but nobody from either group ever joined here. So, you can lead a horse to water, but.........

I had hoped this would be a place to find a female partner, but all the profiles I look at, their ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 29, 2021:

Same situation here. In my local area, or even my whole state, almost all of the women joined some time ago, back when Agnostic's founder was frequently advertising the site on FB, but it seems all those women took a quick look at the site, saw there were no local men to date, at least none they ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 30, 2021:

@Seeker55 Glad you took it as I meant it, which was not being harsh, just honest and realistic with a touch of humor.

Just curious what people are feeling about dating apps.

Deb57 comments on Oct 25, 2021:

I have never tried using a dating app and have only heard horror stories about them. As hard as it is to vet people in person, I'd think it'd be a nightmare online. Being alone is clearly not the worst thing that can happen to me.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 30, 2021:

@Deb57 I feel sad to hear you say that Deb, because the story is 100% true, whether you believe it or not. And, to be honest, since we will never meet in person or date, it really doesn't matter much to me in the long run if it seems credible to you or not. My friends here where I live all know way better than you that it's the truth, as they knew me before I was widowed and still do after. What do you really know about me, Deb? Hell, according to your own past words, if I remember correctly, you have been married and divorced four times, and wouldn't, according to your own words, know if a man was good or healthy emotionally or not, because you have been wrong so many times. So, while I wish you felt more positively about me, I consider the source, and don't put much stock in your judgement, since even you have invalidated it in the past. Please keep your future judgements about me to yourself, Deb, or I will block you. I am tired of your constant criticism and negative judgement of me on this forum, and I doubt most other people here see it as fair and valid either, or they would be weighing in on your side. Ever think about that aspect, Deb? You really do seem somewhat callous and lacking in empathy, Deb, which is funny for someone who in the past has, herself, repeated the same tales of cruelty by your former husbands. I am one for one on successful LTRs with my one good marriage, How about your record, if you feel you have so much qualification to judge me, Deb? Ever notice how nobody has jumped in to record an emoji of agreement with you or me about this dispute, Deb? Nor have they posted any comments of agreement or disagreement. Why do you feel the need to publicly humiliate me here? Just because an unpopular story, at least to some, is repeated, does not make it automatically untrue. Check your logic on that, Deb. Like all of us on this forum, Deb, I have the right to speak my truth, to my opinions, and to my feelings. And you, on this thread, have continually shown little respect or compassion for any of those... Who died and made you moderator or judge for this forum?

And greed at it’s worst.

19dacar52 comments on Oct 28, 2021:

Corporations and billionaires, the real "deep state".

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 30, 2021:

As George Carlin used to say, they are the true owners of America, and we will never be part of their club, so shut up and pay your taxes, suckers, as you don't matter and the elections are just a charade for show, to make you think you still live in a democracy....

Just curious what people are feeling about dating apps.

Deb57 comments on Oct 25, 2021:

I have never tried using a dating app and have only heard horror stories about them. As hard as it is to vet people in person, I'd think it'd be a nightmare online. Being alone is clearly not the worst thing that can happen to me.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 29, 2021:

@Deb57 One bitter truth, I must admit, Deb, is that when I first began online dating, I still had this fantasy, belief, or delusion, that having been in only one LTR, a marriage that was long, happy and successful, ending in widowhood, would somehow be impressive enough to most women in the dating pool on Match, that they would be fairly interested in me and that I would not have anything like the struggles I have had to find even a few women who were compatible enough and mutually interested enough to end up meeting up or dating more than a couple times. Boy, did I quickly discover, not only how mismatched I was for the vast majority of the women in my dating pool, esp. in their eyes, but I also found that, even tho my relationship history and track record were seemingly superior, as a widower who was one for one with successful LTRs, that it cut no ice with or impressed most of the women on Match, even the divorced women and probably esp. them, because they have always seemed to mainly prefer men who were divorced like them, illogical as that seems. My guess is probably that they prefer fellow divorced folks as potential partners, because they assume widowed men either don't understand their divorce experience enough, can't empathize adequately, etc. or that widowed men are all still hung up on their dead wives or will never accept another woman, etc. Either way, to me, those attitudes and assumptions, wrong tho they may be about widowed men by divorced women, prove my point that probably way too few divorced women seek and receive competent therapy after their divorce, so they prefer men who are divorced so they can get some of that sympathy and understanding they failed to get from a therapist after their divorce. Such is life and nothing I can do about their bad, wrong choices on any of that, not seeking therapy, and choosing to try again only with men that also share their history of failed relationships and probably bad relationship skills and qualities..

Notice how rare and few are the posts here, compared to a few years ago, when this group was formed,...

Wangobango3 comments on Oct 29, 2021:

I know two couples who may have gotten their start on this site. I had an amazing romance with a woman I met on POF. It only ended because she had a virulent form of lung cancer that killed her in a matter of a few months. I met my current partner on a dating site although we had met in RL decades...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 29, 2021:

@Wangobango3 For what it's worth, I keep up with this site pretty regularly, and between you and all the rest of those who have posted comments on couples from here, we still have ended up with only a handful of couples total who met here, so it is still piss poor as a dating site. I do agree with you that your region is way less religious than the US, so that might help this place as a dating site or connection in general among non-believers for dating than in the US.

Notice how rare and few are the posts here, compared to a few years ago, when this group was formed,...

Wangobango3 comments on Oct 29, 2021:

I know two couples who may have gotten their start on this site. I had an amazing romance with a woman I met on POF. It only ended because she had a virulent form of lung cancer that killed her in a matter of a few months. I met my current partner on a dating site although we had met in RL decades...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 29, 2021:

Good for you. Your experiences with online dating, both here and on other sites, beats the hell out of mine. And, BTW, two couples out of the several thousand that have come here, joined, then left or even stuck around since this site was formed, is a piss poor drop in the bucket, in my mind. So BFD that a few met someone right on here. Whoop-de- freakin'-doo.

Notice how rare and few are the posts here, compared to a few years ago, when this group was formed,...

HippieChick58 comments on Oct 29, 2021:

The pandemic kinda slowed things down a bit. Maybe it will pick back up as things improve.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 29, 2021:

The pandemic is not likely a factor anyway, at least I don't think so, as it kept people at home and isolated them. If anything, it probably caused most people who hadn't already left this site, to spend MORE time on here than before. And anyway, the worst of the pandemic is already over, so if that were a factor, it would have already picked up. So I must disagree, Paula.

Just curious what people are feeling about dating apps.

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 25, 2021:

That is a hard ? to answer, because so much depends on what other options or resources an individual person has for meeting compatible singles to date. Another variable is how important said search is to the person's life, as in, do they have lots of friends, family, children or grandchildren that ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 29, 2021:

@twill Well, I have to say, I appreciate hearing that. Esp. after Deb, below, keeps taking me to task for everything I say here. I have had enough bashing here from her.

Just curious what people are feeling about dating apps.

twill comments on Oct 28, 2021:

With online dating we all end up seeing depressing patterns. I might soon be diving back in. Wish me luck if I do

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 29, 2021:

If you do, maybe it will give you a better appreciation of my situation and why it is so tough to take the risk of moving away to a new city, and leaving your whole network behind, esp. after you have been beat down emotionally for a few years already by online dating. I wish you well, but your experience is likely to be much like mine, except you do have the much better dating pool of Chicago, compared to Des Moines, like me. I bet what you will find is that, while there are many more women in your area, and probably also a higher % of them being without kids, not wanting only men with kids, not wanting men who are religious, at the same time, you are going to have even more competition for those women on the dating site, from other men who are non-believers, than I do here, so in a way, it may be a wash or even out between your dating pool and mine as far as finding success. Another member here, EyesThatSmile (Marianne) told me a while ago that one of the problems with dating sites is that even if you are compatible with some of the few women out there in your local dating pool that are a match for you and are on a paid site, to actually find a partner and start dating them, you still have to win the "competition" at that time between you and any other compatible men, for her, that are active on the site the same time you and the woman are there as members, and I now realize quite well what she meant. She told me that "you don't want to deal with all of that competition, Tom", because she knew that with my lack of confidence, or "game" for selling myself as a dating partner to women, combined with my only average looks, that I would usually lose out to some other guy on the dating site that had somewhat better looks and more game than me with a woman, even if both of us were compatible with her. So few people in online dating seem to realize, much less admit, that competitive aspect of the format, compared to organic dating, where the woman usually isn't connecting with or seeing other men the same time you meet her, so that, in that format, compatibility is much simpler. You either meet the woman's general, established preferences or standards, and if you pass those tests and she seems to enjoy seeing you, then you are off to the races for dating steady, assuming she is generally interested in doing that in the first place, rather than just parallel or casual dating, where she is seeing multiple men, playing the field, or maybe just wanting FWB arrangements with more than one man. Of course all of this may be equally true with men as well for how they screen and select women, but I kind of doubt it.

Just curious what people are feeling about dating apps.

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 25, 2021:

That is a hard ? to answer, because so much depends on what other options or resources an individual person has for meeting compatible singles to date. Another variable is how important said search is to the person's life, as in, do they have lots of friends, family, children or grandchildren that ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 29, 2021:

@twill I choose staying put, tough as it is, because moving away with no safety net of local listeners, like the friends and therapist, are what helps me cope with the emotional rollercoaster of online dating. I feel very certain that if I removed myself from them by moving hundreds of miles away, not knowing anyone where I moved to, at least for most of a year, let's say, would be emotionally devastating and pretty likely to make me depressed enough to become suicidal within less than a year, so it really would be jumping from the frying pan into the fire. I am not willing to gamble like that with my life and my mental health, much as I may be already suffering now. And remember, there are no garauntees that dating would work out and succeed in a better city soon enough to get me a new, compatible partner there, and make up for what support I left behind here. It is a much easier gamble to make when you are someone else making armchair quarterback judgements on another person's life. You are risking nothing yourself in urging me to move away. You are basing your advice more on theory, while I know myself better than anyone else and I am basing my decision on personal history, facts, and my unique knowledge of how I am wired, compared to other people who might do better in making that move rather than staying put.

Just curious what people are feeling about dating apps.

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 25, 2021:

That is a hard ? to answer, because so much depends on what other options or resources an individual person has for meeting compatible singles to date. Another variable is how important said search is to the person's life, as in, do they have lots of friends, family, children or grandchildren that ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 29, 2021:

@twill That is what I wrote. What you didn't seem to appreciate is that all I have, as far as a support system, is here in the Des Moines area. If I moved away, I would have nothing for a support system locally, just friends back in Des Moines available only by phone or e-mail, which would be very inadequate for me, emotionally. If I did move away for a better dating pool, it would probably be Minneapolis or Chicago.

Just curious what people are feeling about dating apps.

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 25, 2021:

That is a hard ? to answer, because so much depends on what other options or resources an individual person has for meeting compatible singles to date. Another variable is how important said search is to the person's life, as in, do they have lots of friends, family, children or grandchildren that ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 29, 2021:

@twill Did you just skip over reading the part about my family and that my friends here are my whole support system, twill? I am going to guess that your reading skills are fine and that you are simply mentally obtuse, like the warden in The Shawshank Redemption. You most likely lack any basic empathy and that's why you made such an ignorant and stupid judgement and suggestion. Why should I move and leave my whole support system behind on the blind hope that moving to a better dating pool, without even knowing anyone in my new city, will turn out to be successful in finding a partner, while meanwhile I get to be lonely and isolated from my support system as far as in person contact? You clearly have no appreciation of my present emotional reality or what it is like to risk jumping from the frying pan in to the fire, so to speak, emotionally, by leaving behind one's emotional support system for a new location and starting over socially from scratch. It is also not that easy at my age, already retired, and seldom attending even a UU church, to make new friends, esp. not knowing anyone to start with in a new town. Or, more likely, you are just a troll that likes to drop a stupid, judgemental quip, with no real intent to help, just so you can start an argument......

Yeah they grew up to be trumpers

JacarC comments on Oct 28, 2021:

NO::: almost all Karens are progressives.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 28, 2021:

Totally disagree. All the fellow progressives I have known or heard from, are very sympathetic to fellow wage slaves, esp. wait staff at bars and restaurants, as well as retail stores. Most of them won't even go to a Wal-Mart, out of guilt and sympathy for the poor workers there. So there is no basis for your accusation, it's all just conservative, or more likely, Libertarian fantasy in your head, JC. You may also be confusing real progressives with sellout, Dem Party liberals, but they are very different groups....

Just curious what people are feeling about dating apps.

Deb57 comments on Oct 25, 2021:

I have never tried using a dating app and have only heard horror stories about them. As hard as it is to vet people in person, I'd think it'd be a nightmare online. Being alone is clearly not the worst thing that can happen to me.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 28, 2021:

@Deb57 Maybe, maybe not. I do know that I was very lucky to have met my late wife, and that she was, tho not perfect, nobody is, an exceptional woman. But I also have to believe that she is not the only compatible woman for me, and that there is someone still out there that is single, in my local dating pool. But, yes, I do despair that I may well either never meet her, thru online dating, since it appears that most women like that have given up on dating or at the very least, like you, Deb, won't use online dating. If that is the case, I will likely never meet her. The other reason I may never meet someone like that again, is that online dating is, whether people recognize it or not, also a competitive process, where even if someone is compatible for you, you are competing with hundreds of other men they are seeing profiles of at the same time. So it is not like organic dating, where you are usually meeting a woman offline, who is probably not seeing anyone else, and you are only needing to measure up to her general standards for her to begin dating you. In online dating, you not only need to be compatible with her and your standards, but you have to stand out enough against the competition at that given point in time, for her to choose you among the men she is connecting with at that time. So being compatible with her at that time that you meet, is not enough, at least in the online dating scenario, you also have to be the winner among the competition at that time. This, of course, applies to both sexes in online dating, and only to those who choose to seek exclusive, commited relationships as their goal in online dating, rather than just a number of compatible people to date at the same time casually. At least in my local dating pool on Match, it appears that the vast majority of women are seeking the former goal, rather than the latter, in their search for people to date.

Just curious what people are feeling about dating apps.

Deb57 comments on Oct 25, 2021:

I have never tried using a dating app and have only heard horror stories about them. As hard as it is to vet people in person, I'd think it'd be a nightmare online. Being alone is clearly not the worst thing that can happen to me.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 28, 2021:

@Deb57 We'll have to disagree on that, Deb. It would be nice tho, at least in my eyes, to get to change places for a little while, at least, as I think many women lack empathy for what men have to deal with in the dating game. And I have heard plenty from women, including you, about their side of it. And I think I can honestly say that I probably have more empathy for their situation than they have for my side, tho I know you are not going to agree with that.

Time to stop this

JonnaBononna comments on Oct 28, 2021:

If I was still on Facebook and posted that (and I would), it would be taken down and I'd get a ban. Almost every time I've gotten a Facebook ban it's been for speaking negatively about white people.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 28, 2021:

Guess you strike a nerve when you challenge white privilege on there.

Just curious what people are feeling about dating apps.

Deb57 comments on Oct 25, 2021:

I have never tried using a dating app and have only heard horror stories about them. As hard as it is to vet people in person, I'd think it'd be a nightmare online. Being alone is clearly not the worst thing that can happen to me.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 27, 2021:

@Deb57 I may well be wrong Deb, but rest assured, the women who are above average looking, at least in the online dating game here in the Midwest, are able to do exactly that, sit back and never have to pursue the men on the dating site. And if they had to live in my shoes, they might have a whole different perspective about the dating game and how easy or hard it is to do the pursuing and not come off, as you say, impatient or desperate, etc. Much easier to say and judge when you don't have to pursue much, if any, of the time. And I have had this confirmed many times that women who are above average looking get tons of messages from men, some high quality, some low quality, but my point is that it gives them the opportunity to meet several new men each week, keep their dating skills sharp, feel like they have the pick of the litter, as the men keep chasing them, one man after another, and thus they can sit back much more comfortably in the first in person meeting feeling like they hold all the cards, the same way an employer does in the dreaded traditional job interviews that I so hated before I was retired and they sat behind the desk holding all the cards, keeping all their agenda and judgements to themselves, until I got the final verdict, if ever, of being hired or not. I hate that kind of powerlessness and inequality, and I don't miss it a damned bit being retired. Too bad I still have to suffer that in in the dating game.

Just curious what people are feeling about dating apps.

Deb57 comments on Oct 25, 2021:

I have never tried using a dating app and have only heard horror stories about them. As hard as it is to vet people in person, I'd think it'd be a nightmare online. Being alone is clearly not the worst thing that can happen to me.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 27, 2021:

I would love to have the luxury of being a female, with above average looks, living in a dating pool where the social norms allowed me to simply sit back and let men do all the pursuing of me in the dating game, because in that position it is so easy to judge and assume things about the man, which may be totally wrong if they gave him the chance to prove himself and get to know him over time, instead of maybe making some allowances for being lonely, awkward, etc. in his approach. Can you honestly say that women would always or even usually do any better if they had to do the pursuing? Maybe some greater empathy and more realistic expectations, by the woman, would be a better solution to the situation. Because too many women want a man with lots of smooth confidence, or "game" with women, as the kids call it, and yet they also want a man with sensitivity, empathy, a kind heart, honesty, etc. and the fact is, you are seldom going to get all that in one person. So they instead choose the asshole who is self assured, but proves later to have few other positive qualities.

Just curious what people are feeling about dating apps.

Deb57 comments on Oct 25, 2021:

I have never tried using a dating app and have only heard horror stories about them. As hard as it is to vet people in person, I'd think it'd be a nightmare online. Being alone is clearly not the worst thing that can happen to me.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 27, 2021:

@Deb57 So you are saying Deb, in as polite a way as possible, that you think I come off as desperate? Maybe so, maybe not, but you have never been there with me in person for a first in person meeting from a dating site, so how can you honestly know? I really think it is more of simply not fitting the compatibility requirements of my dating pool, on drinking, kids, religion, etc., because I very seldom even get to a first in person meeting in the last six months, as the messaging usually brings up dealbreakers, mainly on their end, sometimes on my end, so the meeting part doesn't even happen. I respect your mind and you have the right to your opinion, Deb, but I think you are wrong here and maybe even projecting a bit onto me from other men you have encountered. Sorry, I will not try to approach women in the asexual manner you are recommending, because, if anything, I already come off too asexual or androganous to most women, from what I have been told. As for being impatient online, I have always been pretty patient about meeting women in person after about always trading some messages, but I have also made it clear to them that I don't want to end up a texting or phone buddy, nor do I want to waste their time or mine by not meeting up in person or video chatting within a couple weeks or less from first connection. And I can tell you that most women in online dating respect and understand that, as their time is valuable too and they don't want to delay it too long and waste time on someone who will never be more than friendzone material. I also, in that messaging, make it clear that I am flexible about waiting on someone who is still employed, and or exceptionally busy. So I must respectfully disagree. The problem is much more about my dating pool than my behavior or approach. The last woman I met in person, twice in three days time, gave me lots of compliments on my interesting personality, gentlemanly behavior, etc, and said she would really like to keep seeing me as a friend, but I told her I felt too much attraction for her, and was open about that even after the first time I met her, to settle for that and subject myself to the frustration of being permanently friendzoned and or disappointed later when she never ended up feeling any chemistry or physical attraction for me. I just think you don't know enough about me, having never even met me Deb, to make those kind of judgments about me. Same with the other women on here that love to blame the man every time for his dating woes. Do you really see much of men on here blaming the woman for her dating woes, cuz' I sure don't.... And if a woman is so insecure, that a man radiating an honest vibe, or even admitting that he is lonely, after several years of being widowed, if that seems like such ...

Decided to use my financial advisers face on my Visa card

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 27, 2021:

They do dictate the money spent on cat food and pet products, at the very least. If they had their way, they would be in your will as heirs....

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 27, 2021:

@CurmudgeonBoy I'm sure he appreciates being an heir and will miss you if you die before him, lol...

Church Attendance is Declining Even on Military Bases | Hemant Mehta | Friendly Atheist | Patheos

freedom41 comments on Oct 26, 2021:

Maybe, that's a good sign we will be an Atheist nation one day

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 27, 2021:

@domos I think you are right. Social trends are often more complex than they seem, and there are usually things going on under the surface that the mass media never picks up on.

Just curious what people are feeling about dating apps.

Deb57 comments on Oct 25, 2021:

I have never tried using a dating app and have only heard horror stories about them. As hard as it is to vet people in person, I'd think it'd be a nightmare online. Being alone is clearly not the worst thing that can happen to me.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 27, 2021:

@Deb57 I wish I had that kind of gender ratio in my local dating pool on Match, but, like you say, it wouldn't really make much or any difference, as they would not accept someone with my culture and lifestyle traits differing from them, and I would not accept women who were strongly religious, country music lovers, or political conservatives, as well as heavy drinkers or daily smokers. Or someone really family-oriented. And those differences set me as incompatible, either from my end or theirs, with about 97% of the women in my local dating pool. So I have no choice but to keep plugging away and hope I can win somewhere down the line, by playing the long game, as they say in sports... I also agree with you Deb, about how in a dating pool that lopsided with women, men who are still single at our age are either misfits for the local dating pool, like me, or else they do have something personally wrong with them. I am firmly in the first group and my long and happy marriage before my late wife got ill and died, is my proof of that, my "human credential", as Fox Mulder used to say on The X-Files TV show. And, as that was my only LTR so far in my life, I will put my relationship track record up against anybody and in most cases, mine will be better and more successful than all these divorcees that reject me so often on Match. Why the hell do they think they are so superior to me, with their comparatively failed record at relationships? That is the ? I would love to hear answered by some of them, but never will...

Just curious what people are feeling about dating apps.

Deb57 comments on Oct 25, 2021:

I have never tried using a dating app and have only heard horror stories about them. As hard as it is to vet people in person, I'd think it'd be a nightmare online. Being alone is clearly not the worst thing that can happen to me.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 27, 2021:

@Deb57 I have no doubt that was the case, and it is also partly why at this age, I am very reluctant to approach a woman at a concert or public event, even if she looks attractive and might have some things in common with me. Too tired of being shot down or striking out, and no doubt a lot of it is due to conditioning that women in our region experience from the creeps and users, since they tend to lump all men who are strangers that approach them into one negative group. I am too fed up with it to risk my feelings or spend my time approaching strange women who are unlikely to give me a chance, no matter how well I talk to them. Esp. since I have never had great confidence approaching strange women at bars or concerts, even when I was younger and more attractive looking. Trying that now seems silly and useless. I would rather use a dating site, where I at least know that most of the time they are truly single and looking to date, plus it plays to my strengths, which are writing and expressing myself well in describing who I am thru the profile format. Not much I can do about my looks. My pics either pass their test for looks or they don't.

Just curious what people are feeling about dating apps.

Deb57 comments on Oct 25, 2021:

I have never tried using a dating app and have only heard horror stories about them. As hard as it is to vet people in person, I'd think it'd be a nightmare online. Being alone is clearly not the worst thing that can happen to me.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 26, 2021:

@Bigwavedave Part of the reasons for the singles group where you live could be that your neighbors there are much older than me or Deb, and thus, there is a greater % of women who are widowed, rather than still married, while the married men there have wives that are still kicking, so they aren't widowed yet and thus, are not again looking for partners. It's my curse that I am still young enough that most women my age have not become widowed yet, and if they are single at this time, it is due to divorce. The numbers, and my prospects for dating, may well improve a lot in another five or ten years with more women in my dating pool becoming widowed, but why would I want to just sit on my hands, still alone, and wait for that?

Just curious what people are feeling about dating apps.

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 25, 2021:

That is a hard ? to answer, because so much depends on what other options or resources an individual person has for meeting compatible singles to date. Another variable is how important said search is to the person's life, as in, do they have lots of friends, family, children or grandchildren that ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 26, 2021:

@Bigwavedave It is depressing, but it is reality. I have both a trusted female friend that advises me on this and other matters, as well as a female therapist who is in her 30s. They both concur and agree with my assessment on the local dating pool and my predicament. It is what it is, Dave... I have several good local friends, who are my support system. I have three siblings, whom I am estranged from, that all live out of state anyway. I have no other living family, except a cousin who lives far away in Indiana. So yes, finding a partner is a big focus in my life, and appropriately so, according to me, my friends, and my therapist. And the success of that search is mostly out of my hands...Count yourself lucky Dave, if, like I used to be before becoming widowed, you are part of the smugly married.

EXCLUSIVE: Jan.

JonnaBononna comments on Oct 25, 2021:

https://youtu.be/wxlhyX-4qKI

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 25, 2021:

The parrot's voice sure sounds like the comedian Gilbert Gottfried...

Just curious what people are feeling about dating apps.

racocn8 comments on Oct 25, 2021:

Yes, they are not worth it, but what else is there? Yes they are a waste of time, until they aren't. I was tortured for years by different dating services. I am so glad to have finally found someone. Loneliness is ugly, but so many bring it on themselves.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 25, 2021:

@racocn8 I have never been burned by a scammer, either just lucky I guess, or too smart for them. I also never considered messaging a black woman on a dating site, as I figured, "Why bother? It's hard enough to find a white woman with mutual compatibility for me?" But then, I started to realize that maybe some black women are ok with and interested in possibly dating white men, not just within their race, and that also, some of them might actually be more realistic and open-minded about who they will date than most of the white women who kept rejecting me out of my local dating pool on Match. So I finally did meet up with a younger black woman from Match that seemed to click with me, but she ended up rejecting me after we met in person, probably due to a combination of my being twelve years older, and also, tho I know it may sound shallow on her part, because I refuse to get a smartphone. She probably felt or assumed I was too rigid or outdated for her. My experience has been just like you tho, most of my time on Match, 90-95% of my first messages to new women have been ignored or not replied to. Since Covid tho, my response rate has been significantly higher than before Covid. Why that is, I can't really know, but I can guess a few factors have helped. Since last spring, Match returned to its old profile format in an important way, in that members can once again view what trait preferences the other member is looking for in a partner, on things like race, education level, kids situation, religious affiliation, drinking/smoking habits, etc. Before that, for over a year, you had to just fly blind in choosing who to message that might be compatible and try to guess those things from the profile essay and what traits they identified for themselves on those issues. So, during that time, I was probably messaging way more women who, on paper at least, were not very compatible for me, at least in their minds. Secondly, since Covid, and all the isolated alone time it brought for singles, I think many of these women have rethought their previous attitudes on going it alone the rest of their lives and are giving online dating more of a serious and honest effort to find someone for a life partner. They seem to have less apathy, ambivalence, and impossibly high standards, compared to before Covid. Ah, the blessings of a pandemic!...

Just curious what people are feeling about dating apps.

Deb57 comments on Oct 25, 2021:

I have never tried using a dating app and have only heard horror stories about them. As hard as it is to vet people in person, I'd think it'd be a nightmare online. Being alone is clearly not the worst thing that can happen to me.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 25, 2021:

Compared to women, men have little choice at our age but to use dating apps, unless they are part of some social network like a church or still working in a job where they can meet singles. And, esp. in more conservative and traditional parts of the country, like the Midwest, women are not going to approach men in public or at private events for men to meet them that way. But, as some women here on Agnostic have said, if a woman is good looking enough, she will get approached by single men on a regular basis at events, even at our age. So, provided they have the elite looks, women, at least in some parts of the country, will get all the opportunities to date single men as they desire, just from being approached when they are out and about. That is not going to happen for single men in this society, even if they are above average looking. Of course there are always exceptions, but the rules I've mentioned here seem very true. So I have no doubt, Deb,. with your looks, you could get about all the dating opportunities you wanted, same as from a dating app., but quality of opportunities and of dating partners, is a whole other matter and a separate discussion entirely.... Maybe these things explain why you have never used a dating app, or even needed to, besides just your general ambivalence about dating....

Just curious what people are feeling about dating apps.

racocn8 comments on Oct 25, 2021:

Yes, they are not worth it, but what else is there? Yes they are a waste of time, until they aren't. I was tortured for years by different dating services. I am so glad to have finally found someone. Loneliness is ugly, but so many bring it on themselves.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 25, 2021:

You are so right about all of that. Your comment speaks volumes. Finally meeting someone and dating them steadily, even if it isn't permanent, feels so good to no longer be alone and feeling hopeless and discouraged. Which is probably also why some online dating veterans end up settling for someone that they never would have settled for when they first set out on the search, but that is natural human nature, to simply want to be done with it for a long while, if not for good. as the dating game just exhausts and sucks the life out of you if it goes on for years fruitlessly. And you are also right, that so many bring it on themselves, either thru clinging to impossible standards for a partner, at least impossible for them with what they bring to the table, and sometimes impossible for anybody to measure up to. Another way people doom themselves to loneliness, is thru continued toxic behavior in the dating game, by sabotaging themselves or constantly mistreating others in the process, thru lying, game-playing, or not showing appreciation or kindness to others, instead just being selfish about the whole process.

I think she's right.

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 25, 2021:

Looks like Scooter blocked me, no idea why. Anybody else know?

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 25, 2021:

@Petter Maybe, but she also deleted her replies to you, and blocked you as well. Strange indeed.

EXCLUSIVE: Jan.

BufftonBeotch comments on Oct 25, 2021:

If the people who planned it don't go to prison we might as well hand our country and freedom to Putin right now.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 25, 2021:

You are exactly fucking right, because not sending anyone to prison will so clearly confirm that our elections don't matter, and that fascists are above the law, that no future elections will matter to most Americans, so they won't bother voting in federal elections, and it will also set the precedent that no sitting president or major political party has to respect the results of a fair election and give up power. We will then be officially the same as some banana republic where the ruling regime just holds onto power indefinitely and disregards any election results they don't like.

STI rates ‘at their highest numbers’ in US as Covid dominates health funding | US news | The ...

Barnie2years comments on Oct 24, 2021:

With all social activities being closed down for over a year (dances, movies, sports) what else were people to do besides sex? 😂

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 24, 2021:

Makes sense to me, but during all of my Covid isolation, the only sex I had was with myself. Been so long since I had partner sex, I'm beginning to wonder if I still remember it??..... as the last time was long before Covid, being widowed and separated by illness before her death....

I don’t often makes posts outside of my daily pattern of posting in my three Music Groups, a new ...

creative51 comments on Oct 24, 2021:

I did notice when you got to 10. I may have neglected to congratulate you, but did not mean any sort of disrespect to you. Congrats. The owner (who is a real multi-millionaire) has a large number of personals type of web sites which he actually makes money off of, so he is likely paying more ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 24, 2021:

@creative51 I noticed that from his posts and comments on here, back when he still made them. He is very much a capitalist and a conservative.

I don’t often makes posts outside of my daily pattern of posting in my three Music Groups, a new ...

creative51 comments on Oct 24, 2021:

I did notice when you got to 10. I may have neglected to congratulate you, but did not mean any sort of disrespect to you. Congrats. The owner (who is a real multi-millionaire) has a large number of personals type of web sites which he actually makes money off of, so he is likely paying more ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 24, 2021:

What you said about our site owner sure explains a lot of what has been going on for a while here.

Ive been thinking that on the weekends my daughter is at her Dad's I've been acting like a hermit.

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 24, 2021:

For some people like us, UU churches are great, to others, they are a disappointment. My experience has been mixed. While both UU churches I attended were very secular and humanistic in their content, one was very classist, cliquish and snobby, while the other was fairly welcoming and open to most ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 24, 2021:

@Organist1 You are correct. Unitarians, are much like Christians or Catholics, same human nature and personalities, just without the religious belief.

Just joined a dating group on fb.

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 24, 2021:

Welcome to my world, and no, your experience and the beatdown on one's self esteem, unless one is above average looking or better, is typical. And now imagine how much worse it is when you live in the traditional-minded Midwest, where the men have to do almost all the pursuing and make the first ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 24, 2021:

@kraseyk Like you, I also hate country music. But here in Iowa, it is so loved and almost treated as sacred, that if you say you hate it or even dislike it, it's as if you had better whisper it, lest you come off as some sort of nut or criminal. Between that and their worship of Elvis Presley as some sort of god or messiah, people around here are pretty strange, in my mind. In Iowa, more like about half the pop. are Trumpers.

Google Voice and you.

Lauren comments on Oct 23, 2021:

I've had a Google Voice number for years and I like it a lot. I started because I wanted a business number I could give out without ending up on everyone's call list. The fact that it can forward calls to my landline and mobile number (and other places), as well as text from that number, makes it ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 23, 2021:

I have had a couple recent women from Match refuse to do a video chat and when they did, I just accepted their position and settled for a phone call or proceeding to meet in person, as both of them lived in my local area. I think that some women simply don't like video chats because they are somewhat insecure about their looks and don't want to go to the trouble of getting all slicked up with makeup, etc. or dressing up just for a video chat, or maybe they just feel more comfortable with the man seeing them live the first time in person, rather than on video. Regardless, I just accept their choice and move forward as fast as possible to the first in person meeting, as I have learned to not put up with someone wanting a long messaging process, and delaying the inevitable moment of truth, when you meet in person and find out if there is or isn't mutual chemistry or not.

Is online dating addictive?

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 15, 2021:

I have been on Match actively for about three years now, and I can see how it might be addictive for some folks, as far as the thrill or drama of the emotional rollercoaster it provides for their life, and also the constant ego strokes they may get if they are making lots of connections with people ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 22, 2021:

@HeAdAkE And what are you really trying to say, besides terse snark, man?

All I’m Offering Is The Truth | Philosophy of the Matrix

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 21, 2021:

I feel that most people do not want the truth and resist it, mostly out of fear. They want the comfort of the familiar. I am not someone who eagerly embraces change, but I have always wanted to hear and know the truth, no matter how ugly or disturbing. Guess that makes me a bit of a paradox.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 21, 2021:

@rainmanjr That's really all we can ask of each other.

I hear "some" females say it all of the time: "You can't have male friends if you're in a ...

JonnaBononna comments on Oct 19, 2021:

I think there are men and women both who just think men and women cannot be platonic friends. It's ridiculous, really.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 20, 2021:

@GoodMan I think you meant thanks for sharing. You're welcome, GM.

I hear "some" females say it all of the time: "You can't have male friends if you're in a ...

JonnaBononna comments on Oct 19, 2021:

I think there are men and women both who just think men and women cannot be platonic friends. It's ridiculous, really.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 20, 2021:

@GoodMan Constant rejection is very hard on the ego and self esteem, even for people who are healthy on both of those counts, which is why many people just leave dating sites after a short time, giving up on finding a partner and choosing to preserve their mental health, esp. from depression.

I think she's right.

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 19, 2021:

As a three year veteran of Match, with more rejection logged by now than I can even count, there is a lot of truth in the cartoon, even tho my friends say I am as loyal and faithful as the family dog. And if that weren't enough, I am one for one on successful LTRs and just the one marriage, which is...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 20, 2021:

@Scooter65 That sounds a hell of a lot like most of Iowa, both states are Midwest, full of hicks, rednecks and farmer types, prime breeding ground for Trumper types...

I think she's right.

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 19, 2021:

As a three year veteran of Match, with more rejection logged by now than I can even count, there is a lot of truth in the cartoon, even tho my friends say I am as loyal and faithful as the family dog. And if that weren't enough, I am one for one on successful LTRs and just the one marriage, which is...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 20, 2021:

@Scooter65 Can't. All my friends live here, with the exception of my best friend in KC, and they are my whole emotional support system. Leaving Iowa for a better dating pool would be like setting myself up for emotional collapse or suicide, followed, probably, by the real thing.... BTW, I'm guessing that your part of Indiana isn't much better than my local dating pool?

While you're agnostic/atheist, if someone religious shares, say, the same political views as you, ...

Charles1971 comments on Oct 19, 2021:

Certainly. I find that most people believe at least some little bit (or a lot) of something stupid... religion, GMOs are evil, candy corn is good, country music doesn't suck, etc. Putting aside ones differences.. as long as they aren't too extreme... for the common good is certainly reasonable. ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 20, 2021:

@BufftonBeotch Don't get me started on how many country singers, even tho they are supposedly pros, sing with Auto-Tune running at their concerts and in the recording studio. People who can't even sing on pitch, making big money because they are cute or have the right image. I have heard Auto -Tune used at a live concert by an amateur local band, and the voice did not even sound human.

I hear "some" females say it all of the time: "You can't have male friends if you're in a ...

JonnaBononna comments on Oct 19, 2021:

I think there are men and women both who just think men and women cannot be platonic friends. It's ridiculous, really.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 20, 2021:

@GoodMan Tell me about it, man. I constantly see women's profiles on Match where they say one thing about themselves in their profile essay, and then later, during the messaging or after meeting them in person or phone chatting, the profile statements about themselves turn out to be contradictory. Whether it is intentional or not, conscious or not, to me it smacks of false advertising or misleading information, and I am fed up with a steady diet of it. My biggest pet peeve is women who have very firm dealbreakers on things like religion, drinking habits, kids situation, or political affiliation, either in which category fits them or in what they are looking for in a partner, but they hold back or fail to think thru those things and either conceal or leave them out of their profile. So, as a result, schmucks like me innocently reach out to message them thinking we might be compatible and then get the inevitable message from them saying, "Thanks but no thanks, etc.", due to a dealbreaker that was never included in their profile. To which, I always suggest to them that they revise their profile and add that dealbreaker very clearly in it, for both their sake, so they don't get interest and messages from incompatible men, and as a courtesy to guys like me that don't enjoy wasting our time and interest, as well as added disappointment of messaging women that seem compatible, but aren't. And yet, believe it or not, some of these women resent, and get upset at me, when I tell them they should revise their profiles and make the dealbreakers clear in them. Go figure, I guess they are taking a cue from the asshole guys they hate who deliberately do false advertising, by using lies in their profile as well as outdated photos, etc. It appears that some of both genders see online dating profiles as merely a form of advertising, where anything goes and it can all be justified as harmless fibs to get the result they want.

I hear "some" females say it all of the time: "You can't have male friends if you're in a ...

Scooter65 comments on Oct 19, 2021:

I have many more male friends than female friends so I think what you're talking about is an individual thing. Then again, maybe some women are conditioned to think they can't be friends with men.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 20, 2021:

Where I live, in traditional, conservative, backward, Iowa, it appears that both genders are conditioned early on to believe they can't have lasting platonic relationships with the opposite sex, and thus, it doesn't happen very often among straight women and men.

While you're agnostic/atheist, if someone religious shares, say, the same political views as you, ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 19, 2021:

Of course, politics makes strange bedfellows, as they say, and am always glad to make temporary or lasting alliances with religious folks on particular issues, as long as they show respect for me, non-belief and all. But I must admit that, these days, it is rare for religious folks to not be ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 19, 2021:

@Scooter65 I'm sure they exist, unlike unicorns, but I sure haven't run across them every in my 60 something years around this state.

I hear "some" females say it all of the time: "You can't have male friends if you're in a ...

JonnaBononna comments on Oct 19, 2021:

I think there are men and women both who just think men and women cannot be platonic friends. It's ridiculous, really.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 19, 2021:

@GoodMan Thanks for the encouragement and validation. I have looked into trying LD dating, which is what you are suggesting, but I have found few women who are open to it that seem compatible on the site I use. I am not going to join additional sites, as I have already researched that in the past, and found a great amount of overlap and duplication between the sites. As far as there being a woman for me somewhere, that may well be true, but it took me almost twenty years of mostly fruitless dating, with no LTRs, before I finally met my late wife, in 1995, so if it takes that long again, I will already be likely dead or in a nursing home, I am not willing to accept or settle for being alone that long, as I have already been alone for several years now, for all practical purposes, and it has sucked. I am happy with who I am, but I am sick of all the rejection, and tired of being alone this long, after such a long and happy marriage. The problem is the women in my dating pool almost all are not interested in buying or adopting what this doggy in the window seems to be about. And it's a pity, as all of my friends, and even some of the women on Match, who are not my type or vice versa, even acknowledge, that I am a great guy and have much to offer a woman, small consolation that any of that is to me....

While you're agnostic/atheist, if someone religious shares, say, the same political views as you, ...

Charles1971 comments on Oct 19, 2021:

Certainly. I find that most people believe at least some little bit (or a lot) of something stupid... religion, GMOs are evil, candy corn is good, country music doesn't suck, etc. Putting aside ones differences.. as long as they aren't too extreme... for the common good is certainly reasonable. ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 19, 2021:

You really hit the nail on the head with one of those. I have lived in Iowa my whole life and hate country music with a passion. To me, all of it old and new, sounds trite, retarded (yes, I also hate most of that PC crap as well) and really boring. But around here, where I have had to suffer hearing it a lot during my life, you have to say with a whisper that you hate it or even don't like country music, like the music or genre is fucking sacred or something, like you were burning or pissing on the American flag. I also hate all the Elvis Presley worship around here as well, as if he were Jesus H. Christ, the messiah or something. There is a huge amount of stupid in my state, and it certainly explains our fucked up Repub one party state politics around here.

While you're agnostic/atheist, if someone religious shares, say, the same political views as you, ...

Aaron70 comments on Oct 19, 2021:

I don’t get these so called “conservative” atheist. Just go to church with the rest of the intolerant bigoted hateful ignorant fucks or get off the fence.☺️

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 19, 2021:

Well said, that is why I get into beefs with so many of them on here and end up blocking them, as, in the end, they usually fall on the same side as all the Christian Repubs and Christian conservative I hate, at least on most issues. These conservative atheists seem to really only care much about preventing theocracy against them, otherwise they don't care about anybody else and want it to be every man or woman for themselves, no society or common good.

While you're agnostic/atheist, if someone religious shares, say, the same political views as you, ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 19, 2021:

Of course, politics makes strange bedfellows, as they say, and am always glad to make temporary or lasting alliances with religious folks on particular issues, as long as they show respect for me, non-belief and all. But I must admit that, these days, it is rare for religious folks to not be ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 19, 2021:

@Ryo1 Undoubtedly there are some that exist, but I bet they are very few in number, as they sure have been in my personal experience. To answer your ?, yes, and yes, but the respect would have to be a two way street, as I never settle for second class or unequal status, whether in personal friendship, a dating relationship or marriage, or a political alliance. How about you, Ryo1? Care to answer your own ? personally and honestly?

I hear "some" females say it all of the time: "You can't have male friends if you're in a ...

JonnaBononna comments on Oct 19, 2021:

I think there are men and women both who just think men and women cannot be platonic friends. It's ridiculous, really.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 19, 2021:

Agreed. In my experiences with women and platonic friendships, esp. with women who grew up in the Midwest or Iowa, they are very traditional-minded and also pretty rigid about gender roles as well, so most of them tend to buy into one or more of the four beliefs or myths that women have about men and friendships, as stated by the OP. I have been able to still have a number of platonic friendships with women that lasted a while, but a big part of that is probably due to a few factors that are offbeat about me. One is that I am much more sensitive and pro feminist than most of my male peers. Two, is that I am less sexually aggressive than most men and also less macho looking or acting than most. Three, is that I have had plenty of platonic friendships with gay men, without ever feeling threatened or uncomfortable with them, including my longest and best friend, who was the best man at my wedding. Unfortunately, I have a feeling these things work against me in the dating game, as probably a lot of the women in my local dating pool, who I described above as traditional-minded and old fashioned about gender roles and such, probably see me too much as asexual or androganous in my behavior and appearance, so they may consciously or consciously suspect or assume I might be gay. At the very least, I have no doubt it causes most of the women I meet in person from dating sites to feel no chemistry or physical attraction for me, even after one or two in person meetings. And there is not a damned thing I can really do about their outdated, narrow-minded thinking, so it breaks my heart a lot of the time. I am, in many ways, the classic, stereotypical sensitive New Age guy, and so are all my straight male friends, and while those qualities are attractive to most women here on Agnostic.com, they are foreign, strange, and suspiciously gay, I suspect, to most women in my local dating pool, who pretty much grew up on the farm or at least in a rural area. Thus, they prefer the more macho, farmer type man, even some of the women here on Agnostic and other non religious women I have met on Match, who live in Iowa, few that they are, because that is the example they grew up around. Can't change myself or a shitty dating pool, not going to try LD dating either, as it's usually not worth it, and even if it is, it's likely an exhausting emotional rollercoaster that is very hard to find women in my region who are even willing to try it, maybe not on this site, but it sure is hard to find them on Match.

Wise words from a sage

Sticks48 comments on Oct 19, 2021:

Darwinism at work. Stand back and enjoy.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 19, 2021:

You are playing sweet music to my ears with that, Larry....

In a previous posting on whether people.

Charles1971 comments on Oct 18, 2021:

Why am I here and why do I stay? I live in Georgia and am surrounded by religion and its nice to communicate with non-religious people even if its only via the internet. Though initially I did think that I might actually make a friend or two here. So far, I have only made one friend though that ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 19, 2021:

I have never met one single person from here in the flesh, so that tells me that using this site for dating, at least in my state of the union, is useless, and so is the site for even making offline friends in my local area. But I have heard that others living in less religious areas of the country do find dating partners and friends from here nearby.

Tell Texas education system this

anglophone comments on Oct 17, 2021:

I see no difference between the murdering of slaves, the murdering of Jews and the murdering of people of colour. But the fuckwits of the Texa$$ education system are blind to that truth.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 17, 2021:

All they would care about is the murder or loss of privilege of white people, nothing else. And even in that, the murder of poor white people would count for little to them, unless it could be manipulated to fan racial hatred of colored people.

I've had a couple of these come into my life and never even saw it coming.

Heavykevy1985 comments on Oct 11, 2021:

Similar to that is sneating: where someone on a date goes out with you for the free food and drinks. Signs of this may include your date ignoring you and tooling away on their phone. Also, they will order the most expensive thing on the menu

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 12, 2021:

@glennlab Same here. Mostly because, I have usually asked the woman to pay for her meal on the first date, which, once I was middle aged, usually was coffee date or a movie date, so I wasn't ever stuck with a big bill. I used to have a massage therapist who told me that when she was young and single, she would take guys all the time on first dates for the free meal and drinks, while all the while they were hoping or expecting sex from her they were never going to get. She enjoyed the game, and maybe some of the men did too, but I would never expect sex for a meal, or play games with a date. Not surprisingly, she ended up becoming a Trumper....

Of all the incredibly utopian and delusional memes I come across in a daily basis… this one has ...

BufftonBeotch comments on Oct 11, 2021:

Especially if you are christian, white, American and super proud of these things you had nothing to do with.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 12, 2021:

Very true. There is something wrong about taking credit for all kinds of tribal things that you were not responsible for.

New Rule: The Slow-Moving Coup | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO) - YouTube

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 9, 2021:

I have one prediction you can take to the bank, and it applies from now till Doomsday, and that is the Dem Party will never allow a real progressive to be its nominee for prez, because they really don't care about winning in prez elections or controlling congress. They can't wait for the next ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 12, 2021:

@whiskywoman Ok, which parts don't seem true, to you?

Pete Townshend's version of North Country Girl is my favorite.

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 9, 2021:

That is such a great song, one of Dylan's masterpieces of songwriting. He recorded a duet version of it with Johnny Cash that is also really great. I would actually like this version better with just the guitar, and not with the annoying synth, which is kind of distracting.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 11, 2021:

@Spinliesel I can understand that one. My father had a lot of things about him that I really hated, so looking or sounding like him was always disturbing to me. I rebelled a lot as a young adult, probably much of it even unconsciously. No need to say more on your part.

Today, I allowed myself to be engaged in conversation by a Christian.

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 11, 2021:

Confuse not the minds of the simple or ignorant, they will only hate you for it....

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 11, 2021:

@Gwendolyn2018 I have met many so-called educated fools or educated idiots, who may have went to college or even got advanced degrees, but have the common sense of a wounded gorilla. Or the other educated fools who, like this one, choose to be willfully ignorant. I cringe every time, which is often, that I meet a college-educated person who, willfully, has never read another book since college, (and only read and learned grudgingly in college, in order to get the degree and the job that was supposed to come with it) unless it was required reading for their job. Such anti-intellectualism is laughable, if it weren't so sad and pathetic.....

I hate when I get a notification about a comment I made, but the whole thread has been deleted.

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 10, 2021:

Me too. Where's the fun in irritating someone if I can't see the fruits of it, like them showing or proving me right by acting out and reacting to it like the asshole I already knew they were? My count is that I have 60 people blocked on my end, plus at least another couple dozen that have blocked ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 10, 2021:

@Secretguy Whatever, Secretguy, snark away at me. We are clearly more alike than you want to admit.

Pete Townshend's version of North Country Girl is my favorite.

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 9, 2021:

That is such a great song, one of Dylan's masterpieces of songwriting. He recorded a duet version of it with Johnny Cash that is also really great. I would actually like this version better with just the guitar, and not with the annoying synth, which is kind of distracting.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 10, 2021:

@Spinliesel That makes sense. Do you mean his singing voice or his type of expressing himself in his songs, thru lyrics and music? I can understand being turned off by an artist if their content is too negative or intense for you based on your personal experience.

Pete Townshend's version of North Country Girl is my favorite.

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 9, 2021:

That is such a great song, one of Dylan's masterpieces of songwriting. He recorded a duet version of it with Johnny Cash that is also really great. I would actually like this version better with just the guitar, and not with the annoying synth, which is kind of distracting.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 10, 2021:

@Spinliesel I'm curious why you don't like Cohen's music.

Pete Townshend's version of North Country Girl is my favorite.

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 9, 2021:

That is such a great song, one of Dylan's masterpieces of songwriting. He recorded a duet version of it with Johnny Cash that is also really great. I would actually like this version better with just the guitar, and not with the annoying synth, which is kind of distracting.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 9, 2021:

@Spinliesel I think you undercredit yourself by calling yourself simple, but I get you on this. I like folk music a lot too. Including also Leonard Cohen, John Prine, The Indigo Girls, Tracy Chapman, and Joni Mitchell.

I couldn’t access the Zoom meeting on Thursday…I sent you a PM Lisa but I don’t know if you ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 9, 2021:

You can tell your buddies from the Community Senate that I'm back, only had a temp suspension from commenting and posting, so they are stuck with me on the boards, tho I have blocked all three of them so, they won't see me anyway. I did come back to lurk during the suspension and saw how they were ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 9, 2021:

@Marionville Whatever, tell them, don't tell them, they will find out eventually.

I couldn’t access the Zoom meeting on Thursday…I sent you a PM Lisa but I don’t know if you ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 9, 2021:

You can tell your buddies from the Community Senate that I'm back, only had a temp suspension from commenting and posting, so they are stuck with me on the boards, tho I have blocked all three of them so, they won't see me anyway. I did come back to lurk during the suspension and saw how they were ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 9, 2021:

@Marionville I am, for your information, talking about Frayed Bear, Fearless Fly, and The Middle Way, but I am not going to air out my conflict with them here. You either recognize it or you don't. I never said you were party to it or that you were gloating with them about me, but, unlike me, you don't have them blocked and I assume are still running across them on the boards. So that is why I am sending, or trying to send the news to them thru you, should you choose to pass it on for me.

Wanna hear a rape joke?

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 8, 2021:

They are mimicing the same bullying, threatening behavior of their allies in the anti-abortion movement, screaming abuse at women who walk into clinics. If I were one of those parents being harassed and threatened, I would probably lose my temper and shout back at them to stay out of my face or I ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 8, 2021:

@racocn8 Damn right. Fighting this fight would actually be worth it and do some good. Fighting all the wars of my lifetime, which have all been for oil, empire or corporate profits, have never been worth any of the lives lost, as they really didn't make any lasting improvements in the places they were fought, at least as far as making them more like a real and fair democracy. But they sure made a lot of for some Americans and corporations. Which is why I opposed all those wars, because, as a socialist, I saw how the soldiers were being used to fight for the rich and corporations, not for anything that benefitted their fellow peasants. Maybe someday Americans will become sane enough to demand that corporations hire their own mercenaries to fight their wars, not regular citizens, and not be able to use our tax for it. Better yet, that enough Americans wake up and take back our democracy, so that corporations can't fight these wars in the first place, and claim to do it in our name and for our country's benefit, the original and real Big Lie....

Wanna hear a rape joke?

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 8, 2021:

They are mimicing the same bullying, threatening behavior of their allies in the anti-abortion movement, screaming abuse at women who walk into clinics. If I were one of those parents being harassed and threatened, I would probably lose my temper and shout back at them to stay out of my face or I ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 8, 2021:

@racocn8 You're welcome. Unlike most people on the left, esp, the dreaded liberals and Dem centrists, who, to me, don't really qualify as lefties anymore, except on culture war issues, I am a pessimistic realist. I see Chris Hedges, for example, as prophetic, that we will eventually have open civil war all across the country, if we don't already get complete fascism before that under the next Repub. prez in three years. I hope I'm wrong, but I really doubt it. There will be civil war fought openly, if it happens across just about every state on the mainland US, and it will be mostly rural vs. urban fought in regions of each state. I predicted Trump would win the last time, and I was only wrong, narrowly too, because Covid and the economic collapse came along to save Biden, after I had already made the prediction. As far as Satisfaction, a geek like me is probably more along the line of the Devo version than the Stones, lol!

Wanna hear a rape joke?

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 8, 2021:

They are mimicing the same bullying, threatening behavior of their allies in the anti-abortion movement, screaming abuse at women who walk into clinics. If I were one of those parents being harassed and threatened, I would probably lose my temper and shout back at them to stay out of my face or I ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 8, 2021:

@jlynn37 Maybe I realize all that, have no illusions about changing their minds or alleviating or mediating the issue, but just enjoy getting my licks in the same as them. Sometimes, I think it is important and worthwhile to let the enemy know that not all lefties are passive, well-mannered and non-violent, because it not only gives the enemy a tactical advantage, it also turns some people off about our side because they are tired of lefties either always acting like wimpy sissies or hearing that all of our side are that, etc.. For example, if the Jan. 6 rioters had been dealt with harshly, yet not with lots of them being killed and thus becoming martyrs, I think you would have seen a lot less support for them around the country, as many on their side would realize they were not going to be treated gently, and, being that most of them are cowardly bullies, they would have crawled back under their rocks. Letting them know they cannot bully with impunity is an important lesson that needs to be continually taught them, if not by the authorities, then by us in the public sphere, so to speak... And frankly man, with the long history of the cops and military having such an obvious double standard for how they treat folks on the left vs. folks like them on the right, I no longer have any trust in the authorities to treat my enemies appropriately. In other words, it's more up to us than you may think... Another thing to consider, the corporate media and our enemies, are always going to lump peaceful protesters in with antifa, anarchists, and other violent groups anyway, same way the right always lumps liberals and all Dems in with communists, so why continue to care how we are seen by the public as far as how mannered or civil we are? In my mind, it's about past time to keep caring about public image, as we peasants are helpless to control what the corporate media and our enemies say about us. They sure as hell don't care about their public image. It's been a long time since the 60s, when moral outrage by itself produced change and the mass media was actually fair, honest, balanced, and not monopolized by a few corporate conglomerates. Time to quit playing nice like back then and realize, as all serious community organizers do nowadays, that change only comes with hardball organizing and then fighting for power. And most of the time, that includes using the threat of violence to get the authorities, the pols, and the ruling class to make concessions to us. They don't do it out of the goodness of their hearts, they make them because, sometimes, they feel putting up with further violence and continued unrest is bad for business, so to speak, both economically, and also possibly unsafe down the line for the rich and powerful. No one who's rich wants to live ...

Ok, so I went on a first date with a guy a couple of weeks ago.

Tiredofdrama comments on Oct 7, 2021:

Yes talk on the phone first. I tell ladies to Google me, not as many pages as there used to be , but I am there. It is a reasonable background check. Meeting in a public place is good. I have just had someone I met on line invite herself to my place for a coffee as first meet. I was surprised. We ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 8, 2021:

You seem like a reasonable, fair guy, who seems to understand the legit ways women have to fear for their safety and try to be appropriately accommodating to them. If only more men were like us, and acted like gentlemen in the dating game, we wouldn't get hit with as much drama and bullshit heaped on us by cynical, bitter women who generalize all the negative onto every new man they encounter on dating sites, instead of trying to give each new person a clean slate to start with. Because it is and has to be possible to do that and still protect your safety. Doing otherwise is just going to result in failure with the dating process, as either the woman will sabotage any potential decent matches or the guy will get fed up with the woman's negative approach and let her go, and move on from her.

Overseeing his kingdom from the refrigerator.

Diagoras comments on Oct 7, 2021:

We're trying to discourage him from going up there since he jumps on the stove as a step. Don't want him getting burned if it's hot. Pans are left on the stove at all times now. Hopefully it works.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 7, 2021:

Unless he decides to amuse himself by knocking them off onto the floor.

Who likes......Pillow Talk ?

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 6, 2021:

Pillow talk, sheesh, give me a break. I'm still trying to remember what sex was like, lol, having been alone on that for several years now, since my late wife became very ill.... Once or if, I experience pillow talk again with someone, I'll let you know...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 7, 2021:

@HeAdAkE Don't feel rich enough for that, plus it could get addictive, but the real reason, my good man, is that I still have the archaic notion that it is not right to buy or rent people that way. I know that I have been wronged by women in the dating game, but, unlike you, I have not grown so callous as to see buying someone for sex as ok. Guess I'm just over sensitive that way. Maybe if this was a more progressive country, like New Zealand, where sex work was legal and not as exploitive, I could feel ok about it. If I had a cat, you're right, I would probably talk to it a lot, but I don't want the work, the mess and the smell to cope with.. Nice to see you back on the boards, man..I was wondering about you...

The Ring of Fire - Trump Humiliated Melania In Front Of White House Staff Over Her ‘I Don't ...

LucyLoohoo comments on Oct 5, 2021:

Typical of the pustule's behavior when he's thwarted. Let's pick on a woman. (Particularly if she's tied to you by a presumed iron-clad pre-nup.) Shows us all what a BIG MAN he is! BULLY! I doubt that she could take this ''run away with the kid'' advice because I'd bet money she'd lose ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 5, 2021:

You make a good point, but I bet there are many women who have made the kind of hard choice that you are talking about, such as taking the kids and leaving the prick, even if it left them broke and a single mother. I can think of at least one woman here on Agnostic, Deb57, I think, who decided to maintain her dignity and self respect, even if it left her broke and struggling as a single mom to raise her kids, when, as a single mom, she chose to turn down a man who wanted to hire her to be his paid mistress, to cheat on his wife with. Sometimes you have to choose between your own mental health and the safety and emotional health of your kids as well, and having a life of comfort and privilege, as many women have done when they left abusive husbands and left with their kids, including women who were already working poor or poor and had to face the real possibility of being homeless if they left the prick. Trump's ex wives never comment on him publicly, I bet because he either had them sign confidentiality agreements on that as part of the divorce settlement, or because they know if they blab about him they will get sued by him and be left penniless as well.

We always say ‘I wish I knew that when I was 20’ just curious what people older than me wish ...

Zster comments on Oct 5, 2021:

Those poor eating, drinking, smoking choices that your peers have been making, seemingly without consequence, are about to come collecting in spades real soon. I am shocked at the distribution of apparent age spread that started kicking in after 50. How we spent our youth ends up mattering after ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 5, 2021:

You're right about that and, at least in my case, the family genetics start to kick in as well at age 50 or so. That is when I started to develop my inherited cardiovascular conditions my parents passed on to me, as well as the varicose veins in one of my legs, inherited from my father. So both youthful health habits and genetics can be destiny, even if they don't show up until middle age. I have really noticed, at my age, how people who spent way too much time in the sun as young adults and/or were longtime smokers, really show their age or older in their appearance once they start into their 50s. Their skin is wrinkled, yellowed, or very dark brown, depending on their habits, and the smokers teeth begin to yellow also. In the case of my sister in law, she also seems to have mascular degeneration of her eyes, from all the time in the sun. We always seem to pay eventually, for your health habits.

Parody on mask wearing

RobertMartin comments on Oct 1, 2021:

Mask debaters. If it weren't for the captions, I would've heard masturbaters. I wear masks and have been vaccinated. I also received a flu shot earlier this afternoon.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 2, 2021:

Reminds me of high school, when the debate team entered an intramural basketball team that season and called their team The Master Debaters, just so each morning when the intramural scores were read over the school's PA system with the daily announcements, they would get the chance to hear the student announcer screw up and call their team The Masturbaters.... Ah, good times.... I'm also proud to say that my team, made up of me and other members of the boys swim team, beat them in our one game against them...

WIFE WANTED! $2,000 FINDER'S FEE IF YOU SEND THE RIGHT WOMAN TO ME, WE FALL IN LOVE, AND GET ...

Susieq comments on Oct 1, 2021:

You sound like a hoot. I ‘ll bite. I’m available

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 1, 2021:

I'm guessing he would foot the bill for the plane tickets, to pursue a bicoastal romance....

Does a spiritual but not religious person say grace?

mischl comments on Oct 1, 2021:

I define spirituality as being in touch with one's own human spirit. It's another term for describing the "inner mind" which has knowledge and powers unknown to most people. It has nothing to do with gods, beliefs, angels, and all that other religious bullshit.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 1, 2021:

I concur. It's about recognizing there is more to our reality than just our physical matter, our brains and minds, but also a human spirit and possibly even spirits in nature and animals as well. Which is why I am humble enough to identify as Agnostic instead of Atheist within our community of non-believers, because I accept the possibility that I could be wrong and that there may be more to the world and our reality than what our senses can detect. I also agree with your concept of the inner mind, something that humans continue to learn more about with time.

Does a spiritual but not religious person say grace?

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 1, 2021:

I have frequently seen that label used on dating sites as an option or choice among other labels for one's religious affiliation when the member is completing their profile and choosing which ?s to answer and what way to label themselves. The sad fact is that, esp. in my area of the country, and ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 1, 2021:

@FearlessFly Yes, and yes. I am also being realistic about the dating pool I have to work with. Can you honestly say you would do any different if you were spending your good money on a dating site? I mean the whole point of it is to hopefully eventually meet someone that you can connect with. How can you connect if the vast majority is going to be too turned off or even confused by the labels Agnostic or Atheist to even give you a chance to get to know you and vice versa? I see you live in MN, possibly even in or around Minneapolis, which is a whole different ballgame, from what I hear, than Des Moines, Iowa, where I live. Much more diverse and more secular. So don't fucking judge me so quick and easily, FF. Yup, checked your profile, you do live near the Twin Cities, so I was right. You live in a much better dating pool than me, so you can afford to be so bold and honest, but you can fuck yourself as far as judging me when you live where you do.

Does a spiritual but not religious person say grace?

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 1, 2021:

I have frequently seen that label used on dating sites as an option or choice among other labels for one's religious affiliation when the member is completing their profile and choosing which ?s to answer and what way to label themselves. The sad fact is that, esp. in my area of the country, and ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 1, 2021:

@FearlessFly Probably true, but in this situation, probably appropriately pragmatic...

WIFE WANTED! $2,000 FINDER'S FEE IF YOU SEND THE RIGHT WOMAN TO ME, WE FALL IN LOVE, AND GET ...

BitFlipper comments on Oct 1, 2021:

I thought this was a joke until I checked the poster's profile. He's serious. BUT THEN I haven't seen many men's dating profiles, so maybe this is a winner.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 1, 2021:

We can only hope. My guess is that he will attract only younger women who are golddiggers or scammers.

Most Americans today are convinced that Socialism has failed or will fail in the near future...

Piece2YourPuzzle comments on Sep 24, 2021:

Most Americans don't even know what socialism is.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 1, 2021:

@Piece2YourPuzzle Amazing and disturbing..

Well, boy did I get played.

twill comments on Oct 1, 2021:

This is why:::: Either we meet very soon, like within 2 weeks, ( unless we've barely chatted) or .....this might/ will drag on forever. I've Wasted too much time on such silliness. (Anything over an hour) there is NO FUCKING EXCUSE, If you're on a dating site to meet someone, or not. If you ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 1, 2021:

Agreed. I won't let it happen again, I assure you. I will either meet them in person, or at least a video chat, within two weeks or less in the future. If they pull bullshit excuses to delay, then it's Next!, because they are either too busy to be dating, more interested in other guys they are already connected with from Match, or else just interested in playing games or finding a text buddy. A video chat or in person meeting is necessary to really know if there is or might be any chemistry or physical attraction, at least on my part, and I don't want to waste my time or theirs by letting it drag on for longer than two weeks to get that decision made. Because if the answer to that ? is a no, then why waste all that time trading messages and discussing likes, differences, etc. if it's never going to go further than a friendship? I know that most women disagree with this, because they either say or honestly believe in doing this long friendship process early in dating, and I get that, too many men are just focused on moving to sex as soon as possible, while I am not that at all. But on the other hand, we all want to date someone from dating sites that has mutual physical attraction, not just to gather a harem or collection of opposite sex friends from the dating site. So it's best to get that ? settled as soon as possible before investing all that time in continuing to meet up and stay in the friend zone before later deciding to move on to sex. I think my approach is still a long way from the current practice of most young people to start with sex-the so-called sex interview-before deciding whether to get to know the other person as a person later.

Most Americans today are convinced that Socialism has failed or will fail in the near future...

Piece2YourPuzzle comments on Sep 24, 2021:

Most Americans don't even know what socialism is.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 1, 2021:

And the corporate media makes sure they never do and never will....

Exactly right. 100%

BD66 comments on Sep 30, 2021:

so·cial·ism noun a political and economic theory of social organization which advocates that the means of production, distribution, and exchange should be owned or regulated by the community as a whole. Socialism fails every time because you take the means of production, distribution, and ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 1, 2021:

@BD66 Fuck off. You still refuse to admit how right I am about at least the rest of my comment about you. Time to block, asshole...

Exactly right. 100%

BD66 comments on Sep 30, 2021:

so·cial·ism noun a political and economic theory of social organization which advocates that the means of production, distribution, and exchange should be owned or regulated by the community as a whole. Socialism fails every time because you take the means of production, distribution, and ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 30, 2021:

@BD66 I hate how you dishonest conservative fuckers keep bringing up Bernie as some straw man argument against socialism. Like the OP, JB stated, the US has no viable socialist party going. And Bernie and even The Squad, have no power whatsoever in the Dem Party or the fed govt., as they are overwhelmingly outnumbered by centrist, neoliberal corporate Dems. They are merely given attention for show and to keep the Dem base safely sheepdogged inside the party instead of leaving for a real socialist or progressive party. And you damn well know it, but you keep making these phony bullshit arguments as if Bernie and the other progressives actually had real power in DC, like Manchin and Sismea have. Quit your fucking lying, you dishonest fuck. You are fooling no one who is actually informed and intelligent here on Agnostic, just spreading the misinformation for you and your conservative pals. Your gratuitous red-baiting is also very tired and outdated. Maybe we should return the favor and properly lump you in with Pinochet, Franco, Hitler and other right wing authoritarians that you favor, as you are in favor of freedom only for the rich and white supremecists such as yourself. There is nothing patriotic in your support for right wing authoritarianism. You'll never be rich, I bet, but you will always be the latter, a white supremicist, if you support authoritarians.

It is hard to deal with irrational people, religious or not.

xenoview comments on Sep 30, 2021:

If they want the note to not get the covid vaccine, then make them sign a form say they can't get treatment for covid at the hospital.

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 30, 2021:

That would be a fair agreement.

Health and Happiness are a relative thing, the scale slides as we get older.

Organist1 comments on Sep 28, 2021:

Come back when you're 60! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 29, 2021:

dalefvictor- I was addressing only Organist, sorry you took it wrongly.

True here!!

OldGoat43 comments on Sep 28, 2021:

## SOCIALISM AT WORK: Almost 100% of the Government support network available for seniors could be called Socialist Programs. How many people refused to accept the checks which were sent out to support them during the pandemic. Nobody in this part of the country is afraid of WIC or Food Stamps, ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 29, 2021:

@CuddyCruiser Because they are too braindead to be allowed to live, yet they go on anyway...

Good Bye and Good Riddance: So if you’re angry, guess what?

TomMcGiverin comments on Sep 28, 2021:

I drove a school bus for several years before I retired. One guy quit last year because he is a right winger who didn't want to mask up for the job, but it really didn't cost him much because for him it was a second job after his upholstery shop. So he has been sticking with that and I'm sure it's ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 29, 2021:

@MyTVC15 Even with all the windows open, which will not be possible in a couple weeks after it gets colder here, the ventilation in the buses is poor. As far as masks, shit, you can't even get all the kids to stay in their seats, much less keep their masks on, and in my district, the schools can't even require masks in school or on the bus, thanks to our governor. I knew when Covid hit that it would scare away all of the older drivers, at least the ones who didn't need the money really badly.

Health and Happiness are a relative thing, the scale slides as we get older.

Organist1 comments on Sep 28, 2021:

Come back when you're 60! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 29, 2021:

@dalefvictor, @Organist1 I wish I could still get dates like you. And I don't think I'm that bad looking...

Health and Happiness are a relative thing, the scale slides as we get older.

Organist1 comments on Sep 28, 2021:

Come back when you're 60! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 29, 2021:

@dalefvictor I generally agree. There are a lot of women my age that I would like to try to date from here, but they all live at least a few hundred miles away or more, and in every case they are not willing or able to relocate and I am not willing to relocate or date LD. Almost none of them are willing to do that last one either. So, round and round we go, and the paid dating sites are the only real option, at least for me. And those have way too few women who are my type and way too much competition from guys who are better looking and have more money, as well as having kids, which is a dealbreaker for the vast majority of women in my local dating pool. Only family men need apply.