It's Friday!!!! 🎉🎊🍻🍻🍻

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 4, 2024:

"Listen up Sharon, I am not trying to be attractive, I am trying to get drunk enough to find you attractive..."

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 5, 2024:

@michelle666gar There is your problem in its entirety.... You are a light weight who can't get drunk enough...

It's Friday!!!! 🎉🎊🍻🍻🍻

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 4, 2024:

"Listen up Sharon, I am not trying to be attractive, I am trying to get drunk enough to find you attractive..."

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 5, 2024:

@michelle666gar Going to need to either increase the dosage or switch to 190 Everclear...

It's Friday!!!! 🎉🎊🍻🍻🍻

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 4, 2024:

"Listen up Sharon, I am not trying to be attractive, I am trying to get drunk enough to find you attractive..."

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 5, 2024:

@michelle666gar Try a glass bottle.... When you look at things through one of those it seems to help...

Just when you thought the IQs of MAGA couldn't drop any lower..... The Idiocracy is upon us…

Betty comments on May 3, 2024:

If this is real then intelligence in the States has gone down the drain.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 4, 2024:

@Betty They don't shit in the streets like the people in India do....

"This is for proud liberal/progressive Agnostic/Atheist Democrats who love politics, humor and an ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 3, 2024:

Trump is not only losing his control of the Republican party but losing votes to JFKjr as well and is going to lose the election as well as being in prison. The only thing we have to worry about is his diaper wearing supporters rioting when this happens and I am ready for that...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 4, 2024:

@CliffordCook The old establishment news services tell you that to keep you upset so you keep watching. This gives them more advertising revenues...

"This is for proud liberal/progressive Agnostic/Atheist Democrats who love politics, humor and an ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 3, 2024:

Trump is not only losing his control of the Republican party but losing votes to JFKjr as well and is going to lose the election as well as being in prison. The only thing we have to worry about is his diaper wearing supporters rioting when this happens and I am ready for that...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 3, 2024:

@anglophone I have a crossbow that will punch a hole through those cheesy plywood shields the Nazis carry without even waving bye bye....

Just when you thought the IQs of MAGA couldn't drop any lower..... The Idiocracy is upon us…

EricJones comments on May 3, 2024:

Wearing diapers over denims proves your an idiot. Diapers go on the inside to catch everything, otherwise you just shit your pants.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 3, 2024:

Like I said.... morons the lot of them...

Just when you thought the IQs of MAGA couldn't drop any lower..... The Idiocracy is upon us…

Betty comments on May 3, 2024:

If this is real then intelligence in the States has gone down the drain.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 3, 2024:

@Betty Intelligent....

Tell me you're a ...........

annewimsey500 comments on May 2, 2024:

For a good time, call!

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 3, 2024:

@michelle666gar, @PaddyO https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BR549

Just when you thought the IQs of MAGA couldn't drop any lower..... The Idiocracy is upon us…

Betty comments on May 3, 2024:

If this is real then intelligence in the States has gone down the drain.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 3, 2024:

It's real.... You can't make shit like this up. This is why I still think at times I was kidnapped as a child by an exceptionally retarded alien species...

Hillary's last laugh

Diogenes comments on May 3, 2024:

Would that be about the same size as his brain?

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 3, 2024:

Compared to his brain it is yuge....

VonShitzInPants

EricJones comments on May 2, 2024:

trump's hawking depends now too??? What's next-gas masks?

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 3, 2024:

@Diogenes Smack him on the head and bury him?....

MUGA it is then...

EricJones comments on May 3, 2024:

trump must be livid given that he wants all aid to Ukraine cut off yesterday.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 3, 2024:

https://ukrainematters.shop/

MUGA it is then...

EricJones comments on May 3, 2024:

trump must be livid given that he wants all aid to Ukraine cut off yesterday.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 3, 2024:

Poor babies... If you want a link to a store that benefits Ukraine when you buy these hats let me know and I will be happy to post it...

here we go again !?!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 2, 2024:

According to Trump 17 X 6 = 112..... It is actually 102 and any idiot can solve that problem in their head in less than 15 seconds....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 3, 2024:

@puff Please just keep your stupidity to yourself...

here we go again !?!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 2, 2024:

According to Trump 17 X 6 = 112..... It is actually 102 and any idiot can solve that problem in their head in less than 15 seconds....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 3, 2024:

@puff Red=ad the first sentence of the second paragraph you idiot.... Vaccines are not curatives which you keep demanding they have to be to be considered a vaccine. As for "herd immunity" have you ever seen the figures ranchers have to face in economic losses? This is why so many of them vaccinate their livestock when possible or stupidly feed them a constant supply of antibiotics which only makes them ineffective for both animals and humans. https://www.farmanddairy.com/columns/herd-immunity-comes-at-a-cost/622015.html

easy now, one at a time

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 2, 2024:

Nor does "doing shots..."

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 2, 2024:

@Betty Directly to the point isn't it?...

here we go again !?!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 2, 2024:

According to Trump 17 X 6 = 112..... It is actually 102 and any idiot can solve that problem in their head in less than 15 seconds....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 2, 2024:

@puff Damn that was so stupid it made you sound like a MAGA Republicunt... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaccine

here we go again !?!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 2, 2024:

According to Trump 17 X 6 = 112..... It is actually 102 and any idiot can solve that problem in their head in less than 15 seconds....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 2, 2024:

@puff Scientific illiterates keep spewing that nonsense while their brains rotted during COVID.... Which by the way thanks to the anti-vax COVID is still a problem...

VonShitzInPants

EricJones comments on May 2, 2024:

trump's hawking depends now too??? What's next-gas masks?

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 2, 2024:

How did you guess?...

Here is a cat for you, Lizard_of_Ahaz [facebook.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 2, 2024:

I would rather have a pair of these... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Savannah_cat

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 2, 2024:

@Betty Hopefully not for a very long time as my cats are healthy and happy. They are like my children except I can always trust them...

Bubble Tea translation.

michelle666gar comments on May 2, 2024:

Those balls are pretty tasty! 😂😂😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 2, 2024:

@michelle666gar Video isn't linked correctly...

Bubble Tea translation.

michelle666gar comments on May 2, 2024:

Those balls are pretty tasty! 😂😂😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 2, 2024:

@michelle666gar Like sucking a golf ball through a garden hose? You know a guy probably invented all this so you gals could advertise right?...

Here is a cat for you, Lizard_of_Ahaz [facebook.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 2, 2024:

I would rather have a pair of these... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Savannah_cat

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 2, 2024:

@Betty Then one day their instincts take over and you end up in their bellies... Savannah cats are far different and will follow you from room to room as well as cuddle and are legal in the state of California. Plus they don't eat you for triggering their instincts. Try keeping a lion as a house pet.

Here is a cat for you, Lizard_of_Ahaz [facebook.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 2, 2024:

I would rather have a pair of these... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Savannah_cat

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 2, 2024:

@Betty Too expensive to feed and they aren't legal to own... rightly as they need a pride to be happy but Savannah cats are different bonding to people while big cats are less inclined to do so. If I had several thousand acres I could create a habitat for them on it would be a different matter entirely.

Bubble Tea translation.

michelle666gar comments on May 2, 2024:

Those balls are pretty tasty! 😂😂😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 2, 2024:

@michelle666gar Nope I am not interested in swallowing balls thank you...

Bubble Tea translation.

michelle666gar comments on May 2, 2024:

Those balls are pretty tasty! 😂😂😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 2, 2024:

Ahhh a woman of experience...

I had to search for more memes!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 1, 2024:

And people call me scary...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 1, 2024:

@Betty The only ones attacking innocent civilians in this war are the fucking Orcs... They even used cluster munitions against civilian infrastructure in Odessa... Against military targets is legal under the laws of war what Russia does is terrorism pure and simple... If I had the resources I wouldn't hesitate to destroy all Russian military targets and I include their Orthodox churches in the list as they use them to target civilian and military in regions they are based. Dead is dead and there is no "good way" to die so if you don't want to die sooner then don't start a war of aggression.

I had to search for more memes!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 1, 2024:

And people call me scary...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 1, 2024:

@Betty I hope the Ukrainian Embassy forwards my suggestions to their military for use against the Orcs.... It ought to be fun seeing the damage their long range drones do on the refineries in Russia when they use homemade cluster munitions based on thermite... That would start so many fires everything would burn to the ground before the Russians could even contain the fires. Should be great for use on large munitions storage depots and arms factories as well... and just think of the fun on Russian air fields or ports.

I had to search for more memes!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 1, 2024:

And people call me scary...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 1, 2024:

@Betty As scary as that last meme?...

God dies when ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 30, 2024:

All gods die when faith ends and reason begins.... No links on Google for that one should I get it copyrighted?

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 1, 2024:

@Drank_Spear Looking in the mirror of life again are you?...

God dies when ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 30, 2024:

All gods die when faith ends and reason begins.... No links on Google for that one should I get it copyrighted?

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 1, 2024:

@Drank_Spear I am trying to use smaller words in a detailed statement so you can comprehend....

God dies when ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 30, 2024:

All gods die when faith ends and reason begins.... No links on Google for that one should I get it copyrighted?

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 1, 2024:

@Drank_Spear All faith is just a drug that prevents someone from thinking for themselves or examining the evidence...

God dies when ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 30, 2024:

All gods die when faith ends and reason begins.... No links on Google for that one should I get it copyrighted?

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 1, 2024:

@Drank_Spear Lay off the faith it is a drug that will destroy your mind...

God dies when ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 30, 2024:

All gods die when faith ends and reason begins.... No links on Google for that one should I get it copyrighted?

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 1, 2024:

@Drank_Spear You are confusing information (which is true and can be verified) with misinformation (which is false and needs faith to sustain belief in it). This is the result of too much faith being confronted by the truth... https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2024/5/1/2238265/-Just-when-you-think-the-Catholic-Church-stories-couldn-t-get-worse?pm_campaign=trending=sidebar=web

God dies when ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 30, 2024:

All gods die when faith ends and reason begins.... No links on Google for that one should I get it copyrighted?

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 1, 2024:

@Drank_Spear Faith allows you to believe hate filled nonsense without evidence....It is what makes people strap explosives to their bodies to murder innocent civilians or bomb women's healthcare facilities. It is what makes Nazis march in streets or causes someone to shoot up a night club because the attendees are Gay.... Faith is the root of all evil.

Let's rename some animals

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 30, 2024:

Be glad dog, be very glad that you don't live in North Dakota....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 1, 2024:

@michelle666gar My cats are well loved and even better protected if anyone tried to harm either one or both of them there would likely be a new face on a milk carton....

Let's rename some animals

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 30, 2024:

Be glad dog, be very glad that you don't live in North Dakota....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on May 1, 2024:

@michelle666gar In Ukraine the dogs and cats on the front lines aren't pets they are partners that Ukrainian solders defend and care for as if they were family unlike people like Kristi Noem who only see them as property to be treated with contempt.

Let's rename some animals

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 30, 2024:

Be glad dog, be very glad that you don't live in North Dakota....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 30, 2024:

@michelle666gar https://twitter.com/Gerashchenko_en/status/1785360758794031125?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1785360758794031125%7Ctwgr%5Ebe4a6e203993ec3198d29f5780ad487a21879c3d%7Ctwcon%5Es1_=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailykos.com%2Fstories%2F2024%2F4%2F30%2F2238111%2F-Russian-stuff-blowing-up-Ukraine-launches-ATACMS-assault-on-Crimean-airfields

Let's rename some animals

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 30, 2024:

Be glad dog, be very glad that you don't live in North Dakota....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 30, 2024:

@michelle666gar All Republicans are idiots as they think only their way works when history invariably has shown that it doesn't work at all ....

Let's rename some animals

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 30, 2024:

Be glad dog, be very glad that you don't live in North Dakota....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 30, 2024:

@michelle666gar Yeah that was the one... Bitch did herself no favor spewing her shit and no doubt even the ones who have done that a time or 6 themselves are at least keeping their mouths shut or at best making that practice viewed as filthy as it is...

The story of my life

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 30, 2024:

It is worse when you are retired....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 30, 2024:

@backtobasics Pun....

Let's rename some animals

michelle666gar comments on Apr 30, 2024:

Fuck god

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 30, 2024:

@michelle666gar Claws out Kitty...

The story of my life

glennlab comments on Apr 30, 2024:

We're all tired

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 30, 2024:

@Betty Not with a real rock I hope...

Like Cerberus, but you use corn for the sop.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 30, 2024:

Funny how every time that suggestion gets brought up the Christians go even more batshit insane than they already were...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 30, 2024:

@zeuser Actually we were founded on Enlightenment principals which are the principals of deism... Mentioning that tends to make them shit 10 ton bricks as in their minds it is one step removed from worshiping their devil... Of course when you compare their god and devil the latter seems like a pretty nice guy...

She freaks out

Ryo1 comments on Apr 30, 2024:

You could of told me sooner. :D

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 30, 2024:

"Alot" sooner....

This stupid asshole! 🙄🙄🙄🙄😂😂😂😂

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 29, 2024:

I assume this is Ted Nugent?

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 30, 2024:

It ain't Captain America that's for sure....

Not going to wait for the lottery

EricJones comments on Apr 29, 2024:

With a body like that-your wife didn't pick you for your looks.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 29, 2024:

@Betty Yep 4 strikers there....

Not going to wait for the lottery

EricJones comments on Apr 29, 2024:

With a body like that-your wife didn't pick you for your looks.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 29, 2024:

I am sure she is fatter than he is...

Michell made it level 8

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 28, 2024:

Unless she pulls so hard she slides off the couch....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 28, 2024:

@Betty Having had many Gays and Lesbians as customers in the past I have noticed the men often drink when breaking up but the women drink to excess when they are together...

Michell made it level 8

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 28, 2024:

Unless she pulls so hard she slides off the couch....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 28, 2024:

@Betty Why else would she be drinking so much?....

Michell made it level 8

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 28, 2024:

Unless she pulls so hard she slides off the couch....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 28, 2024:

@Betty Not tell her husband....

Michell made it level 8

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 28, 2024:

Unless she pulls so hard she slides off the couch....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 28, 2024:

@Betty Pretty sure that will be the last thing anyone except her cares about...

Michell made it level 8

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 28, 2024:

Unless she pulls so hard she slides off the couch....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 28, 2024:

@Betty Either way I am sure once word gets around she is going to be very popular....

481 points to level 8!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 28, 2024:

Looks like a Nun getting choked during sex....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 28, 2024:

@Betty Why thank you that was so kind...

Michell made it level 8

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 28, 2024:

Unless she pulls so hard she slides off the couch....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 28, 2024:

@Betty Trying to remove the bottle afterwards might be a bit on the difficult side...

Gotta remember to turn it back to normal.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 27, 2024:

My cats would think that was a new toy just for them and I would lose a buttload of butt napkins

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 27, 2024:

@EricJones And no doubt a desperate need to take a shit... butt out of toilet paper...

Gotta remember to turn it back to normal.

glennlab comments on Apr 27, 2024:

There should be some repercussions for bad puns, but the pun ishment is too tough.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 27, 2024:

@zeuser As long as it makes you exit the room screaming.... Through the wall if the doors and windows are blocked...

In stark contrast to America's Christian nationalists:

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 23, 2024:

And yet he still endorses Ukraine surrendering to Putin so he can finish the genocide he started....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 27, 2024:

@pedigojr More likely it was his own cardinals who didn't want the money laundry shutdown...

Gotta remember to turn it back to normal.

glennlab comments on Apr 27, 2024:

There should be some repercussions for bad puns, but the pun ishment is too tough.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 27, 2024:

You had to go there didn't you? Remember the pun ishment eventually fits the crime....

Can you spot him?

michelle666gar comments on Apr 26, 2024:

I do not miss Chucky Cheese! 🤮🤮🤮

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 26, 2024:

They should have been imprisoned for serving that crap they claimed was "pizza"

Rejected courtroom sketches...

EricJones comments on Apr 24, 2024:

Instead of money in the jar, they should try putting his ass in the hole for 24 hours/violation. And don't forget the vaseline.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 25, 2024:

@racocn8 If this was already in effect his last hearing on the subject of his 7 violations would have netted him 28 days behind bars...

Maggot Gross drop....

racocn8 comments on Apr 24, 2024:

I'd really be curious to know, now that more people are pointing out Putin's beachhead, just what percent of the GOP are compromised? Where the hell is the FBI unless it is compromised too? The rotting fungus of Putin's kleptocracy has penetrated so deeply and so thoroughly, I really doubt these ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 24, 2024:

112 house members....15 senators...

Rejected courtroom sketches...

EricJones comments on Apr 24, 2024:

Instead of money in the jar, they should try putting his ass in the hole for 24 hours/violation. And don't forget the vaseline.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 24, 2024:

@EricJones It would likely keep him in jail longer that his conviction the way he runs his mouth...

Rejected courtroom sketches...

EricJones comments on Apr 24, 2024:

Instead of money in the jar, they should try putting his ass in the hole for 24 hours/violation. And don't forget the vaseline.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 24, 2024:

24 hours the first violation and double the time in each additional one.... 24/48/96....

In stark contrast to America's Christian nationalists:

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 23, 2024:

And yet he still endorses Ukraine surrendering to Putin so he can finish the genocide he started....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 24, 2024:

@Flyingsaucesir And those have always been murderous thugs who just wanted to maintain or increase the power and wealth of the church...

Catholic priest resigns after backlash involving his criticism of a gay author -- Frioendly Atheist

DenoPenno comments on Apr 23, 2024:

How would I know if the author was gay? Maybe some people just check into that to see if an author is gay.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 24, 2024:

Likely he used to be an altar boy at the church....

Happy Wednesday Eve!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 24, 2024:

Believe it or not I have seen gates locked like that....

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 24, 2024:

@michelle666gar It is actually far more common than you think...

New product from DeWalt.....

EricJones comments on Apr 23, 2024:

I prefer Ryobi myself.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 23, 2024:

I guess you can ask them if they make a nail gun in that caliber...

Found a Southern patriot

annewimsey500 comments on Apr 23, 2024:

So fat one wonders how he- gonna reach that hamburger....maybe he spears it on his gun nozzle and points it at his open maw? I am Such an optimist.......

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 23, 2024:

@annewimsey500 Bunch of fucking posers like that clown I told off at the store today in his fake camouflage and crocs wearing the MAGA hat..

Found a Southern patriot

annewimsey500 comments on Apr 23, 2024:

So fat one wonders how he- gonna reach that hamburger....maybe he spears it on his gun nozzle and points it at his open maw? I am Such an optimist.......

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 23, 2024:

@annewimsey500 Posting this in that conservative group was fun..... They got so butthurt they blocked me so I couldn't read your comment...

Found a Southern patriot

annewimsey500 comments on Apr 23, 2024:

So fat one wonders how he- gonna reach that hamburger....maybe he spears it on his gun nozzle and points it at his open maw? I am Such an optimist.......

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 23, 2024:

@annewimsey500 Besides these guys are so fucking stupid shooting themselves in the head would do no damage at all.... Now if the gun gets shoved up their ass....

Jesus is leaving everynody

CuddyCruiser comments on Apr 23, 2024:

..

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 23, 2024:

New from DeWalt....

Found a Southern patriot

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 23, 2024:

I am going to post this in the conservative group...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 23, 2024:

Awww they got all butthurt and blocked me from the group....

Found a Southern patriot

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 23, 2024:

I am going to post this in the conservative group...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 23, 2024:

Enjoy.... https://agnostic.com/group/Conservativeatheists/discussion/753925/this-is-how-you-all-look-to-people-who-arent-assholes

I can't recommend a solution

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 23, 2024:

Get a penis enlargement and talk to your priest.... After all he has been fucking your whole family for years...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 23, 2024:

@Betty None whatsoever.... You know how I define sympathy right?.... Just another word in the dictionary between shit and syphilis...

Going in for a colonoscopy tomorrow so I am drinking the asshole draino to get ready for tomorrow ...

ThinkingFree comments on Apr 23, 2024:

I had an endoscopy and a colonoscopy on the same morning once. The doc comes up to me and says, "are you ready?" And I say, "yes, but will you respect me in the morning?" 😂🤣😅😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 23, 2024:

When I checked in I told them I was there to see Dr Paul....

Bonus Word Joke for Tuesday Little boy of about 7 is sitting on a park bench, smoking a ...

Marionville comments on Apr 23, 2024:

My husband was admonished by his mother when she smelt smoke on him when he came home from school…she looked up directly into his eyes and told him it would stunt his growth! They then both burst out laughing as she realised how ridiculous that remark was…he was 16 years old and already ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 23, 2024:

My parents told me the same thing about coffee... At my physical peak I was 5'11" and weighed 190 lbs I was also lifting and carrying V-8 short blocks (complete) and bench pressing transmissions like the old Ford C-5 into place. Lighter weight ones for cars like RWD Volvos I would just military press into place and run in some bolts to hold it up with one hand... I was also known to put in four cylinder engines without using an engine lift.

Found a Southern patriot

annewimsey500 comments on Apr 23, 2024:

So fat one wonders how he- gonna reach that hamburger....maybe he spears it on his gun nozzle and points it at his open maw? I am Such an optimist.......

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 23, 2024:

Pity his fingers are probably so fat he can't pull the trigger...

Well he asked for it....

Betty comments on Apr 23, 2024:

I am in total agreement with that assessment. 😍

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 23, 2024:

So are his supporters....assholes the lot of them and exceptionally stupid ones at that.

Two Puppets

Seriousreason comments on Apr 22, 2024:

Jeff Dunham is a patriot. He along with 2/3rds of Americas citizens. Are not happy with the countrys current direction. They cling to their unbalanced demonization of one man who threatens their hold on power. Its all they have , because their policies are proving disastrous.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 23, 2024:

In 2020 that was true....

Texas mom: 'Hocus Pocus 2' will make you 'fall victim to the schemes of hell'

LenHazell53 comments on Oct 7, 2022:

Some one seriously needs to get laid

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 23, 2024:

Please no there are far too many stupid people in the world to be breeding more of them...

Poor Kermit...

Betty comments on Apr 23, 2024:

Kermit should have known better. 😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 23, 2024:

Than to date Moscow Marge?....

Going in for a colonoscopy tomorrow so I am drinking the asshole draino to get ready for tomorrow ...

anglophone comments on Apr 23, 2024:

Been there, done that. I don't envy you.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 23, 2024:

@anglophone A double cheese burger and pot of coffee after no solid food for over 36 hours....

Going in for a colonoscopy tomorrow so I am drinking the asshole draino to get ready for tomorrow ...

anglophone comments on Apr 23, 2024:

Been there, done that. I don't envy you.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 23, 2024:

Part I hate most is waking up it reminds me of things I would rather forget. Only thing I want after regaining consciousness is to get the fuck out of there...

Going in for a colonoscopy tomorrow so I am drinking the asshole draino to get ready for tomorrow ...

pamagain comments on Apr 22, 2024:

Ahhhh, yes! Welcome to adulthood. There's GOT to be a better way....why don't they find it?

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 22, 2024:

@pamagain Yet one of many reasons I despise religion... Look at what it is doing in Ukraine with the Russian Orcs stealing everything they can get their hands on including pieces of Ukrainian churches all in the name of "Religious morality..."

Going in for a colonoscopy tomorrow so I am drinking the asshole draino to get ready for tomorrow ...

pamagain comments on Apr 22, 2024:

Ahhhh, yes! Welcome to adulthood. There's GOT to be a better way....why don't they find it?

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 22, 2024:

Because we were born a thousand years too soon... Every modern scifi writer I can think of has taken a whack at this one like the Known Space series Autodocs or the Regen tanks from The Mercenary series even TV has shows like StarTrek and Stargate Atlantis has that tech but because Christians have constantly fought against progress and science even to the point of destroying knowledge so we still live in the Medical Dark Ages...

Today's the holiday named in honor of my old tinder account-passover.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 22, 2024:

Most of those dating sites are owned by the same company and all the ones they own are fraudulent. Fake accounts made by the company, hookers, and scammers are about all there is but they promise you will do better if you have a "paid account" yet as far as I have been able to tell through research ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 22, 2024:

@DenoPenno And if you do some research into ownership of those sites you will find they are all owned by Match.com...

If you were to dedicate a song to your ex what would it be?.... This is to mine... [youtu.be]

LenHazell53 comments on Apr 22, 2024:

Angry out of tune and offensive to the ears The Cradle of Filth cover of Devil woman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1WY4t6BQYw

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 22, 2024:

And then there is this... Sorry you have to watch it on youtube... https://youtu.be/0DbDI32y9tU?si=nOvubaUVq_AHgjNT

Uncanny Resemblances

Trajan61 comments on Apr 21, 2024:

Only a libtard like you would see a resemblance on the lower right photo. Hell Biden is a far greater threat to American democracy that Trump.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 21, 2024:

@annewimsey500 Sometimes I think these idiots spray pepper spray into their eyes every morning...

Friday night I had way too many drinks and put Windows 10 Pro on my oldest daughter's computer.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 21, 2024:

Make sure you report this to your state's version of CPS and let them know that you want full irrevocable custody of your granddaughter and forward the letters to them as well. Make sure this scum gets nowhere near the girl and make sure your daughter only has supervised visitation when she gets ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 21, 2024:

@DenoPenno At least you may be able to save this one...

Uncanny Resemblances

Trajan61 comments on Apr 21, 2024:

Only a libtard like you would see a resemblance on the lower right photo. Hell Biden is a far greater threat to American democracy that Trump.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 21, 2024:

Donny Shitler has tried already to overthrow the government as well as openly telling people he will be a dictator from day one...

What is the difference between a church sanctioned exorcism and a satanic exorcism?

michelle666gar comments on Apr 21, 2024:

Does it involve castration?

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 21, 2024:

@Betty That is a frog nailed to a cross holding a beer and an egg.... Upset the last pope to no end calling it "sacrilegious" or some such nonsense. You remember the last pope? A Hitler's youth Nazi who joined the cult to hide out from his war crimes?...

Ukraine aid finally passes!.

silverotter11 comments on Apr 21, 2024:

Finally, something actually important and much needed gets done in Congress. So, why do I feel that the GOP is up to something no good? Could it be a distraction from trump fart jokes, that the Dems are being more vocal about why the border issues are not being solved or the abortion issue that ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 21, 2024:

I was thinking of contacting a prankster from the house and suggesting a bill designating certain MAGA members to be put forth in the official records by only by the officially designated names like... Baby killer Boebert Massacre Marge Traitor Don Add your favorite below

What is the difference between a church sanctioned exorcism and a satanic exorcism?

michelle666gar comments on Apr 21, 2024:

Does it involve castration?

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 21, 2024:

@Betty Do you think I have tons of personal information like pictures floating around the Internet? I get too much spam as it is in my email address? I would have to be an idiot...

What is the difference between a church sanctioned exorcism and a satanic exorcism?

michelle666gar comments on Apr 21, 2024:

Does it involve castration?

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 21, 2024:

@Betty Not green or little in my case but every time I look around me I am convinced I was kidnapped as a child by an exceptionally retarded alien species for study....

What is the difference between a church sanctioned exorcism and a satanic exorcism?

michelle666gar comments on Apr 21, 2024:

Does it involve castration?

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 21, 2024:

@Betty Unfortunately not but I am sure there are high ranking officers in the Navy who would be happy to assist and would likely write it off as a "training exercise..."

What is the difference between a church sanctioned exorcism and a satanic exorcism?

michelle666gar comments on Apr 21, 2024:

Does it involve castration?

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 21, 2024:

@Betty How about a Los Angeles class nuclear submarine?....

What is the difference between a church sanctioned exorcism and a satanic exorcism?

racocn8 comments on Apr 21, 2024:

Good luck with that. I question whether you can stop priestly pedophilia with an exorcism or anything short of lobotomy.

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 21, 2024:

I find decapitation works fine.... Never known anyone it doesn't work on.

What is the difference between a church sanctioned exorcism and a satanic exorcism?

michelle666gar comments on Apr 21, 2024:

Does it involve castration?

Lizard_of_Ahaz replies on Apr 21, 2024:

@Betty Be the biggest assholes they ever probed....