TomMcGiverin's Profile

I sure wish the Obama's would throw their support to Bernie. That would be huge! [cnn.com]

WilliamCharles comments on Sep 9, 2019:

Though that was part of the "Hope and Change" people were expecting, he did not deliver. Sadly, he was largely a Trojan Horse meant as a continuation of the status quo.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 9, 2019:

My fear is that Warren is being groomed to be the new Trojan Horse to fool liberals in case none of the centrists the Dem leadership and the establishment want can win the nomination outright. The media, the Dem leadership, and corporate America, want Biden, Mayor Pete, or Harris to be the nominee, but if those fail Warren is their fallback candidate to serve as the next Obama-all liberal talk, no change, but plenty of selling out.......

Bernie Sanders is a BEAST - Bold Leadership [youtube.com] A few clips of his passionate moments.

Athena comments on Oct 21, 2019:

Always fought consistently for the right issues. He is consistent, bold and a politician who actually cares! And no skeletons in that closet.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 9, 2019:

Same as Ralph Nader. So the media and establishment cope with him by either ignoring him, smearing him, or ridiculing him, that is when they are not bashing him for his age, health, or being too angry.......

Ryan Grim Calls-Out MSNBC On-Air For Ignoring Bernie Sanders [youtube.com]

Athena comments on Oct 26, 2019:

I can't wait until he shows those fuckers what he's made of when he wins 2020.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 9, 2019:

@Athena I agree with all of your last assessment. What happened in 2016 was that Bernie's supporters either voted third party, like me, or didn't vote at all, while I heard that about 10% of Trump's voters said they would have voted for Bernie instead of Trump, but instead voted for Trump because of how much they hated Hillary.

Ryan Grim Calls-Out MSNBC On-Air For Ignoring Bernie Sanders [youtube.com]

Athena comments on Oct 26, 2019:

I can't wait until he shows those fuckers what he's made of when he wins 2020.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 9, 2019:

@Athena I don't doubt that some Bernie supporters might not vote for Warren if she were nominated over him, but I still maintain that the Dem leaders and establishment of the party care more about stopping him than winning over Trump. I think they would be fine with another term for Trump. So I don't see them nominating him in order to beat Trump. As far as my own voting, it's too early for me to say what I'll do if Bernie gets screwed again on the nomination. Last time I voted for Stein. If Warren were nominated, I would probably vote for her but not expect much of anything, other than a replay of the Obama years of selling out......

Ryan Grim Calls-Out MSNBC On-Air For Ignoring Bernie Sanders [youtube.com]

Athena comments on Oct 26, 2019:

I can't wait until he shows those fuckers what he's made of when he wins 2020.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 9, 2019:

I truly hope I'm wrong, but I don't think he'll get the chance with the Dems denying him the nomination. I have no doubt he would beat Trump if nominated by the Dems.

Any other women feel this way?

Sticks48 comments on Nov 9, 2019:

And men are... Too bald Too short Too fat Too weak Too strong... or don't have enough money. Being a human being is full of disappointments.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 9, 2019:

Like you always say, Sticks, it goes both ways......

Well it was inevitable that dating sites would start doing this and I know of one site so far, the ...

Dancing comments on Nov 8, 2019:

I like to know how my potential date feels about weed. I wouldn't filter for it but it's definitely something that I ask very shortly into a conversation. I can see in pictures if a guy is bald. I don't think baldness is a reason to not date someone.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 8, 2019:

@Doraz That is my point. A good dating site that cared about it's customers would allow or facilitate as much sharing of info as possible in the profiles. Instead, most of them just want to operate as cheaply as possible and make the profiles as brief as possible in order to do that.

This seemed worth sharing.

TomMcGiverin comments on Nov 7, 2019:

I am fine with the rest of the list because none of those things causes any harm to others, esp. innocent people. But guns do, so I am not ok with unlimited gun rights.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 8, 2019:

@Logician As Bart Simpson would say, "Get bent"....

Facebook Dating.

slydr68 comments on Nov 8, 2019:

Men generally pick by the picture and don't read, at least in my experience...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 8, 2019:

Not true in my case, but I agree with your generalization.

Well it was inevitable that dating sites would start doing this and I know of one site so far, the ...

Dancing comments on Nov 8, 2019:

I like to know how my potential date feels about weed. I wouldn't filter for it but it's definitely something that I ask very shortly into a conversation. I can see in pictures if a guy is bald. I don't think baldness is a reason to not date someone.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 8, 2019:

The problem is many women do feel it's a reason not to date someone and we have no way of knowing that now unless they say so in their profile essay. I prefer having as much info as possible about someone's preferences in the profile so I don't waste time messaging people who are not compatible. Wouldn't you prefer that all profiles say whether they are conservative or strongly religious, so you didn't have to waste time messaging people who are that??

Well it was inevitable that dating sites would start doing this and I know of one site so far, the ...

darthfaja comments on Nov 7, 2019:

Why do people on this site use words like Batch instead of Match? I’ve noticed it many times and I’ve never understood why.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 7, 2019:

@CarolinaGirl60 Very true. I think they only care about our money. Whenever I have contacted them about their changes in profile format, they have simply blown me off with excuses for why they changed their policies. They really don't care about their members as long as they pay.

Well it was inevitable that dating sites would start doing this and I know of one site so far, the ...

darthfaja comments on Nov 7, 2019:

Why do people on this site use words like Batch instead of Match? I’ve noticed it many times and I’ve never understood why.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 7, 2019:

Because the originator of the group asked us to not use the proper name of the dating sites we are referring to in order to maintain plausible deniability in case the dating sites read our posts and comments and didn't like what we said about them. It makes it harder for them to sue Agnostic.com or cause trouble for us.

Well it was inevitable that dating sites would start doing this and I know of one site so far, the ...

Sticks48 comments on Nov 7, 2019:

Since my pictures show I am bald, that isn't a problem. Since they see my profession is musician they assume I smoke pot, have no money, and I am a heathen, and they would be right.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 7, 2019:

I get that Sticks. They can see we are bald from our photos. I just resent having to waste time on messaging women who will reject me on that when there is and was an easy way to prevent that before the site took away the trait listing option of women being able to list what hair colors, including baldness, that they were looking for and willing to accept. I just resent the extra work of messaging women who are unaccepting of this when I could be spared that. It makes me feel like the site doesn't care at all about me as a member.

This seemed worth sharing.

TomMcGiverin comments on Nov 7, 2019:

I am fine with the rest of the list because none of those things causes any harm to others, esp. innocent people. But guns do, so I am not ok with unlimited gun rights.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 7, 2019:

@azzow2 Bullshit argument and you know it. The fact is that way too many people are too nuts or hateful to be trusted with guns, hence, we need reasonable gun control laws to prevent the carnage these people wreak with their guns.

I am curious as to whether other women find the following passages (taken verbatim from a message to...

273kelvin comments on Nov 4, 2019:

Okay, this guy is an arseshole and if a woman posted that I would swipe left too. However, there are some small grains of truth there. I have pretty much stopped online dating atm because you see the same faces month in and month out. Some of them have been there for years. Now I would say this to ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 4, 2019:

@Gwendolyn2018 I suspect that on sites like Match, that men do outnumber women by quite a bit, even at my age.

I am curious as to whether other women find the following passages (taken verbatim from a message to...

273kelvin comments on Nov 4, 2019:

Okay, this guy is an arseshole and if a woman posted that I would swipe left too. However, there are some small grains of truth there. I have pretty much stopped online dating atm because you see the same faces month in and month out. Some of them have been there for years. Now I would say this to ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 4, 2019:

@Gwendolyn2018 In my two years of online dating I have seen at least several dozen profiles of women that interested me, maybe even close to a hundred or more, but have only ended up with about a dozen that I met in person after messaging them, getting replies from them, and then messaging enough to ge thru the usual dealbreakers positively enough to end up meeting. That means out of about a hundred or more women that I liked enough to want to meet, only about twelve of them were positively impressed enough to want to meet me. In other words, you were getting a lot more interest from the opposite gender than I was. Some of that is probably because men on dating sites are more aggressive than women and try contacting more women than vice versa.

I am curious as to whether other women find the following passages (taken verbatim from a message to...

273kelvin comments on Nov 4, 2019:

Okay, this guy is an arseshole and if a woman posted that I would swipe left too. However, there are some small grains of truth there. I have pretty much stopped online dating atm because you see the same faces month in and month out. Some of them have been there for years. Now I would say this to ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 4, 2019:

Quite true. Theoretically, there are hundreds of women in my local area that fit my age range, but after you factor in the deal breakers and traits that you mentioned, as well as the limited number of women that will accept a bald, childless, Agnostic man (when the vast majority of women's profiles make it clear that they only want men who are family men who are also Christian and above average looking), it really comes down to only a couple handfuls of women to choose from that are mutually compatible. Which is why in two years of online dating, I only met about a dozen women in person from the dating site.

Are there songs that have distinct religious messages or even religious overtones that you like ...

kiramea comments on Nov 3, 2019:

I used to listen to a group call The Second Chapter of Acts when I was younger. I still occasionally listen to them because I love their harmonies. At the moment I'm obsessed with a group called The Hu. It's more spirituality then religion (they're a Mongolian Heavy Metal band), but their music is ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 3, 2019:

Same way with me as far as The Second Chapter and also Barry McGuire during his Christian rock days.

Has anyone here ever felt good about online dating apps etc.?

TomMcGiverin comments on Nov 2, 2019:

They are very impersonal and most of them do not allow you to put enough info into your profile for people to learn enough about you for matching. Thus, with most dating sites it comes down to people selecting others to contact mostly based on the attractiveness of their profile photos. In other ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 3, 2019:

@GreatNani It is what it is......

Has anyone here ever felt good about online dating apps etc.?

Rignor comments on Nov 2, 2019:

After my separation a divorce in 2010-11, I was “dating” someone (long painful story) I met IRL. Towards the end of that episode, I started to realize what I wanted in a partner. I tried signing up for one site, and was actually rejected, told that “they could it help me”. That was the ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 3, 2019:

@GreatNani They do that with the dysthymia scale. Dysthymia is a form of depression that is very long term and chronic, but milder than major depression. If you score too high on that scale, which is part of the E site's profile inventory of ?s, they reject you as a member.

Has anyone here ever felt good about online dating apps etc.?

Rignor comments on Nov 2, 2019:

After my separation a divorce in 2010-11, I was “dating” someone (long painful story) I met IRL. Towards the end of that episode, I started to realize what I wanted in a partner. I tried signing up for one site, and was actually rejected, told that “they could it help me”. That was the ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 2, 2019:

The E site has a dysthymia scale that they use to screen out anyone who is prone to depression. I'm guessing that's why they rejected you. Rightly or wrongly, anyone who has issues with depression is unable to use that site, so that leaves only the rest for them. The M site is the only one I've found that seems worth any money because the others, at least in my area, do not have the combination of both a deep enough dating pool and an adequate amount of info in the profiles to know who is compatible or not.

Has anyone here ever felt good about online dating apps etc.?

TomMcGiverin comments on Nov 2, 2019:

They are very impersonal and most of them do not allow you to put enough info into your profile for people to learn enough about you for matching. Thus, with most dating sites it comes down to people selecting others to contact mostly based on the attractiveness of their profile photos. In other ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 2, 2019:

@GreatNani You've got it!

Opinion: Why millennials are skipping church and not going back

moosepucky comments on Oct 28, 2019:

They get all they need and want from their cell phones.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 28, 2019:

@moosepucky As Bernie would say, " We are doomed!". I generally feel loathing and disgust about these trends in that generation, while they feel no love lost for Boomers like me. In each case, there is plenty to dislike about the other generation as a whole, while at the same time there are good and righteous members of each generation.

Opinion: Why millennials are skipping church and not going back

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 28, 2019:

After reading the article, and looking at my own experience, I would say that most of these millennials are going to be in for a long life of loneliness without much in the way of community or social support systems after they leave church behind. Unfortunately, for most Americans who don't do ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 28, 2019:

@TrailRider I doubt it. I have tried a few Meetup groups in my local area and they do not seem like much of a substitute for actual communities like churches. The vast majority of people in Meetup groups do not seem to have any real loyalty or commitment to these groups. Instead, the usual pattern of behavior of these young people is to officially join a bunch of these groups at the same time while actually only attending maybe one or two of these groups, and even then, to not attend them regularly. Their whole attitude towards these groups seems to be one of trying to constantly give themselves lots of options of things to do, then deciding as late as possible which option is the best one, for fear of missing out on something better that might come along. Very shallow and self-centered. Not the way that community is built between people.

Lol. Did anyone watch game 5 of the world series?

Deiter comments on Oct 28, 2019:

Not to be a Deiter Downer but the true flex of power, real power, is to be a complete criminal, to blatantly enrich yourself, install your sycophantic family as advisors, to lie knowing they know you're lying while having the support of a fawning party and media channels that make you completely ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 28, 2019:

Leonard Cohen has proven to be a true prophet with songs like that ( Everybody Knows) and The Future....

Hi Everyone! Good Evening! Got home from work by 2.

BitFlipper comments on Oct 24, 2019:

I'm retired so have no work life. I've been trying to create a social life to distract myself from the loneliness, and it's turning into a burden. Sometimes I think I would rather just stay in bed all day every day.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 24, 2019:

I hear you on that. Before I met someone recently, it was pretty tough most days to stay out of bed after getting up. Much easier now. I guess hope and some companionship do a lot to lift one's mood. This is only the second time in my life that I have had someone to date steadily AND not have problems with either getting work or dealing with a bad job situation. This is probably as good as it gets and I try to remember that.

It must be the change of seasons or some other phenomena I am unaware of, all of a sudden I've been ...

Soarfeet comments on Oct 21, 2019:

feast or famine... congrat's on finding one that suits you.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 21, 2019:

@Soarfeet I have never been overwhelmed with choices to the point of needing to hide my profile, but it seems like nowadays most women, like you, who are above average-looking, seem to end up hiding their profiles some of the time. I assume they do that because they become overwhelmed with messages from men. So, I have to disagree with your assumption that both genders are wrong in thinking it goes equally both ways as far as being overwhelmed with choices. But then again, I am not above average-looking and you are. I think it is more about level of looks, rather than gender, that determines who is spoiled with too many choices. I also have not been on dating sites for ten years, just the last two.

It must be the change of seasons or some other phenomena I am unaware of, all of a sudden I've been ...

Soarfeet comments on Oct 21, 2019:

feast or famine... congrat's on finding one that suits you.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 21, 2019:

It really does go that way with dating sites. Jan.-Feb. and late summer seem to the feast times.

I had a coffee with the woman I've chatting with for about three weeks.

BitFlipper comments on Oct 19, 2019:

I've had meetings with a few women in the past few months where there was likewise no chemistry, BUT the experience has served to let me be more relaxed and less nerdy. Just yesterday I had dinner with one special woman, and all those seemingly-pointless meetings paid off. I was relaxed and ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 19, 2019:

Exactly right. Getting regular practice at meeting women from the dating sites is very important in maintaining your skills, remaining relaxed when you do meet someone, and in building confidence in yourself as being dateable. Every opportunity to meet someone is worth the time and effort. Without regular meetings, all those things become rusty and not as strong

Hot Mature Flies Waiting for Viagra Spiders! Sign-up Now! These ads showed up on my Facebook ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 13, 2019:

In my two years of experience on paid dating sites, the better female prospects never reach out to me first. Only two women ever did that seemed at all attractive looking enough for me to be interested in them, but otherwise, those two were not compatible for me. The blunt truth is that most of the ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 13, 2019:

@GreenAtheist I'm afraid you are generally right about Iowa women. They mostly want only men who are at least above average looking, family men with kids, and also Christians. We are chasing a very small percentage of the dating pool here.

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Dancing comments on Oct 13, 2019:

I've reached out first on those sites if a guy catches my attention. I hope I'm a good candidate. 🤔😜

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 13, 2019:

@Doraz I just tell the truth as I see it and let the chips fall. As I get older tho, I do try harder to be tactful if the truth would hurt feelings.

Hot Mature Flies Waiting for Viagra Spiders! Sign-up Now! These ads showed up on my Facebook ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 13, 2019:

In my two years of experience on paid dating sites, the better female prospects never reach out to me first. Only two women ever did that seemed at all attractive looking enough for me to be interested in them, but otherwise, those two were not compatible for me. The blunt truth is that most of the ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 13, 2019:

@Deiter Well it's definitely true for the majority of women in Iowa, where most are still pretty traditional and conservative when it comes to dating, even the college-educated women. Most of them are only modern, at least in my experience, in that they don't expect the man to pay all the time for meals or entertainment when they are dating someone new. But as far as who pursues who, the men are still expected to do all the work.

Hot Mature Flies Waiting for Viagra Spiders! Sign-up Now! These ads showed up on my Facebook ...

Dancing comments on Oct 13, 2019:

I've reached out first on those sites if a guy catches my attention. I hope I'm a good candidate. 🤔😜

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 13, 2019:

You are the rare exception. Most women who reach out first, at least in my local area, are not nearly as attractive-looking as you.

Dating sites.

UUNJ comments on Oct 10, 2019:

No luck on Match so far, but I’m signed up for two local Match-sponsored events — a hike and a sausage-making class. Maybe meeting live will work out.

TomMcGiverin replies on Oct 12, 2019:

I've been on Match for two years now and even tho my metro area has a pop. of several hundred thousand, Match has no local live events. They say there isn't enough interest, which I think is a BS excuse.

Has anyone actually paid for Match.com or is it the load of garbage I think it is?

ShadowAmicus comments on Sep 29, 2019:

Never used any pay to date site .... to me it seems much too close to paying a pimp ..... pay for sex? never have , never will ... excepting the dinners, evenings out, dresses, sexy undies ... this could become an almost endless list of payments ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 29, 2019:

Good luck to anyone about never using a paid dating site. After a certain age, they become the only real viable way to meet anyone for most people, unless they are above average looking. As for all the other ways that men indirectly pay for sex, I hear you bro, we all pay as men, either directly or indirectly...even in this day and age.....but then again, so do some sugar mamas......the only men who don't pay are gigilos and male prostitutes, I suppose...

have not been on this site for bit, had car accident and suffered a concussion, lost a month, and ...

Annabelle95991 comments on Sep 29, 2019:

Well...... Very well then

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 29, 2019:

As the actor Jim Carrey used to say in one of his roles, " Well, alrightly then!"...

Has anyone actually paid for Match.com or is it the load of garbage I think it is?

BitFlipper comments on Sep 29, 2019:

I've paid for OKCupid and Zoosk, and I've connected with a few and even met a couple. I have to attribute my lack of success to the fact that I'm just not attractive enough.

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 29, 2019:

No offense Bit, you're probably right about that. I know that, and being very offbeat for my local dating market, were probably why I had almost two years of failure. It is what it is.......

Has anyone actually paid for Match.com or is it the load of garbage I think it is?

lerlo comments on Sep 29, 2019:

Yes I've paid a couple times but they give men a guarantee, if you dont fall in love in 6 months the next 6 are free. But WARNING, they dont take profiles off the site of people no longer on there. So you could be messaging someone who will never get it. I guess if you just wait for contacts to ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 29, 2019:

Most people from Match are on other sites. I've seen it by browsing other sites and from OT. All sites have a lot of old, inactive profiles. Also, I got two free six month subscriptions from Match after not finding anyone. I was on the end of one of those when I met the woman I am now dating. Took almost two years to meet anyone right for me and someone to date steady. Match no longer appears to offer the free six month thing anymore to men if you don't meet anyone steady, so I lucked out on that. I still ended up paying for three six month memberships on Match.

No space for Mommy on the couch. But that's ok cause Mommy sits on the chair.

TomMcGiverin comments on Sep 29, 2019:

Looks like someone is a crazy cat person with too many cats.

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 29, 2019:

@graceylou I sometimes feel the same way about humans, so no offense meant. I am glad you keep the rescues with no homes.

Let's END PERSONHOOD for corporations and get money out of politics.

TomMcGiverin comments on Sep 27, 2019:

It's a nice thought, but the only way big money will get taken out of politics is if a majority of the voters were willing to start voting for a third party that backed this, along with a credible threat of voters dumping all the incumbents from both corrupt major parties. Then, and only then, would...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 27, 2019:

@KKGator True, because it's not just Citizen's United to overturn. There is also Buckley v. Valeo from the 1970s. That one ruled that money equaled free speech.

I find this to be quite representative of the "Dating Experience" here on Agnostic.

MarkiusMahamius comments on Sep 26, 2019:

you mean stuff thats completely made up?

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 26, 2019:

@MarkiusMahamius I guess only LH knows for sure, and I really don't care what she says or thinks anymore.

I find this to be quite representative of the "Dating Experience" here on Agnostic.

MarkiusMahamius comments on Sep 26, 2019:

you mean stuff thats completely made up?

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 26, 2019:

I have always considered that possibility. Another reason I blocked her.

[consumer.

ToolGuy comments on Sep 25, 2019:

I have a life. Too many to report!

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 25, 2019:

@Soarfeet See my point above, both the scammers and Match making money, won't ever stop.

[consumer.

Bobbyzen comments on Sep 25, 2019:

The article is specific to emails from Match like the one I got today. Match blocks messages to paid subscribers from known scammers. But if you’re not a paying member - which I am not currently - Match will send you an email like this. To view the profile you must subscribe, only to find, ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 25, 2019:

That's why I don't bother with free memberships to sites besides this one, because they are a waste of time. They always cause you to pay if you want to message someone or read their profile, whatever. The sites all have tricks to make you pay in order to get any real benefit from them.

I find this to be quite representative of the "Dating Experience" here on Agnostic.

DenoPenno comments on Sep 25, 2019:

I must be missing some of this and what I click on turns out to be the Adams Family. I chose not to jump on the bashing bandwagon here.

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 25, 2019:

As my grandpa used to say, "Suit yourself".

I want a Girlfriend!

BitFlipper comments on Sep 25, 2019:

I want one too, but **EVEN I** know this won't work. (Full disclosure: I don't know what *will* work either)

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 25, 2019:

I don't know everything, but I do know that on Agnostic a shirtless bathroom selfie and a limited bio won't get it done.....

Everything That’s Wrong With Elizabeth Warren - YouTube

TomMcGiverin comments on Sep 25, 2019:

None of this surprises me. She is a replay of Obama 2008, vague and slippery, saying just the right things to publicly court liberals and progressives, while behind the scenes selling them out. Then, once in office, governing like a Repub on all the issues and policies that really matter, like ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 25, 2019:

@jniece You are so right that Trump would crush her like a bug, particularly in the debates, while Bernie is the one candidate Trump fears. Bernie is way tougher and from NYC. He knows how to fight bullies. Warren is too nice and genteel.

I thought I had an actual real and acceptable guy contact me last week.

TomMcGiverin comments on Sep 23, 2019:

Was this here or on a paid dating site? I wouldn't necessarily close the account on a paid site unless this is the closest you have come to a match in several months. I went thru a dry spell of almost six months, which is probably way longer than anything you've experienced since you have superior ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 25, 2019:

@BitFlipper I do the same thing in my initial messages, bro. It's not your approach, it's about looks. I garrauntee that if you used someone else's pics that was not bald and thinner, your response rate would skyrocket, but what would be the point of it? They would just reject you later when you met them.

I thought I had an actual real and acceptable guy contact me last week.

TomMcGiverin comments on Sep 23, 2019:

Was this here or on a paid dating site? I wouldn't necessarily close the account on a paid site unless this is the closest you have come to a match in several months. I went thru a dry spell of almost six months, which is probably way longer than anything you've experienced since you have superior ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 25, 2019:

@BitFlipper I really feel for you and relate, bro. At least for the initial stages, looks are really important in online dating and I wish I could help you on that or that I was wrong about it, but that's how the game is, for both of us. Maybe at later stages, money is also a big factor, but you never know if you aren't making it past the initial screening phase much at all. I am lucky that lately l have met two women I began dating that are both attractive looking to me, but are also around average looking, thus, I am in their acceptable range for looks. If either of them were 8s or above, I am sure they would never have given me a chance, no matter how compatible we are on paper with other areas besides looks.

I thought I had an actual real and acceptable guy contact me last week.

TomMcGiverin comments on Sep 23, 2019:

Was this here or on a paid dating site? I wouldn't necessarily close the account on a paid site unless this is the closest you have come to a match in several months. I went thru a dry spell of almost six months, which is probably way longer than anything you've experienced since you have superior ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 25, 2019:

@Lorajay Based on what you have just shared about yourself, I have no advice for you on what to do then. Sorry you feel you are near your sell date, so to speak.If I were ten years older and lived near you, I would be interested in you, but I am not either of those.

I thought I had an actual real and acceptable guy contact me last week.

TomMcGiverin comments on Sep 23, 2019:

Was this here or on a paid dating site? I wouldn't necessarily close the account on a paid site unless this is the closest you have come to a match in several months. I went thru a dry spell of almost six months, which is probably way longer than anything you've experienced since you have superior ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 25, 2019:

@Lorajay I have been doing just fine lately with online dating, Lorajay, so the problem was not my approach, as far as I can tell. It seemed to be more a matter of timing in the calendar year for enrollment and seriousness of women to want to find a dating partner. Also, another factor, which I know will offend some women on here,( but the truth is the truth, even if it sounds unpleasant) is the fact that until recently on the dating sites I use, there was a relative lack of women who were otherwise compatible for me that ALSO were average looking for me to choose from. The result was that I was often forced to try dating out of my league as far as looks to have very many women to message. I am sure BitFlipper can relate to this. This phenomenon is probably part of the reason for my very low response rate, not my approach to women. Looks and numbers are what most of it is about with online dating, Lorajay, whether you like it or not.

Just when I think I have heard it all, a co-worker at lunch told us about a coupon she found for ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Sep 24, 2019:

Yes, I would, but only on the condition that we both undergo it in the same session. Anything else is unfair. I would not ask this of my SO. I think it is a bad idea and suggests an unusual lack of trust, but then again, some people have been burned so bad they might need this in order to trust ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 24, 2019:

@IrishTxJudy It was very slow and difficult at first, but it was well worth it. Even with her dementia experience, the relationship was well worth it and I have no regrets.

Just when I think I have heard it all, a co-worker at lunch told us about a coupon she found for ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Sep 24, 2019:

Yes, I would, but only on the condition that we both undergo it in the same session. Anything else is unfair. I would not ask this of my SO. I think it is a bad idea and suggests an unusual lack of trust, but then again, some people have been burned so bad they might need this in order to trust ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 24, 2019:

@IrishTxJudy Quite true and a good point. But in the case of my late wife, if I had not been very persistent in pursuing her and taking steps to gain her trust after two previous failed marriages, our relationship would never have happened in the first place. In our case, some or most of the healing of her trust happened during, not before the relationship. However, before she even met me she had already become strong and independent with the help of her friends and the Al-Anon program.

I thought I had an actual real and acceptable guy contact me last week.

TomMcGiverin comments on Sep 23, 2019:

Was this here or on a paid dating site? I wouldn't necessarily close the account on a paid site unless this is the closest you have come to a match in several months. I went thru a dry spell of almost six months, which is probably way longer than anything you've experienced since you have superior ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 24, 2019:

@BitFlipper Keep experimenting, is all I can say, and if it helps, go with whatever works. Most bald men seem to do the facial hair thing, but I don't see any point in it. Many women are not interested in bald men and no amount of facial hair styling is going to change that.

I took myself to lunch ! When I was still dating an over-the-top god person, we discovered this...

noworry28 comments on Sep 24, 2019:

I am the best date that I have been out with. 😁😁. I even went home with myself on the first date, and I still respected myself in the morning.

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 24, 2019:

You sound like the Tom Waits song " Better Off Without A Wife".

😄 One of my best friends, who has been a widow for 10 years this past August has just told me ...

tinkercreek comments on Sep 21, 2019:

My first reaction is to dissuade her from joining any free site, and perhaps any at all!

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 24, 2019:

@SukiSue I get it, the same one as Literate Hiker. In my view, the matchmaking services are also a scam. Very expensive and little garrauntee of results. They have too small of dating pools in them.

I thought I had an actual real and acceptable guy contact me last week.

BitFlipper comments on Sep 24, 2019:

Even though my dating-site profile says "if you like trump you won't like me", I found myself sitting across a table from a trump supporter. And she was articulate, attentive, pleasant face, but politically unaware. A Fox "news" viewer. Oh well, she didn't call back.

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 24, 2019:

No loss there, at least in my book.

I thought I had an actual real and acceptable guy contact me last week.

TomMcGiverin comments on Sep 23, 2019:

Was this here or on a paid dating site? I wouldn't necessarily close the account on a paid site unless this is the closest you have come to a match in several months. I went thru a dry spell of almost six months, which is probably way longer than anything you've experienced since you have superior ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 24, 2019:

@BitFlipper No offense, Bit, it's about more than politics. 90-95% of the women I message on Match never reply. It has way more to do with your and my level of looks. Average looking and below men get little interest, because most women on those sites are not just looking for sex and willing to sleep with just anyone to get it. Also, the women on those sites have plenty of above average looking men to choose from, so they put all their attention into them. It goes both ways, as always, without having to say it, but around here you have to say it so you don't get attacked as misogynist. How tiresome.....

I thought I had an actual real and acceptable guy contact me last week.

TomMcGiverin comments on Sep 23, 2019:

Was this here or on a paid dating site? I wouldn't necessarily close the account on a paid site unless this is the closest you have come to a match in several months. I went thru a dry spell of almost six months, which is probably way longer than anything you've experienced since you have superior ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 24, 2019:

@Lorajay Then I would probably close the account and maybe use Match or Our Time. You would have to pay, but it's really not that expensive and nothing useful is free anymore.Even tho you look young and in great shape for your age, I honestly have no idea which sites are the best for someone your age wanting someone to date that is at least 65 yo. I am guessing it would be Our Time, but that site has such a poor profile format nowadays that doesn't allow much info to be shared with others and it has a lot of scammers on there as well.

😄 One of my best friends, who has been a widow for 10 years this past August has just told me ...

tinkercreek comments on Sep 21, 2019:

My first reaction is to dissuade her from joining any free site, and perhaps any at all!