Groot enjoys!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 12, 2019:

Groot's root....

The new pipe that my mom got me for my birthday. 💛 it!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 12, 2019:

Pretty and it suits you perfectly I hope it lasts you a lifetime. Take good care of it!

War Hero

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 12, 2019:

.....................

Ba-dum tsh 🥁

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2019:

....................

Seems accurate.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2019:

Gad I remember those days.... Woke up with a coyote woman once and I quit drinking after that...

None given...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2019:

.....................

..........

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2019:

Been trying online dating lately.... Seems all they want to do is send me pictures of porn stars saying it is them.... "Send me 200.00 a week and I will send you videos and pictures of me naked..." What the fuck haven't these morons heard of pornhub?

Where it stops, no body knows.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2019:

Guilty...

Praise be to Bacon!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2019:

..................

A Jebus twofer

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 10, 2019:

.........................

Alexa i said ....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 10, 2019:

........................

It's mean, but I laughed pretty hard.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 10, 2019:

Nobody laughs at a pretty girl unless she says something stupid or slips on a banana peel... https://youtu.be/Hn-N26u4-eg

Took me a minute to get this one

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 10, 2019:

We really need a face palm emoji here don't we?

double entendres ... Oh look - BBQ!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 10, 2019:

Re: #1 Here I thought they specialized in Altar boys... #2 Professionally or just with their sons?.... #3 Stocking up the walk in freezer now...

I almost swiped right on this guy on Tinder than I saw where he said “follower of Christ” in his...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2019:

Ran into a lot of those hitting on me on several sites.... WTF don't those dumbshits understand about "anti-theist?..."

I'm not surprised with that name

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2019:

...................

Canadians can own four ''Christmas trees'' per residence.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2019:

6 in California... Mature ones that is the immatures don't count....

Is this why my family doesn’t visit?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2019:

What no Hookah on the top?

It's a constant battle -

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2019:

...................

Smudge the shopping cart wheel. LOL

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 8, 2019:

Should have been the screamer as the squeaky wheel...

It's not about the protest, he's making money

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 8, 2019:

What an ignorant thing to say... He LOST money for protesting and was just listed as a "no show" when they canceled the practice he was supposed to attend.... FYI in todays world Christians own as many or more slaves than Muslims do.... https://www.freetheslaves.net/our-model-for-freedom/slavery-today/

Anybody?....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2019:

Big fucking pigeon....

Anybody?....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2019:

Carry an umbrella...

This all fell on me at work and the Mikes Harder hit me in the face.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2019:

Be more careful please.... Such a nice face it would be a shame to make it hard.... "Did you know?...." "When she is single at 30.... yet you figure...."

Some heroes don't wear capes

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2019:

I would have put "Asshole cop who can't read hides behind this sign..."

Don't know if I wanna take that tour or not...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2019:

Isn't that the boat to the Redlight District?...

If you're not into Obama, if you don’t have half a brain.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2019:

Trump is about as much a president as 7up is a cola....

The Circus that never leaves town.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 5, 2019:

.....................

Get 'em Gretta.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 5, 2019:

..........................

In Ancient German tradition, Krampusnacht is a holiday which is represented by a demon goat who ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 5, 2019:

How.... er.... Grimm....

I think the same way, probably cheaper too! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 5, 2019:

Starbucks the meth dealers of the coffee world

It really does throw you off guard a bit 😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 5, 2019:

Well you could always get one of these for the poor kid....

Spock's guide to childcare.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 5, 2019:

Looks like how I handled my sister when we were young.... Our parents got mad if I hit her so I used the nerve pinch on her instead.... It actually works leaving the victim in incredible pain if you do it right...

I smell weed...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 5, 2019:

...............................

IOW unemployable

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 5, 2019:

Make that man president....

I really did focus on the happy people first. Lol. But seriously, I did.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 4, 2019:

Unfortunately my mind sees both patterns and it keeps flashing back and forth.... During the NSA briefing I had at Northrop I could see the patterns they placed on the screens instantly while others saw random splashes of color.

a few Jeebus Jokes

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 4, 2019:

A few random ones from my collection...

Computer components.🤔

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 4, 2019:

........................

I pity those fools!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 4, 2019:

I doubt it.... Even her own children hate her....

Prescient little blurb

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 4, 2019:

Not so much as you might think.... Heinlein wrote the book "Space Cadet" which was published in 1948 and in Chapter one two boys meet at the induction center when Matt's phone rings he takes it from his pocket and talks with his mother. His new friend Tex tells him he outsmarted his parents by packing his phone in his suitcase....

I cross out the god on nearly every bill that passes through my hands.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2019:

In pasta I trust.... https://www.spaghettimonster.org/2006/11/fsm-money-stamp/

How the cat got it...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2019:

Cat: I told the dog there were Almond Rocas in the litter box....

I cross out the god on nearly every bill that passes through my hands.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2019:

Did you also know that this was pushed by Joe "the drunk" McCarthy at the request of the Catholic church?....

The colorful sparkley are the best

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2019:

https://youtu.be/yhvFSthE_n4

Makes Sense

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2019:

Now we have Blu-ray with 50 GB so you can put so many songs on a single disc you won't hear the same one twice in about 5,000 years...

Sounds right

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2019:

I would have held out for two 21 year old girls....

Need an honest opinion.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2019:

When every year they steal people's pets for the Yulan dog festival?.... I would hardly call it racist more of an outing of unnecessary cruelty.... Unfortunately many Asian cultures do much the same thing even Koreans and Vietnamese... We had a real problem here in California with them right after the war ended because they were setting snares and hunting people's pets... It took a long time to get a lot of the less educated ones to understand this was NOT acceptable behaviour in this country. Still from time to time you find underground meat markets that traffic in cats and dogs. https://youtu.be/JR4RNK1L2DA

Atheist nativity scene - because fairy tales should be interesting.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2019:

T-Rex ate the sheep....

Every morning!!! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2019:

Ibuprofen my ass I take medical marijuana... The other option was Norco....

Never again! Lol!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2019:

Redneck Tamales?....

Fashionable or no?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2019:

Sorry but those are just too damned big she should have opted for a smaller size that is just medically unsound....

Congratulations to @Lizard_of_Ahaz!!! He made it to Level 8!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2019:

My next goal is close I need 5 more OPs to make Anti-Christ....

Congratulations to @Lizard_of_Ahaz!!! He made it to Level 8!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2019:

Weird thing happened remember when I though my PTSD had made me think I had more points?.... As soon as I hit level 8 they suddenly came back.... 4,800 of them now I am thinking I should take my meds and relax for an hour or two....

Uhmmm... No thanks.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2019:

Just think of it as getting toasted....

He's asked for a little head.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2019:

Medusa the original Viking Barbie....

Made me laugh.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2019:

I posted this one a while back several places and people did enjoy it...

Consider all aspects before deciding

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2019:

The solution to this is simple... Stop allowing the same big corporations that keep the fossil fuel economy and environmental destruction of the planet to use slave labor b y holding them accountable.... But of course senile old farts don't understand the economics of wage theft do they?.... On the bright side you soon will when the senate passes their bill to steal your social security so those big corporations don't have to pay taxes on their profits....

Awesome!! So Life-like.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2019:

When you get into a religious argument....

Ouch! but also: LOL

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2019:

......................

It's winter in 21 days

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2019:

https://youtu.be/GgDFxEdpM5Y

Bing Crosby wasn't just a Yankee in King Arthur's Court, he was a double agent!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2019:

.................................

Marty went back in time ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2019:

........................

Elementary

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2019:

Periodically a meme will flop....

That's a nope from me.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2019:

So then M&Ms now comes in cum dumpster flavor?.....

Listen up.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2019:

Stolen....

Oh Deer....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2019:

My taste in Christmas music has always been.... unique... https://youtu.be/yt6cAzUCdkw

I plan on using this response 😉

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2019:

.....................

Not the case...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2019:

I attribute it to excessive inbreeding....

Knowlegde is there for the taking.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2019:

My private library is bigger than the one in this podunk town I live in....

perfect gift for a really stable genius ?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2019:

Sad part is there are people who vote who would be running around Home Depot for hours looking for this.... Really pissed because they can't find it and demanding to know where the blinkerfuild isle is....

Christmas Cats

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2019:

.............................

Makes perfect sense to me

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2019:

.....................

Makes perfect sense to me

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2019:

How about instead we sue the people who instigate these crimes like the KKK, Nazis, GOP, and NRA?...Of course those gun manufacturers PAY the NRA to promote the fear that sells those guns to backwards inbreds who are filled with hate don't they?....

Just a little cold humour....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2019:

"Looks like a good place for a stick up...."

Cat Memes.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2019:

.............................

How could they?!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2019:

Nurse Betty can make it all better for you....

The horror of it all.... [theonion.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2019:

Finally got tired of that obnoxious stalker calling himself "San Diego Airport" he seems to be a bit off and claims to be "sober" but acts like he fell off the wagon....

Well... Where the hell else can I post it?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 30, 2019:

Friend of mine on Assbook fixed it for you....

How about country Christmas music?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 30, 2019:

This is my kind of Xmas music.... https://youtu.be/t039p6xqutU

What are three things you think you need to be happy?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 30, 2019:

I already have a home that I own, my cats, and a modest income that leaves me with only one thing lacking....

Well... Where the hell else can I post it?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 30, 2019:

Somebody quick break out the Photoshop and put Trump's face on this....

It just won't die

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 30, 2019:

When Bevis butts in....

No talking about Christmas yet.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 29, 2019:

.............................

To anyone who has messaged me, I have apparently been navigating the site wrong since I got the app ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 29, 2019:

It's all good I just figured you were real busy and would catch up later is all.... You are doing fine and sometimes the app developers don't get everything right. Which is why I use a computer...

A lil thanksgiving joke for ya

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 29, 2019:

*Groans.....*

Didn’t even make it to 2 pm before my stepdad blew Christmas money at the casino and my mom tased ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 29, 2019:

https://youtu.be/bSQZKH286P4

I never go shopping on Black Friday.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 29, 2019:

Just video the fights for upload to Youtube?.. Good way to make extra cash during the holidays....

Frosty is whipping up a new batch

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 29, 2019:

Vanilla Frosty anyone?....

I find this rather humorous

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 29, 2019:

Isn't it?....

Holiday fun!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 29, 2019:

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.....

My philosophy...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 29, 2019:

...................

Can anyone with theology knowledge (or knows someone with) explain this?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 29, 2019:

Because the people who wrote the bible did it long after the supposed events they described and were not knowledgeable of how the empire worked. Remember they were creating a myth not a history and yes I grant you the fact that during that time there wasn't a hell of a lot of difference between mythologist and historian. The actual censuses taken by the Byzantine empire were done by the same methodology as the Roman empire used. The tax farmers took down the information of who lived where, what they owned, and how much they produced... Tax farmers were people who bid a region to the Emperor saying "I will pay you 'X' amount for the right to collect the taxes for this region" They bought scribes for the recording to keep track of the details and hired soldiers to force people to pay what they demanded. Many of them later bought a place in the Senate with the money they made....

Didn’t even make it to 2 pm before my stepdad blew Christmas money at the casino and my mom tased ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 28, 2019:

Gotta love the holidays....

The cat is back and the fur is flying....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 28, 2019:

Just so you all know this is a real thing... https://www.etsy.com/market/snatch_squatch

The pointlessness of happy-clappy atheism - UnHerd

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 28, 2019:

What a load of horseshit.... If the guy wasn't fleecing people he would be in the gutter with the rest of the failures...

This is my favorite video I have made so far.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 28, 2019:

You are improving keep up the good work and hopefully soon you will make the pros...

Alternative holiday

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 28, 2019:

So stolen this one is going to a friend on Assbook who will adore it...

That's some turkey.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 28, 2019:

Cock of the walk....

..........

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 27, 2019:

......................

A little friendly advice for the men in the group ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 27, 2019:

Intellectually speaking....